Severus' choices
by Acop
Summary: AU. Severus tried to understand why Lily had refused to forgive him for calling her a Mudblood. After watching through his memories of five years at Hogwarts, he makes a different choice for his future. [Previous summary : What if Severus had made a different choice after Lily's rejection in fifth year?] (this is an AU, events before and after may differ from the books).
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I am only playing in this world for fun

Author note: This is AU. Some events of the books might not happen or happen differently.

This story is unbetaed, if anyone wants to beta my story, please PM me :).

I welcome reviews and constructive criticism :)

AN: This chapter was reposted on 08/23/2017 for correction of grammar and punctuations mistakes.

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The five-year-old was shaking.

His parents were arguing. Again.

They were shouting and insulting each other. Again.

That was not the worst part. Soon, they would shout about him.

Mother would remind Father how happy they were before the boy's mishap. Father would sneer that a 2 years old boy making his favourite toy fly toward him was not a mishap. He would coldly remind her that before this, he had not known he had married a f... g witch, and had even less imagined that his f... g son would be one too. He would then shout that even if she denied it, she had known any son of her would possess her curse, as she had not been surprised by the boy's f...g flying ball, only horrified that her husband had witnessed the incident. She could at least have had the decency to warn him before the wedding, in which case he would have run as far away from her as possible.

When he was older, the boy would understand his father behaviour had been heavily influenced by the World War II. The uncertainty while waiting for the next bombardment, the death of his own father and brother, the difficulty for his father's mother to feed her family ... This and more had affected him deeply. Since then, his father goal had been to find a job, a good gal to marry and make children with, and raise said children peacefully. His wish was fulfilled when his wife bore him a son and then life was perfect despite the toughness of his job at the factory. His dreamed life until magic happened. To see the destruction of his dream was probably the last straw and he had not been able to bear it.

Yes, the boy would understand but never forgive his Father for not being strong enough to love his unexpectedly magical son.

At this point of the argument, depending on Mother mood, two different scenarios could happen. His parents would switch on remembering the good times before him, how happy they were before the boy had spoiled everything. Mother would talk about putting money aside to be able to afford a potion that would ride their son of his magic. Or she would try to stand up for him, saying that he was just a boy and if Father taught him how to, he would use his magic responsibly and to help his family. The last one usually earned her a verbal lashing, with a slap or two if Father was drunk enough.

As much as the boy tried not to hear all these things, hidden in his room under his cover and his pillow, the walls were thin and their voices so loud that he barely missed a world.

As his parents got louder and louder, each sentence worse than the previous one, Severus muffled his cries in his hand - no one liked a snivelling boy, his father had once told him after he had hurt himself playing outside- and hoped for sleep to come sooner rather than later.

Severus was now eight and life was not so bad. He did not go to muggle school as Mother insisted he should not have to bear with the poor commoners that went there and their awful lack of manners. Father had snorted at that, saying they were poor commoners themselves and that most of the kids that went to the neighbouring school had fathers that worked with him at the factory.

Still, Mother was not to be swayed on this so Severus was home-schooled from his sixth birthday, mainly on grammar - Mother would not tolerate him talking like an illiterate runt-, mathematics, geography and biology. Thankfully for Severus, he loved learning and absorbed everything he could. More importantly, he understood everything he learned. Mother quickly decided he would learn about magic too. Usually, he would work on muggle lessons in the morning and learn basic theory from Mother's beginners' books - and later some of her Hogwarts first year books - in the afternoon. From time to time, she would allow him to borrow her wand and practice charms and defence against the Dark Arts. It was sometimes a little lonely as his mother did her daily tasks while he taught himself from books, but it was worth the time they spent together during practice.

Moreover, on Mothers good days, he was allowed to brew and experiment with potions. Mother had forbidden him to study her potions books as she still used those regularly and did not want to risk him damaging them. Instead, she had given him a book about testing herbs and ingredient to determine their properties and how they would react with each other. On brewing days, she would tell him what the potion of the day should do and leave him to figure out a workable recipe: which ingredients he should use, in which order, how he should stir, ... When he had his own recipe written, after looking it over, she would place protective wards around him and allow him to brew it.

It was hard. He sometimes needed several sessions to complete a recipe. It was great. He loved it. His potions were perfect. It was only later that he realised his mother had never intended for him to be that successful without a known recipe. She had thought to occupy him, making him research and learn potions ingredients and their properties while she would have the peace to brew her own potions.

On Mother bad days, Severus did not have lessons but went to the park and played on the swings the farthest away from the other kids. Those knew each other, went to school together and did not need nor want an interloper in their ranks. Severus sometimes felt a pang of longing watching them play together but the thought of all the magic he was learning instead was usually enough to make it pass.

Severus had learned young to repress his accidental magic in order not to provoke his father wrath. More often than not, as long as he behaved himself and did not mention magic, Father ignored him. As he worked long hours at the factory, Severus only needed to be careful in the evenings, when he usually already was in his room, and in the weekends. His parents still argued a lot, but he now managed to use his accidental magic to make his room soundproof when he needed it. Severus was not sure you could still call it accidental magic as he did it with conscious intent, but as long as it worked, he figured he could wait for Hogwarts to pursue the matter.

All in all, Severus was content until the day he met her.

The eleven years old was all over the moon. His best friend and himself had both received their Hogwarts letter and in a few weeks, they would be far far away from here, learning more magic, allowed to use their wand to practice and with unlimited access to one of the best magical library in the world.

Over the last three years, things had gone from tolerable to worst but still good for Severus.

Three years ago, the best day of his life happened. It was also his worst in a sense.

It was the day he met Lily, the sun of his days, his first and only best friend. It was also the day Father was fired from the factory, along with many others. From this day, his dream definitely shattered, his father drank more and more every day.

Severus' mother had to resort to brew and sell potions in order to make ends meet. Father had sneered at the idea she would be able to bring money in with her disgusting mixtures but been all too happy to take his share and drink it away at the pub with his fired friends when money came.

Father also forbade her to use owls for potions orders and deliveries, as their continued presences would raise the neighbours' suspicion. Instead, Mother had gone to Diagon Alley to open a magical mail box: she had a box at home, another in one of Diagon Alley shop. Customers put their order in the Diagon Alley box. They appeared in their house one, Mother brewed the potions needed, put the customer name on them then put them in the house box. The potions vials apparated in the Diagon Alley box where the customer could take them from the box in exchange of their cost. The galleons deposited in the box were converted into pounds automatically before apparating in their home box. It worked quite well but Severus wondered if the magic used for the transfer impacted the potions potency and was determined to research it when he had more sources available.

Nevertheless, it was a high point for Severus because his mother allowed him more time to brew so that he would do the simplest potions and they would make more money. It meant cutting on his study time but Mother estimated he was already ahead of his years in both his muggle and magical studies, with the exception of transfiguration, so it would not cause him any harm.

Being in a muggle area with no contact with the wizarding world made finding some ingredients difficult. His mother usually owl-ordered them, but in the quantities needed for his mother new business, it was expensive. So Severus experimented with muggle herbs and plants that they either found in abundance in the woods near home or could buy for a cheap price. He carefully tested them as he had done so often with wizarding potions ingredients before, following the instructions from his well-worn book that he now knew by heart. There were many failures, but it was worst their few great successes and Severus learned a lot from it. Thanks to it, they were able to put together a rather extensive potion catalogue considering they were not apothecaries, ranging from simple healing balm to cleaning potions with hangover potion in between.

They managed enough potions to pay for everyday fare and to put some away for Severus first year at Hogwarts, as Mother had always been adamant that her son was powerful enough to receive a letter. The reason they did so well money wise was also because one galleons was worth five muggle pounds. In this case, living in the muggle world was a distinctive advantage.

When he was ten, Mother introduced him to the Dark Arts. She told him her family, the Prince, had always been fascinated by this subject as it was complex, difficult, powerful and mastered by few. She could tell that Severus, with his already keen intellect and insatiable thirst of knowledge and experiment, would be drawn to it and she wanted him to have proper foundations, before people could present him with a skewed view of the subject. Mother almost never talked about her family, and only during her shouting matches with Father. She sometimes told him that he should not treat her like this when she was from the noble house of Prince, but he always laughed, saying he doubted that her so noble family had recovered from her eloping with a mere muggle, and not even rich, instead of marrying the scion of another noble family as had been arranged between the two head of houses. For Mother to bring up her family, Severus knew the subject mattered to her.

That day, she made sure Father would not disturb them by dosing him with a sleeping potion, something she only dared in emergencies. Then she sat with Severus, impressing even more upon him the seriousness of the matter, and explained the four rules you should always bear in mind before using the Dark Arts.

1-There is always a price to pay when one uses the Dark Arts.

2-The price is always a sacrifice, either from the user or an external source.

3-The extensive use of an external source as sacrifice taints the very soul of the user and can lead to the corruption of his magical core. In extreme case, it can twist the soul of the user to the point that he is no longer human, meaning no longer able to feel and react like a human being.

4-The result of the Dark Arts always depends on the intent of the user. Always focus on the result you want to achieve when using the Dark Arts. Be careful of mixed feelings you may harbour for a subject when using Dark Arts on him.

Mother also explained that you should learn about the Dark Arts to be able to protect yourself from them. Indeed, without knowing their functioning, you would not be able to create adequate protections. She also warned him that many uses of the Dark Arts were forbidden by the ministry even if it could save lives because the Dark Arts always had two sides: one that saved, one that corrupted or killed.

A new world opened to Severus and he diligently learned as much as he could under his mother watch.

Severus still made plenty of time for his best friend. Since the day they became friends, he met Lily at the park every day after she finished her school, where they played and talked together. He told her about the magical world as best as he could, having never been there himself - his mother had always refused to take him with her the few times she had had to go. She knew his mother taught him magic but between her muggle school and her family, he never was able to teach her more than writing with a quill and a few basics in potion. As such, when she returned from her day in Diagon alley where, being a muggle born, a professor had brought her to buy her school things at the beginning of the summer before Hogwarts, Lily devoured her books and then spent their time together pestering him with questions.

Severus and his mother had gone to Diagon alley too. Except for the potion book, they did not buy any school books as Severus would take his mothers. Instead, Mother bought him a history book - not Hogwarts a history as it was way too romanticized- that she told him to read in history class as the ghost professor was useless and the book was comprehensive enough to last his seven years.

They bought school robes at Madam Malkin's then made an extended stay at the apothecary. They of course bought potions ingredients but also seized the occasion to observe the potions they proposed as well as their prices to later compare with their own catalogue. Finally, they went to get Severus' wand, which took far longer than he would have thought.

Garrick Ollivander was The wandmaker in vogue. His family had been making wands successfully for generations before he took the reins of the business and became known as one of the best wandmakers in the world. Ollivander did a lot of research on wands before taking on after his father's trade. He came to the conclusion that the core of the wands that gave the best results to wizards were for ninety-five per cent made of either phoenix feather, dragon ventricle or unicorn tail hair, and decided to only use these elements to manufacture the Ollivander's wands. It was a success and soon enough, his wands were renowned to bring out the best from any wizards.

But Mother shook her head when they passed the shop and told him they would be going to the very best wandmaker, the same her father had led her to when it was time to get her own wand. She explained that it would take more time, probably be more expensive, but that if Severus gave his all, as she was sure he would because he was half a Prince after all, her son would get the wand that suited him the best.

Puzzled, Severus followed her to the edge of Diagon Alley where she took his hand, told him firmly to remain near her, and went into Knockturn Alley. They walked for what seemed like hours to Severus in shady narrow streets, passing strange and threatening looking persons. They finally arrived at the end of Knockturn Alley and went on into the woods that bordered it. More and more intrigued, Severus let out a sigh of relief when they soon came to a hut which had "Wandmaker" engraved across its door.

Mother knocked then entered, ushering Severus behind her. In front of them was a wooden desk with a wrinkled man behind. Not saying a word, he got up and made a gesture toward Severus. Unsure, he looked at his mother who pushed him gently toward the man so Severus followed him to a backroom which contained rows and rows of ingredients, some Severus could not identify, others he could not even guess about.

"Go through the rows and stop each time you feel a pull", gruffly said the man.

Severus did as he was told, walking through all the rows, focusing on sensing an eventual pull. When he finished, he had stopped only three times, in front of empty cases that the man had retrieved and put on a wood table.

"Now stand in front of the table, close your eyes and walk toward the stronger pull".

Severus once again did as told. Closing his eyes, he tried to empty his mind to only feel the pulls. At first, he thought it was a little stronger in the middle, but as he waited to be sure, he felt more and more attracted to the left and finally ended in front of the left side of the table.

"Good, you took your time. " said the man with slight approval.

Looking in the left case, Severus saw it was still empty and wondered what the heck was going on and why had Mother taken him here instead of going to Ollivander. Still, he knew she must have good reasons, as with the Dark Arts, so he waited as patiently as he could and refrained from any comment.

"Now come".

The man led him through another backdoor which, to his surprise, opened on the woods. Severus saw different type of trees in front of him, the same trees seeming grouped together.

"Close your eyes again and walk toward the pull".

This time it was easier, Severus sensed an immediate pull and walked until he was in front of it. Opening is eyes, he saw he was facing several ash trees, and from what he could see, more ash trees were behind them. The man came next to him and made a sign to follow him. They walked among the ash trees for a long time until the man suddenly stopped. He approached a tree and waited, without doing anything as far as Severus could see, but when he finally came back, he had a piece of wood in his hand. They came back to the hut and went to another different room.

"Sit" said the man tersely.

Severus found a stool in a corner and did so, while the man went to his workshop and began to work. Severus observed as much as he could but the truth was he did not understand what he was seeing and how it related to the creation of a wand. Soon his mind grew bored and wandered to his potions experiments.

"Come here!"

Severus nearly fell from his stool at the order but quickly went to the man.

"Now focus on the wand, try to push your magic toward it without actually doing anything like exploding my shop"

Severus swallowed then, recalling the feeling of using his magic not to hear his parents, he tried to push it into the wand. After what seemed like hours but was only seconds, the man told him to stop. They went back to the first room where his mother was waiting for them.

"You might want to go to Ollivander's for the boy's wand."

Mother raised an eyebrow, silently conveying her surprise and encouraging him to explain himself.

"It's a difficult wand that choose him. A difficult wand he made. He will need time to grow into it, years, and he might never uncover his complete potential. It would be easier with one of Ollivander's, and he would be assured to develop at least some parts of his powers"

"What is his wand made of?" asked Mother, curiosity showing through her eyes.

"Ash tree and Thestral tail hair. 12 inches. Flexible but solid."

That explained it, thought Severus. Thestrals were only visible by those having witnessed a death. It was the same for their body parts, even unattached to their body. Severus had never seen someone die - he spared a thought for the wandmaker who obviously had - so the cases had not been empty, he just had not been able to see their contents.

"I see, " she said, pausing a few seconds. "We will take it, I have every confidence in him".

"He is your son", shrugged the wandmaker.

"Indeed he is", she said. She sounded proud, thought Severus. It was the first time she had sounded like this in front of a stranger and he felt warm all over. Mother paid fifteen galleons, an astronomical amount to Severus, and they went back home. She refused to explain the wandmaker odd comments but bought him an old looking book on wand lore after having riffled through it.

Once home, he did not lose anytime going through the wand lore book to find more about his wand and was left perplexed. Here is what the book said about the two materials of his wand:

 _Ash: The ash wand clings to its one true master and ought not to be passed on or gifted from the original owner, because it will lose power and skill. Those witches and wizards best suited to ash wands are not lightly swayed from their beliefs or purposes. However, the brash or over-confident witch or wizard, who often insists on trying wands of this prestigious wood, will be disappointed by its effects. The ideal owner may be stubborn, and will certainly be courageous, but never crass or arrogant._

 _Thestral tail hair: Thestral tail hair is a powerful but tricky substance that can only be mastered by a witch or wizard capable of facing death._

Severus was disconcerted as both the wood and the core of his wand were suited to a brave wizard, something he was sure he was not. No way he would ever be a hero, it was far too hazardous for one's health and really, in all the books he had read, the hero was not as brave as he was foolish and reckless, something Severus was definitely not. Still, he liked the idea of his wand being loyal to him.

He read that a dimension of 12 inch was a little more than the norm and sometimes said to be a sign of power but experts disagreed on this. The flexible part was easy as Severus had learned to adapt himself to his parents' mood in order to avoid any disagreement. He was not sure about the solid part it was not mentioned in the book.

All in all, while Severus wand did not look like the best match for him, the wandmaker words remained unexplained. He fretted several days because of it then shove it away to focus on potions and Lily. About two weeks before the beginning of school, an owl delivered him an unsigned letter.

 _Your wand can make you one of the best as it can let you be one of the more pathetic if you do not master it._

 _It is a wand to be grown into as it takes time to bond with the ash. The ash chose you because of your potential but the bond between you will need time to grow and you to nurture it. Once the bond is strong, your control of your power should be perfect._

 _It is a wand to be grown into as you will need to prove your valour to tame the Thestral tail hair. It will be hard but remember valour can come in many forms. However, I am sad to say you will need to face death to be able to fully master it. Then it will allow you to use your maximal power._

 _It might never come to be but you have great potential._

 _PS: Once the ash has bounded with you, it will be near impossible for you to choose another wand without this one being broken. If you shall be the one to break it, you will never be able to use another wand without getting only feeble results._

The letter left Severus even more bereft. He had no intention of facing an Avada Kedavra any time soon so mastering the full powers of his wand looked highly improbable. He also had no idea how to nurture a bond with it but knew there was no way Mother would buy him another wand. After a sleepless night, Severus decided he could do nothing about it and to wait and see.

Today was the day. Severus and Lily were in a train compartment, waving to her family and his mother.

The summer had flown by between Lily and his mother. His mother had stopped their daily lessons, stating that he was more than ready enough for Hogwarts and would learn all he wanted there. She only kept on their lessons on the Dark Arts as she wanted to make sure the school would not undo all her efforts. They still brew potions, his mother following her recipes, Severus using or creating his owns. It still left lots of time for Severus to spend with Lily and with the knowledge of Hogwarts approaching, it was easily the best time of his life ever.

Sighing happily, Severus sat himself comfortably in his seat against Lily. They had made plans this summer. They would go to Ravenclaw because it was the only house they both felt comfortable with. According to his mother and Hogwarts: a history- Lily's copy, the teacher accompanying her had insisted she bought one -, your house was your family in Hogwarts. There was Hufflepuff, for the friendly and the hard workers. They both agreed that if Severus was a hard worker, he was not the friendliest people so they ruled it out. Gryffindor was for the brave and if Lily would definitely fit in there with her fierce temper and her love for risks, Severus was a more cautious kind and really did not see the point of defending people you did not know. Slytherin was for the ambitious and the cunning, it was a perfect fit for Severus but Lily, who wore her feelings on her face, was a no go. So, it had to be Ravenclaw, they both loved knowledge and they would be together so it was the perfect house.

His daydream was interrupted by the arrival of two loud boys. The one with glasses asked Lily if they could seat with such a beautiful lady, the other one adding they would gladly save her from the boy who sat next to her with such an ugly face. Severus scowled but had no time for a well-deserved cutting retort as Lily threw them out while unleashing her temper on them.

Remarking how rude they were, hoping that not all wizards were like them, and assuring Severus he was not ugly - that was nice of Lily to say even if Severus had heard it often enough in his parents mouths to know otherwise- they settled back to talk and wait for Hogwarts.


	2. Chapter 1

AN: This chapter was reposted on 08/23/2017 for correction of grammar and punctuations mistakes.

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Severus sat on the floor of his private lab, his arms draped around his knees, a few tears slowly dripping on his face. He had just said something bad to Lily and she would not forgive him. Even after he had waited for hours outside Gryffindor entrance for her to come out and talk to him. Even after he had pleaded and begged her to forgive him, she had refused, stating their friendship was over. She had told him they had been growing apart anyway, him with his nasty friends that insulted her, her with her perfect little friends that despised Severus...

It was well after curfew but Severus refused to go back to his dormitory. He could not show up there with trace of tears on his face. They would not accept he was so devastated because of her. And he needed to think. He needed to understand why he had called Lily a Mudblood when he almost never used the word. He needed to understand why she would end their seven years friendship only because of a word said in a moment of anger and humiliation.

Breathing deeply, Severus focused on occluding, banishing his current feelings for future examination.

He had begun teaching himself Occlumency when he realised the headmaster could see into minds.

Severus had once felt headmaster Dumbledore in his mind after a fight with the Marauders in their fourth year and had pushed back instinctively, expelling him from his mind. Not really understanding what had happened back then, he had as always turned to books to help him. He had quickly figured out that Dumbledore had probably used Legilimency on him to try to see his memories of the fight. He had learned that to protect one's mind from Legilimency, you needed to use Occlumency. Severus had profited from a visit to Hogsmead to buy several useful books on Occlumency and had begun its study right away.

He now was good enough to prevent Dumbledore from entering his mind, as he had made the bittersweet experience earlier this year. But Severus had also discovered that Occlumency helped with feelings. It allowed him to reign his temper in and think with a cool head instead, but that was something he still had some difficulties to achieve as today disastrous afternoon could attest. Occlumency also allowed him to review memories in his head while distancing himself from them. That was what he needed right now.

Breathing more and more deeply, Severus steeled himself and went to his memories.

The first step in learning Occlumency was to find a place where you felt safe. This place represented your inner mind and was the foundation of learning Occlumency. Indeed, the mind dealt with feelings, thoughts, the subconscious, the unconscious and the conscious. Because of its intricacy and the closeness one needed to experience with his own mind, the almost obligation to face his inner self in order to succeed in Occlumency, you needed to feel safe in your mind. Moreover, this place was to be the cornerstone of your protection against mind invasion so you needed to trust it. It was also the place where you organized your memories, more or less consciously depending on your aptitude and your mastery of Occlumency, and where you could access them voluntarily so you might as well make it a pleasant place.

Without surprise, Severus mind was his potion laboratory. He had chosen it for two reasons.

First, this laboratory was the place he felt the safest from everything. He had hesitated with his and Lily's place in the park where they had spent so much time before Hogwarts. Their friendship had had its rocky moments but she remained his ray of sun. In the end, he had decided his mind should be a place of his own, not shared with anyone as that was precisely what he wanted to protect himself from. He had also feared any evolution in his relationship with Lily would affect his safe place and impede his learning.

He snorted softly. Seemed he had been right to be cautious, as always.

Slughorn had given him access to this laboratory in his third year after Severus had asked him for a place to conduct experiments at the beginning of the school year. Slughorn had been reluctant at first, Severus was not part of the Slugh club as he was neither influential in school nor had he powerful family members. The few times he had been at the club parties was when Lily had brought him. She was a member because as every teacher, Slughorn was under her spell and saw a bright future for her with powerful connections. She was also his star pupil. Severus knew he was the better potioner but Slughorn was biased and often gave her a slightly better grade, even when they worked on a project together. Still, Severus had been determined to have a place to brew by himself when he wanted to and he had told the professor to test him on anything he deemed necessary to prove that Severus knew what he was doing and would not harm himself on his own. Seeing his student determination, Slughorn had asked him to brew several potions, some with an incomplete or wrong recipe to see how Severus would handle it. He also tested him on spells used to vanish or contain potions gone wrong as well as shields to protect himself should a potion explode. Severus breezed through it all and Slughorn, impressed despite himself, allowed him access to a small private lab protected by a password set by Severus that could only be overruled by a teacher. Of course, Slughorn warned him that at the first incident, he would revoke this privilege.

For the first time Slughorn really took notice of him and officially invited him to join the Slug club. Severus did not go often but it had made his chest swell a little to finally have his talent recognized by someone of the field.

The second reason Severus had chosen the lab was that anyone having even only heard of him knew he loved potions. Even if they managed to get past his defences to enter his inner mind, they would not be surprised to see him brew in his potions lab. They would be unsure if they were really in his mind or in one of his memory and it could give him the advantage needed to throw them out of his mind.

As it was, his potion lab was very practical to defend his mind. He now was good enough to have the fumes of the potions brewing constantly protecting his mind, hiding his very thoughts behind a slight fog he could thicken if needed. The flames under the cauldrons could grow and attack an intruder, the potions ingredients could morph into hideous defences. As a last resort or if taken by surprise, a large pewter cauldron would either block an intruder access or hit and eject him from Severus mind. Severus was still working on other defences, especially on the subtle one consisting in projecting false feelings and memories without a legilimens being able to detect it, but in little more than a year, he felt he had made good progresses.

Finding himself in his familiar lab, Severus walked past the ingredients shelves to the potions shelves. He pressed on one vial and the shelve slid, allowing him to enter a storage room full of potions. Thinking about where he wanted to begin, he let his feet guide him to his first year shelve where one vial came out for him to open and pour out, not a potion, but a memory.

It was the beginning of his first year, Lily was walking to the Gryffindor tables. Severus remembered how it had hurt, knowing he could never get sorted in this house even if his life had depended on it. He watched with a sneer as Potter joined her. At the time, he had not cared but now...

His turn came, and his small younger safe disappeared under the talking hat.

"Ah, you're the one the little Evans girl wanted so much to be with, even if it meant not going to the house which would help her reach her full potential."

"She really tried to follow the plan?" Asked young Severus, not even surprised that a hat was talking in his head, so relieved he was that Lily had not let him down the moment she was in the magical world.

The hat chuckled.

"Indeed she tried, a fierce temper this one. But you are the one in need of a sorting right now. Let me see. Well, it seems you already know where you're going to be. I'm afraid I can't let you go to Ravenclaw, they would not survive your tongue coupled with your brilliance. Yes, you can only go to ..."

" Slytherin! " the hat bellowed.

Severus watched as he walked to his house table under a thunder of applauses. He frowned as he realised that during his first year, every firstie had had the same amount of congratulatory acclamations. On the contrary, this year, the Slytherins had only received their house applause as well as a few from Ravenclaw. Gryffindors had received congratulations from every house except Slytherin. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff had received applauses from all the houses, but nothing as loud and enthusiastic as in his first year. It was only the tip of the iceberg but so revealing of the changes and the fracture the school - and the wizarding world - had gone through in mere five years.

His younger self was tentatively talking with Evan and Jonathan. He smiled, seeing his friends so young and unguarded. They had been fast friends, even if they did not become close before some time, as befit a Slytherin worth his salt. At first, they had been drawn together because of their table seating on the sorting night, because they shared a dorm and because they stuck a deal after their first week: Evan Rosier and Jonathan Wilkes, who were both Purebloods and had grown up living in the wizarding world, agreed to teach Severus about wizard politics and pureblood families in exchange of Severus helping them with potions.

The memory changed. His young self was walking Hogwarts' grounds with Lily, slowly making their way towards Hagrid's hut. Lily had been impressed with Hagrid when he had led them in the boats the night of their sorting and had decided to try and become friend with him. Young Severus had followed reluctantly, the man was huge and did not look quite tame.

Severus smiled sadly. They had not visited Hagrid since fourth year and only because of Lily insistence. The man had not seemed sure of how to approach Severus since third year and the incident.

The friendship between Lily and him had surprised people because it was a rare occurrence to see a Gryffindor and Slytherin friends by their own. You could find some in larger groups that included Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs, but rarely only the two houses. Still, nobody had frown upon it and Lily and he had happily studied together, with some of their friends sometimes joining them.

That was not to say Lily and he had not been watched the first month, mostly because of concerned parties for his safety if you could believe it. Remembering his first night in Slytherin, Severus let the memory unfold in his mind.

Lucius Malfoy, the then seven year Slytherin prefect, had led the first years into the common room after the feast. Most of them were tired after their busy day but it was Slytherin tradition to welcome and warn its newest additions on their first night.

Lucius ordered them to sit but not too comfortably as they needed to stay awake.

"Welcome to the noble house of Slytherin", began Lucius. "We will be your family for the next seven years. Our head of House is Professor Horace Slughorn, the potion professor."

Lucius paused, making sure the eleven years old were all paying attention.

"First, let me tell you about Salazar Slytherin, our founder. His story will help you understand the rules I will tell you afterwards."

Severus smiled. Lucius was a very good orator as well as a compelling storyteller. Combined with the majestic surroundings of the common room and its intimate lighting, the first years were hanging onto his every word.

"Salazar Slytherin was one of the four founders of Hogwarts. He had a mastery in Potions, Arithmancy and the Dark Arts, as well as in the healing arts. He was one of the first known parseltongues, meaning he could understand and talk to snakes. We think it is one of the reasons he chose one as his school crest, as well as appreciating their utility in potions. Contrary to what some says, he did not hate Muggles, but he was wary of them. You must keep in mind that in Slytherin's time, Muggles were not as advanced as Wizards as they had not yet learned to compensate their lack of magic. As such, their hygiene and medicine were close to non-existent, which led to several great pandemics and millions of deaths. Most of them were also illiterate, superstitious and afraid of magic. For these reasons, Salazar advocated against contacts between Muggles and Wizards. Several years after the creation of our school, Muggles began burning those they suspected of witchery, as they called it. Many Muggleborns died in these times, often murdered by their own family at their first accidental magic because they were believed to have been cursed by the Devil. Slytherin's own wife was murdered by Muggles who had seen her heal a child with magic. After her death, Salazar asked for Muggleborns to be taken from their family and adopted by a magical family as soon as their names appeared in Hogwarts' registering book."

Lucius paused.

"For those who do not know it, Hogwarts' registering book was created by Helena Ravenclaw. The name of every English magical child appears in it when his magic first become active. The year of his eleventh birthday, his name is transferred to the inscription book if he is deemed powerful enough. Hogwarts is the only English school for the powerful in magic. Several others smaller schools exist for those who would exhaust their magical core after only a few spells. These schools teach mostly magical theory as well as how to limit the strain on their students' magical core when they cast a spell."

Severus remembered being surprised about this information, but in retrospect he should have guessed Hogwarts could not be the only magical school in England. However, it disturbed him to think one could have less magic than Crabb and Goyle, two of Lucius associates that had barely graduated from Hogwarts. But weak in power did not mean as stupid as these two were. In Severus third year, a new broom called the Comet 31 had come out. It was a big commercial success and he had learned from Jonathan that it had been conceived by one of this smaller schools' alumni.

Lucius exaggerated a sigh.

"Sadly, none of the others agreed with Salazar. Godric Gryffindor, in particular, was firmly against it because he believed family was sacred. Slytherin and Gryffindor had been friends since their youth despite numerous differences in opinion, but this time it was too much for Salazar. They had a big row. Some even say they fought each other with magic over the Muggleborns situation. In the end, Rowena Ravenclaw and Helga Hufflepuff sided with Godric and Salazar retired to his home, abandoning the school he had co-created."

Lucius paused and let his eyes roam the attentive first years, stopping on a few of them including young Severus. Severus now knew Lucius had been making the count of the non-Purebloods among the first years and gauging their reactions.

"Now, Slytherin did not completely abandon his little snakes who needed his guidance more than ever. He gave them rules to protect them."

The eleven years old fretted a little and Lucius gave them a reassuring smile.

"One, we are a family. As such, we stand united in front of adversity no matter the dissensions that may exist inside the family. It means we keep our problems with each other inside the common room. It means we help each other when attacked by strangers."

Young Severus had loved that rule. He had thought he had finally find people he belonged with, other than Lily and Mother.

"Two, be wary of Muggles. I know a few of you are Muggleborns, or even Half-bloods. Knowing what happened to some of my ancestors as well as to several Muggleborns in the upper years, I encourage you to be careful when you go back home and to always carry your wand with you. Also, keep in mind that your family may love you enough to accept you despite your magic but might not be as tolerant with your wizard friends."

Young Severus could only agree with this rule, he knew far too well to avoid his father as much as he could. Moreover, while Lily's family loved her and was very proud of her magic, they had not been so welcoming of Severus and remained cautiously polite with him. Of course, it might have more to do with his social standing than with him being a wizard.

Still, young Severus had been intrigued by the level of care this rule demonstrated for the well-being of the students. During one of their later lessons, Evan explained to him that the wizarding world was very harsh on child abusers because most families only managed to bear one or two children. Children murderers and abusers received the most severe penalty existing in the wizarding world, meaning the kiss of a Dementor that left their body bereft of their soul, to slowly rot away. It was said the Dementors tortured the souls they absorbed until their own death. No wizarding way was known to kill a Dementor, and no one knew how long they lived, apart from the fact that the ministry replaced only a few of them every ten years as one day they disappeared without a trace. No one knew for sure their disappearance equalled with their death so it promised to be an almost eternal torment. Severus was not sure he liked the idea of eternal torment as punishment but he had to admit it was an efficient deterrent for those who were tempted. In addition, any wizard witnessing a child being abused or worst was allowed to use any means, even Unforgivables, to apprehend the perpetrator. Each unforgivable violated a person in a way, Imperius who controlled the person it was used onto, Crucio who made you felt excruciating pain worse than anything possible, and Avada Kedavra that killed without leaving a trace. Yes, young Severus had quickly realised wizards protected their children fiercely. Unfortunately, it did not apply to muggle parents who depended of the muggle law. Severus had asked Evan about Half-bloods and been disappointed. Those living in a wizarding area depended of the wizarding law, those living among Muggles depended of the muggle law.

I am always so lucky, thought Severus wryly.

"Three", said Lucius, "you will always conduct yourself with the proper decorum of a well-born wizard. Those who did not understand what the previous words entailed must find someone to teach them how to behave."

Severus smiled. That rule had forced him to ask Evan for help. He had waited a week to see which of his peers seemed both the more knowledgeable and the less likely to refuse his request. He had been self-conscious, having never asked for help before, and almost turned tail to search a book on proper wizard behaviour. Thankfully Evan had not let him and had profited of his poor attempt to propose him a deal: lessons on wizard behaviour and politics against potions tutoring. Evan had been the one to add Jonathan in the deal, and none of them had regretted it. Severus was very grateful for this rule as he had learned a lot - he sometimes ranted silently against Mother for not having taught him this information that was essential to his survival and ascension in this world - but also because of the two friends he made thanks to it.

"Finally, the fourth rule. The first, second and third years are not to be involved in political games and alliances. If one older year tries to, you must go to a prefect immediately.".

Severus had not understood the rule at the time. It became clear in his fourth year.

Another memory came into view.

Eleven years old Severus was scrupulously if doubtfully following his book potions recipe during his first potion lesson. It was really weird and uncomfortable for him who had always build his potion recipes from scratch. What was more infuriating was that he was certain this recipe could be greatly improved by tweaking a few instructions here and there. Even more maddening, he knew with deep certainty that his recipe from home with different ingredients would work even better and took less time to brew. But he had decided to try a common recipe once to see how it would turn out, and he was sticking to his decision even if it was painful to.

In the end, Slughorn claimed that his potion was perfect, as well as Lily's, but Severus was determined to never again follow anyone else recipe without studying it and improving it beforehand. Indeed, the simple healing burns salve they had made was slightly off-colour comparing to the one he regularly made at home and he knew his own was the right one, even if the professor was too colour-blind or losing his eyesight to realise it.

From then on, Severus either took his home recipe if he had already brewed the potion or created a new one before comparing it with the potion book. He sometimes had to make adjustments because his own recipe used ingredients that were not in the common one and Slughorn would certainly not allow him to use them, but he did manage some improvements by switching the orders the ingredient were added in, putting a different quantity of ingredients than instructed or simply stirring clockwise instead of anticlockwise.

Slughorn never noticed and Severus made a game with Lily to see which recipe would take the less time to make and obtain the better potion. Severus always got top notes but so did Lily who was clearly Slughorn favourite student. It did not matter to the younger Severus as long as his grade was Outstanding. Potions were the subject he loved, but he also was among the top students for every subject except in transfiguration.

Severus smiled, remembering the first time Lucius had graciously taken the time to tutor him after several failed sessions from Jonathan.

It was about two months in the year, and eleven years old Severus was desperately trying to practice turning his matchstick into a needle. Severus was behind all his classmates in transfiguration, on the verge of failing. His class practicals were disastrous; his essays barely got A's. Transfiguration had already been his hardest subject back home. It was the only subject he had remained on Mother basic books and had finished them just before Hogwarts. Mother had never let him practice at home for two reasons. First, the Prince were notorious not to excel in transfiguration and Mother was no exception. She had barely passed her OWL and so had not dared to supervise Severus. Second, transfiguration demanded a fair amount of magic and she had been afraid of Severus depleting his magical core and hurting himself as he was not eleven. As such, young Severus was definitely behind and lost.

Severus watched Lucius observed his younger self from his armchair, obviously debating with himself on whether or not go to help him. After several minutes, Lucius got up and approached the table were a forlorn Severus was reading his book instructions for the umpteen time.

"Having some difficulty?"

Severus flinched a little, berating himself for not having heard the prefect coming. He looked up to the older student to see a genuinely interested look. He had not been aware at the time that his unusual way of preparing for potion classes and its results had been noticed and given him a reputation among his year which had reached Lucius ears. The prefect had been curious to see what an alleged genius could struggle with.

Seeing his last chance to potentially avoid a disaster and finally manage what all his classmates had for several weeks, Severus began talking rapidly and desperately.

"Well, I can't seem to make sense of the transfiguration instructions to change this stick into a needle. The best I have ever managed is a grey stick. It's just I don't understand how those rules make the stick into a needle, and I never manage what I don't understand. Already at home, I only made it through Mother's basic books and I never had the chance to practice then."

Severus stopped, miserably looking at the older student with almost pleading eyes.

It was such a pitiful sight Lucius seated himself.

"Come on, tell me exactly what you do not understand."

They spent two hours together. To Lucius amazement, he had to go as far as fourth year theory to answer Severus questions. The root of the problem was, as Severus said, that he could not do something he did not understand. That was a handicap in a matter as complex as transfiguration were the fundamental rules were introduced progressively during the seven years curriculum, simplified in the first years then with added subtleties from fourth year. Severus asked too many questions that could not be answered with the simplified version. Adding to this that he had never seen something transfigured before coming to Hogwarts, unconsciously making it more difficult to believe it was possible, and that he was -as all Prince- as far from a natural as possible, it was no wonder Severus struggled.

Naturals had an affinity for their subject. Unconsciously, they sensed the magic that came into play during the transformation and knew when it was doing was it should, and when it was not. Lucius had tried to make parallels between Potions and Transfigurations and discovered with amazement that Severus was not only gifted at potions but a natural at it.

" When you transfigure something, you need to recall the rules that apply to what you want to achieve in order to guide your magic along the transfiguration process and not try to force it to do something it cannot. It is in part the same as with potions. You know the reactions between ingredients and from it you deduce their order and your stirring to guide your potion into completion." said Lucius to his attentive pupil.

Young Severus frowned.

"But in potion, if you are attentive enough, you usually sense when you need to stop stirring. And before adding an ingredient, you hold it above your cauldron to sense if it will unbalance the potion."

Lucius gaped at him.

"Severus, the vast majority of people do not sense this, they only follow potions recipes and rules. While your magic must guide the process on transfiguration, it becomes instinctual once you have mastered the concept. It means once you have managed to transform a matchstick into a needle enough times, you do not need to consciously guide your magic anymore because it remembers how to. On the contrary, most wizard do not sense their magic work in potions, it remains unconscious and they only rely on the established rules. I know it is very difficult to awake your magical sense of potions, it is taught during potion apprenticeship but few managed it. It is what makes the difference between the different potion makers. You might achieve Master potion grade I if you are already as advanced."

Severus had been surprised and elated. In potion making, you had the Potioners, working at home like his Mother or owning a shop like apothecaries, for common potions. Then you had Masters potion grade III for the more difficult potions. The Masters potion grade II were mostly researchers that improved known recipes but sometimes brew difficult potions too. Masters potion grade I were the ones who truly invented world changing potions. They were rare and according to Lucius, magical sensing of potion was mandatory for grade I and II.

After this revelation, Young Severus had with difficulty pushed his joy aside to continue the study session. Lucius had explained that Potter was probably a natural in transfiguration as Severus had seen him managed any kind of transfiguration on his first try. It meant he did not have think about guiding his magic as it did what he needed it to unconsciously. Lucius had told him that their year was very impressive as he had only known two naturals, one in Charms, the other in Herbology, in his seventh years at Hogwarts.

As for Severus, it would take a long time and intense study to at least reach his peers level in transfiguration. Lucius explained that Severus would have to study transfiguration concepts from fourth years and above to understand the various kinds of transfiguration he would need to learn from first to third year. Indeed, Professor McGonagall introduced simple transfiguration of every possible kind in the first three years. She deepened their understanding of theory in fourth and fifth years, and for those taking the NEWTS, she had them working from the concepts and rules to create their own transfigurations. If Severus was studious, he would have a very hard time getting passing grades the first three years, but should improve impressively in the years above as he would already understand the more complex theory.

Lucius advised him to spend less time on subjects he breezed through and gave him titles of books he could find in the library that would help him. He insisted on the fact that Severus should not discourage himself as his efforts would not show immediately and not be impressive at first. He also told him not to hesitate to solicit him if the books were not enough.

Severus had thanked his prefect profusely and from then on, Lucius had taken the role of mentor for the young boy, always making time for him when asked. To the delight of Severus, he even spent a few evenings playing chess with Severus or teaching him gobstones on his own initiative.

It was Severus best year ever. He was among the top students for every subject except, obviously, in transfiguration and he firmly decided to buy more books that Lucius had recommended on the subject during summer to improve. Even more important, he now had three friends and a mentor.

Yes, thought the older Severus bitterly, it had been his best year ever. He could hardly remember how happy and innocent he had still been, despite his home life.

Leaving the first year shelves, he went to the second year where a vial presented itself, ready to be seen.


	3. Chapter 2

AN: This chapter was reposted on 08/23/2017 for correction of grammar and punctuations mistakes.

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Young Severus was brewing with his mother. They had as many cauldrons as they dared in the space they used for the laboratory. Mother had not been able to brew as much without Severus here to help her and as she was no master, she could not handle the hardest but most expensive potions. Thankfully she had money on the side from the prior years but she had to be more careful than ever with her expenses. Her emergency stash has dwindled and now they had to gain enough this summer to last through his second school year.

Severus remembered she had allowed him to brew more complex potions this summer but had shortened his experiments periods as they could not waste ingredients and needed to brew potions that would earn money. She had not even been sure she could afford the transfiguration books Lucius had recommended, even second hand, but the problem had resolved itself when Lucius' eagle deposited the books as a late birthday gift from his mentor -his birthday was in April but Lucius had not known it at the time.

Young Severus had been over the moon when he received the gift. He had feared Lucius would forget all about him after his graduation but the gesture had proven the contrary.

Severus smiled. Lucius and he had kept in touch regularly since then. Lucius offered him books to help with his studies or rare potions books, Severus gifted Lucius with potions experiments, the only gifts he could afford and be proud of. Lily, Evan and Jonathan also received potions experiments for their birthdays and Christmas but Severus took great pains not to offer the same potion to any of them, and to give them one they would enjoy using.

Severus sighed wistfully.

He had spent the entire summer brewing or in the park with Lily. His slytherin friends had written him and they had corresponded a few times. They had invited him to spend a week at their home but he had declined, knowing Mother needed him to brew for her. The invitations had warmed him and he vowed to go next year if they invited him again.

He had barely seen his father who had spent most of his time away from home. All in all, it had been a good summer.

The difficulties had begun with his return to Hogwarts.

Money being tight, Severus had taken his mother's books again but also wore second hand clothes. Lily, Evan and Jonathan had said nothing of it, but he heard a few derogatory comments from other students he made his best to ignore.

It was the year pranks from the Marauders began to more frequently target him. Severus sneered. The rude glasses guy from the train in first year had been James Potter, his acolyte being Sirius Black. Both had been sorted in Gryffindor - an utter surprise for Black as he learned from Evan that the family was notorious for being Slytherins and slightly mad - where they had found two other idiots, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, to form the Marauders, a "pranksters" group. During first year, Severus had barely registered them as their pranks had been innocuous and rarely concerned him. He had suffered them a few times but always among others. Second year had been different as he had often been on his own.

A memory slammed into view. Young Severus was soaked. The Marauders had just spelled water balloons to erupt above him "in an effort to make him more presentable, dixit the pranksters".

Since his return to Hogwarts, they had been among the ones mocking his poor clothes - except Lupin whose clothes, while not as bad as Severus', were far from new- as well as his oily hair. Sadly for Severus, a summer brewing potions and not enough money to buy a shampoo that would clean the potions residues from his hair coupled with the beginning of puberty had left his hair in a sorry state. Mother had refused to have him cut it as long hair was traditional among Purebloods, to be breaded when he came of age.

The humiliation hurt but it was nothing compared to the damage done to his charms book. His book was dripping ink and water, its protective charm long worn out and never reapplied by Mother. For the first time in a long long while, Severus was near tears as he knew he could not afford to buy another one.

The Marauders were laughing at their prank along with several other students when Potter suddenly exclaimed:

"Hey, isn't Snape crying?"

"Are you sure it's not the shower he just took?" replied Sirius coming closer to Severus to have a better look.

"No, no," crowed Pettigrew, "he is so crying like a girl."

" Oh, poor little snivelling Snape is crying like a girl over a book", laughed Black. A glint appeared in his eyes and he smirked.

"Guys, I just got a sudden bout of inspiration. From now on, this poor crying little Snapey will be snivelly Snape!"

Pettigrew and Potter sniggered.

" No no Sirius, you got it wrong," laughed Potter. "He now is Snivellus Snape!"

They all laughed out loud, other students joining them even if Severus now noticed Lupin seemed to force himself. Patting themselves in the back for their good word, they left young Severus to try and find a way to salvage his book, while struggling not to cry openly.

From then on, the Marauders had called him by that hated name. It infuriated Severus and they knew it, which was the all point. Lily had been furious but her rants could not undo the damages already done.

Despite the pranks and the other students, Severus was happy. He ignored those as best as he could and enjoyed his three friends as well as his studies. He was also in high spirit because he was beginning to feel a pull between his wand and himself that could only be a bond. The pull was different from when he brewed potions, it felt like it connected deep within himself, with his magical core he theorized. He also noticed he had better control of his spells, and managed to dose the intensity he wanted to put into them more easily. Flitwick had even commended him several times for well attuned charms. It did not help with transfiguration but Severus kept studying following Lucius advice. He was still the last of his year but he was not failing, even if he was on a thin line between passing and failing.

Another memory shimmed into view and Severus shivered. It was the first time he had heard about Him. Who could have guessed the changes he would bring to the Wizarding world in barely four years?

Young Severus was in his common room, doing his transfiguration homework with Jonathan as Lily had told him she needed to help one of her friend with charms and could not meet him in the library as usual. They had been about halfway to their second year and Lily had begun to spend more time with her others Gryffindor friends but they still saw each other quite a lot and it gave Severus more time to spend with Evan and Jonathan so at the time, he had thought they had found the balance between all their friends. He snorted and returned his attention to the memory, where Evan had just sat with his two friends, excited.

"Have you heard the news?"

"I don't think so but I'm sure we will soon" drawled Severus.

Jonathan playfully attempted to swat him, which he evaded gracefully. "Come on Severus, I'm sure Evan would not waste our time with useless gossips and you know you want to know what he has to share".

Rolling his eyes, young Severus made a gesture toward Evan to impart the so important news.

"Remember how Father is always railing against the ministry because they do so much for the Muggleborns to the detriment of us pureblood and without asking for anything in exchange? How he keeps saying it is high time that someone stands up to stop this nonsense?"

Both boys nodded.

The current Minister of Magic, Minister Birkins, was the leader of a powerful pro-Muggleborns movement which aimed to compensate Muggleborns for all their perceived disadvantages comparing to Purebloods. Minister Birkins was in his second mandate and had decided to go further in his improvement of the Muggleborns situation, confirmed in his actions by his re-election. It irked several Purebloods, especially those from à line old enough they had one or two ancestors that had been burned for sorcery by Muggles. Several came from Slytherin and even had scions in it, like Evans' or Jonathan's father. When you knew Slytherin's history, it was no wonder the slytherin Purebloods did not see eye to eye with the current ministry politic.

Two measures voted during Severus' first year had stood out for him as he had found them sensible with the exception that nobody had thought about the Half-bloods.

Truly, Severus was part of a minority nobody cared about, nothing new here. Half-bloods were not common because Muggleborns tended to marry between themselves. Sometimes they would marry with a pureblood from lesser families, almost never into the oldest lines as the Black or the Malfoys and not much more with Muggles. Purebloods mainly married between themselves, sometimes accepting a Muggleborn among them but never a Muggle. The few times it had happened could be counted on Severus hands from what Evan had told him, and it had always ended by the disinheritance or the death of the pureblood daring to tempt it.

To Severus, it seemed logical that marrying someone who did not have the same capacities as yourself was asking for disaster, his parents were the living proof of it. He could only approve of wizards staying between themselves. Of course, Muggleborns should be able to see their Muggle relatives but aside from that, he did not see the point for wizards to have contacts with the muggle world - except for obtaining some ingredients for his potions or audio tapes of some muggle music bands that where quite good. In Severus experience, brief contacts with the muggle world could be highly beneficial to a wizard but lasting ones could only lead to jealousy and heartache in the end. Hell, Lily's own muggle sister Petunia was jealous of her sister's powers and becoming nastier to Lily with each passing day.

The two ministry proposals that had been voted in his first year and had caught his attentions were focused on money and power.

First, the currency rate between pounds and galleons was highly disadvantageous for Muggleborns, as one galleon was worth five pounds. Buying all the materials necessary for a year at Hogwarts required a fair number of galleons for a wizarding family but was considered to be a worthy investment. For Muggles, it was a lot of pounds to spend when they knew next to nothing of the prospective future it would offer their children. To counterbalance this, a fund was created to provide Muggleborns with what was estimated to be the cost of one year at Hogwarts. Every year a Muggleborn studied at Hogwarts, he received this stipend.

Of course, nobody had thought about the few Half-bloods students. All of them had at least one parent working in the muggle world, which meant at least half of their parents' income was in pounds. As it was, the fact that Mother was paid in galleons for her potions had made it possible for her to run the house and put some money aside while Severus had been home-schooled. Now she had to pay for his Hogwarts material and sold less potions without her son to help with the brewing, she had to be much more careful about her expenses as he had seen during summer, especially with his father taking his fair share of this income. To this day, Severus still did not understand why she had not put her money in a Gringott account, safely away from her husband greedy hands.

Secondly, the ministry had decided to make several places available to underage Muggleborns for magical practice during the different holidays.

Underage wizards were in theory not allowed to practice magic outside of school. In reality, the ministry was far more interested in preventing magic to be noticed by Muggles and did not have the man power to watch over all underage magical children.

So, the ministry surveillance consisted in looking for magic in muggle areas, then check if the magic had been performed by an underage or not, and if it had been noticed or not by the Muggles. As it was, a five-year-old could use a wand in Hogsmead without worries because it was a magical community whereas a lone Muggleborn surrounded by muggle houses would be caught right away.

Purebloods benefited from this as they lived in magical areas. Pureblood children could practice without fear, giving them a seemingly unfair advantage over Muggleborns. The ministry had sought to remedy this, hence the places where practice was allowed under the supervision of one of the ministry officials.

Again, Half-bloods had been forgotten. Nobody had thought that some lived in a muggle area because nobody at the ministry could imagine living in the muggle world instead of the wizarding one if given the opportunity. They forgot that one of the parents was obviously a Muggle and might not be so keen to live among people harnessing powers he had not.

Severus had been very frustrated, especially when during the summer, Lily had proposed they went to one to practice and he had had to admit he was not allowed there.

In his memory, Evan smiled and with a conspirator air said:

" Father has met this bloke that came back from several years of travelling. His name his Lord Voldemort and apparently, he plans on forming an opposition group to the ministry. He said that the ministry gives far too much to the Muggleborns whose parents are not even taxed as we are. He said that for now, the ministry is only focusing on muggleborn students but that soon they will propose laws in favour of adult ones. He said he heard them talking about quotas of Muggleborns to be admitted in post-Hogwarts curriculum, as well as reserving some habitations for them in the most wanted magical areas. He also said they are trying to undermine Purebloods. You just need to look at what they are putting into place for Muggleborns while refusing Lord Malfoy proposal. This Lord Voldemort said his proposal would have achieved a lot more for Muggleborns than the ministry's measures while uniting Purebloods and Muggleborns."

About two years before Severus' first year, Lord Abraxas Malfoy had proposed to have every Muggleborns and Half-bloods sponsored by a wizard who came from a wizarding family of at least three generations in order to be taught about the wizarding world and its traditions. Sponsorship would begin as soon as the child magic was detected. It would imply to put into place a list of volunteer sponsors, after checking all of them were law abiding citizen and suited to the task of introducing Muggles to magic. It would also mean paying those volunteers for their work, even if Lord Malfoy had included in his proposal a list of potential sponsors who were willing to be volunteers. In exchange, it would protect Muggleborns children and help them integrate their new world. It was close to Slytherin's proposal but factored in the sensibility of those believing in family before everything else. All Slytherins had been disappointed when it was rejected, and according to Jonathan's father, they had not been the only ones.

"Father is waiting to see how it goes but it seems that at least the Malfoys are also interested. "

Young Severus knew - thanks to his political lessons with his friends - that the Malfoys being interested meant that this Lord Voldemort had potential. Of course, they would have to wait and see as you did not build Roma in a day, but changes might well happen before they left Hogwarts.

Evan turned to Severus, telling him eagerly:

" You will love this Severus. This Lord also said that Half-bloods children were forgotten too often enough and that, as it could never end well between Wizards and Muggles; it was our duty to watch out for them and take them in if needed, to help their magical inheritance flourish. Father said Lord Malfoy already had a candidate in mind to test a sponsorship, recommended by his son Lucius.

Severus flushed.

"I don't think he was talking about me Evan."

"Come on Severus," said Jonathan, "Lucius tutored you in transfiguration and is keeping in touch with you even though he graduated last year. He was dead impressed by your potions skills and rightly so. You told us he loved your potion experiment gift, the one that allowed him to grow Anadenanthera peregrinain Malfoy Manor gardens to woo Narcissa Black when it's only supposed to grow in South America. He even gave you a gift for your birthday. I don't see who else he could have recommended to his father "

"Think about it, Severus." Said Evan excitedly, "with a sponsorship from Lord Malfoy, you could become the greatest potion master of all times!"

"Hmm, Evan, I think you're a little too enthusiastic" said Severus. "To become a potion Master grade 3 would already be an enormous achievement for me."

"Severus!" Scolded Evan, "You need to stop thinking so low of yourself. You're the best of our year"

"Not in transfiguration", interjected Severus.

"But you will be good eventually," continued Evan imperturbable. "Think of all you could do. I'm sure if you keep on studying like you do, you could even obtain several masteries together."

"Come on Evan, I'm only this good because Mother taught me at home some of the first and second year stuff. It won't be the same next year."

Jonathan snorted.

"So did we Severus, as every Pureblood who attends Hogwarts. And don't tell me you're not still studying in advance. I'm pretty sure you could take your potion OWL now and pass."

The three friends continued bickering merrily, and the older Severus smile longingly. His two friends had believed in him so much even then. Now that he had taken the exam, he knew he indeed could have passed it in second year. Severus sighed. He did this a lot lately he reflected. Time to go to third year, when their world had begun to change...


	4. Chapter 3

Thanks to you who took the time to follow and review this story :)

Reviews and constructive criticisms are always welcome.

AN: This chapter was reposted on 08/23/2017 for correction of grammar and punctuations mistakes.

* * *

Summer had been hard on Severus. He had been surprised to receive an owl minutes before boarding the Hogwarts express telling him he would have to go back home on his own. Mother usually came for him, even if they took the bus to go back home, so they could talk about his year without disturbance from his father.

When he arrived home, he found Mother much too thin and sporting bruises of different shades. Her economies had not lasted the year, and with Father taking more and more from her potions revenues, she had barely scraped by the last two months to feed his father and herself. Father hit her more frequently because of this even as he ate his fill, leaving her the crumbs.

During summer, Father often ranted about Severus not earning his share but still going to his special expensive school. It made Severus fumed as his father had still not found another work and squandered the money his wife and son had earned. He sometimes dreamed of getting back at his father but knew he was no match physically. He learned it bitterly when he tried a few times to intervene when his father hit his mother and ended with a battered body, Mother covering in a corner. She did not dare argue any-more and Severus did not dare use potions on his father for fear of what he would do to them afterwards. As much as he loathed him then, he could not bring himself to dose Father with a definitive potion.

Instead, Severus began working on stronger and more difficult healing potions. They normally required expensive ingredients but he was determined to create one he could brew in quantity for Mother. Potions had always been a pleasure but this summer, they became a necessity. Mother and he brewed a lot, Severus handling the most difficult potions to let Mother rest and relax as much as she was able to. Severus asked her once why she had not used magic on her husband and was horrified to learn that during one of his drinking fit, Father had managed to break her wand when Mother had tried to defend herself. Since then she was at his mercy, Father knew her pride would not let her ask for help. It also meant she had to do the menial tasks the muggle way, cutting into her brewing periods.

By the end of July, Severus had earned enough money for the family to have proper meals while giving Father enough to make him happy, thus lessening the beatings. Most of his August income went to Mother's secret stash to help her when he returned to Hogwarts. Severus' second year clothes still fit so he sadly forwent the purchase of newest ones and only bought the strict minimum required on his Hogwarts' list, mainly his electives books because his were not the same as Mother's. Following Lucius advice, Severus was taking Arithmancy, care of magical creatures and runes. All three could be applied to potions: for example, you could use runes to enhance one, Arithmancy could help determine when to harvest an ingredient so that it would be the most effective for one particular potion and care of magical creatures could help obtain body fluids and parts from creatures without risking evisceration or another painful death.

Adding to Severus depressing house situation was Lily's absence. He had already been disappointed when she did not share his train compartment for the ride back home at the end of the year. Then she spent half of summer at another friend house so he could not escape and see her as much as usual. He went to the park on his own a few times but ended up brooding.

His only respite came from Jonathan's and Evan's letters. He had again not been able to visit them, fearing for Mother. Instead, they wrote to each other regularly. He did not know how they managed it, but their owls always delivered their letters when Father was not around and when he had written his reply, he only needed to open his room's window to have them come in.

Severus sometimes longed for an owl of his own - or any pet in truth - but knew he would have to wait until he had a proper work after graduation to afford one.

His friends' letters kept him apprised of any important news or rumours concerning the Wizarding World. Severus was grateful; especially when it became clear the state of wizarding politics was evolving quickly.

 _Hi Severus,_

 _I hope you are enjoying your summer and not studying too hard, Jonathan told me to remind you we have school for this!_

 _I am still in France with Aunt Amelia and the cousins but Father came back to England in haste. From what I gathered, Lord Voldemort is going to depose a demand for a vote of no confidence. Father said he had enough support, mainly among the older Pureblood lines, to win it and destitute the current Minister of magic, which means new elections next year. Father said the calendar was moving faster than predicted because of the latest propositions and counter-propositions from the Ministry and Lord Voldemort._

 _Lord Voldemort made several proposals that were all refused by the ministry but which were very popular, among Purebloods in particular. First, he proposed to have the same rules applied to Muggles as Wizards concerning children, meaning muggle parents would depend from wizarding law for everything concerning their kids. To complement this, he renewed the demand from Lord Malfoy to have Purebloods sponsor Muggleborns and Half-bloods. I can tell you Father was enthusiast and he began meeting other Head of Pureblood Houses more frequently from then on. Lord Voldemort submitted another proposal that raised an uproar in the political spheres. I don't know what you would think of it but he proposed to improve creatures' rights. He still wants them to register as they do now but in return, the Ministry would help them find a job. They would propose to the potential employers the means to be safe: for example, they would freely provide potions that lessen Veelas, Faes or Vampires effects on the human minds, or they would give some fund support in exchange of a werewolf not working the three days of the full moons. Lord Voldemort even proposed to fund safe houses for the working werewolves where they would be locked away from potential victims but also safe from hunters._

 _You know the Ministry stance on this; they were very much against it and even added Vampires to the list of creatures that need to register with the ministry. They said it was because all creatures that can pass for humans must be known, in order to protect them from others and to protect others from them if needed. Werewolves, Veelas, Elves and Faes amongst others were already on the list but Vampires had managed to escape it thanks to their economical assets and their political allies. It was not enough this time and now, it is rumoured their clan leader is supporting Voldemort on his petition for the Minister removal._

 _In the same vein, the Ministry also refused a proposal by Tom Riddles who wanted to allow creatures to work without having to inform their employer of their condition._

 _I think what finally made the Purebloods rally behind Lord Voldemort for the motion of no confidence was the Ministry proposition to create a magic school for Muggleborns between 6 and 11 to prepare them for Hogwarts. As you know, Purebloods are actually taught at home by tutors or family members, as you were. So the Ministry do not want to allow Purebloods or Half-bloods in it as it would cost too much and say that we have the means to teach our offspring. Father was livid, he ranted and shouted that we would pay for this school but never be allowed to attend it. He even broke Grand-Mother's favourite vase but thankfully, we managed to reparo it, also it is a bit tilted now._

 _No more news for now, but I think this year will be important for us on many points. Do not forget to write back because you are too caught up in your cauldrons._

 _Later_

 _Evan_

This letter, and others that followed in the same vein, had set high hopes for Severus who envisioned his father subdued by wizards and taken to prison, leaving Mother and himself happily together. This Lord Voldemort had seemed more and more admirable, with his willingness to fight for those who could not defend themselves, even remembering Half-bloods in his proposals.

Yes, Severus knew you needed to be cautious of people that offered you what you dreamed of. Nonetheless, he did not discern any catch for now and allowed himself to dream when he was alone at night.

When the time came for Severus to leave for Hogwarts, he was relieved but tired and concerned for Mother. He stocked her with his strongest healing potion and wowed to find a way to help her from Hogwarts. He went to King's cross station on his own, not wanting Mother to risk reprisal when she came back home.

As soon as first week, Severus asked Slughorn for a private place to brew and after several tests, he obtained it. When his workload allowed it, he brewed potions he sent to Mother to sell. Jonathan and Evan had to insist several times for him to take breaks and enjoy himself. They even took turns checking he was in bed at eleven - it did not prevent Severus from studying in bed but it was harder to resist sleep in the comfortable four-poster bed than in a chair or on the floor. Between the new electives, transfiguration, his other schoolwork and his Mother's potions, Severus was clearly stretched thin and his temper - which had never been the nicest - was suffering from it.

To make it worst, Severus third year at Hogwarts was a bad re-enacting of his second year. The state of his clothes and hair was worst. The pranks the Marauders pulled on him were worst, often humiliating and bordering on cruel. He had more difficulty to ignore them in his sullenness and tiredness. Severus retaliated several times with nasty curses bordering on Dark Arts he had studied in Mother's books and had the satisfaction of gaining the upper hand several times, especially as Jonathan and Evan took to walking with him almost everywhere when they noticed he was being targeted.

The pranks hurt even more because Lily, his first staunch supporter, had several times scolded him for hurting the Marauders in defence from a prank instead of going to a teacher.

"Come on Sev, they only changed your robe in pink, you did not need to break Sirius' arm!" exclaimed Lily.

"You know I did not mean it" said Severus defensively.

"But you knew the spell you used could hurt him, don't deny it! And I don't even know that spell, where did you find it?"

"It was in one of Mother's books," replied Severus, carefully omitting it was a dark spell according to the Ministry. Mother had warned him to be careful with it. It was meant to hurt an enemy as much as he had intended to hurt you, but as a sacrifice it made you feel the pain you inflicted to your victim. Severus had thought it worthwhile in this case, but he had been surprised Black had wanted to hurt him that much. The pain had been intense but brief, and nothing more than what Father had already inflicted him. At least, he had had the satisfaction of making Black yell.

"And I was only defending myself, why are you always on their side?" he asked angrily, hurt by her lack of concern for him.

"Sev, they only pranked you and you attacked them," said Lily. "Why can't you go to a teacher or prank them back instead of hurting them?"

"Because you think they don't hurt me," exploded Severus. "It's not just a prank when every day, they either pour a liquid over me, ridicule me by changing my clothes or cast what you call inoffensive spells on me to make my voice higher, my toes bigger or what else... And the teachers don't care, most give them a lecture and a pat on the heads for a well thought out prank and a clever use of magic."

He was breathing so hard his ears were ringing.

"They even sabotaged some of my transfiguration practicals because they know it's my weakest subject." he added bitterly.

"You are exaggerating Sev," said Lily. "They have not put spells on you like that since September, and they prank everyone in good fun. I really don't see why they would sabotage your transfiguration practicals as you're last in our year. It's true they ruined your book last year but they thought it had a protective charm on it like every other schoolbook."

Severus looked at her, not comprehending why she defended them so fiercely and hurt by her matter-of-factly dismissing the sabotaging of his hard work because anyway he was not good at it. In truth, his efforts were beginning to pay. He was still among the last but improving and more importantly, he was beginning to make sense of the subject in its totality.

Not wanting to show how much he hurt because of her words, he said in his best icy voice:

"You do not see them cast spells on me anymore because I learned several protective charms that are usually enough to deflect their spells. I had to place protective charms on all my belongings to prevent them from ruining or stealing them. I am their favorite target and you don't care. Now go have fun with your precious Marauders and leave me alone"

He would have run, if not for his pride. He contented himself with quickly walking away to the lake, keeping his tears inside by thinking about Father. There he sat, brooding over his sorry life and plotting his revenge on the four boys that made his life at school hell.

After what felt like hours, someone sat beside him.

"Sev, I'm sorry."

He did not want to look at Lily. She was giving him up for them.

"Sev, it's just... I don't recognize you this year. You are so execrable, you get angry at any little thing and you almost only say snide and hurtful remarks... I worry you know."

The older Severus sighed wistfully. He had been so in awe of Lily, his first friend, that he had curbed his most sarcastic, impatient and revengeful tendencies around her. In third year, he had not been able to, even for her, as he had relied mostly on instinct to go through his days in a perpetual state of tiredness and aggressiveness. Lily had been shocked because she had never really seen this side of him while Evan and Jonathan had known and guessed more about him before. He supposed Slytherins were more used to looking behind the mask...And they were greatly amused by his dark sense of humour.

After this scene, Severus was still partnered with Lily in potions and they studied together from time to time, but he felt her drift away.

It had not helped that their first visit to Hagrid after the dispute went wrong because he overreacted.

"Come on Sev, we visit Hagrid together every month, you know he will be disappointed if you don't come" whined Lily.

Severus looked at her, torn.

"Lily, I need to brew for Mother and I still have an essay for Arithmancy"

"It's due next week Sev, you have time! And you need some fresh air instead of remaining copped up in your lab. " said Lily firmly.

It was the first time she had come to him to do something fun since their arguing, so Severus let himself be tempted. Plus, he genuinely liked Hagrid even if he remained cautious around the huge man who did not know his strength.

"Alright, let's go, but we won't stay too late."

"Yes!" Shouted Lily.

She eagerly took his hand to drag him to Hagrid, making his heart flutter.

They were almost there when they heard a deep bark. Looking in the direction of the sound, they saw a big dog running toward them. Lily yelped while Severus reacted and cursed the wild animal. It stopped and crumpled, whining in pain, just when Hagrid arrived shouting:

"Down Fang, don't scare the kids away Boy".

Hagrid stopped when he saw the scene then ran to Fang, worriedly looking him over. Severus realized he had just hurt the gatekeeper's pet - honestly, he should have known- and awkwardly came closer to the beast with Lily.

"Hagrid, I'm sorry. I thought it was attacking us."

Hagrid sniffled.

"Of course he would not, he just wanted to play, he's a young pup you know."

Severus shuffled his feet uncomfortably.

"I can heal him with the counter-curse if you let me".

Hagrid looked him in the eyes then nodded slowly.

Severus took his wand, muttering the incantation. At once, the dog stood up and went to hide behind Hagrid fearfully.

"Thank you Severus. I'm sorry kids, but I think it would be better if I took care of Fang now, to reassure him."

"Of course Hagrid," said Lily quickly. "We understand. And we're really sorry."

He smiled and looked at Severus sadly.

"Severus, I know you did not mean to hurt him, you're a good boy. Come back later, and I will make sure to introduce the both of you properly."

Severus gave him a grateful little smile.

But Severus never went back. Lily had been angry at him for hurting another innocent, giving him the cold shoulder for several days, and he had been so ashamed he had not dared go back to Hagrid's on his own. Then it was too late to go, or so he felt. Now when they ran into each other, they were both awkward and ill at ease.

Following the incident, Lily began spending more time with Lupin. She had told Severus he was a nice, quiet and shy guy, and a very good studying partner who had a lot more patience than Severus. When Severus took offence on him belonging to the group that targeted him again and again, she told him Remus was not like the other three and repeated that anyway, it was only pranks.

Severus seethed at this and took to watching Lupin as much as he did Potter and Black, the worst of the Marauders in his mind. He observed that Lupin got sick a few days every month, often missing classes for at least two days during this time. He had known he was sickly but had not realized it happened so often. It aroused his suspicion because it just could not be natural and in his spare time - rare as it was - he began searching for the cause of this illness.

Fifteen years old Severus shivered. If he had known what would happen when he began analysing Lupin... He still had nightmares about it, even if Occlumency helped.

The end of third year was marked by the election for minister of Magic, the vote of no confidence having been obtained in October. The school had been buzzing, the older years taking a keen interest in it and Slytherin impatiently hoping for Lord Voldemort election as Minister of Magic. Many pureblood Head of Houses had aligned themselves with him among the four houses, and it gave life to many passionate debates. Muggleborns were of two minds about it: some liked the idea of the sponsorship, others like Lily thought it would give too much power to the Purebloods by formatting the young Muggleborns' minds before there were old enough to have their own opinion. Personally, Severus thought most of the Hogwarts student had no mind of their own from first to seven year so it would be no loss. He also admitted deep within himself that he would have loved to have a sponsor to escape his home life more than he had been able to.

Severus sometimes caught himself imagining his life under Lord Abraxas Malfoy sponsorship, researching and practicing magic as much as he wanted to, exploring the magical world, meeting with Lucius and his wizard friends during the holidays without fear of his father ... Each time he ruthlessly squashed these thoughts but they were traitorous in the hope they offered and sneaked on him when he was not expected it.

To Severus utter disappointment, Lord Voldemort lost the elections for Minister of Magic by a few voices. Minister Birkins was re-elected but many whispered accusations of cheating. Lord Voldemort asked for an inquisition on the vote but was denied by the Wizengamot, presided by Hogwarts' Headmaster. Some students reported rumours of several riots in London to protest against this decision but the Daily prophet made no mention of it and there was no announcement from the Ministry on the matter. Severus left Hogwarts disabused, like most of Lord Voldemort supporters, and concerned about the state he would find Mother in this time.

Severus sighed. The lost elections were the beginning of tensions in school. It started with the Marauders and a few others mocking Lord Voldemort's defeat and baiting the students known to support his ideas. Students from all houses had spoken in his favour but the mockery was concentrated on slytherin students because Lord Voldemort had revealed in an interview that he had been sorted in Slytherin and was very proud of it. In the same interview, he had made the apology of ambition and cunning, the two main traits of any Slytherin according to him. The brave Gryffindors considered it more like flaws and the well-known rivalry between the two houses began to go beyond the will to win the House cup. Severus had thought it lucky that school ended only two weeks after the elections and that Ravenclaw won the cup - in part thanks to the loss of point from both Gryffindor and Slytherin for insults and pranks on each other during these last two weeks. It had meant going back home before the hostilities went too far.

Severus snorted. It could never be that simple.

Changing shelves, he went on fourth year.


	5. Chapter 4 Part1

Thank you to all of you who took the time to review, follow and favourite my story.

It is still unbetaed, do not hesitate to point out mistakes.

Reviews and constructive criticism are always welcomed.

AN: This chapter was reposted on 08/23/2017 for correction of grammar and punctuations mistakes.

* * *

The beginning of summer went more or less like the previous one. Mother was thinner, Father was drunker and Severus was more sullen. He brewed as much as he could, Mother now only managing the simplest potions. His Hogwarts' potions had not been enough to support his parents through the year, in part because Mother had not managed as much potions as the previous years, and again the last two months had been hard on her.

However, Lily was here and it made all the difference. The hostilities of the last two weeks of their third year had been a benediction for their friendship. Lily believed in the right of having your own political opinion and had disagreed openly with most Gryffindors attitude toward Lord Voldemort's supporters. She had kept reminding them they were only students and that it was no crime to have differences of opinion as long as it did not hurt anyone, but her protests had fallen into dead ears. As a result, she had spent most of the last school week with Severus, Jonathan and Evan, and had even stayed in their train compartment during the ride back home.

To Severus delight, it remained the same in summer. They snatched moments together and talked as much as they used to. Lily briefly broached the subject of his short temper but without the Marauders constant harassment, he was a lot better so she quickly let the matter drop.

At the end of July, Severus received an edition of the Daily Prophets from Evan that both concerned and excited him. An interview from Lord Voldemort was on the front page and his declarations were as provoking as they were true, from Severus point of view. However, he doubted everyone would see it this way, especially the idiot Gryffindors, with Black and Potter on the top.

 _Shocking declaration from the loser of the last Ministry of Magic election, Lord Voldemort:_

 _Lord Voldemort obviously took his close defeat as well as the following denied inquiry to heart. Today, he is hardening the tone._

 _Reporter: Lord Voldemort, your demand of inquiry concerning potential cheating during the votes was rejected by the Wizengamot, led by your former transfiguration professor. Does it feel like treason?_

 _Lord Voldemort: Of course it does. I thought Headmaster Dumbledore would plead in my favour as he knows I do not make accusations of this importance lightly. To me, it is the proof that the entire government is corrupted, the ministry as well as the justice instances. The pro-Muggleborns movement which Minister Birkins represents has taken hold of many key positions in our government. They do not represent the majority of the wizarding population but they have the power to do what they want, even compromising an election._

 _Reporter: Those are grave accusations. Do you have tangible proves?_

Lord Voldemort: _I think the way the elections happened is proof enough. It shows that today Muggleborns cannot be trusted. Look at the actual ministry; they only care about their own sort. They know that Muggles are tormenting magical children but the muggleborn Minister doesn't want to act. I think they find it normal because of their upbringing. They were not taught like us that children are precious._

 _Also, due to their upbringing, Muggleborns are afraid of creatures and want to exterminate them. They began by having them all register, they restricted their possibility of employment by having them tell their potential employer they are different without offering ways to compensate for this._

 _To save our way of life, our culture, and to protect our children, I propose to integrate Muggleborns to the wizarding world from birth by taking them from their family and having them adopted by a wizard family. You should know Muggleborns keep less and less contacts with the muggle world as they grow older. Moreover, I do not want to allow Half-bloods to be raised in the muggle world. Most of them are abused by their family and we can do nothing because of our laws and because of our pro-Muggleborns current ministry._

 _Honestly, I think we should look up to the old Purebloods lines as an example and learn from them. I myself descend from Slytherin and his story helped me clear my vision of our world._

 _Reporter: You claim to descend from your own House founder. It is a claim that can bring you power if it is the truth. Do you have a family tapestry or Gringott's documents to prove it?_

 _Lord Voldemort: I will not tell you more for now, except that I possess a family heirloom as well as specific magical traits related to Salazar._

 _Reporter: Obviously, I won't know more today, but you certainly aroused my curiosity. Thank you, Lord Voldemort, for your honest answers and for clearly caring about all wizard children. I think you gave our readers much food for thoughts._

 _Lord Voldemort: It was my pleasure and I hope your readers will think on the information I gave them._

 _This was the first interview from Lord Voldemort after his defeat. We are as eager to hear more from him as you, dear readers, must be after these declarations. Keep reading the Daily Prophet to know more soon._

As Severus had thought, Lily was angry the next time they met and she confronted him about Lord Voldemort's declarations.

"Severus Snape!"

Severus winced internally, hearing the shout.

"Hello Lily. How are you this fine afternoon?"

"Do not play with me Sev. You supported this guy and now he's saying Muggleborns should be ripped from their family at birth. Who does he think he is? I told you he wanted to eliminate any wizard connections with Muggles. He wants us all to think that Wizards are better than Muggles. You'll see, soon he will propose to enslave Muggles to serve Wizards or worse! How can you support him?!"

Severus raised his hands in a gesture of appeasement.

"Come on Lily, you misread his words. Wait before shouting again, let me explain."

He took a deep breath, recollecting the speech he had worked on since he had read the interview to convince Lily of the Lord best intentions.

"First, you need to know the real story of Salazar Slytherin in order to understand where his intentions come from."

Severus launched himself in the retelling of the founder's story as he had heard it in his first year, insisting on Salazar's reasoning for maintaining a distance between the two worlds.

"You see Lily, I don't think the situation has changed much. We would not be burnt at stakes, but I'm sure we would be caged in a laboratory for mad scientists to experiment and dissect." said Severus earnestly. He needed her to understand and approve this.

"Let's be honest, Lily. Even the best wizard would not last long on his own against several trained Muggles."

They did not even need to be trained. His father had disarmed Mother easily enough.

He watched her intently while she digested the information in silence. She sighed and he felt his stomach drop.

"Sev, I can understand why it would appeal to you. I'm not totally oblivious, I know your home life is not perfect even if you never talk about it. But you must keep in minds your case is not the rule. Look at me, my family is great with magic. I had Hogwarts' friends at home for the holidays and even spent time to theirs. Mum and Dad are proud of me."

"What about Petunia?" blurted Severus.

Lily frowned a little.

"Well, you know she's jealous because she does not have magic but she would never hurt me."

Severus did not say anything, recalling the times Lily had come crying because of Petunia jealousy. You did not need to hit someone to hurt him; he knew it all too well.

"The point is, Severus, that you cannot take a child from his family in the hypothetical case they will hurt him. Muggles cannot be guilty because of what their ancestors did. I also stand my point that it sounds like this Lord Voldemort wants to impose Slytherin's way of thinking to us."

Severus shrugged.

"Why would it be so bad? At least, the children would be safe."

"Sev," said Lily compassionately, "I agree something should be done to protect children hurt by their family, but not this way. I could not stand to live in a world like this."

"Lily, you know he was less extreme when he presented himself to the election. I think he wants to provoke people because of the cheating that happened and the Wizengamot reaction. He only wants the best for the Wizarding world and I'm sure he would be good for all of us."

Lily huffed.

"He did not give any proof of this cheating."

"Because the inquiry was denied!" exclaimed Severus.

Taking a deep breath, he looked her in the eyes.

"Lily, you know I would never hurt you. And I would never support someone who would want to hurt you. Trust me on this."

She sighed.

"I know you would not hurt me Sev., at least not on purpose." She paused. "But he could be deceiving you, you know. Who says his last declarations are not what he really thinks?"

They remain in silence several minutes, each lost in thoughts. Severus had to admit Lily had a point. He had already thought of it but so far, he did not see how Lord Voldemort could be worst for him than the current Minister.

"Well," said Lily. "Let's agree to disagree for now and we'll see how it goes, right?"

Severus smiled slightly. It was more than he had hoped for.

"It's a deal."

Lily smiled back at him, making the sun shine brighter.

"Now Severus. We need to talk about the Marauders. Don't scowl like this. You need to stay calm and to find another way to riposte than cursing them with dark spells."

"I do not use dark magic" protested Severus.

Lily looked at him pointedly.

"I looked up the one spell I heard you say, Sev, the one which broke Sirius' arm, and it is classified as dark. Yes, you already explained about your mother teachings. I've had time to think about it and from what you explained to me, I am even more convinced dark spells should be outlawed. A magic which requires sacrifice of any sort is not one I care for."

She paused; her green eyes full of fire and Severus could not help but smile a little. When Lily was passionate about a subject, she committed herself totally to the argument and it was a sight to behold.

She glared at him.

"Sev I'm serious! And what's worse, you could be expelled! You really need to find another way."

It warmed Severus to see Lily worried about him being expelled from Hogwarts. They spent the rest of the afternoon and their next meetings plotting about getting back to the Marauders. Nothing really conclusive came of it, except they laughed a lot. For the first time, she proposed him to drive to London with her family to buy his school things and later to take the Hogwarts express but he refused, knowing her parents would not like it. Still, the intention made him happy.

When Severus left for school, Mother had once again hidden money in her cache and had taken on a few pounds, even if she was still too thin for his comfort. He had tried once to get her to leave to the wizarding world with him but her reaction had been so extreme he never evoked the possibility again.

The train ride was peaceful. Lily had gone with her girl friends but he had not been disappointed. After this summer, their friendship seemed stronger than ever and he was happy to see his other friends. Once again, he had not been able to accept their invitation to visit during summer, but their correspondence had done as much as Lily to make his summer bearable. He talked with Jonathan and Evan about their respective summer, Lord Voldemort and everything they could think of. They were not disturbed except by the food trolley.

Yes, thought Severus as a new memory washed over him, the train ride had been the calm before the storm...

The sorting had just ended. Students were waiting for the usual Headmaster's command to tuck in but to their surprise, he stood up with a grave face.

"My dear students. My duty as Headmaster of your school is to warn you when I see a storm coming. It is my duty to warn you of dangers to come. I did not speak last year because I hoped the problems I foresaw would disappear quietly. Alas, it was not to be." Headmaster Dumbledore paused, looking over the silent assembly who hanged onto his every word.

Now that he was exterior to the scene, Severus saw several older students frown while others had the beginning of a smile on their face, as if they had guessed what was coming. Indeed, he should have guessed too, except he had been too busy with Lily, his friends and his family to think about the long-time consequences of the aftermath of the elections. He had still been naive, even if it was hard to imagine.

"The elections for Minister of Magic caused some ... tensions in our world. I know some people, maybe some of you, did not understand the Wizengamot decision to reject the demand of inquiry from Lord Voldemort. I must admit I was opposed to this inquiry. Not because I thought it would uncover some imaginary cheating from Minister Birkins' side, but because I know Lord Voldemort. I was his transfiguration professor the seven years he studied at Hogwarts. Yes, I once was a professor before becoming Headmaster," he chuckled. "But let's not digress. I knew him by another name at the time, and I already knew he had a thirst for power and an ambition too important for the good of others. Lord Voldemort only wants power. He tried for Minister of Magic to obtain it more easily. Now that he has been thwarted, he is trying to cause disrupt by his cunning declarations and to obtain power by another way."

He paused again then looked directly toward the slytherin table.

"Please be careful in your choices, all of you but even more you who will graduate this year. I want you to know my door is always open for those who need advice. Thank you."

He sat back and immediately, the food appeared on the tables.

The great hall remained in silence a few seconds before coming to life as the Headmaster's speech slowly sank in - or was quickly push away by most assumed Severus.

Slytherin was seething. The Headmaster had clearly made it known he considered the House to be a danger to the world when he had looked at them while saying the students needed to make the right choice. Notwithstanding the fact he had demeaned someone most of Slytherin had supported, he had painted a target on their back. Severus remembered the last two weeks of third year and groaned. Fourth year was heading downward to hell quickly.

Severus sneered at the memory-Dumbledore. He had known the Headmaster was biased toward Gryffindors when he always laughed at the Marauders antics, but he had not thought he despised Slytherin until that moment. It was confirmed to him later in the year.

Following Dumbledore's speech, tensions rose in school as they had after the elections. Gryffindors accused Slytherins of wanting pureblood supremacy while Slytherins retaliated by saying Gryffindors were fool Muggle lovers and traitors to the wizarding world. It quickly escalated into cruel pranks and fights on the two sides.

Lily, great admirer of Dumbledore that she was, questioned Severus again. However, none of them had new arguments or facts to sway the other and they renewed their agreement of disagreeing for now.

Sadly, both of their houses began pressuring them to forgo their friendship. Even Jonathan and Evan told Severus she was not good for him.

"Severus," said Evan. "I know you've known her for a long time and that you have a crush on her – don't deny it, it's obvious and the only reason for you to be so blind about her - but let's face it mate. She almost never spent time with you last year, except for studying -a very slytherin move if you ask me, keeping in touch just enough to get help from the best- and during the last week of school. She will let you down again as she already did before."

"Yes," shimmed Jonathan. "You already told us she was bent on defending the Marauders, even when they are awful to you. Merlin, she is friend with one of them! Mark our words, she will break your heart sooner rather than later."

Severus laughed bitterly. That she had. If only he had listened to them, maybe he would not hurt so much. But now was not the time for self-pity.

Lily and Severus held onto their friendship, seeing each other more again, mainly in his private lab to avoid their peers' remarks. Even as the Marauders focused on Slytherin as a whole, and Severus in particular, she defended him when she was present. Severus was pleased to observe she had stopped saying the Marauders were just pranking him in good fun. He had admitted to himself he was completely smitten with her, something he had refused to consider last year when she had been distancing herself. He knew he was not good looking, going through puberty awkwardly when Potter was breezing through it, Quidditch star, muscles and all. How anyone could be in awe of the prat only for being good at flying a broom and throwing a ball into a circle was a mystery for Severus but scores of girls fawned over the guy.

In contrast, Severus had grown taller and skinnier during the last months of third year. He had also experienced growing pains which did not help with his temper. To Lily's insistence, he went to the infirmary at the beginning of fourth year after a particularly snappish answer to her. Mrs. Pomfrey, the school matron, had assured him the pain was nothing to worry about and had happily told him he now was of middle height according to his age group chart. She also told him he should be prepared for at least two more years of growing and pain. According to her, he was going to be tall. Sadly, there was nothing to do about the pain as it was also caused by the growing of his magical core which would not respond to a pain potion.

Severus was delighted because he had been among the smallest pupils of his year but dismayed thinking about two more years of pain. Still, he now was the same height as Lily. It helped giving him some confidence and he carefully began looking for signs she might be open to more than friendship between them.

Starting from November, Severus noticed the Marauders always targeted him when he was on his own, without Lily or Jonathan and Evan. Despite his wide knowledge of curses and spells, Severus was hard-pressed to defend himself with three on one, the cowardly Lupin standing guard for teachers

He did not know how they did it, but he was certain they had found a way to know when he was alone and to locate him then. He knew they had no spell on him because he researched locating spells and their counters extensively. He checked no runes had been carved on his belongings even if he doubted Lupin would have had the nerves for it, and he was the only marauder to have taken the class with him. He was left with the possibility of either a Potter or Black heirloom or a spell they invented, which loathed as he was to admit it, was possible.

Their targeting of Severus culminated in February.

Severus grimaced as the memory began unfolding. It had been the day he knew with certainty Dumbledore was not as good as anyone made him.

Severus was hurrying from the Arithmancy classroom. He had remained after class to ask some questions on how the day you collected one ingredient would influence a potion and if it could be enough to change the effects of the potion in major ways. Professor Vector had been delighted by his interest in a branch not explored by many. She gave him a list of books on the subject, even writing him a pass to the restricted section of the library. But now he was late for lunch and did not want to chance on the Marauders.

"Hoy Snivellus!"

He froze, seeing Potter appear in front of him. He furtively looked around, his stomach dropping when he spotted Black and Pettigrew behind him, and Lupin farther away obviously mounting the guard.

"So Snivellus, playing the teacher's pet to cover for your dark practices?" drawled Potter. "You know Sirius has a lot of experience from his family recognizing dark wizards, and you stood out from the start."

"Dark magic is baaaad," singsang Sirius. "Bad little snake. I am sure your Lord Voldemort likes that. You know my family is behind him... It is the only proof I need to know he is a dark wizard. And so are you because you wanted him as minister of magic!"

"Oh yes," snickered Pettigrew. "Snivellus should be taught not to use dark spells, especially against us!"

"Indeed," agreed Potter. "What would the Headmaster say?" He paused then smirked. "What would beautiful Lily Evans say?"

Severus struggled to keep his head. The mention of Lily by pretentious Potter always made him lose his temper, but it impaired his judgement and he made tactical errors.

"Soooooo," said Black. "Where should we begin?"

Severus had just the time to cast a non-verbal Protego, making Black's Jellylegs charms rebound against a wall. He had reached the fifth year's Defence against the Dark Arts program at the end of summer and discovered the possibility of casting spells without saying them. He had immediately recognized the asset it would give him in his war against the Marauders and had practised as much as he was able to. Another bonus was that it would be harder to detect if he cast Dark spells and Lily would stop hounding him about stopping his study of the Arts.

Not losing anytime, he fired a Bat-Bogey Hex toward Black and Pettigrew then a Tooth-Growing Spell on Potter while rolling toward him. Cries of pain told him his bats had found their target but he did not lose his concentration as Potter evaded his spell in a practised Quidditch move. Potter cast a sticking charm on him that found his left foot, limiting Severus movements.

The Marauders now circled him and fired diverse spells and charms on him, while Severus struggled to maintain his protective shield all around him.

Severus had noticed during classes that the power in his spells was not as great at some of his peers. Indeed, his control of the spells was always perfect but he did not manage as much intensity as Lily or Evan. He knew the Marauders also overpowered him, with the exception of Pettigrew. At first, he had only been concerned about his grades as the lack of power decreased them slightly but as months passed, he had realized it could impact his capacity to defend himself.

Severus felt his shield shake as he desperately racked his brain to find a way out. Finally, he found a risky solution as he had to fire two spells consecutively quickly that he had never tried non-verbally but he could not let his three assailants know his intentions for it to work.

He took a deep breath, focusing on the two spell and the results he wanted. He waited for a time when all three cast a spell together then, careful to control his spell intensity, cast Ascendio. He rose in the air surprising his three opponents. While focusing on remaining in the air, he cast Deprimo, making his wand movement large enough to cover his three targets. The three Marauders fell on their knees under the pressure of the spell that was forcing them down, and struggled not to completely lie on the floor. Severus went back on the floor, surveying the now powerless Marauders who had lost grip of their wands under the pressure.

He was carefully escaping to the great hall when someone taller than he was blocked his path.


	6. Chapter 4 Part2

Thanks to all of you who took the time to follow, favourite and review this story.

It is still unbetaed.

AN: This chapter was reposted on 08/23/2017 for correction of grammar and punctuations mistakes.

* * *

The colourful dresses made Severus groaned inside. The Headmaster was here, taking in the scene. Severus noticed Lupin just behind, trying to disappear inside a wall.

"Well Mr. Snape, if you would be so kind and lift the spell from your comrades." said Dumbledore genially, also a brief look into his eyes told Severus the Headmaster was not happy.

He reluctantly released them, keeping an eye on their movements.

The three Marauders made a show of standing back up with difficulty, recovered their wands then stood expectantly in front of the Headmaster, on the opposite side of Severus.

"May I ask what happened here?" asked Dumbledore in a deceptively mild tone.

"Headmaster," began Potter, "we were going to the great hall when we crossed Snape. We exchanged a few words about Lord Voldemort and I think he didn't take it well because suddenly there was a pressure and we could not remain standing. Then you arrived to save us" he ended with a big winning smile toward the Headmaster.

Dumbledore watched him a few moments before turning to Severus.

"Do you agree with this version Mr. Snape?"

Severus struggled not to explode at the blatant lies of Potter and tried to speak in a normal voice.

"I remained behind after class to talk to Professor Vector. I was hurrying to go to lunch when they blocked me. They attacked me relentlessly. I protected myself with a shield but I was tiring. I tried this spell as last resort and it worked. I was leaving for lunch when you arrived."

"Hmm... You should know, Mr. Snape, that Deprimo can cause serious damages on the human body if you put too much power into it."

He paused, looking him in the eyes. Severus clenched his fists. Once again, he was the accused when he had only been defending himself.

Suddenly, he felt a weird sensation in his head, a pressure that went on intensifying every second. He saw himself in the air casting the spell on the Marauders and caught a glance of another figure before the pressure was so painful he fought against it.

At once, the pressure vanished and he was looking at the Headmaster who was frowning slightly.

"Very well, I suppose we are lucky you are not very powerful Mr. Snape," said Dumbledore.

Severus reddened and heard the Marauders snicker.

"Do be aware this spell borders with the Dark Arts."

Severus sneered when he saw Black stuck out his chest at hearing the proof the slytherin was a dark wizard. It did not matter the spell was not -yet, thought Severus- on the dark spells list of the Ministry. This list grew on every year. One day; only Lumos would be left to cast safely.

"Mr. Snape, it will be 20 points from Slytherin and two detentions with Mrs. McGonagall."

Severus sighed, defeated. Of course, detention with the stern professor for fighting with her lions.

"Misters Black, Potter and Pettigrew, it will be one detention with professor Slughorn."

Severus refrained a cry of injustice. Black and Potter were both in the Slughorn club; no doubt the detention would be light. Even if Slughorn now recognized Severus talent in Potions, he was nowhere near the professor's favourites. Those were Potter and Lily.

"Now gentlemen, hurry to lunch before it ends, and no duelling please" said Dumbledore sternly.

The Marauders went quickly while Severus took his time, thinking about the pressure and the pictures he had seen in these moments. The more he thought about it the more he was convinced it was Dumbledore he had seen in his mind. Why would he see the Headmaster in association with a memory he had not been part of? And why would he feel a pressure while remembering a memory?

Severus arrived to the slytherin table and quickly filled his plate. Then he took a piece of parchment and a pen, and got to the task of understanding this mystery.

At the end of his lunch, he had come up with a theory:

 _What: Pressure in the head + Memory of casting Deprimo + Pain_

 _Memory vanished with the pain and pressure_

 _Maybe figure of Dumbledore in the memory when he should not be there_

 _When: While talking with Dumbledore about the above memory_

 _Who: Dumbledore + me_

 _Did not see the Marauders cast any spell_

 _How: Health problem unlikely_

 _Result of a spell more probable_

 _A spell exists to read minds?!_

 _Why: To check my version of the events?_

 _Why only saw the end of the memory and not the Marauders' attacks?_

 _Why not check Potter's too? did not noticed any discomfort on Potter's face during his false account of the story_

 _Need to go to the library_

For once, Severus was in luck. He only had history classes with the ghost professor Binns and Potions. Being so advanced in Potions and learning History in the book Mother had bought him in first year, he decided to skip classes for once and go to the library instead. There, he consulted the books register that Mrs. Prince let him check unsupervised, a rare privilege. She was used to seeing him almost every day studying quietly and she knew he was always careful with her books. Since third year, she had given him access to the register which made it much easier to research a book than researching by shelves, especially when you were not sure of what you were looking for.

He quickly found several books on the magic of the minds. Riffling through them, he found out the art of reading minds was called Legilimency, and the art or defending against it Occlumency. Sadly, the books were not very informative, except to say those were difficult to learn and master. There was no clue on how it worked or how to learn it. They remained vague, saying Legilimency was considered invasive magic. There was even less information on Occlumency.

Frustrated, Severus remembered he had a pass to the restricted section from Professor Vector and immediately made use of it. There, after almost an hour, he found a treasure: Occlumency, theory and practice.

Severus was excited but he knew he could not check the book out without arousing suspicions. He noted its references then impatiently waited for the next Hogsmead weekend to buy it.

A few weeks later, he studied Occlumency from this book amongst others. This one was apparently the most complete to understand and learn Occlumency but the others were necessary to understand the basis and added useful information on the link between Legilimency and Occlumency.

 _Occlumency is commonly defined as the art of protecting one's mind. However, this definition only covers a part of the subject. It is more exact to say Occlumency is the art of mastering one's mind. When one masters Occlumency, he will notice an improvement of his memorizing capacities a well as of his deducing abilities. He will have better control of his feelings, meaning his tendencies to act on impulse will diminished. He will also be able to protect his mind from Legilimens, as well as from most nightmares. All this steams from the control of a Master Occlumens on his mind and memories._

 _There are three main steps in learning Occlumency:_

 _1: Finding your safe place_

 _Two ways of finding your safe place are currently known._

 _For the first way, you must focus on a feeling of safety, clearing your mind of any other thoughts. When you manage it, a picture of your safeplace should naturally come to your mind. It can come two ways: either one place comes to the front and remains, or several places come successfully with one appearing several times. This one is your safe place, the one strongest attached to you feeling safe. It can take several months to find your safeplace this way, depending on your natural aptitude for Occlumency as well as on your past experiences. Most learners will in fact have a choice between two or three possible safeplaces that their subconscious will propose. In this case, they must choose the one they consciously consider as safer._

 _The other way is usually quicker but more painful and riskier for the learner. You must try to focus on nothing while a Legilimens enter your mind brutally enough to make your mind react and protect himself but not strongly enough to damage your mind._

 _The Legilimens must repeat the attack several times consecutively for about 10 minutes, once a day and during two weeks at most. By then a picture should be present at the forefront of the learner's mind when he thinks of protecting his mind. This is his safe place. The safeplace is fundamental and you must not proceed to step 2 without being certain of it._

 _2: Shaping your mind into your safe place_

 _For now, your mind only assumes the form of your safeplace when you consciously think of safety. You must train it to remain into this shape all the time until it remains this way even when you do not think about it._

 _3: Controlling your safe place_

 _Once you mind is shaped, you need to learn to control it. First, you must be able to move into it at will. Then you will try to transform elements from it and to add element to it as will. Those are the keys in Occlumency, you must be able to add what you need to your safeplace at will, without deforming it._

 _When you have mastered these three steps, you should be able to delve into the more complex branches of Occlumency. Do not attempt anything before mastering the three steps above._

 _It should be noted Occlumency is a difficult subject that has seldom be mastered and that is successfully practised by few. Most Masters Occlumens were natural Occlumens. The surest way to know if you are a natural Occlumens is to have a Legilimens try and enter your mind. If you feel the intrusion, you are most likely a natural Occlumens and should be able to succeed in your study of Occlumency. Most Occlumens can learn Legilimency too. For more information on Legilimens, see_ _Legilimency, theory and practice_ _._

The older Severus smiled. The fact he had felt Dumbledore in his mind meant he was a natural Occlumens and had given him even more drive to learn. He had read and practised every evening, cutting in his advanced study time but it had been worth it to thwart Dumbledore later he though darkly.

He had told Lily about the incident with Dumbledore but she had not believed the Headmaster would breach the privacy of a student in this manner. He had been miffed by her disbelief and decided not to tell her about Occlumency and his learning of it.

Severus sighed. His observing of Lupin had finally born his fruits around spring and he had been convinced the Marauder was a werewolf. It explained the monthly sickness as well as his disappearances for two or three days. Indeed, werewolves transform the three night of the full moon and the transformation is painful. It leaves the subject weak and hurting in his bones the day after. Severus had also noticed the closer the full moon got, the more Lupin got emotional. The usually nice and coward guy almost grew teeth the days before his transformation.

Fifth year Severus shivered. Werewolf teeth were no laughing matter as he had discovered earlier in the year.

He had told Lily about his suspicion a little after she had refused to believe his accusation of Dumbledore. She had laughed and then gotten angry when he insisted. She told him there was no way gentle and well-mannered Remus was a monster and she accused him of wanting her to give up on her Gryffindor's friends to have her for himself. Severus had been hurt because yes, he had begun watching Lupin out of jealousy but now he was friend with Lily again, he had wanted to warn her about the possible danger. She even accused him of wanting to isolate her to make her want to support Lord Voldemort.

Fifth year Severus sighed again. Those had been her friends' words. The more they advanced into the year, the greater their peers' pressure had been to end their friendship.

Her friends denigrated his looks, his poor clothes and his nasty temper while his own friends had told him again and again she would let him down when she grew weary of her crusade and joined the general Gryffindor opinion of Slytherin.

In reaction to Gryffindors' taunting, Slytherins had begun using the word Mudblood regularly instead of Muggleborns. Jonathan had told him his family was using it a lot during summer and he had taken the habits with the Muggleborns he disliked. It did not help Severus case with Lily even if himself did not use the word, and Evan and Jonathan were civil to Lily. Still, after telling her about Lupin, she had distanced herself from him again, though she kept on defending him against the Marauders and any Slytherin hater.

Meanwhile, their Houses rivalry increased every day. Pranks now were harmful and Mrs. Pomfrey had to heal at least one Gryffindor or Slytherin a day. Slytherin were losing points quicker than Gryffindor, mainly because during fights, they used borderline dark spells that were frown upon by the teachers, no matter that the light spells from the Gryffindors did as much damages. Moreover, it seemed to Severus that when caught, teachers believed the Gryffindors more than the Slytherins.

He sneered, thinking about Dumbledore favouritism that showed more every day.

Rumours began about Slytherin being an all Purebloods house bent on conquering Mudbloods. That was false but as often happened with rumours, all Hogwarts was soon convinced of the fact.

In truth, there were Muggleborns in Slytherin – and one Half-blood - but thanks to rule three, they blended in quickly by the Christmas of their first year. Those that did not were few and protected by rule four until their fourth year. Then, the house politics made sure they were miserable. Severus was only aware of two during his years at Hogwarts and both had transferred to Beauxbatons a few weeks after the beginning of their fourth year. He heard rumours one left after being severely injured but he never got confirmation.

One could have thought Slytherin's Muggleborns would be ostracised after Severus' third year events. They would have been very wrong. All of them had been hurt by the muggle world and were the living proves that Lord Voldemort was needed. Severus did not think it was a hazard they were Slytherins. The sorting hat had belonged to Gryffindor but been spelled by all the founders. Salazar had wanted them protected, as did Lord Voldemort's faction.

Thus, during the summer after Lord Voldemort failed election, several slytherin Purebloods lead by Lord Abraxas Malfoy had decided to put into place an unofficial sponsorship for Slytherin's Muggleborns and Half-bloods. According to Jonathan, many muttered they had waited far too long to implement it, waiting for a hypothetical agreement from the Ministry.

As per Slytherin fourth rule, the sponsorship would begin in their fourth year, if the student accepted the proposal of their sponsor – which they all did. The younger years were considered wards of Slytherin and should come to any fourth year and above if help with their home situation was required.

Severus had been torn between disappointment at not being able to call for help as a younger year and relief that he did not have to choose whether to ask for help or not.

Severus smiled slightly, the memory of the first Hogsmead weekend of his fourth year washing over him. In the end, it had been for the best.

Jonathan, Evan and Severus were slowly making their way to Hogsmead, enjoying their first weekend out of the school grounds. There were both excited and anxious because the first sponsorship proposals would happen today, and they hoped Severus would have a good sponsor. One of the best. A Malfoy one.

Severus had tried not to get his hopes too high. While it was true Lucius and he kept a regular correspondence, Severus had not seen his blond mentor since first year and he had never met Lord Abraxas Malfoy. Severus knew Lord Malfoy held much power and influence in the wizarding world, thanks to his fortune and his political alliances. He doubted the Lord would have much interest for a low Half-born though. Indeed, being a Half-blood was sometimes worse than being a Muggleborn because Mother had chosen a Muggle above a Wizard. Thankfully, nobody knew he was Eileen Prince's offspring. No one knew the estranged daughter of the powerful Prince family had remained in England, his grand-parents having claimed she had escaped to an unknown exotic destination.

Thinking about it, it puzzled Severus his grand-parents had not found Eileen and forced her to leave Tobias. Jonathan had explained the Heads of House could locate any of their house members providing they were not far enough. Only rare spells could prevent members from being located by their Head and Severus knew Mother did not have the power required for those. It should have been easy to part her from Tobias. He could only suppose his grand-parents knew where she was but betrayed by their flesh and blood, chose to abandon her to her sorry life. They might not know they had a Half-blood grand-son. Sometimes he wondered if he should dare contact his grand-parents but always abandoned the idea. The main reason was the Princes had an heir, the son of Mother's brother. Older than him and pureblood to boot, Severus knew he could never hope to compete for his grand-parent's acceptance.

Pushing these depressing thoughts aside, he smiled slightly hearing his friends argue about the respective value of each potential sponsor he could be settled with – there was no way he would refuse an offer if he wanted to fit in Slytherin and he doubted any sponsor would not be worth having.

"Jonathan, don't tell me you would rather have Severus with old Lord Rowle than with Lord Selwyn, known for his interest in potion making!" exclaimed Evan.

"Of course I do," retorted Jonathan. "Think like the Slytherin you're supposed to be Evan! Severus needs someone to guide him and help him in the wizarding world. He needs someone for him and Lord Rowle would be perfect, his children are pursuing careers in France and he is all alone in his mansion most of the year. Lord Selwyn is always preoccupied, looking for rare and new potions. He would work Severus like a slave and our friend would love it!"

"Well, when you put it like this, I must admit you have a point," said Evan. Turning to Severus, he smiled maliciously. "So Severus, do you prefer taking care of an old man or being a slave making potions?

Raising his eyebrow, Severus answered with feigned condescension.

"Mr. Rosier, I do think you should take Mr. Wilkes advice and think like a Slytherin. I highly doubt Lord Rowle needs a nursemaid, nor would I be disposed to become one. However, I am sure he would be delighted to teach you how to duel, especially when he hears how decrepit you think him to be."

Smiling evilly, he added:

"I would be delighted to inform him as soon as I become his protégé."

Eyes widening in horror, Evan grabbed his arm.

"Come on Severus, you would not do this if he asked you, right?"

"It depends, what would you give me?"

"You are evil."

"You're the one who forgets to watch his tongue"

"Guys, we're here!"

Jonathan interrupted their playful dispute as they arrived in front of their destination.

The Procope had been chosen because it was not in the Hogsmead area usually visited by the students and would offer more privacy to the Slytherins. It did not hurt it was the oldest café of the town, owned by French proprietors whose discretion was legendary.

Severus entered the café alone. Only those needing a sponsor were to come. The inside was sparsely decorated but gave a feeling of elegance and history that made Severus very much aware of the poor state of his clothing. He had refused Evan's offer to loan him a dress for the occasion because he wanted his sponsor to see him as he was on their first meeting. If he was honest with himself, he wanted to test the importance his future sponsor would give to his appearance.

Severus had no idea how the sponsors had chosen the student they would mentor. He supposed they had had access to every student school records and had asked other students about them but afterwards? Had the sponsors debated, fought over which student they wanted? Had he been a default choice?

None of this mattered, Severus reminded himself. He would get a mentor, be grateful for it and at least have some connection to the wizarding world. He would not get his hopes too high; his mentor was not here to adopt someone...

Snorting at himself for even thinking it, Severus gave the intendant the password all mentored-to-be had been given the previous evening. He was led to a small room where others Slytherins were already waiting.

Severus almost frowned when he realized he had not known two of them were Muggleborns. Admittedly, they were seventh year he had almost no contact with but it irked him all the same. Knowing who were Muggleborns, Purebloods and Purebloods from the most ancient Houses meant having at least a rough idea of someone's standing in politics and economics. It also made it easier to guess which kind of favours to offer or ask for.

The fourth year resolved to ask Evan for a lesson on the Purebloods families to refresh his memory. He did not get enough practice with using those information, seeing he lived in the muggle world and only went to Diagon alley to get his school materials, but he needed to know this when he graduated. He could botch a job interview because he did not know what he should have.

Two more slytherin students entered the room and then the door was locked from the outside.

Severus repressed his reflex to try and open it right away, noticing others twitching as well. They were ten, from fourth to seventh year. One in five Slytherin was a Muggleborn, a number which would have surprised many. Severus was sure neither the teachers nor the Headmaster realized it either.

Another door opened. Severus recognized Jonathan's father from their few encounters at King's cross. When Mother came to get him back home, she always waited for the last parent to be gone before showing herself and meeting him. She never accompanied him through the barrier when he took the train to Hogwarts at the beginning of September. She obviously did not want to be recognized by Wizards but was it for Severus' benefit, her pride or her shame, he could not tell. On the contrary, his best friends' parents were always waiting for them on the platform at the end of the school year so he had met them a few times. Jonathan and Evan must have warned them beforehand but they had never shown less than polite amiability toward him. He usually had to suppress pangs of jealousy in these occasions, thinking of his own parents.

The students followed Mr. Wilkes in a greater room were 10 people were waiting for them.


	7. Chapter 4 Part3

Thanks to you who took the time to follow, favourite and review my story.

AN: This chapter was reposted on 08/23/2017 for correction of grammar and punctuations mistakes.

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One immediately drew Severus attention because she was the only woman and made for a striking figure. She was not beautiful but the set of her face, her piercing green eyes so different from Lily's as well as her rich dresses demanded attention.

From his lessons with Jonathan and Evan, Severus recognized Lady Greengrass. History had it a forest nymph had gifted the women of the family with beautiful eyes as green as trees leaf in spring in return of a favour. Both Severus' friends had confirmed all Greengrass women indeed had green eyes for as long as anyone remembered, but Jonathan added jokingly that potions and spells to modify eyes colour existed.

She had a small smile playing on her lips as she watched the assembled students.

On her right stood Lord Selwyn and his cousin. Both wore the distinctive crest of their family on their chest and were scrutinizing each young face. It unnerved Severus but he smoothed his features and did not let his discomfort show – he had had a lot of practice after all. Next to them, seating in two small armchairs were Lord Fleamont and his brother. Both were renowned for their numerous travels that always ended with fruitful business deals for their family.

An elder wizard was seated in an imposing armchair on the left of Lady Greengrass. Although his hair was pure white, Lord Rowle sat regally and his eyes were full of life. The man was how Severus pictured his grandfather in his mind when he allowed himself to daydream about an unattainable life. He thought he would really not mind having him as a sponsor.

Then Lord Nott and his nephew stood against a wood pillar. Both were smiling slightly. The Nott family had Italian ancestors and ran a lucrative business with their family members that remained in Italy.

Severus fought with himself not to let his gaze falter on the man seated just before them. He would have known Lord Malfoy anywhere, Lucius being the spitting portrait of his father.

Severus looked at the last man standing and had to call on years of practice not to show his shock. The man stood regally with a slight coldness in his expression. His eyes were as black as Severus' and Severus' mother face was in his. Augustus Prince, Severus' grandfather, was here.

Severus made himself look back to Mr. Wilkes and tried to distract himself from his pounding heart.

He noted the Black, though a renowned and ancient Slytherin House, were not represented and felt a weight he had not acknowledged lift from his shoulders. He knew being sponsored by a Black would have meant more troubles with the marauders. He had also feared what their rumored craziness – rumors that were too numerous not to be close to reality- would have meant for him.

All in all, the sponsors seemed well suited for their tasks and Severus was certain he could work with any of them. He just did not know if he would rather have Lord Malfoy or his grandfather as a sponsor, and what he would feel should he get neither of them.

Fifth year Severus remembered he had not yet begun his study of Occlumency which would have come in handy to help calm his frayed nerves and pounding heart. Back then, he had needed all his concentration not to show how having his grandfather close enough to touch had unsettled him. He could hardly think of a worst moment to make the man's acquaintance.

Mr. Wilkes waited for all the students to arrange themselves in front of the sponsors before speaking.

"Dear Slytherins. I am honored to witness our meeting today, symbol of a new beginning for us. For too long we let Muggleborns fools handle wizards' matters and prevent us from doing what we should have. They are lucky because their family did not cast them aside when they showed magic. They are unlucky because they are blind to the misfortune of others like you. They are unlucky because they do not realize the muggle world has skewed their view of right and wrong, so much that they consider it normal for children to remain with a family that is dangerous to them. They are unlucky because even if their family love them, they are different from them and do not realize how tenuous their situation in the muggle world is. We should have acted earlier but we had the hopes of acting with the agreement of the Ministry. We now know it is impossible. So we act mentor's role is clear: At the very least, he will give you advice for your future career. At worst, he will protect you from muggle threats."

He paused, letting his gaze wander on the students listening avidly to his words. It was what Severus has hoped for. Looking surreptitiously toward the other students, he saw they had been hoping for the same as he and were not disappointed. It would not have been obvious to a non slytherin observer, but a slight uplift of a corner of the mouth, a spark in one's eye, a hand moving, were signs he knew how to read.

Satisfied with what he saw, Mr. Wilkes sent on.

"Sponsors were first chosen for their capacity to help you. None of them were to currently have children at Hogwarts so that he can focus on you."

Well, that explained the Blacks' absence, though Severus. For once, having Black at school was a blessing. Of course, his younger brother Regulus was attending Hogwarts too. He at least had upheld the family tradition and been sorted in Slytherin. Severus did not know him well. The boy was two years younger than he, was shy and quiet for a Pureblood, and did not excel in classes.

"We tried to match you with the sponsor that seemed the best for you. You are always free to refuse a mentor. It will not be held against you. Even if you accept a mentor, you can end this association anytime. However, you will need to explain why, so that we may help you find a mentor that will be able to help , one at a time, the mentors will come forward and call for a student. If the student accepts the offer, they will go to a separate room in order to iron out the working of their relationship."

He paused, looking at the students proudly.

"Do you have any question?"

Severus shook his head, along with the others.

"Then let's begin."

Gallantry oblige, Lady Greengrass walked to face the students first.

She had chosen à seventh year who gladly accepted her mentorship offer and they went to a private room to sort out the details of their agreement.

Severus held his breath when his grandfather was next. The man took his time watching the students. His gaze sat on each of them, almost as if he had not made his choice yet. To Severus, it felt Lord Prince's gaze remained on him far longer than on the others but when the other seventh year was called forth, Severus dismissed the idea.

However, looking from outside the memory, Severus once again felt that his grandfather had looked at him for a long time. Could he have known? Severus did not look like Mother, except for his eyes. And if he had known his grandson surname was Snape, he would have chosen him, right?...Unless the Prince really wanted nothing to do with Eileen and her progeny...Just another possible cause of heartbreak, so Severus shoved it aside.

After Lord Selwyn's brother chose a sixth year, Severus understood they were being called in chronological order, from seventh to fourth year. It meant he would be one of the last called. From then on, time blurred with brief periods of relief when Lord Malfoy remained seated while another sponsor got up to call for a student.

At last, only Mr. Wilkes, Lord Malfoy and Severus remained.

Not daring to believe his chance yet, Severus felt his heart burst in his chest when Lord Abraxas Malfoy solemnly asked him if he accepted to be his sponsored.

Severus quickly accepted, feeling the luckiest Slytherin. After a quiet "well done" and a pat on the back from Mr. Wilkes, Severus followed Lord Malfoy into a private room.

Severus tried not to look too impressed and happy, but he had the feeling the older slytherin was not fooled one second.

Lord Malfoy - his mentor, thought Severus with giddiness- sat on one old leather comfortable looking armchair and gestured for Severus to take the other one across the table. Refreshments and pastries of all sorts were on the table and the young man felt his stomach rumble.

He blushed but Lord Malfoy only smiled and told him to serve himself. Severus gratefully took some orange juice -he liked pumpkin juice well enough but nothing compared to fresh orange juice- and tried some chocolate _macaron_. He had never had those but recognized them from pictures lily had showed him once.

They were delicious and he thought his mentor gave a faint nod of approval.

"Mr. Snape. I am glad you accepted my sponsorship offer. They were some debate about who was the best match for you and I prevailed in the end. My son is convinced you will make the Malloy's name proud. I followed his advice. Do not disappoint as it would trouble him greatly."

Severus took a gulp of orange juice to moisten his suddenly dry throat. The fool. He had not realized that having Lord Malfoy as his mentor could influence his friendship with Lucius.

"That being said, let me lay the rules for this sponsorship to work. Do not hesitate to add things you deem important."

He paused to let the words sink in. Severus nodded and he went on.

"My first use to you is to be a bridge between you and the wizarding world. Anything you need to know or do in the wizarding world, you come to me. If I can help you in your studies by providing some magical background, I will. In return, I expect you to do tout best as a student and a wizard, to uphold the Malfoy's reputation. Of course, in time, this relationship may encompass other grounds more personal. However, never hesitate to call for me if you need help in the muggle world. I will be the one to take responsibilities for defending you, nous matter the mean I chose."

"Do you have any questions or remarks?"

"No sir. Those are good bases to build upon."

The Lord smiled and they shook hands sealing the deal.

Severus was grateful to Lord Malfoy who really invested himself in the sponsorship while still handling it with delicacy. He took the time to meet with Severus every Hogsmead weekend for an hour. The Lord always asked Severus about his studies and his potion projects. The light of pride in the older man eyes when Severus described his work made Severus stand a little taller in his chair. Once, Lucius had joined them and they had spent the afternoon together. Severus could not help but think that it would have been perfect if Mother had been here too.

The Lord had broached the subject of Severus' home life but had not insisted when Severus had avoided giving specifics. Lord Malfoy had only said that Severus was to call for him no matter the hour of the day if he needed help. He had also asked Severus to organize his holidays to be able to spend two weeks at Malfoy manor with the Malfoy family.

Severus was unsure how he would manage it but did not dare say so to his sponsor.

The older Severus smiled wistfully. His sponsor had become more and more important to Severus since their first meeting. Now that Mother... Never mind that thought. Lord Malfoy was among the few people whose opinion Severus cared about.

It was during one of those Hogsmead weekend that Lord Malfoy introduced him to Lord Voldemort.

Severus knew both Jonathan's and Evan's family were involved with the Lord and that during summer, they had all been working on planning the next step of action to capitalize on the lost election and refused inquiry.

His friends had told him they were working on making Lord Voldemort electing program a reality despite him not being elected but had remained vague and he had not pushed. He had enough on his plate not to be hurt by not being involved in a political project.

One Hogsmead week-end, he had joined Lord Malfoy dressed in his unique dress robes. They were a gift from his mentor for his birthday, in addition of a rare ingredients book. The robes were simple yet elegant, the fabric a green so dark it seemed black under certain lightning. The only embellishment bordered the robe sleeves edge. Snakes were embroidered in silver, encircling Severus wrists. They gave a faint glimmer when Severus moved his arms, a subtle way to catch attention or emphasize a point. He had made the effort to brew a potion that would clean all potions residue from his hair – it was tedious, time consuming, and required some expensive ingredients, which was why he rarely did it- and put his long hair in a sleek low ponytail. When he had looked at himself in the mirror, Severus had deemed himself passable, far better than his usual ugliness, and that would suffice.

He did not know why Lord Malfoy had told him to dress formally but he had no doubt he was in for an exciting day.

His mentor led him once again to the Procope. Contrary to the sponsorship day, they were admitted in the greatest private room of the café.

An assembly of Slytherins was comfortably sitting, with a lone figure in their centre.

The man was handsome. He had a commanding yet warm air to himself. His eyes were sharp and seemed to take into every detail while the man carried with his conversation. Severus was torn between envy and awe. This was someone he could follow.

Lily's warnings resonated faintly into his mind but he paid them no heed.

Lord Voldemort observed him carefully while Lord Malfoy introduced him. Severus did not hear a word that was said, subjugated as he was by the Lord's presence.

"I am so glad to finally meet you Severus." Lord Voldemort's voice was precise and agreeable, with just a hint of warmth for Severus that emphasized his words.

"Abraxas praised you greatly, as did some of your year mates and above."

Severus blushed at the praise. He was getting used to Lord Malfoy congratulating him but apart from him, adult recognition of his talent was few and far between.

"It is an honor to meet you as well my Lord".

"Come Severus; sit beside me while I explain why you were brought to us today."

The young man sat gingerly on the armchair across the Lord while Lord Malfoy took a place beside him.

"I waited for you to be better accustomed with your mentor before asking you to come to me. I did not want to assault you with too many changes."

It had seemed quite rational at the time and still was. However, fifth year Severus could not help but wonder if Lord Voldemort had wanted to have Lord Malfoy's impressions of Severus before meeting him.

"I will be direct as I have heard you do not like people who beat around the bush."

Severus smiled to himself. In his opinion, one of Lord Voldemort's greater assets was his ability to adapt to the person he was talking to, and in Severus' case, to speak clearly without detour.

"We need you to help our cause. You know of my late elective program. You know my positions. I know you agree with them. I am planning to win the next Minister election. For this, I will need competent wizards in key places. You are one of the most brilliant in your generation from what I am told. We will have great need of you."

He paused, looking Severus in the eyes. Severus had the fleeting impression of a feather against his Occlumency shield which vanished so quickly he thought he had dreamed it.

Looking at the memory, fifth year Severus saw Lord Voldemort frown slightly. He rewinded the memory and again, the feathery sensation was present. Had Lord Voldemort tried to Legilimency him? Why?

It was nothing like Dumbledore's attack of his mind. Then, the headmaster had sought to watch his memories. Legilimency could be used more lightly, to gauge the mood of person, to feel his general feeling at one precise moment. It was less intrusive and gave less information but it could still be a lot of helped to stir a conversation one way or another.

Something else to ponder once he would have finished his stroll down memory lane…

Lord Voldemort spoke again.

"In the meantime, we still need to protect our children. We want to create a net to protect those who need it and punish those who dare attack magical children. Many have already agreed to join and look out for those Muggles who would attack underage wizards. We will punish them so they will not dare attack us again. Of course, you cannot use your wand outside Hogwarts for now, but you would be provided with potions and other means of defence that leave no trace after use."

Fourth year Severus could not be happier. They were taking steps to effectively protection children. And under the pretence of looking out for others, he could protect Mother and himself from his father without having to tell his mentor.

"We are putting into place a system to alert us when magical children are in trouble with muggle. We will then contact the more suited of us to deal with the situation. You should not be contacted unless it is an emergency and no one else is available.

Severus bristled. He was quite capable to defend a child against Muggles with the right weapons.

Lord Voldemort smiled and raised his hand to prevent Severus from talking.

"I have no doubt you are more than capable of handling a couple of Muggles. However, incidents happened. I do not want to take the risk of having one of you youngsters hurt by a Muggle. I also want to avoid you being pursued in the eventuality you need to resort to force to save the children. It might mean an expulsion from Hogwarts or a mark on your civil record which could prevent you from pursuing the career of your choice."

Severus was awed. The Lord wanted to protect them. He wanted to protect Severus. Aside from his mentor, no adult had really cared. Even Mother only protected her son the days she felt like it.

Lord Voldemort then moved the conversation and the three of them made idle chat a little while before Lord Malfoy excused Severus and himself.

Severus let the memory go. Lord Voldemort cause was one worth fighting for. How could anyone deny it? If he had been born a few years later, Severus' life might have been very different, he surely would have been happier... Still a question would not leave him. Why had Lord Voldemort tried to use Legilimency on him?

Using Legilimency on someone without his agreement was an offence and could earn punishments from a fine to jail time Of course, you had to be able to prove Legilimency had been used on you first, which was really difficult if you had encounter a skilled practitioner. However, even if it could not be proven, mere suspicion could break a reputation.

Slytherins believed in using every weapon available when needed and Severus had no objection about secretly using Legilimency on enemies. But Lord Voldemort and he were on the same side. They believed in the same cause. The Lord had had no need to try and influence him by using Legilimency.

Lily's warnings resonated again faintly in his mind and for once, he did not dismiss them. Of course, few people went into politic without expecting important gain for themselves. Lord Voldemort should not be any different but the whole wizarding world would also reap many benefits from it. If the Lord did not have an ulterior motive…

Severus sighted. Why was everything so complicated? He needed to address this new concern, even if he was fairly certain he would quickly find a plausible explanation for what happened.

He abstractly thought he would have a killer headache when he was done, with so many thoughts, problems and emotions to deal with when he left the calm state of Occlumency but for now, he plunged on the next memory.

It was Severus' last meeting of the year with his mentor. They had been talking about Severus' plan for next year, the subjects he wanted to pursue in sixth year, the OWLS he was confident about and those he would need to focus on during fifth year to come out on top.

Truth be told, Severus was one of the best in his year, now that Transfiguration was more of a revision than discovery for him, unlike for his year mates. He was in the first half of the class, and gained place with each new test. Professor McGonagall had even awarded him a rare praise on his exam's answer to the difficulty of using transfigured objects and ingredients to perform magic, and the limitations it imposed. It was a point Severus had researched with great interest as he had wondered if he could use transfigured ingredients in potions without altering their properties. As usual, it led him to study far more complex rules and to broaden his inquiry to all areas of Magic instead of potion only. He felt he had not wasted his time as it deepened his understanding of magic and McGonagall compliment had not hurt either.

He was first in Potions and Defence against the Dark Arts, and among the five firsts in Runes, Herbology, History of Magic, Charms and Care of Magical Creatures. Arithmancy was his worst subject with Transfiguration, mainly because he had not studied it as much as he needed. Between Transfiguration that still demanded more attention from him that his others subjects, the increase in homework because, dixit the professors, "it was their year before the OWLS and they needed to prepare and get used to greater amount of workload", his study of Occlumency, his spying of Lupin, his brewing for Mother, his studying of advanced spells and his research in potion and the Dark Arts, well… Severus had not been willing to sacrifice the limited free time that remained his to meet his mentor and enjoy his few friends' company.

Arithmancy was easy enough if he focused on the professor's lecture and read his notes on the day he had written them so he did not do more. He planned to use his summer to remedy this fact.

Lord Malfoy had been impressed… He even had this light that felt like pride in his eyes while looking at Severus.

"Severus. I admit when Lucius first told me about you, I believed he exaggerated your prowess and potential to give himself some importance. I realize I should trust my son to know better than that. I do not regret for one moment the decision I made to become your mentor. You have a sharp mind with a temper that you should do well to tamper. Mark my words; you have the making of a great wizard. "

The man paused and Severus felt a dreaded "but" coming.

"Great wizards do not always make for great men. We are Slytherin. We learn about the world, the scheming, and the importance of all kinds of power at an early age. It does not mean we are not foolish sometimes. It does not mean we do not enjoy our life."

Severus looked at Lord Malfoy, feeling a little lost. Why was his mentor telling him this?

His mentor sighed.

"I see you do not understand what I am telling you. Do not deny it; he said with a small smile, I can see it in your eyes. I know you have a hard life."

He raised a hand to prevent Severus from denying it.

"I will not pry but know I will be here when you need me. I do not know the details. I know you are a Half-blood Slytherin. I hear how you despise your Headmaster in the way you say his name when in private circle. You have suffered from his bias against all Slytherin. I will not excuse it. However, having a hard life does not exclude you from enjoying its small pleasures. In fact, you need to if you do not want to end up an old man addicted to powers who does not care about anyone but his own achievement.

Severus though that sounded awfully like a description of Dumbledore and saw his mentor smirked.

"Do you know what gives me joy every morning?"

"No, my Lord", answered Severus, curious about where this conversation was going.

"Every morning, to go take my breakfast, I walk through the corridor that holds all the Malfoy's line private portraits. This corridor is known only to family. They are not really portrait but paintings of everyday life. In one, an ancestor is playing with his kneezle. In another, a Mother is watching her daughter play the piano with happiness and pride." He paused.

Severus was hanging on his every word.

"The last one is my favourite. Lucius is one year old. My late wife is watching over him. Suddenly, he turns towards her and gives her a smile so bright it illuminates my day until the next one."

The man looked at Severus, searching his face for something Severus did not know.

"Do you understand why I am telling you this Severus? Do you understand why I am sharing something so dear to me?"

No, Severus did not understand at all.

"You work so much that if Misters Wilkes and Rosier were not your friends, you would spend days without willingly spend time with people. You do not care much for people. You surely have reason not to. But someone with as much an intellect as you must not forget what it means to care for others. You must not forget what it means to be happy because you made your friend laugh. Knowledge is not all there is to life, even if knowledge is power. Every power needs a balance, especially inside an individual.

Lord Malfoy sighed.

"Forgive my ramblings Severus. I see you do not get my point still. I think a more concrete example might be more understandable to know Headmaster Dumbledore is biased against Slytherins. It was not always so. You have heard of lord Grindelwald. "

Severus nodded, puzzled.

"Grindelwald first studied at Beauxbatons, as had every generation of his house. Contrary to Hogwarts, Beauxbatons has a Dark Arts course. It is an optional course, as can be Runes at Hogwarts. Students are heavily monitored because using the Dark Arts is walking a fine line between using them or they controlling you. It is easy to become addicted to the Dark Arts so the policy is very strict and students can be dismissed from the course if it is deemed too dangerous for them and was expelled from Beauxbatons for twisted use of the Dark Arts. He was accepted in Hogwarts for his seventh year and was sorted into Slytherin. After he graduated, he became friend with Dumbledore and for twenty years, both experimented with magic. For an unknown reason, they had a fall out. Grindelwald went to Russia where he built himself a fortress with the fortune he had inherited from his father. His aim was to break the statute of secrecy."

Severus gasped. He had only known Grindelwald was a dark wizard now imprisoned in his Russian fortress after having lost his duel against Dumbledore. He knew some people had died because of Grindelwald but it was very abstract.

"Not only Grindelwald wanted to tell Muggles about us and our world, but he wanted Wizards to rule the muggle world as benevolent superior beings, a kind of paternalist approach for the greater good of Muggles and Wizards as he said."

Lord Malfoy looked at Severus, seemingly pleased with the impact his words had in the young man, and asked.

"What do you think of Grindelwald aim, aside from his attraction to the dark arts?"

Severus took a moment to organize his thoughts, trying to imagine himself into a world where Muggles knew about wizards and were ruled by them.

"I don't think it would have worked in the long term. Muggles would either fear us or envy us, and in both cases, it means they would have been against us. I think it would have turned into a war and I am not sure we would have won without taking many damages. "

Lord Malfoy nodded approvingly.

"I agree with your assessment of the situation. During his trial, Grindelwald said he wanted to rule Muggles and Wizards to protect them from each other, but I think his methods would have had the opposite effect. Grindelwald was - and still is I think - a fine tactician in our world. However, he lacks understanding of the muggle world and he did not see the potential disaster of his approach."

He paused, lost in thought.

"We, mentor, were chosen in part because of our knowledge of the muggle world compared to most Wizards."

Taking in Severus dubious expression, he smirked.

"Yes, it can surprise from a Malfoy. I interested myself in the muggle world during Grindelwald last years of machinations. At the time, I was undecided whether to invest in him or not. The Muggleborns I had met in Slytherin were much like you and had suffered a lot in their parents' world. One had even lost a sister to it. But I had met others, notably a Ravenclaw that had blown my mind with his interrogations about magic and the research this questioning led him to. He told me his way of thinking came from his Muggle school and it made me realized Muggles were evolving from the horror stories I could hear at home. They could be quite intelligent and thus more dangerous to us than in past centuries. So, I travelled to Russia to meet Grindelwald. I learned he was profiting from the current muggle world war two to conduct experiments on Muggles and the effect potions and magic had on them. On the theoretical plan, it was very interesting. On the human one..."

The Lord paused briefly before talking again.

"I heard one of his experiments tell him he was no better than Hitler and that both of them would end up dead as benefit evil men. I had never heard of Hitler but Grindelwald had and he was outraged. How a mere Muggle dared compare the brilliance of Grindelwald strategy and experimentation with a murderous Muggle that had dumbly betrayed his ally and would thus lose what he had gained sooner rather than later?"

Severus shivered. His father seldom spoke of the WWII except when he was drunk. He had once told his son that Hitler should have put Wizards in his camps instead of Jews, homosexuals and opponents, at least the man would have done one good thing in his life.

"You can imagine it made me think twice about allying myself with the man. I told him I would think again about it, came back home to gather more information about this Hitler and then firmly decided I wanted no association with Grindelwald. "

Severus let out a breath he had not known he was holding; relieved his mentor was as ethical as he believed him to be.

"This is an important lesson Severus. You need the more information you can gather to position yourself, least you end up on the side you wanted to oppose."

Lord Malfoy took a drink of red wine before speaking again.

"From then on, I learned about Muggles, decided to know about this threat and act in consequence to protect our world."

He paused.

"Well, where was I with Grindelwald?"

"He had built a fortress in Russia and planned to take over the muggle world and have wizards rule it" answered Severus eagerly.

The lord smiled.

"It is reassuring I am not as boring as Binns, as Lucius sometimes says, if you remember this. So Grindelwald used tactical assassination and bribes to advance his cause. Himself defeated numerous assassination attempts. People were getting anxious and many said Grindelwald feared only Dumbledore. At the time, Dumbledore was professor of transfiguration at Hogwarts and his reputation as one of the most powerful and knowledgeable Wizards of our time was growing. One day, Dumbledore went to Russia, duelled Grindelwald, won and had his former friend imprisoned in his own fortress. It brought Dumbledore fame and recognition even to our day."

Severus pondered all this information. What did it mean to win fame and glory by defeating a friend?

"Now Severus, here is what I wanted to explain to you. Grindelwald was a Slytherin, ambitious and cunning. He is the only living dark lord. Dumbledore gained a lot by defeating him. What could he gain from being associated to him?"

"Nothing" answered Severus.

"Exact. So he distanced himself, lauded Gryffindor bravery that allowed him to win against the cunning of Grindelwald and debased without seeming to all that looked like Slytherin. He took great care of advocating everything that was the opposite of Grindelwald ideas, supporting Muggleborns in their quest for equality. It became especially true after his nomination as headmaster of Hogwarts. He is the one who introduced the muggle study course. And since he became headmaster, Slytherin's reputation has declined steadily."

Severus' mentor sighed.

"It does not help most of the dark wizard remembered in History were Slytherin. People focus on the facts that support their beliefs so they forget as easily that Merlin was a Slytherin. You are a Slytherin. You need to understand why this bias exists. You need to understand it in order to be able to change it."

Severus stared at Lord Malfoy. His mentor was mad. Completely cracked.

An unexpected laugh shook him out of his stupor.

He had never seen Lord Malfoy laugh. The man smiled, smirked, chuckled. He had never laughed in Severus presence. It warmed Severus to see his mentor trust him enough not to control himself as rigidly as he did in public. It also hurt he was laughing at him.

He hesitated, waiting for Lord Malfoy to calm down before saying in a small but petulant voice.

"I do not understand."

The Lord smiled gently.

"Our world needs Slytherins as much as it needs the others Houses. Because of past events, it is leery of us. It rejects those of us who are not influential enough. You cannot reject people without them rejecting you in return. The Wizarding world is creating what he is afraid of. This is why Lord Voldemort and his projects are so important. We need to stop the rejection. We need to accept creatures exist and have the right to do so. We need to show the world that being ambitious does not mean we want to enslave the entire world at our feet. We need to make them understand caution against Muggles is not hating them. We need to show them the world is not black and white."

Lord Malfoy looked at Severus dubious expression and smiled.

"I am old. And I digressed. You are young. You first need to find a reason to do what I told you. This is what I want you to remember."

The conversation remained with Severus a long time. Now and then, he thought about it but always ended up confused. Who in their right mind would try to hold out his hand to someone who rejected him? Why balancing powers within yourself was so important? Could he compare Grindelwald and Dumbledore story with Lily and his?

As with creatures…

Fifth year Severus shivered. He knew what he wanted to do with werewolves…

Sighting, he went on to the last shelf. The fifth year shelf.


	8. Chapter 5 Part1

Thanks to all of you that took the time to review, favourite and follow my story!

AN: This chapter was reposted on 08/23/2017 for correction of grammar and punctuations mistakes.

* * *

Severus was shocked when he arrived home this year. Mother had always been frail but now she looked like she could be blown away by a gust of wind. Her hair was unkempt and grey, her dress full of holes and threadbare. She had always been prideful about her appearance but now she looked like a vagabond.

How she even managed to buy her food in this state, he could only guess it was because people already knew her and pitied her enough to grant her access despite her looks - and because she did pay for it.

His father was home, already quite drunk and looking angrier than ever. He snarled at his son before stomping outside. Severus did not dare ask Mother what was going on, especially when she stared at him with unseeing blank eyes before retreating to her kitchen.

Instead, Severus threw himself into brewing as much as he could. He ate whatever Mother brought him in the laboratory, thus avoiding his father, and only went to bed when he feared making a fatal mistake because of exhaustion. Sometimes, he was unsure if he was brewing or only dreaming he was.

His greatest improvement this year was that he now managed to brew potions of mastery III level. Severus sold those easily despite not having his official mastery because there were always those that could not afford the price of the licensed potions. The license was a guaranty of the potions efficiency and more importantly of its safety. If a licensed potion did not do what it was supposed to or worse harmed you in any way, the healing care was paid by the potion master. It meant potions masters were heavily insured and paid a stiff sum to their insurance but Severus figured it was worth it. As he was unlicensed, Severus sold the potions for a cheaper price but the income was still far more than what he usually earned with simpler potions and in a record time.

Severus noticed that most customers that ordered him potions level III were regulars. He supposed they had had enough experience with their potion to trust them with more complicated ones. It was not rational but it made sense.

After only two weeks, Severus had earned made more than in a full summer of brewing. It became clear to him that potion mastery, even at level III, allowed one to live comfortably. Of course, he would never be able to afford a grand life like most of the Purebloods. But if he was careful with his expenses, he would live a lot better than his parents ever had. If he attained Potions Mastery grade I…

Severus could not help but resent Mother for not trying to reach potion mastery level III. He knew that with some hard work and practice, she could have managed.

He snorted to himself. As if his father would have let her. He still did not understand why she did not left him once and for all. With the potions sales, she could afford to rent a small place and live on her own.

Days passed in the Snape's household, quiet but filled with tension. Severus felt as if time was suspended.

He spent his time in the lab, Mother lived in her kitchen and his father was always drinking again and again, outside with friends or in the house on the sofa without seeing his wife and son. He had not raised his hand on his wife and son since Severus return, who could not help but wonder if it was because he now feared his son or no longer cared enough to even go to the trouble of hurting his family.

Severus worried the hitting had stopped because Mother was broken. Even though she had lost most of her fighting spirit in the last years, Mother had still had some spark in her eyes, remnant of her pride and stubbornness. Now, she wandered eerily in her kitchen, almost like a zombie. He felt on edge, as if something was bound to happen, to break the fragile balance the family had found.

One evening, as Severus was giving one last turn to his anti-vermin potion before setting his timer to wake him up eight hours later for the next step, he heard a great bang then silence. Severus held his breath. Quietly, he set the timer on then silently opened the potion lab door. He closed it behind him as silently as before then soundlessly walked to the edge of the stairs leading down to the kitchen.

His father was shouting.

"You useless witch, why can't you even serve me correctly without breaking anything!"

From his place, Severus could only see Mother cowering, glass fragment around her and red stain on her dress. Severus felt a second of panic before realizing it was the wine from the broken bottle.

"Where is your damned Prince's pride now? Tell me! What good is your manners and your fucking magic if you can't be a proper wife and give good healthy sons to your husband!"

Severus saw his father approach Mother, red in the face, swaying slightly on his feet. For once, he looked focused. Focused on Mother. Severus swallowed, his throat dry.

His father was on a rant.

"Look at you! Who could even want you when you look like that? I don't even know why I'm still here with you, witch! I should leave right now, go far away from you and your abnormal son"

Severus winced. The feeling was not new but it still hurt to hear his father talking about him so harshly. Mother was crying softly. She whispered something to her husband, looking at him pleadingly. It only made him angrier.

"You useless bitch! Don't you dare tell me what I should or should not do! I should kill you! I could snap your ugly neck like I did your wand! Do you remember your wand?"

Severus stood frozen. His father had never threatened to kill Mother before. He had said before that he should have drowned Severus when he was still young or abandon him on the street. But never Mother.

His father took another step, standing just above Mother. His face was an angry red. The vessels popped from his eyes, sure sign he was drunk.

Mother raised her hand in front of her face, as if to protect herself. She muttered something Severus once again did not hear. Whatever she said, it only enraged his father further. With a shout of rage, he took his wife neck in his hands and began strangling her.

Severus did not hesitate. He hurriedly made his way down the stairs and sprang towards his parents. Thanks to another yearly grow spurt, he now was as tall as his father. However, he was still very thin. On the contrary, despite not being in his prime anymore and all his drinking, his father was still in a decent shape with lot of muscles on him. Severus knew he was physically not match for his father. He only managed to raise one fist before his father pushed him, making him fall on the floor.

"Stay out of it, freak! This is between your mother and me."

Severus felt blood in his mouth. His father was a Muggle but he was still more frightening than even Dumbledore. Severus never wore his wand on him when he was home, too afraid of his father getting his hands on it when his son was forbidden from using it to defend himself. Instead, he had found a cache in his room. Memories of his talk with Lord Voldemort flew through his mind. Of course, he was able of protecting children from mere Muggles. And Mother deserved protection as much as the muggleborn children. So, he would use magic to help her if needed and he knew Lord Malfoy and Lord Voldemort would help him if needed.

Silently, he accioed his wand which flew right to his hand.

His father had let Mother go when he had pushed Severus. She had slid on the floor where she remains motionless, except for some coughing fits.

Her husband was approaching her again when Severus got back to his feet, wand raised toward his father.

In his coldest voice, he said:

"Leave her alone or I will hurt you"

His father laughed.

"I know you do not have the right to use magic on me. Your mother tried to reassure me by telling me all about the safety measures taken to protect normal people like me from freaks like you. You will go to the bad wizards' prisons if you hurt me with magic.".

He sneered.

"Even if you could, you do not have what it takes. You're a weakling, like your mother, all almighty Prince that she claims to be."

Severus focused on his mind potions lab, letting his fear be absorbed by the cauldrons fumes. His wand did not shake.

"Things change. Some people are taking steps to protect children like me from their family. They are aware magic sometimes is the only way to defend ourselves. I belong to their group. They have planned ways for me to get away with using magic on you. Hell, I only need to lift my finger and one of them will come to take care of you."

Severus looked at his father in the eyes, willing him to believe his son and leave.

Abruptly, his father took a step back then another. Running, he left the house.

Severus' mind was blank. He did not think it was a good sign but he could hardly bring himself to care. Mother had managed to stand. She was still coughing. More importantly, she was looking at him as if she had never seen him before. She inclined her head once then got up to his parents' room.

Severus did not know how long he remained standing and staring at nothing, wand in hand but one moment his body finally had enough and got him up the stairs, to his room and on his bed without him realizing it.

Idly, it reminded Severus of something he had read in one of his Occlumency books. Occlumens, especially naturals, sometimes locked a powerful feeling in a corner of their mind because they were not able to process it on the moment. It was very important that the Occlumens, once the crisis gone, took the time to process this feeling as soon as possible. If he did not, his magic and his mind would slowly alter until he became imbalanced as well as lost the control of his magic.

The thought managed to alarm him enough that he retreated into his safe place in search of a locked feeling, whatever it may look like. After looking through his laboratory thoroughly twice, Severus realized he had studiously avoided one little trapdoor in a dark corner. Steeling himself, he decisively walked to it, opened the trapdoor and reached for the lone little box that was in it.

Severus hesitated before slowly sitting on the floor. He put the box in his lap then gently opened it.

All at once, he was hit by a torrent of emotions that pressed him on the ground, writhing in pain. Anger at his father, fear from him, resentment, abandonment, fear for Mother, disgust for his genitor, all at once Severus was surrounded by pulsing feelings that threatened to overwhelm himself.

Instinctively, he reached for the comforting feelings his potions lab always gave him and quickly formed a wall of positive feelings to protect himself. It worked well enough he managed to breath normally again.

Sighting against the huge task at hand, Severus focused on his anger at his father.

He acknowledged his father would only ever be his genitor, that he would never see past by his son's powers. Severus admitted to himself he was not that surprised that his father had tried to kill Mother, only that she had done nothing to protect herself. Severus wowed to make her happy now that he was gone.

For every feeling he faced, Severus felt the tempest abate. One by one, his feelings dissipated in his potions fumes and he knew they were under control for now.

Exhausted, he fell asleep until the next morning.

From then on, it was only Mother and Severus. The first few days, Severus lived in anticipation and fear of his father return. Mother did not help. She went from moody to ecstatic in couple of minutes, reproaching her son his father departure then praising him for defending her.

However, it soon became clear he would not, after Mother received a letter from his father saying he was ashamed of his actions and needed some time away to reflect on his past actions.

Severus saw Mother keep the letter preciously, probably hoping this reflection would bring her back the man she had married a long time ago. Severus had no such illusion and was only relieved not to have to watch out for his father's fists this summer. Still, the letter calmed Mother. She seemed content and even hummed sometimes.

Severus was barely relaxing when one morning; he was woken up by a loud bang. His heart racing, his first thought was that his father was back and angry at being locked outside. Severus checked the time - already nine, he never slept that late. He frowned. Listening to the house noise confirmed that Mother was already up. She would not deny her husband entry.

Another bang made him jump from his bed. It was coming from his window.

Severus cautiously approached said window to see the most surprising sight. Lily was here, throwing pebbles to catch his attention as she had once done when they were younger.

She looked focused, angry, unsure and... scared?

Severus threw on a t-shirt and a jean and quickly descended the stairs. He kissed Mother good morning then went outside.

Lily was muttering to herself, probably debating whether or not to throw another pebble or to try a bigger stone.

"Hello Lily" said Severus quietly.

Startled, she dropped her handful of stones.

"Hmm, hi Sev" she answered, almost sheepish.

"So, I got your attention?"

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"With the noise you made, it's a wonder the entire town is not here wondering what's happening"

There. His answer was cool. She could not guess how hard his heart was beating from seeing her, how it had fluttered just hearing her say his nickname.

She blushed but held her head high, challenging.

"We need to talk."

She first needed to apologize, but he doubted she was here to do her mea culpa for their fight over Lupin.

"We do?" Severus asked, conveying as much disbelief as he could in his tone.

*Let's go to the park". She took his hand without waiting for his answer and he let himself be led, enjoying her hand in his.

They settled into their usual corner, Severus painfully squeezing his legs to fit into the narrow crook of their tree roots. It used to be big enough for them to have all sorts of adventures. Severus sighed, thinking about simpler times.

"What do you have to say in defence of the murder of the Muggle committed by your friends?"

"What?!"

Severus stared at her, his mind reeling. He had not known what to expect but this...

"Good you were not in the plans. I did not think so but these days... Now you see how bad they are, you will agree to stop seeing them, right?"

"Wait Lily, I have no idea what you are talking about. Just... give me the story, facts, you know"

Yes, facts were good. He needed facts. And some time to get his mind back from the shock of her accusation and her admission she has believed him able of killing. He had not been able to end his father despite the hurt and pain he had caused him, why would he do better with a stranger?

"You did not read the paper?"

Lily was looking at him expectantly.

"No, Jonathan or Evan sends me the interesting news from time to time."

"Interesting how they did not deem a murder important."

Severus felt his head flush. How dared she? But now a niggling doubt was making his way into his mind, twisting his stomach. What if …?

"Here."

She handed him the newspaper from two days ago. Severus sighed in relief internally. His friends just had not had the time to write about it yet, nothing to worry about. He felt ashamed how her implication they were not trustworthy had made him question them immediately.

Severus read the news avidly:

 _Escalade in the aggression of Muggles, one Muggle murdered with magic!_

 _For the third time since the beginning of July, a Muggle was attacked with magic. While the other two aggressions ended with bruised and a few broken bones, this time, the muggle died. According to our sources, the spell used was Expulso. It projected the Muggle into a wall, the impact causing immediate death. It is unknown at the moment if the murder was intentional or self-defence. There either was no witness to the aggression or they were all skilfully obliviated._

 _The common point between these three aggressions is the rumors about the victims abusing a muggleborn wizard child. Considering this, we are hard pressed to know if we should condemn or applaud this vigilant._

 _Anyway, it seems someone took Lord Voldemort seriously when he said the protection of muggleborn children was a high priority._

 _When contacted, the Lord neither denied nor admitted being the instigator of these attacks. However, he said "I will not shed a tear on wizarding child abusers. These attacks should not have happened because the Ministry should have protected the children much sooner, thus preventing the need for a violent intervention. I strongly encourage Minister Birkins to take active steps to protect every wizard child."_

 _Surprisingly, Minister Birkins did not wish to make any comment._

 _Now we are asking you, dear reader: do you regret Lord Voldemort not being the Minister of Magic?_

Alright, thought Severus. It sounded a lot like Lord Voldemort's project. Especially if the rumours about the victims were true. The article did not mention the name of the victims of the abused so he did not know if they were indeed Slytherins. But the Lord had not wanted to stop his protection at Slytherins so it might not matter. He needed to write to Evan as soon as possible ... but he still owned no owl. As for the murder accusation...

Turning to Lily, Severus let some anger show in his eyes and spoke in a cold voice:

"Where have you seen that Lord Voldemort and his supporters murdered a Muggle? Even if they are the ones that killed this Muggle, according to the article, it was not intentional and in self-defence from a child abuser!" he ended almost shouting. Why was she so bent in seeing the worse in his friends?

Lily stared at him, looking so surprised it hurt. She had really thought this article was the proof she needed to ... save him... from his friends? What world was she living in?

"Sev... They killed a Man. With magic. He could not even defend himself against it."

"He was hurting a wizard kid who could not defend himself either!"

"The kid should have told someone!"

"Maybe he finally did!"

They had both stood during this shouting match. Lily was red on the face, her eyes blazing. Severus was white in contrast, his fists clenched tightly.

"It's still no excuse to kill a man."

"What if it was the only way he would not do it again?"

The question hung in the air between them. Lily ran her hands through her hair, frustrated. Of course, thought Severus, how could she understand when she lived in a nice neighbourhood with a family that loved her, even if Petunia had a nasty tongue and a strong jealous streak?

"You cannot kill all of them."

"I know."

"You could call the police"

"For a wizard?"

"Muggles are not idiot. It could end up in a witch hunt"

Severus sighed.

"If Lord Voldemort was Minister..."

Lily looked away.

"Why are you so sure it's them?"

"Remus told me. I received his letter this morning"

Great, her new best friend had told her, no doubt implying derogatory things on Severus in the meantime. And if it was a letter, no doubt Potter and Black had had a hand in it too.

"Sirius overheard his parents. In truth, they were gloating and said next time, the Muggles deaths would be more painful"

Severus frowned.

"The Blacks are not with us."

"They are with Lord Voldemort."

"I've never seen them or heard of them doing anything for the cause."

"I told you this Lord was not clear. Anyone working with the Blacks on a muggleborn project is evil..."

Severus was not fond of any Black, except maybe Regulus who seemed a nice boy from the few interactions Severus had had with him.

He had to admit he was shaken. But he reminded himself how quickly he had doubted his friends when Lily accused them of murder and there had been a perfectly good explanation. The Blacks link to Lord Voldemort was only hearsay for now so he would reserve judgement but keep his eyes and ears open. The Lord might also want to keep an eye on the Black so they did not put his project in peril with their craziness and unpredictability, just because they felt the powerful house of Black should not be left out of the fun when there was a chance to hurt someone…

"Lily. You have no proof of anything, as you had no proof for the Muggle death. You cannot keep on accusing my friends of the worst things without evidence."

Lily huffed.

Sensing a tirade, Severus went for the kill.

"It's not like you did anything except ignore me when I told you Lupin is a werewolf."

That stopped her cold. Lily always prided herself for her sense of justice, of right and wrong. She could not object to him not acting on her words when she had not done anything in the same situation.

She sighed.

"Fine. But the day I find a damning proof ... And it's still not right to kill a man."

Severus privately thought it was best to be able to if needed. He did not think one should go on a killing spree for fun but at times, being able to kill could save you a lot of heartache. Sadly, Severus was not sure he had the stomach for it. Even if he had thought about it, he had not been able to kill his father to protect Mother and himself. He had been able to plan it, knowing exactly how to do it so he would not get caught, but Severus had not been able to do it. He was scared he was too weak to take a life, even to save his own. Hopefully, he might only not be able to kill in cold blood…

After the drama, the end of summer went quietly, Mother and Severus often brewing quietly together. They also began harvesting what potions ingredients they could in their little garden, be it magical or muggle. They had never dared do so before, for fear of Severus's father wrath.

Severus excused himself to his mentor, writing that Mother was sickly and needed him to take care of her and of the house. Lord Malfoy offered to house them both in his home where Mother would be followed by the Malfoy's family healer. Severus entertained the idea for two seconds before seeing Mother look of horror and declining as gracefully as he could the thoughtful gesture.

His Mentor did not insist but told him again that Severus could contact him whenever needed. It cheered Severus immensely.

Severus was content. His friends and his mentor wrote to him, keeping him apprise of the wizarding world important news. Lucius also wrote a few times, which pleased Severus immensely but he could have done without the letters contents. Most were description of how beautiful Narcissa Black was, how clever and perfect she was, how she had stolen his heart… Severus only remembered her vaguely. He had been careful not to be in her vicinity when he learned she was part of Black's family. He wondered how Lucius could be in love with someone from this line.

Thanks to the potions level III, Severus did not need to spend all his days brewing. He was ecstatic when Mother allowed him to practice spells as long as he did so in the basement. He was grateful because his lack of power still worried him and he needed all the advantages he could get to compensate this weakness.

Moreover, thanks to his father departure, Severus had eaten enough this summer not to look emaciated but he was hit by another growth spurt that left his body sometimes lacking coordination. Severus had to minimize movements during his brewing to the maximum of his abilities. It also made him practice casting with the minimum of wand movements. He could not lose to the Marauders because his body would not obey his mind.

By the end of summer, he felt like he had mastered his body and non-verbal casting. Severus was already able to cast several spells non-verbally before, but now, every spell he knew verbally worked non-verbally and there was no difference in power between his verbal and non-verbal spells, charms and curses – power that he knew to be definitely below most of his classmates. He planned to try wandless casting during the school year, but he feared he would not be powerful enough to manage.

Severus caught a few afternoons with Lily without her ranting on Lord Voldemort. Severus always found it easier to talk with Lily when they were home, far away from Hogwarts. They seemed to understand each other better simply by being here. He was more patient and she was more comprehensive. He knew they could never have had their talk about the murder at Hogwarts without one of them leaving in anger. While Severus was still walking on eggshells around her, their friendship felt better than he could have hoped after their fourth year.

The only bleak point for Severus was that sometimes, his father appeared in the corner of his mind potions laboratory, brandishing his fists but never approaching his son's cauldrons. The image as well as the feelings coming with it sometimes woke him in a cold sweet. Just after the incident, he would also freeze for no distinctive reason after a sound had reminded him of his father. However, with each day passing, Severus' father disappeared a little more into the lab wall until one day; there were no traces of him anymore.

Once again, as Severus left for Hogwarts, he left all the remaining money from their brewing to Mother. If he still saved up by taking her old books and only purchasing those for his chosen options, he let himself be tempted into renewing his entire wardrobe. To be honest, after his latest growth spurt, his clothes were far too short. Most of them were already threadbare and one of his pants ripped off when he tried to magically lengthen it. So, necessity made him buy two entire new sets of school clothes as well as one jeans and one casual pant. He added three t-shirts; one shirt and underclothes to his purchases also bought some dresses for Mother, unwilling to buy himself new clothes while she remained in rags. Of course, buying so much meant it was second hand but he took great pain to take clothes where it did not show.

In the train to King's cross station, Severus marvelled at how better he felt about the upcoming school year simply by not looking like a pauper.


	9. Chapter 5 Part2

Thanks to you who took the time to follow/favourite/review my story.

AN: This chapter was reposted on 08/23/2017 for correction of grammar and punctuations mistakes.

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Fifth year began relatively nicely for Severus. He did not need to brew for mother this year, having earned enough for her this summer so even while experimenting and studying for his OWLS; he had lots of free time.

Severus took great pains to spend as much time with Jonathan and Evan as possible. It felt like first year all over again and the three of them relished time spent playing chess or gobstones, discussing politics, magic, or doing nothing.

Sadly for Severus, Lily was not part of this idyllic picture. They were still partnered in potions but did not do anything else together. She did not even want to study with him anymore.

Of course, Potter and his followers delighted in remarking on this fact every time they crossed paths. Only the fact that Lily was as cold with them as with Severus allowed him to ignore the taunts with nothing more than a few acerbic retorts - when it did not degenerate in free for all fights. But with Evan and Jonathan with him most of the time now that his schedule was less full, those were even fights, despite Severus' lack of power and even with Lupin joining in the fun. Lupin whom Lily was quite friendly with. But there was no way the coward would dare go in Potter guarded territory so...

One memory washed over Severus and he smiled slightly. Lily's unwillingness to spend time with him had had an unforeseen consequence for her.

Severus was leaving the potions classroom, feeling quite bored but nonetheless pleased with the O he had received for his essay on the possible uses of Asphodel. He could do any school level practical his eyes closed, he had brewed them so many times for Mother. He usually finished far before the others, even Lily. As she refused to broach other subjects than potion during class, and only when her potion was finished, it let him with tome to do his homework. Not really challenging but on an OWL year it might be for the best.

He heard his friends laugh behind him and turned to ask what they found so funny. Jonathan looked a bit uncomfortable but Evan gestured toward the front of the class.

A visibly upset Lily was talking with Slughorn.

"I am sorry my dear. You know an E is a good grade." his Head of House was saying, trying to comfort his favorite student.

'Your essay was not as insightful as they usually are. I had already noted it on your two previous ones but chalked it up to the amount of homework that we give you comparing to the years before. However, this essay really is below your usual standard."

Lily looked even more upset, her green eyes getting teary.

"Miss Evans, do not put so much pressure on yourself so early in the year," continued Slughorn, patting her shoulder lightly. "It is nothing to worry about, you just need to get used to the workload."

"Seems like super Lily is not so clever without her personal genius." said Evan gleefully.

Severus was torn between defending Lily's brilliance and a feeling of revenge that made him feel quite happy.

He said nothing, merely shrugging his shoulders.

"I heard her Transfiguration marks dropped too. She only got an A at her last essay." added Evan.

"But Severus must be the only one with Potter whose marks have not dropped in Transfiguration this year." said Jonathan. "I think you got an A to Evan." He added with a pointed look.

"True but I never claimed to be Mister perfect prefect Evan Rosier whereas Evans…" shot back Evan. "And what you did not say is Severus is the only one whose marks in Transfiguration steadily improved from first to fifth year, Severus earning his first O with his last essay!" he exclaimed.

Severus blushed. Years of meticulous studies and Lucius' advice had finally paid off. McGonagall was now teaching the more complex transfiguration theories he had had to study in his younger years to understand the easier transformations his fellow students had managed without knowing the full theory. He merely shrugged again, and the three of them walked to the next class, Evan whistling a happy air, Jonathan a small smile in his face and Severus a slight smirk at the corner of his mouth.

If Severus was the uncontested Potion king among the fifth years –and above according to Evan -, as the days went on, he became more and more worried about the courses requiring spell work. Herbology and Arithmancy were no problem as it was the skill and delicacy with which you used the spell that mattered more than brute force. In most case, blindly pushing power in a spell applied to these fields would actually spring destruction. But Transfiguration, Defense against the Dark Arts, Charms and even Runes were becoming a problem. Severus' spell work was among the weakest when he had still been average last year. Thanks to his understanding of Transfiguration laws and the amount of work he had always put into this course, he still managed to perform as well as most of his classmates. But power was essential for the rest. Worse, the Marauders had noticed and he had to use every ounce of his spells knowledge during their many skirmishes.

Severus was pretty sure the problem was his wand. He wondered at the wisdom of Mother to buy her son a wand which would only work fully if said son faced death sometime in his life. Severus had yet to be on the receiving end of an Avada Kedavra and did not foresee a future when he would have to.

It was also possible his incapacity to kill his father was considered a failure by his wand, as facing death might mean being able to give it. Wandlore was as obscure as prophecies sometimes.

Severus had hoped to circumvent his wand shortcoming by mastering wandless casting but so far, none of the spells he tried worked. Worse, he had the feeling his wand casting was weaker after such training session.

It was even more depressing because Severus had been confident he could cast wandlessly, having already done it once when he had accioed his wand to defend Mother against his father.

Now he wondered if the Accio had only worked because he was bonded to his wand - though how you could be bonded to your wand without it obeying you left him perplexed. Why had they not gone to Ollivander?

So many questions, so few answers... Severus could not wait to begin an apprenticeship and hopefully go into research... if only he passed his OWLS practicals...

Severus sighed. Watching his past self, OWLS practicals seemed a lot more trivial. It was still very important for his future but paled comparing the other events of this year.

The return to school had seemed quieter to Severus than the past year but by October, he realized it had only been the calm of the students not being used to the amount of homework they were given.

Too soon, Gryffindors and Slytherins were fighting covert battles again. Most were under the pretense of pranks but while the first ones were benign, it quickly escalated to humiliating and potentially dangerous ones.

Jonathan once overheard Pomfrey complain to Dumbledore about never having healed so many wounded during a school year before. Dumbledore only answered they were getting ready for the outside world which was getting tougher.

Severus was dismayed when after a Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin that ended with both team in the infirmary with broken bones, Dumbledore only gave two weeks of detention to the teams. The worst part was that the Gryffindor team taunted the Slytherins about only doing homework during their detentions while the Slytherins were cleaning the Dungeons with toothbrushes and without magic.

It might not have been true. McGonagall had been enraged with her team. But she had also looked crossed with the headmaster.

In retribution, all the brooms of the Gryffindor Quidditch team were burned to ashes. There were no witnesses. No student knew how such a feat was possible - except by using powerful Dark Arts if you listened to the rumours. Everyone knew Slytherins were responsible. No one was punished. The tension grew unbearable.

Severus groaned, seeing a new memory unfold. He remembered this one. It had caused a rift in Slytherin which was yet to mend.

Severus was going back to his dorm, alone for once. Evan and Jonathan were in the infirmary as well as two of the Marauders.

He grimaced. Evan had been hit by a spell while defending Severus because he had been unable to maintain a good Protego.

He was frantically establishing research plan, wondering if he should ask Lord Malfoy for help when he stumbled upon the fight.

Well, not much of a fight to be honest. Two sixth years Gryffindors were threatening three Slytherins second years. No, corrected Severus. Two second years Slytherins, Beaulieux and Archard, and one Hufflepuff he did not know but looked to be the same age as the other two.

The two Slytherins pressed themselves tight against the wall under the wand of one Gryffindor while the Hufflepuff was cornered by the second one.

"Why are you conspiring with the enemy, Hickman? We thought you were a Muggleborn but you spend a lot of time with sneaky snakes" the second Gryffindor -Thornby pureblood from a low house, aligned with the Potters supplied Severus memory- was saying.

"They do not care," answered the Hufflepuff – Hickman- "and Archard is a Muggleborn too."

"What lies are you trying to sell?" said the other Gryffindor - Briggs, Muggleborn or New Pureblood, meaning he did not belong to any recognized House like the Malfoy or the Potter- furiously, agitating his wand in the direction of the two Slytherins. "There are no Muggleborn in Slytherin."

"We ought to show you what happens to little liars like you" added Thornby.

Severus did not like what he heard. The situation felt like it could go wrong any moment. On the other hand, his wand had just failed him. Could he take the risk to involve himself?

He could find another Slytherin... and reveal his weakness even more than he had to for classes. or bring one - cunningly- to the place of the fight... but it would take time. Those were lower years, protected by Slytherin's fourth rule...And wasn't Beaulieux an ally of the Malfoy's House? Still, at worst they would know a little humiliation and survive -like he had since ... forever he thought bitterly. They would not be hurt like upper years could be, surely the Gryffindors would not debase themselves by hurting someone weaker... right he snorted in his head.

Severus was thinking so furiously he almost missed Hickman's reply.

"He did not lie to me. We've known each other since we're six. We were together during primary school. We both went to a muggle primary school." he added, looking at Thornby challengingly though his hands were shaking a little.

A Hufflepuff who could have been sorted in Gryffindor thought Severus. So brave and...

"You dare defy me over a snake?" Laughed Thornby. "In this case, you can share their fate"

So stupid to anger someone stronger. Severus had no choice anymore, he knew it. They were remaining friends despite their differences. Oh Lily, he thought sadly. But now was not the time. May his wand work this time. He should look up if Thestrals had a god, to know to whom address his prayers.

"Good afternoon Thornby, Briggs." drawled Severus, walking on the scene but taking great care to place himself where he could see the two bullies.

"Daring to threaten midgets now? How courageous of you."

Briggs swirled toward him, wand drawn.

"Snape."

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"How astute of you. You should have been a Raven."

Watching surreptitiously the younger Slytherins, he smirked.

"Or maybe not."

The Gryffindor frowned, uncomprehending, before falling, his legs caught by the Locomotor Mortis of the smaller Slytherins.

At the same time, Severus was non-verbally casting his own spell on Thornby, focusing on the spell working for the sake of the four of them.

Thankfully, his wand worked beautifully and Thornby fell too, the Petrificus Totalus immobilizing him completely. Severus cast the spell on Briggs, scowling, then made a shooing motion to the three younger students. They ran away, Archard silently mouthing a thank, the others inclining their head briefly.

Severus watched his memory-self sadly. Though his clothes were not worn, his gangly body coupled with his big nose and greasy hair that obscured his face, only showing a scowl and black eyes, made him look like a scarecrow. He needed to listen to Jonathan about styling himself more carefully, if only to secure his future. Appearances were important in Slytherin. And everywhere else in the world, added a gleeful voice that sounded suspiciously like Evan's.

The evening after the incident, a house meeting was organized in the Slytherin's common room.

Years fourth to seventh only were present.

House meetings were rare. There was one the night of the welcoming feast to welcome the first years and explain Slytherin's rules. There was one at the end of the school year. There had been one in his third year after Lord Voldemort's defeat but only for fourth years and above. There had been one at the beginning of his fourth year to explain the sponsorship program for Muggleborns. That was all he could remember.

The prefects had organized the common room as well as made sure all the younger years were in their dorms.

Severus, Evan and Jonathan took seats in the back. There were no comfortable armchairs, only seats which would not hurt your backside but prevent you from falling asleep.

While Jonathan and Evan were wondering about the subject of the meeting, Severus watched with interest as the six prefects each waved their wand in complicated patterns in front of several paintings and sculptures.

All at once, he felt magic around him as a blue dome spread itself to cover the whole common room. The dome faded slowly but the sensation of magic remained.

Severus watched the prefects position themselves to virtually surround all the students. Then Connor McDougall came in front of the assembly and silence fell.

McDougall was the current king of Slytherin. The title was not official; there had been no crowning ceremony. However, he was the most influential boy in Slytherin. Lucius had also been king in his time.

You could become king from fourth year. You knew you were the king when your advice and opinion became the law. Slytherin also had his queen, among the same rule as the king. Differences of opinion between queen and king were messy. When it happened on a highly political subject, it ended by a change in king or queen, depending on the victor.

Severus had not had any contact with the king, except for a few words here and there. They were not in the same year, McDougall was good enough in potions not to need Severus advice and Severus himself was not a social bee. His contacts were mostly with Jonathan and Evan and he liked it that way, although he did talk with others Slytherins and accepted the usual exchange of favors - it usually involved some Potions tutoring or brewing from his part.

The current queen, Elle Doge, was seating near the front. It seemed she was letting McDougall represent them both.

"Dear fellow Slytherin," began the king, voice calm but strong. "We are meeting tonight to discuss the action we shall take in retaliation of the attack on two of our second years by sixth years Gryffindors."

A whisper of outrage rose from the students. Who had dared attack the young ones?

McDougall held his hand, requesting silence. The noise subsided but looking around, Severus saw faces were set.

"No injuries were suffered by ours, thanks to Snape timely intervention." he continued, bowing his head slightly to Severus. Severus bowed back, feeling his face warm.

Students were turning to look at him and congratulate him. Jonathan's and Evan's face were interrogative. He sighed internally. He had not told them because it was inconsequential to him. Though he should have thought of the possible deeper implications for his House.

"Aggressions of slytherin younger years are few but not unprecedented," continued McDougall, calling his public attention back to him. "Slytherin's rules are only ours, and while upper years seldom bother with the younger ones, it did happen before. The attackers have always been dealt with quickly and swiftly."

He paused briefly, watching all the Slytherins.

"However, this attack happened during the climate of tension we all live in lately. The aim of the attack was clearly to hurt a Pureblood. An evil Pureblood. A Slytherin Pureblood. It did not even matter one of the victims was a Muggleborn."

He shook his head, sadly.

"I fear this aggression is only the beginning."

Letting his gaze wonder around the common room, meeting gazes, observing faces, he raised his voice.

"It is one thing to fight us who know how to defend ourselves and give back as much as we get. It is another to target our snakelings. Tonight, we decide how to answer to this attack."

McDougall paused, letting the cheers from the crowd grow. Meanwhile, Doge had risen. She came next to him and with a flourish of her wand; the both of them were standing on a dais. They were ready to debate.

The first one to speak was Beaulieux's elder brother, a fourth year Severus had noticed for being friend with Regulus Black, although the Black's second son was a year younger than Beaulieux.

"We need to do something drastic so the other Houses will not be tempted to do attack our youngest again.

We all know the teachers won't interfere, especially with Dumbledore's bias against us. We all know the fights between us and the other Houses, especially Gryffindor, are getting serious. The younger years cannot get involved if we do not want some serious injuries."

There were murmurs of assents in the crowd. People were nodding in agreement.

"I agree with Beaulieux," said Grant, an energetic sixth year from the Quidditch team. "The two Gryffindors responsible for the attack must suffer an exemplary punishment that will send a message to all the upper years. I already worked on a few proposals with the rest of the team."

Grant exposed several ideas of revenge that impressed Severus enough he took notes in his head for future use on the Marauders. Other Slytherins spoke to refine the plan before it was submitted to a show of hands that unanimously adopted the plan.

People were chosen for different part of the plan; the schedule was frozen. An hour after the meeting beginning, the Slytherin revenge was plotted.

Severus thought it would be the end of the meeting but to his surprise, the queen stood up after the plan was done.

"Dear Slytherins" began Doge, her voice agreeably modulated. "Another question has been brought to us," she gestured between McDougall and herself. "Should we abase ourselves to the other Houses level and pray on their younger years?"

Severus was shocked. When Lucius had told Slytherin's fourth rules in his first year, he had only said that" first, second and third years are not to be involved in political games and alliances." In their day to day life, it meant younger years were considered like children who should be protected, be it physically, or mentally. It also was not restricted to the Slytherins youngest. Well until tonight.

"I do not see why we should respect their youngsters when they attack ours," said Mulciber belligerently. "I think it would send the message we can be as bad as they are."

Severus frowned. He was not fond of Mulciber whom he found too rough and cruelly lacking subtlety. The guy although reminded him too much of Potter, with his group of friends that were just not stupid enough to call themselves Marauders. His only redeemable quality was he had never bothered Severus or his friends. That might only be because of Severus' friendship with Lucius but Severus had not noticed any bullying toward other Slytherins. A little like the Marauders do not harass other Gryffindors, a little voice said in his head.

Severus disliked the idea of attacking younger years. It felt too much like bullying for his liking and he did not think it would improve Slytherin's reputation.

Jonathan clearly agreed with Severus because he spoke firmly.

"I do not think we need to break Slytherin's rule. Our plan should send a strong warning to the other Houses and we not attacking the little ones strengthened our position and give us the better role."

"As long as Dumbledore is Headmaster, we will never have the better role." answered Mulciber.

"True" said Breamont, a seventh year Severus has brewed for several times in exchange for some rare and exotic flowers his family grew in their domain. "I think we need to be as ruthless as they are. We can never do anything right in their eyes anyway."

For two hours, arguments went back and forth, neither side giving way to the other. The two side had valued points in Severus opinion, but he remained firmly opposed to bullying weaker students. Although with the way his wand was behaving, he might go down if attacked by a first year.

In the end, The King and the Queen decided not to break Slytherin's rule for now. They agreed the matter could be discussed again if the situation further deteriorated.

Sadly, the more aggressive faction led by Mulciber was not happy with this decision and Slytherin was divided. It did not show to an outsider but in the common room, the two factions did not mix anymore.

It gave Severus a cold feeling in his stomach.

They did work together beautifully to implement their revenge on Thornby and Briggs. A potion, a spell and a little bit of Dark Arts had the two of them incapable of walking another way than on all fours. Then, they began seeing hallucinations that followed them whispering threats. Finally, they remained in bed for two days for a bad case of gastroenteritis.

The message was well understood because no other snakelings was injured by an upper year.

However, the fights between uppers years continued raging.

In the end, the professors' answer to the growing problem was simple and efficient. They gave so much homework to the upper years they spent their time working in the library or their common rooms. Severus admired their cleverness while Evan cursed them when finally falling into his bed at night. Jonathan only rumbled slightly because why lose energy on something you could not change?

It was quiet after this. The younger years were not as involved in the political scene. While most followed the example of their elders, they were less ardent about it. Pranks were done on each side but in Severus opinion, they had the intelligence to keep it funny.


	10. Chapter 5 Part3

Thanks to all of you who took the time to follow/favourite/review my story.

Still unbetaed.

AN: This chapter was reposted on 08/23/2017 for correction of grammar and punctuations mistakes.

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A new memory rose and Severus smiled. His respect for his mentor grew every time they interacted, either in letters or meetings. Sometimes, he was so jealous of Lucius. He had everything: a loving family, a wonderful father, talent, looks and wealth. But Lucius was like an older brother to him and jealousy always gave way to gratefulness for having them in his life.

Their first meeting of the year happened in November, during the first Hogsmead week-end. Both Evan and Jonathan were spending the Saturday with their family so Severus had been elated when Lord Malfoy proposed to devote his day to Severus.

As more often than not, they met at the Procope where they enjoyed French gastronomy and talked about Lucius and his infatuation with Narcissa Black as well as Severus work in Potions. They discussed spell inventions, one of the Lord's hobbies that Severus shared. Severus was very proud of a spell he had created which allowed one to have private discussions while those outside the area if the spell would only hear a faint buzzing sound. The hardest part of the spell was to define the area it would encompass. Severus was proud of it. He had called it Muffliato. The spell was especially handy because if cast properly, it required only a trifle of power to work. Moreover, it allowed him to talk loudly in the library with Evan and Jonathan without disturbing anyone.

Abraxas had requested a demonstration and was delighted with the result, calling for a round of chocolate macarons -Severus weakness- and butterbeer.

After the meal, Abraxas and Severus focused on his school marks.

"I am a bit worried, Severus, " said Lord Malfoy with a frown. "Your marks have dropped in Defense against the Dark Arts and Charms. Even in Runes, they are not as good as before. "

The man looked at Severus with his piercing blue eyes. He felt himself grow red and lowered his eyes to his lap. Would his mentor understand? Could Severus trust him with this weakness? Would he think less of him? Would the man stop looking at him with... pride and... affection?

"Severus."

He looked up, startled to see the man so close. He instinctively raised his hands but found they were enclosed in the Lord's gentled ones.

"Breathe Severus. Breathe. I know you have a good reason for these marks. I won't get mad. Just breathe. Then you can tell me."

Severus was surprised to realize he was having trouble breathing. He focused in... out...in...out... The Lord's hands squeezed his own in rhythm. Minutes passed in silence until Severus was calm again.

"Sorry Sir "said Severus, wishing he could disappear into the ground while dying to hug his mentor and never let go.

"Hush my boy. I think these marks trouble you far more than they would if it was mere laziness - which I do not doubt it is not. Transfiguration is not you forte but you improved so much over the years. You should hear Lucius, you are one of his greatest accomplishments," Lord Malfoy said with a smile. "Lucius expected you to do really well this year as you understand more complex theory than most of your peers on the subject. Your written marks are indeed O but your practicals are mostly A, like many of your peers I know, but it is disappointing with your grasp on theory. Defense against the Darks Arts has always been straight O for you, with Charms and Runes not far behind but this year, while your essays are still on par, you barely have any E in practicals. Only Potions are still at your usual standard but I don't know if you could fail Potions even if you tried. "

He paused.

"You did improve in Arithmancy though, as you promised you would before summer."

Lord Malfoy stared at him pensively, his eyes kind.

"Please tell me what's wrong Severus. If you want to. "

Severus felt his heart swell, watching his mentor and himself. The man was everything his father was not. He cared. He helped. He listened. He advised. Severus would need to talk to him about Lily and the ... incident.

In his memory, he was now looking his mentor straight in the eyes. Severus did not know if Lord Malfoy could perform Legilimency but he had never felt any intrusion in his mind from his Mentor.

It did not prevent the Lord from reading him expertly most of the time.

Words rushed out from his mouth.

"It's my wand. I think. I do not have enough power in my spells anymore. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't, and I don't know why. I tried wandless magic but I can't do it and my wand works even less after. I don't know what to try anymore. We should have gone to Ollivanders. I only have E or A in practicals when I mostly had O before. I am afraid to fail my OWLS because of my wand." ended Severus lamely.

"Who made your wand if not Ollivanders?"

"I don't know. We went through Knockturn Alley then the Woods before coming upon a wooden hut. The only sign was Wandmaker engraved on the door, there was no name."

"Ah," said Lord Malfoy smiling wistfully. Maverick. My father took me there too. I went with Lucius when it was time."

He sighed.

"Maverick has the reputation for making the best wands... when they work."

Severus felt his stomach drop. Was his wand broken? Or improperly made? The Wandmaker has said Severus could not abandon this wand for another once bonded to it and he knew he was.

"We do not know why his wands work or not, although the materials used to make the wand give you an indication of what is expected from you for your wand to be happy with you." continued his Mentor.

Seeing Severus disbelieving expression -a happy wand? It had feelings? -, he smirked.

"The best Wandmakers consider wands as sentient objects. Like potions, they are made in part from animal, in part from intent and magic. The combination of both gives it a ... goal, for lack of a better word, as well as feelings. From my understanding - and wandmaking is seldom discussed with non-Wandmakers - the difficult part is to let the wand open so it can create a link with a wizard and bond with it to allow him to use the wand to amplify and control his magic. This is where the wood comes into play. It protects the wand essence until it finds a suitable wizard. Then it opens to allow the wizard to use the wand. Thus, the wizard pour magic and intent into his wand each time he uses it, shaping it and influencing the wand original goal. Your wand will fully bond with you and work for you when her goal and yours are aligned."

He paused, frowning.

"Of course, I think it is more complex than this but it is still obscure to me, and even to Wandmakers I suspect. At least, it gives you an idea of the working of a wand."

Severus' mind was buzzing, trying to reconcile his Mentor's explanation with his experience and the Wandmaker's - Maverick- obscure words. His wand had begun failing him in power last year. Was it because it was the year you became an adult in Slytherin, responsible and held accountable for your choices? Was it now expected him to play the hero and court death?

Despite his fondness for this memory, Severus shivered, remembering his interrogations at the beginning of this awful year. Eight months later, he still had no answer. His wand had not improved during the year, even thought he had seen death too close for comfort several times after this day. To be truthful, his wand was unstable, sometimes working perfectly, sometimes failing him lamentably. He was beginning to lose hope; also he should pass his OWLS exams. His wand had performed perfectly during the examinations. He grimaced. But at which price?

In his memory, his Mentor was watching him intently.

"May I ask your wand composition?"

Severus shrugged.

"Ash wood and Thestral tail hair."

Lord Malfoy whistled softly.

"Maverick did not advise against it?"

"He told Mother to go to Ollivanders. She refused because I was her son. She was so proud." Severus said wistfully.

He hesitated slightly.

"I received a letter from ... Maverick a few days before the beginning of first year. It said

 _Your wand can make you one of the best as it can let you be one of the more pathetic if you do not master it._

 _It is a wand to be grown into as it takes time to bond with the ash. The ash chose you because of your potential but the bond between you will need time to grow and you to nurture it. Once the bond is strong, your control of your power should be perfect._

 _It is a wand to be grown into as you will need to prove your valor to tame the Thestral tail hair. It will be hard but remember valour can come in many forms. However, I am sad to say you will need to face death to be able to fully master it. Then it will allow you to use your maximal power._

 _It might never come to be but you have great potential._

 _PS: Once the ash has bounded with you, it will be near impossible for you to choose another wand without this one being broken. If you shall be the one to break it, you will never be able to use another wand without getting only feeble results._

Severus recited the words he knew by heart, having search for hidden meanings so often.

His mentor remained silent a long time, his fingers taping on the table absently. Finally, he sighed.

Looking at Severus, face weary and eyes filled with concealed worry, he spoke gently.

"Wandmakers often possess a touch of clairvoyance. It is necessary when making a wand, especially when you make it the way Maverick does. I think it will not be easy for you to achieve your goals but you already knew this. It is part of why you work so hard at school and why your wand unreliability affects you so deeply. Know I will always be there to help. To listen. To advise."

He fell silent, eyes lost into the distance.

After what seemed like hours to Severus, his mentor spoke again.

"I know it will be for the best in the end Severus."

He then moved on to happier topics and they ended the day with silly Ministry anecdotes from the older man, making Severus forget his worries for the they said goodbye, Lord Malfoy surprised Severus with a short hug.

On the way back to Hogwarts, Severus definitely had a spring in his step.

A new vial opened. Feeling its contents, Severus hesitated then poured it on his lab floor. Fumes went up as the memory took form.

"Hoy Snape" hollered Beaulieux - the fourth year, not the one he had saved from the evil Gryffindors clutches.

Severus raised his head from the chess game Jonathan and he were engrossed in.

"Your Gryffindor Mudblood is ordering you to come outside."

Severus frowned. He could only mean Lily. They had few contacts outside the potions classroom this year, what could she want?

He froze. Of course, she was friend with McDonald, the Gryffindor Pureblood who had accused Mulciber of attacking her. She was coming again to tell him Slytherins were bad, they were murderers without conscience...Or she was trying to get inside information.

Severus did not know what had happened between McDonald and Mulciber. For once, rumours were scarce in Slytherin, Mulciber had not even gloated about it. He had admitted to doing something to her but nothing more. McDonald and Mulciber had a long history together from what Jonathan had gleaned. They had known each other before Hogwarts and while they had not shown any obvious friendship like Lily and Severus had during their younger years; their relationship had changed last year.

Since fourth year, McDonald and Mulciber were always ribbing at each other, throwing covert insults and embodying the rift between Slytherin and Gryffindor as well as the Marauders and Severus did. However, according to Jonathan, it reeked of unwanted attraction between the two of them.

Everybody thought the professors plot to keep the upper years quiet worked - and it did for the most part- but two days ago Mulciber had come back late in the common room, drunk and in a foul mood. He was mostly incoherent, saying the bitch deserved worst and was lucky someone had happened by. He added something about McDonald teasing him before betraying him but was then quickly whisked away by his friends.

Severus had no interest in this story so did not remained in the common room to hear the speculations.

The day after, rumours about McDonald aggression were all around the school.

Two days later, nobody knew much more. Mulciber was still in a foul mood. The headmaster had sent for him and interrogated him several hours in presence of Aurors before letting him go back to the common room. It was the word of one Pureblood against another, there was no proof of Mulciber wrongdoing and that was that.

Sighing, he stood up to join Lily outside.

"Oh, the good little dog running to his mudblood Mistress. She ignores him all the times but when she whistles he comes right away" sneered Mulciber.

Mulciber had been among the ones against his friendship with Lily but he had never been that condescending or insulting.

"Want me to show you what to do with her?"

Mulciber's friends laughed. Jonathan tensed. Mulciber had a sickly smile which made Severus hairs stand on his arms. Mulciber had sided with those who wanted to hurt younger years from the other houses in retaliation for the snakelings attack, Severus reminded himself. But still, this was different.

Or maybe not, though Severus, watching the scene with unease. He had not been shocked by the word mudblood applied to Lily at the time because it was normal to use it to talk about someone you did not respect. But today it was like a punch in the gut - Severus thanked his Occlumency shields for keeping him distant enough from the feelings the memory conveyed and inspired him, but he dreaded the time he would come out of his protected state of mind to face all the feelings he had ignored. The question remained: why had he accepted the word mudblood could apply to Lily? His friends had been careful not to use it for her at the beginning but since she was so distant... not so much he realized, cheeks burning in shame. They were always careful to only use the word in their common room when she could not hear them and reproach it to Severus. He could not be mad at them. They had warned him she was not a true friend to him. They had tried to prepare him for the inevitable let down. Fool that he was. Even with the both of them almost not talking, he had believed in their friendship, taking solace they were different back home. And she always came back to him with questions, interrogations... She still tried to convince him she was right...You only did that if you cared, right?

This evening, she had come to him again; she had trusted him not to lie to her even to cover for his House. Even thought it had been weird.

Ignoring Mulciber - to Jonathan's relief he could tell - Severus went out of the common room.

"Lily?"

"Sev!" She exclaimed, a smile gracing her anxious face. "I wasn't sure you would come."

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"I'm always here for you Lily. You know it."

She blushed a little, her hands straining her sleeves.

"I wasn't sure. We do not see each other much this year."

Whose fault was it, he wanted to ask, but she beat him to it.

"It's not a reproach. With our friends and our homework, my prefect duty... I am glad we see each other in potions class."

Severus blinked. That was nice. Unexpected but nice.

"Can we go talk in your lab?" she asked, looking around a little nervously.

Right. It was definitively about McDonald.

He shrugged.

"Sure. Come on."

They walked in silent until they were in his domain. As always, Lily sat on a desk while Severus sat astride his chair.

"So," she said. "You heard about Mary?"

"McDonald?"

She nodded.

"I heard she was attacked in school but with all the ... pranks... going around lately, it is not uncommon."

"It was no prank Sev," Lily said, almost whispering. "He tried to rape her"

What?

"What did you say?"

"Mulciber tried to rape Mary. There are no witnesses. She refused to show the memory to the Aurors. She refused to press charges. I need to find proofs for her." she finished, looking him straight in the eyes.

She looked both so strong and so frail.

"This is weird Lily. Why not show her memory of the attack?"

"I think she's ashamed."

"But is she accusing him?"

She sighed.

"It is weird. She told me it was Mulciber when I found her during my prefect round. She was... You should have seen her... Her clothes were torn; she had bruises on her... The day after, she said she did not know who had attacked her. But she is always watching, tensing when Mulciber is here."

Severus so not wanted to be here right now. Mulciber's behavior was coherent with what Lily was telling him but it was no proof... why was McDonald not accusing him? Her memory could not have been tempered with after Lily had found her… Mulciber had been interrogated and released... And why had Mulciber said she had betrayed him?

He sighed.

"Honestly Lily, what do you expect me to say? Mulciber did not tour our common room claiming to have attacked McDonald."

She frowned at him.

"That's all?"

Severus wanted to roll his eyes. What did she expect? McDonald was among her friends that were constantly harping Lily on how she should drop Severus like an old sock, preferably stomping on him a few times for good measure before going away forever with her Gryffindor group of idiots.

"What do you want from me Lily?"

She looked at him with disbelief.

"One of my friends almost got raped by your friend and you don't care?"

If he had been any less a Slytherin, his jaw would have dropped. What was going on?

"Lily. First Mulciber is not my friend."

"Really?"

Severus frowned. It was true that compared to the other Houses, Slytherin presented a united front in public, making it hard to know the House politics and alliances. But he had never talked to Lily about Mulciber being his friend so why...

"He's a fifth year Slytherin like me. He never bothered me but we are not particularly acquainted."

"We are not particularly acquainted," she mimicked. "You've always talked well Sev but now... what a politician." she railed.

It hurt. Mother had taken great care her son talked like any Pureblood and it had been an immense help during his first year but to have Lily use it against him…

"I cannot help if you do not like my answers Lily." Severus said stiffly, feeling more and more like this talk could not end well.

She shook her head.

"You really don't care, do you?"

"Lily, that's not true. But what would you have me do?" he pleaded.

She jumped, from the desk, standing right in front of him. He had stood too.

"What if she had been me?"

"Why could it have been you?" Severus asked, feeling out of his depth and like he was missing a huge unsaid part of the conversation.

She looked at him, feelings playing so fast on her face Severus could not follow.

"You really don't get it." She said resignedly.

She left, banging the door and letting him alone and lost.

Severus replayed their talk several times in his mind, kicking himself for not showing more sympathy to McDonald but honestly, he had not known how to react. And Lily had not even insisted he tried wrangling out a confession from Mulciber. It was so unlike her to leave him alone without getting what she wanted…

He let the matter go when her behavior toward him did not change the days after their conversation.

Watching the memory, Severus wondered... Before saying he did not get it, she had fleetingly looked... relieved? She had asked how he would feel if the same happened to her... Had someone inferred all Slytherins would go attack female Gryffindors and that Lily would be Severus' choice? He felt sick, but it sounded like something Gryffindors could come up with. Black would surely relish telling these rumours. And... He had to admit Mulciber could have been the one to whisper these threats to McDonald…

Unwilling to dwell on this disturbing thought, Severus hurried to open the next memory and immediately regretted it. Fifth year was so not his year.


	11. Chapter 5 Part4

Thanks to all of you who took the time to follow/favourite/review my story :)

AN: This chapter was reposted on 08/23/2017 for correction of grammar and punctuations mistakes.

* * *

Severus was running through the castle, fear clawing at his insides. His right hand clutched his wand so tightly it hurt but he did not notice.

His sole focus was to reach the Shrieking Shack in time to prevent Lily from going inside and face a werewolf.

Severus could not believe she had gone there without telling him. He could not believe she had only sent him a message to tell him she wanted to check by herself if he was right about Lupin.

It smelled of a Marauders' trap.

He knew he should not go but he did not know what they had told Lily to make her investigate on her own. He did not think they would let harm come to her, not with the way saint Potter behaved around her. But the idiots were capable of hurting Lily without meaning to.

In her message, she had explained how to get past the Whomping Willow and its aggressive branches, another warning sign that screamed "Marauders! Let's not get there and return to the dormitory".

Sighting the violent tree, Severus slowed down, looking for the knot on its roots that one needed to push on in order to freeze the tree.

The branches were agitated, slashing through the air with a shrilling sound. Severus approached cautiously, and pointed his wand toward a prominence that stood out now he had been searching for it.

"Flipendo"

Everything stopped. The place was now eerily quiet, only disturbed by Severus breathing. Wand at ready, he made his way to the entrance now revealed.

It stank. The passage was damp and dark, the perfect picture of a horror movie Severus had once glimpsed on the TV through the window of a neighbour house.

"Lumos", whispered Severus, careful to control the brightness of the light so that he could see where he went without blinding himself. He walked, as silent as he knew to be when wanting to avoid his father notice. The one good thing his father had taught Severus, without meaning to, was to move soundlessly and even in this unknown place, it served him well.

Distantly, Severus heard a rumbling sound. He felt the hair on his arms rise. His stomach dropped. Mouth dry, he pushed his fear into one of his mind's jars and accelerated, afraid the beast had spotted Lily. In his mind, he quickly checked the spells he had researched in case he had to fight Lupin in werewolf form. He also spared a prayer to Helhestr, god of Thestrals, asking for his wand cooperation.

Coming to a barely opened door, Severus slowly opened it wider and came into the room.

The first thing he noticed was Lily's absence. Relief coursed through him, followed by a fear so intense he thought he would never be able to move again.

A werewolf – Lupin he reminded himself – was in the corner of the room. Yellow eyes focused on him and white teeth glimmered in the darkness. It growled then dashed forward the frozen Slytherin.

Seeing the monster rush to him, Severus' body reacted when his mind was still processing the fear.

"Petrificus Lupinotum!"

The sound resonated in Severus ears. Slowly, he saw the spell come out of his wand and knew he was lost. The spell was on target but it was weak. He cursed the inconsistency of the power in his spells. He cursed his wand who abandoned him in this moment of need. He cursed himself for not remaining in his dormitory.

All this went through Severus' mind while the spell hit the werewolf. The spell should have immobilized it, giving Severus time to either get away or incapacitate it definitively. He did not fancy what would happen to him for killing Lupin and Lord Voldemort wanted to help all creatures so he had studied a non-harmful spell.

It did not matter anymore. The spell was so weak it only angered the beast. Severus saw the enormous white teeth close on him and he could not do anything.

Suddenly, he was on the floor. He could not move but the creature was not on him. He heard sounds of struggle close to him but could not even turn his head to watch. A howl iced his blood. He hoped Lily had not arrived and tried to save him. He could feel he was still holding his wand but did not managed to break the spell that immobilized him despite desperately trying silent counter-curses in his mind. So much time spent practicing silent casting and it failed him when he most needed it. Or rather his wand failed him, he thought darkly.

Seconds passed agonizingly slowly. Severus feared to be bitten at any moment. He raged at the thought of not being able to escape. He raged to forget the fear and the regrets for what he had not lived yet.

The sounds came closer to him and he would have tensed if he had been able to. He felt something brushed past him. It was the end.

But the sounds went away and all was quiet. He waited and waited but no sound returned.

"Snape".

Severus jerked his head toward the voice without thinking.

First, he saw blasted Potter.

Second, he registered he could move and scrambled to his feet, still clutching his wand. Potter had immobilized him. And the werewolf was nowhere to be seen.

"Let's get out of here."

Shaken, not understanding where the werewolf had gone, still seeing those teeth in front of him and oh so close to him, Severus followed Potter without uttering a sound.

They walked quickly and in silent, the night eerie around them. Severus mind was blank. Occlumency did not help because his potion laboratory, his refuge was barred by big white teeth and growls.

Finally, they reached the castle safety. Releasing a breath he had not realized he had been holding, Severus felt his mind work again. Potter had saved him. How had he known unless... Severus did not have the time to finish his thought as the world went black.

Severus sneered at his memory self. He had forgotten to watch his back; forgotten he was with Potter of all people, so frightened by the werewolf encounter...

In hindsight, he supposed Potter had been erasing the Marauders' tracks to try and cover up for the... incident as Dumbledore would say. He was puzzled by the means Potter could have used to control the werewolf -or rather fight it according to the sounds he had heard. Severus was also sure Potter had stunned him back in the shack to prevent him from harming Lupin. He could have died because of it. No one cared.

Potter came back and freed him from the spell. Severus had been ready to attack but was thrown by Potter telling him they should go to the headmaster.

They went in silence. Severus was not surprised when the marauder knew the password to the headmaster office. He was a Gryffindor favourite.

After knocking on the headmaster door, they only waited a few minutes before the door opened on its own.

The headmaster was behind his desk and bade them to sit down. Potter plopped down in his armchair with the ease of someone accustomed to the place. Severus awkwardly sat on the front of his, tightly holding his hands to prevent them from shaking.

For once, Severus noticed the headmaster did not try for the grandfatherly image he usually wore before students. He scrutinized them without letting his thoughts show on his face.

Potter began talking before Severus could even think of something to say.

"Headmaster, sorry to bother you so late but we had a problem with Remus. I saw Snape going to the shack after curfew. I must admit I was coming back from the kitchens for a late snack. I knew he would find Remus fully transformed if he managed to pass the Whomping willow so I followed him. When I arrived at Remus' room, the door was open and Snape was ready to curse Remus. I thought Snape was going to hurt Remus so I stunned him. Then I cast Petrificus Lupinotum on Remus like you taught me. I knew I would have the time to before he attacked Snape, Potter added hurriedly. Then I used Levicorpus to get Snape out then closed the door before the spell on Remus ended."

Severus was stunned. It was so far from the truth he was speechless.

"Mr. Snape?"

Severus looked at the headmaster who was watching him expectantly. He had been so lost in his outrage he had missed Dumbledore's question.

"I am sorry headmaster, I did not hear your question." said Severus stiffly.

"It's okay my boy, I understand seeing a transformed werewolf so closely can be traumatizing."

Severus shivered. Those teeth...

"Mr. Snape, I asked if you had something to add."

Severus steeled himself, knowing it was his word against Saint Potter's.

"I did not harm Lupin. My Petrificus Lupinotum had failed and the monster was almost on me when Potter stunned me. It left the room at some point because when Potter freed me, the werewolf was not in the room anymore. But I was not levicorpused out of the creature's room." he snarled.

"It was not the same place Snape," intervened Potter. "I think you were quite out of it by then. We were in a room prior to Remus'."

"Perhaps the shock altered your memory?" suggested Dumbledore.

"It's not because I almost died I'm crazy!" Severus burst out.

"Do not put words into my mouth Mr. Snape," said the headmaster sternly. "It is known shock can make someone confused about the happenings having a link with this shock. Now what I am curious to know is why you were going to the shack."

Severus explained how he had believed Lily was there and how he had though there was not enough time to warn a teacher.

The headmaster raised an eyebrow and turned toward Potter who was looking at the floor studiously.

"Mr. Potter? An idea why Mr. Snape believed Miss Evans would be there?"

Potter shook his head mutely, in negation or refusal to answer no one knew.

Suddenly, Severus understood. A cold rage seeped through him. It could only be ...

"Minky" called Dumbledore.

A house Elf appeared, bowing to the headmaster.

"Would you please bring Mr. Black here?"

The Elf bowed and disappeared. A few minutes later, she reappeared with Black.

Black did not look like he had been woken up only minutes ago.

The arrogant marauder looked around him, bowing slightly to the headmaster and sneering at Severus who sneered back.

"Mr. Black. I asked you to come here so that you may shed some light on an interrogation I have"

"Yes sir", answered Black charmingly.

"Would you know why Mr. Snape received a word from Miss Evan stating she would be at the Shrieking shack tonight to check if Mr. Lupin was indeed a werewolf?"

"Well, it was just a prank," shrugged Black. "Sniv… Snape has been spying on us for a long time and I overheard Lily yelling at him for daring to think Remus was a werewolf. I thought if he saw Remus in Wolf form, he would be scared and stop spying on us."

Severus stared at the idiot.

"You did not think Mr. Snape could be hurt and infected in the process?"

"Well, no," answered Black. "I only wanted to scare him."

Severus was seething. He believed Black was too stupid to think of what could happen when you used a werewolf to "prank" someone. However, he saw clearly the Marauder did not care Severus might have been hurt or worse.

"You did not think Mr. Lupin might be expelled and even executed for hurting a student? Or for killing a student? I remind you Mr. Lupin's condition is a secret for a reason."

Black whitened. He clearly cared for Lupin and only now realized what could have been his "prank's" cost for the Marauders.

It should not have but to have his life so carelessly and easily dismissed - even by someone he despised - while the life of another clearly mattered hurt Severus more than he cared for. It hurt to the point the horror from the night was fading away, replaced by hurt and anger.

Severus shove the hurt in a potion jar and focused on the anger, making the flames under the cauldrons of his mind grow bigger and bigger until potions fumes and fire suffused the entire laboratory.

Dumbledore watched his three students in silence, as if trying to gauge their mood. He turned toward Severus again, catching him unprepared and failing to lower his gaze on time.

"Mr. Snape. Would you be willing not to talk of this incident to anyone, for the sake of Mr. Lupin's life and education?"

At the same time the headmaster finished his question, Severus felt a slight brush again his Occlumency shields. The brush faltered against the potions fumes, then glided against them, looking for an opening that did not exist.

Fifth year Severus smirked. He had been outraged at the time by that second breach of privacy but now he was just proud to have blocked Dumbledore successfully.

The headmaster frowned, watching Severus as if trying to see through him.

"Mr. Snape. Mr. Black and Mr. Potter. I see no other choice than to ask you to make an unbreakable vow about tonight events. I must protect every student of this school and Mr. Lupin deserves no less from me."

Severus was stunned. How dare he? There really was no end to the man's favoritism and bias. He was asking Severus, the victim, to never talk about the night he was almost killed because Black was a pretentious idiot and Dumbledore liked to play god by keeping a dangerous beast so close to his students? Who did he think he was?

Enraged, Severus answered as calmly as he could in his coldest voice.

"I fail to see why I should take such an important oath to protect my almost murderers, Headmaster. And I still have not heard about measures to be taken to prevent a repeat of what almost happened tonight, nor about punishments."

The headmaster did not answer but suddenly, Severus could feel the man's power and had to resist the sudden urge to cower under his chair. Dumbledore was surrounded by power, his eyes clear and cold piercing through Severus like a glaive.

"Do not presume to tell me how to run my school Mr. Snape. Tonight's prank was ill advised but meant no harm and nobody was hurt. I am protecting the only innocent and victim here, Mr. Lupin, whose only fault is to have been bitten as a child by a malicious person."

The power faded, and the Headmaster looked at him almost gently. Severus might have been swayed by his next words, so shaken as he was, but for his cold eyes.

"If my memory is correct, Lord Voldemort advocates strongly in favor of werewolves' rights. I think he would disapprove of you having one executed."

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair, looking at Severus expectantly. Black was glaring hatefully at Severus. He might have been afraid if he had not already faced much worse this night. And for once, Potter looked lost.

Severus shook his head. Watching this memory, seeing Black's expression... He should have expected revenge. And he had for a time. But Black had spent so much time trying to make Lupin forgive him ... And then Severus had been focused on his OWLS ... And then...

Right, back to the memory.

Severus was furious. Lord Voldemort could go hang himself with Dumbledore, the Marauders and the others if he chose Lupin over Severus! But he would not; Dumbledore just wanted Severus to agree with the unbreakable vow.

"I fail to understand the need of an unbreakable vow on this matter. It is an engagement quite extreme just to cover up a ... prank." said Severus, sneering on the hated word.

"If you do not, I will expel you from Hogwarts. I cannot in good conscience allow in this school a student who would lead another to his death. Mister Lupin deserves schooling as much as any other young man. Do not doubt that if it comes to this, there will be a sufficient motive to expel you. Your tale about a werewolf will be seen as a tentative of revenge against Hogwarts, nothing more. And No other major school will accept you once the cause of your exclusion is known, I can be … creative when need be. You might pass your OWLS on your own but afterwards..." trailed Dumbledore, eyes as hard as diamonds.

Severus wanted to throw up. Some said the Headmaster was merely blinded by his hate of Slytherins but this… Had not Black led Severus to his death? But he was not threatened with expulsion. Maybe because he was the heir of the important and deranged House of Black…

Severus struggled to keep his mind clear of his fear and hurt. He needed to pass his OWLS and NEWTS and beyond to take care of Mother... and to have some hope of improving his life. He refused to live the same kind of life as his parents had. He needed someone to help him get out of this mess. Help…

"I want to consult my legal guardian for advice, as I am still a minor", said Severus, hoping the argument would work. At the beginning of his mentorship, Mother had agreed to give Lord Malfoy conjoint legal rights over her son in the magical world because if could act quicker than her if Severus needed an adult. He really needed one now.

"Of course my boy," answered the Headmaster genially. "I am sure Professor Slughorn will be happy to advise you."

Sensing Severus protest, he added with a pointed look.

"I remind you your head of House acts in locos parentis during the school year. Professor Slughorn is actually your legal guardian right now."

Severus wanted to knock the satisfied look from the old man's face. He wanted to punch the wall. He wanted to have remained in his dorm tonight. He wanted… his mentor with him right now. But he would not be this lucky. Not tonight. Not ever said a little voice in his mind, sounding suspiciously like his father's.

Resigned, Severus squared his shoulders.

"Very well. I will take your bloody oath."

"There is no need to be rude Mr. Snape. I will let it slide because of tonight's shock."

Severus glared at him but Dumbledore paid him no mind.

"Right Mister Snape. Repeat after me…"

"No," said Severus sharply, looking the Headmaster right in the eyes. "They will take the oath before me."

The headmaster looked at him expectantly.

"Sir." added Severus through clenched teeth.

Dumbledore remained silent for what felt like an eternity to Severus but wisely did not insist and turn towards the two Gryffindors who – in Severus opinion - looked far too comfortable considering the situation.

"Mister Black."

"Yes sir."

Dumbledore made a complicated yet beautiful motion with his wand on the wand of the marauder before asking to repeat after him.

"I, Sirius Orion Black, swear never to talk of tonight events to any person other than those present in this office tonight and Mister Lupin. Those events include the preparation of the prank for Severus Snape, the prank itself as well as the discussion in this office. So be it."

Black repeated the oath loudly. A blue lightning between his wand and Dumbledore's sealed the vow. Then it was Potter's turn.

While the marauder took the oath, Severus was thinking furiously. What could he do to take the oath without it being binding? Mother always said Magic was mostly intent. His Mentor also stressed out the important of one's intention when casting a spell. All his professors did. Should he take the oath while focusing on how much it repulsed him? Maybe if he combined it with Occlumency…

"Mister Snape."

Dumbledore's words were like a cold shower.

"Your turn."

Quickly, Severus focused on his potions lab, flames still high from before. He focused on the fires. He focused on the fumes. He focused on his disgust, his fear, his repulsion, his refusal of this forced oath. He focused on the injustice of it all. He focused on his almost death. Then, struggling to keep all of this feelings in his mind, he took the oath.


	12. Chapter 5 Part5

Thanks to you who took the time to follow/favourite/review my story!

Story still unbetaed.

AN: This chapter was reposted on 08/23/2017 for correction of grammar and punctuations mistakes.

* * *

As he uttered the last words of the vow, Severus felt like a shape of lead setting on his mind, his fires losing intensity suddenly. He renewed his focus on the flames and felt the shape shrike and lighten until it felt as if a light silken sheet had melted into his potions fumes and covered a little part of his mind. Severus knew he could not let Dumbledore suspect anything so hoping he had at least lessened the vow, he let his attention return to the Headmaster's office.

The headmaster was observing him. After several minutes, seemingly satisfied, he spoke.

"There is another matter I need to bring to your attention. Mister Potter saved your life, Mister Snape. He is neither a friend nor a member of your family. Your families have no ties. You two are in fact what I would call Arch-enemies. It means Magic now recognizes that you, Mister Snape, owe a life debt to Mister Potter. Mister Potter can choose to collect this debt anytime he wants to, but Magic will only consider the debt paid when what is given is worth as much to you as your life is."

He paused, watching his students.

Potter's face was a mix between surprise, resignation and satisfaction.

Black was gleeful.

Severus was white. Without Occlumency, he would have fainted. Or gone into a rage. But no.

"Is that all Headmaster?"

Seemingly unconcerned, as if he had not dropped a bomb to end Severus' wonderful evening, Dumbledore answered.

"As long as you have no question on life debts, you may go Mister Snape."

Shaking his head to indicate he had none, Severus left the Headmaster's office while the two Marauders remained. He went down the stairs in autopilot, thoughts circling through his mind. What had really happened in there?

Severus knew he had tweaked the unbreakable vow but would it be enough? He had to research the functioning of bonds but was pretty sure there were no interesting books in the library on the subject. He had almost finished the seventh-year Defense against the Dark Arts curriculum and magical bonds were only given a brief look. Bonds were considered advanced and dangerous magic because most of them were dark. Indeed, most bonds required a sacrifice. Severus was surprised unbreakable vows were not forbidden by the Ministry because the subject lost part of his freewill. He supposed it was too useful to ban.

Severus wondered if he could bring his questions to Lord Malfoy. It would be difficult without knowing the boundaries of the vow but if he approached it like a research project of his own, it might work. Severus would have to be careful in wording his request not to raise his sponsor suspicion. Bonds were not common research for fifteen years old after all. But this should help Severus for his understanding of both the unbreakable vow and the life debt.

Severus felt his stomach tighten when the thought he might owe a life debt to Potter of all people escaped his mind laboratory fumes. Suddenly, his hands were shaking badly. In fact, his whole body was trembling. Adrenalin must have run out and now that the tension was leaving him, Severus control was slipping. As quickly as he could, he went to his potion laboratory where he sat on the cold floor, rocking himself and focusing on his mind potions fumes until he felt like he could walk.

Severus sighed. And the year would not get better. But something Dumbledore had said in the memory nagged at his mind. To pass his OWLS on his own... Why not try to pass his NEWTS on his own? He had studied in advance in Potions, Defence against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration already. He might manage a passing grade in Arithmancy and Runes, depending on the date of the exams. It would have to be before September if he wanted to find an apprenticeship. Worse, he needed the results before September so... NEWTS at the end of July if there was a session. He should also try for care of magical creatures but he would lack two years of practicals.

Merlin, the only NEWTS he knew he would pass was Potions.

He had to look into it.

But first, he needed to finish this travel in his memories.

Severus grimaced. His temper had always been short, and even atrocious in his third year when he had had to contend with Marauders, brewing for Mother, fear for her who remained behind with his father, guilt for leaving her with him, stress from studying transfiguration, frustration with Lily, growing pains ...He had thought he had reached the worst he could be back then. Werewolves brought out a whole new level of meanness in him.

Severus watched his memory shimmer in front of him, reluctant to enter it but knowing he had to. Scolding himself for being afraid of assuming his past actions, he went in.

One week after the werewolf ... prank, Severus nerves were frayed. Ready to snap at any occasion. The younger Slytherins - and even the older ones - avoided him. Only Jonathan and Evan dared sit next to him, chatting quietly and sending worried looks his way.

He was pale as a ghost. His eyes were shuttered, black like the voids in the universe. Dark shadows under his eyes made him looked like he had been punch in the face twice with utmost precision. His hair hung in front of his face, greasier than ever. His mouth was frozen between a perpetual scowl and a wild snarl.

He was frightening. He did not care. He had hurt several of his peers during the last Defense against the Dark Arts class. They were supposed to practice the Accio spell for the third session in a row. His spell was seldom strong enough to take the book from Jonathan's hand and fly it to his own. Ironic, knowing his first bout of accidental magic had been to bring his ball to him.

This time, Severus had taken the book from Evan's hand. He had also wrenched the books from everyone practicing and inadvertently brought all of them on Corbin's head - Corbin was a haughty ravenclaw Muggleborn-, a few rebounding on other classmates. He had been quite happy with this unexpected feat because at the time, he had been angry at the Raven for mocking Severus lack of success while lazily accioing his book from his partner's hands.

Their idiot professor only told Severus to mind the power of his spells then returned to his desk while the entire class gaped.

Most laughed when his next try only produced a small cloud of smoke.

When the bell rang, Severus stormed from the class to join his common room, Jonathan and Evan trailing behind. He immediately began his homework, focusing on the happiness charm theory and how to best structure his essay to answer the question "How can you enhance, or on the contrary lessen, the effects of the happiness charm? Explain and illustrate with examples which will be practised during class."

Jonathan and Evan settled next to him and began talking about their Potion essay.

Severus wanted to close his eyes in shame, not to watch what was going to happen next.

His memory self was scowling, silently muttering to himself. He was in the middle of explaining how a giggling potion could enhance the happiness felt by someone under the happiness charm, but only if the person was not ashamed of expressing his joy with giggles - meaning it would have absolutely no effect for Severus and might even nullify the impact of the charms- when he heard Jonathan.

"OK Evan. I don't see where you read that ladybird's legs can be used instead of frog's legs in the confusing potion. It does not make sense when..."

Slash. Claws ripped in front of Severus, almost startling him. He growled, pushing the wolf behind his mind potions fumes.

"See here, explained Evan to Jonathan, for a memory potion, they use ladybird's eyes, so I though in our case we could extrapolate and..."

Yellow eyes were watching Severus as he tried to continue his essay. He felt his hairs rise. He had to focus on the essay.

"Come on Evan, why do you think…"

The Wolf was growling now, preparing to pounce on Severus.

"Jonathan, you are so narrow-minded. Be a little imaginative. I am sure we can translate some ingredients from this memory potion for our project and ..."

"Can't you stop blabbering you idiot," snapped Severus while he struggled to ignore the wolf jumping above him. "Ladybirds are known for retaining memories while you want to confuse someone, meaning you want him to lose his memories or at least his certainty in his memory. How is it so hard for even your little brain to comprehend?" he finished, his words razor edges that cut easily into his friend.

"Severus," intervened Jonathan. "It is not that evident. You can discuss..."

"No, you cannot. You are only trying because you are being a negotiator," Severus sneered derisively. "Always avoiding conflicts because you cannot stand them. Better an idiot than a coward." he finished, standing suddenly to escape to his potions lab, leaving his two stricken friends.

Breathing heavily, Severus let himself fall on the ground, shaking.

The look on Evan's face... and Jonathan's...

Why did he say those words to his friends? To shut them up so he could concentrate on not thinking about the werewolf he answered himself. But he could have asked them to without being so hurtful... The fear was controlling him. Day and night. He spent his nights in the passage leading to the room, surrounded by growls and yellow eyes. During the days, he replayed the memory in his head. Occlumency did not even bring him peace. He had tried to lock the memory in his lab, but potion ingredients kept morphing into werewolves' parts that threatened him from their shelves and tried to get out of their jars. Werewolves' growls came from his bubbling cauldrons, over and over. Only focusing totally on a complex subject brought him solace.

It was no excuse.

He had to apologize. If they let him.

He could not hurt them again. He had to find another way.

Severus skipped dinner, stomach hurting, while trying to compose his apology. When he finally went back to his room, Jonathan and Evan were on Jonathan's bed. They ceased talking when he opened the door.

Severus closed it carefully. Hanging his head, he went to stand in front of them.

Evan glared. Jonathan kept his face blank.

"I am sorry."

They stared. Severus swallowed thickly.

"I am really sorry. Will you... still be ... my friends?"

Severus hated himself for the pleading in his voice. Weakness. They were his friends, it should not matter. They were Slytherins. Of course it would. Wouldn't it?

Evan and Jonathan looked at each other then sighed. Jonathan stood up and dragged Severus on the bed between the two of them.

"Of course we will, you idiot" said Jonathan.

"Yeah, you can be quite dumb for a genius" added Evan smirking.

Severus felt the tension inside him uncoil but fought to remain vigilant.

"What is going on Severus?" asked Jonathan. "You look like a cadaver."

"Even more than usual." piped in Evan

"You were quite relaxed - for you - this year but suddenly one week ago you just... changed!"

"Now you are scaring the firsties and the seventh years alike!" added Evan helpfully.

"I bet it got something to do with the Marauders falling out" said Jonathan, watching Severus carefully.

His friends were looking at him earnestly. He should tell them. They could help him. Maybe.

The moment he decided he was telling them that Lupin had almost killed him; he felt the sheet covering his memory stir. Clearly, the oath was at least partly active.

Severus frowned. He prodded the sheet in his mind, watching as some parts felt welded to his memories while others just rested on them.

He might be able to tell the incident if he censored some information. Magic recognized intent. Dumbledore's main concern clearly was Lupin's safety and anonymity - as well as his own career, because allowing a werewolf to study in Hogwarts could destroy the Headmaster's reputation. The oath should have focused on this intent. It should allow Severus to say he had almost been mauled by a werewolf because of a prank. His slytherin friends should draw the right conclusion quickly enough. Lots of should in this but he had to try. For his sanity.

"A ... prank happened, " said Severus carefully choosing his words while closely looking at the sheet in his memory. It did not move.

"A week ago, I had a close and unfortunate encounter with a... creature"

While Severus was speaking, the sheet had begun weighting more and more on his mind. Severus had to shift the word werewolf to creature to avoid suffocation. Even then, he felt like he would never be able to think again. The sheet was putting heavy pressure on his mind. He tried added the Marauders had done the prank but found he could not speak, no matter how much he willed himself to.

"Severus! What's wrong?"

His two friends looked alarmed. He realized he was breathing hard, with difficulty. Alright, time to stop speaking about the incident.

All at once, the sheet released its hold on his mind and he could breath. And think.

"Okaaaay," said Evan. "You clearly cannot speak of this ... prank easily so someone important made you take a silent oath."

"Unbreakable oath I think," added Jonathan, thinking furiously. "It's the only oath people in this school do not considerate Dark with the exceptions of Slytherins. Although it should have prevented you from speaking of it, even in the vague way you did… Unless it was badly cast..." he finished doubtfully.

"Unless Severus is a genius as usual," said Evan emphatically. "Hmmm, it could have been a Slytherin if he wanted to protect his secret... If he owned a creature dangerous enough to scare Severus… Blackmail material if you ask me."

"No, Severus said it was a prank. No Slytherin would consider a creature that shook Severus that badly prank material. No Hufflepuff either I think. It means Ravenclaws or Gryffindors… I just don't see any student casting an unspeakable oath or you agreeing to take it for a student in the first place. But I don't see any adult playing a prank on you either," said Jonathan frustrated.

He shook his head.

"Anyway, it was sure Severus would see the creature at some point but be expected to survive ...When you say prank, I think Marauders, especially as they were not their usual united group this past week, but I don't see them with a dangerous creature... "

His eyes widened and he looked at Severus in alarm.

"Wait, you thought Lupin was a werewolf last year. If he is..." trailed off Jonathan, watching Severus for some sign of agreement.

Severus did not dare say anything, feeling the sheet alert in his head. He only gave Jonathan a little smile.

"But no way Severus would have taken an oath for them," said Evan, frowning. "So… Dumbledore?" he asked, both disbelieving and resigned

Again, Severus smiled. He was exhausted. His head was pounding. He had managed to talk to his friends.

"Of course." snarled Evan, fist pounding on the bed. Again and again.

He remained silent, murder in his eyes. Suddenly, he turned toward Severus.

"Must have been a really close call to have you so out of sort. And with the oath preventing you from speaking of it... Merlin Severus, no wonder you were snappish!"

Severus only shrugged. What could he say?

"Were you hurt?" asked Jonathan, suddenly worried.

Severus shook his head mutedly and his two friends visibly let out a breath. They began arguing about ways to denounce the incident and Dumbledore's involvement.

Suddenly, Evan turned to Severus.

"Have you tried looking for loopholes in the oath? I don't think you can tell us the exact wording but seeing you managed to tell us something, there must be a weakness. '

Jonathan frowned.

"It sounds unlikely from Dumbledore but Severus did talk to us."

In truth, Severus had been too focused on not thinking about anything werewolf to look for any loophole. In fact, he wanted to slap himself for assuming any oath crafted by Dumbledore would be perfect if not for his Occlumency.

So, weaknesses.

 _I, Severus Tobias Snape, swear never to talk ..._

Hmmmmm he should be able to write about the incident. Or even show his memory...

 _of tonight events to any person..._

Ah, what qualified a person? Would a goblin be a person or a creature... or both? And which creature would want to help Severus?

A ghost maybe. The bloody baron gave advice to Slytherins sometimes.

 _other than those present in this office tonight and Mister Lupin. Those events include the preparation of the prank for Severus Snape, the prank itself as well as the discussion in this office. So be it._

Severus really had a hard time calling the incident a prank. Could this difference of view give him some leave away? He had been able to use the word prank. But he had had difficulties telling Evan and Jonathan details about this prank so it clearly was not enough.

Also, the word werewolf was not in the oath but he had not been able to say it, the oath reacting violently. How strange… Bonds really were complex magic. He needed to find more information.

But first, to test his theories.

Under the curious eyes of his friends, Severus went to retrieve some writing material. He settled on his bed.

I was attacked by a werewolf. At school. It was a prank.

 _I fear werewolves. I learned about them at school. I hate pranks._

Severus blinked. He had not written what he thought he had. He frowned, concentrating on his writing and augmenting his potions fumes.

 _I saw a werewolf too close. I am afraid at school. People have funny definition of pranks._

That was not working, although he had been able to write the word werewolf. One theory done until he found someone who could lend him a pensieve to show his memories to his friends.

Alright, he needed to find the Bloody Baron.

The slytherin ghost was a taciturn sort although he always helped the first years find their way in the labyrinth the castle was.

All Slytherins knew that if you wanted to talk to him, you must stand in the corner of the common room where three stone snakes were entwined.

Why here was a mystery but it always worked. When the baron appeared, you asked your question and he would either answer you or disappear. Severus had not talked to the baron since first year. He had noticed the prefects, the queen and the king were the ones who called for him the most.

Severus waited less than two minutes before the Baron appeared.

"How may I help Slytherin's genius?"

Severus knew he had not completely hidden his surprise. There was pride in the ghost voice.

"I will try to tell you something important." blurted Severus, unbalanced by the recognition of his worth by his House's ghost.

"I see," said the Baron.

Severus believed him. He felt like the ghost understood a lot from these few words.

"Say what you can, snakeling."

Severus smiled, watching himself bristle at the term. Of course, he was a mere child compared to the Baron. He really should speak more with the ghost, if only because he was curious about the genius title.

He sighed.

Back in his memory, he was choking on his words. So much for that theory.

"Why did you think you would be able to talk to me, young Slytherin?"

Severus breathed heavily.

"I thought maybe you would not count as a person."

He waited uncertainly, knowing he might have offended the ghost but unwilling to lie.

Instead, the Baron gave him a sad smile.

"I am honored you were not able to talk to me."

Severus frowned. What did he mean?

Before he could ask, the Baron was talking again.

"Hogwarts first priority is her children. But how do you protect some when it means abandoning others?

She was created by human beings through magic; as such she is as fallible as any of them. She chose her headmaster, one of her criteria being he must have an almost equal repartition of the four houses traits in himself. Sadly, it does not mean he will love all his students equally. Hogwarts can not foresee how outside events will affect her chosen. But it is also hope that people can change..."

He sighed soundlessly.

"These days, it almost feels like Hogwarts is fighting against herself. How can you win against yourself without losing?"

The Baron disappeared before Severus could even think about asking a question.

That was weird, he thought as he walked back slowly to his room. The Baron must have a reason for his speech but it let Severus baffled. Same as some of his discussion with his Mentor. What stuck with him though was that the ghost had been honoured by Severus inability to speak to him.

Entering his room, both his friends looked at Severus expectantly. He shook his head and set himself between the two of them.

They remained silent, enjoying the comfort their closeness gave them. Jonathan was the one to speak.

"While you were gone, Evan and I thought of something. "

He hesitated then continued.

"Lord Voldemort wants to improve creatures' conditions. I think he would support you if you managed to talk to Lord Malfoy about the prank but…"

Severus nodded. He knew Dumbledore had had a point. But he wanted to have the choice whether to tell or not.

"We don't care, said Evan vigorously. If you want us to, we will work with you to make the Marauders pay for what they did. Even if it works against Lord Voldemort's. "

Severus smiled gratefully. Politics were important to Slytherins. Going against it meant a lot from his friends.

"It's enough you know for now. I just need to find how to break the oath."

They remained in their room and played chess, allowing Severus to focus on the game and forget about werewolves for a few hours.

That night, as he lay in bed, sleep refused to come to Severus. His brain was working furiously. He could not let his fear control him anymore. He was hurting his friends. He needed to gate a grip. Werewolf teeth flashed in front of his eyes and he shivered. How could he feel safe again? He knew he would not be able to defend himself against a werewolf thanks to his traitorous wand. How ironic. He had faced death and yet... Or did his wand consider he had failed to face death because of Potter?

No matter. How could he win against a werewolf without his wand? Or maybe… Yes, he had to find a spell that would work no matter his lack of power. Furiously scanning the numerous spells he had learned, Severus came to the conclusion none were suitable. Either they demanded too much power or would not affect the wolf. Indeed, magical creatures were resistant to many spells that worked on wizards, thanks to their innate magic. He had to create a spell that required little power and hurt a magical creature… so a spell that used the magic in the creature to hurt it… yes, the more you had magic in you, the more effective it would be….

But it would take some time to work the spell out. During this time… he would concentrate on his anger instead of his fear… and unleash it on people he did not care about …

Severus smirked at the thought from his memory self. He was proud of his spell. More of a curse really. Sectusempra.

His curse opened deep gashes in the body of the creature to drain the magic from it until it died. It could only be reversed by his counter-spell, Severus had made sure Finite Incantem or other such generic counters did not work. He had tested it on himself to be sure. He knew it was not one of his smarted moves but he had been... upset at the time.

A side effect of the gashes, which were necessary to reach the magic of the creatures, was that the spell worked on all living creature, magical or not. It comforted Severus that his spell would also work against his father if he ever dared come back.

The spell did not require much power because it fed on the magic inside the creatures. Non-magical ones simply bled out. The spell could not feed on their magic but they did not have magic to strengthen their body so the blood loss was enough to kill them.

Power from the caster was only needed to open the first gashes. Skin usually was fragile so only a small amount of power was needed.

It would require a lot more power to pierce a dragon hide but in this case Severus would cast two Sectusempra in a loop. The first one would be for the eyes or tongues, soft and unprotected parts of the dragon. It would begin draining magic from the dragon. Severus would then cast a second Sectusempra linked to the drained magic and aimed at the dragon's body. The second spell would take power from the dragon's lost magic instead of Severus', allowing for more power without risking an exhaustion of his magical core. The more the spell work, the more it drained magic, the more powerful it became.

This kind of casting was Dark and forbidden. Mother had made sure Severus mastered it. It was precise and complex, the more dangerous part being the creation of the link between the outside magic and your spell.

You had to be careful not to absorb the foreign magic because it could overflow your core or taint it. The results were either death or madness, right then or years later.

Severus had been careful to construct his spell so the drained magic was not absorbed by the caster but by either earth or water. Using two of the major elements ensured it would merely join the magic present in the world without causing unbalance.

Severus felt a pang of sadness at the idea of killing a proud creature like a dragon. At least, there were none hidden in the school.


	13. Chapter 5 Part 6

Thanks to you who took the time to follow/favourite/review my story.

Special thanks to Fenris Jin, Suzululu4moe and PiffyEQ for their reviews who helped me without them knowing !

AN: This chapter was reposted on 08/23/2017 for correction of grammar and punctuations mistakes.

* * *

Taking a deep breath, Severus stilled himself for the next memory.

Two weeks before Christmas, Severus had been surprised to receive a letter from Mother. She asked him to come home for Christmas because she missed his company and wanted to enjoy the festive season with her son.

Severus could not describe the joy he had felt at Mother's request. For the first time in his life, she was explicitly asking for his company. He knew his father had not come back and could not help but feel things were looking up. With luck, Mother would forget the bastard and accept to live with her son in the wizarding world soon.

A few days later, Severus said his goodbyes to Evan and Jonathan before leaving King's Cross station to go home.

Mother welcomed him with a smile and a hug, fussing over him like she had seldom done before. For the first time in years, the house was clean, smelling of scented herbs instead of moisture and alcohol.

Severus was pleased to note Mother had gained a few pounds. She was wearing a dress he had bought for her this summer and it complimented her figure nicely. Severus was relieved at least one thing in his life was improving. Seated outside with hot cocoa as he watched Mother work on their potion garden, he felt his worries fade and enjoyed the late afternoon.

On Christmas day, Severus awoke to the aroma of coffee and fresh baked bread. He could hear faintly a Christmas air playing. Quickly dressing himself, he went downstairs. Mother sat in front of the tree they had decorated together, silently mouthing the words of the song the radio was playing.

She smiled when her son gave her a kiss, standing up to lead him to the kitchen where breakfast was waiting. In addition to the coffee and bread Severus had identified, she had laid out different jams as well as the biscuits and gingerbread they had baked together the previous day.

Severus happily tucked in under her amused gaze.

After eating their fill, they both sat under the tree to open the small pile of presents waiting underneath.

Jonathan's gift was a book that delighted Severus, _Runes and Plants, the forgotten protections_. His friend had added a small card explaining there was an entire section of the book about creatures. Severus hoped his own gift would please him too. Evan and he had put their money together to buy him places for a concert of his favourite music band. They happened to play near his place during the summer holidays.

Evan had offered him an Absorball. Severus was speechless. It was onerous and difficult to make. It looked like a ball of glass, similar to a Remembrall. It absorbed all things magical aimed at it, and was particularly used to practice spell casting. Evan recommended it when Severus needed to release pressure or work on the intensity of his spells.

They really were true friends.

Severus was elated to also find a gift from Lily. Having enough money for once, he had bought her a fine green silk scarf embroidered with golden thread but had not thought she would gift him with anything this year. It was a book on healing spells. Severus wondered at its significance before seeing she had written a small note inside.

 _Merry Christmas Sev._

 _I know your interest in magic is broad but I do not think you have really studied healing magic in depth. I hope you find as much pleasure and more in this white magic than in your dark spells. Please give a thought to your future possibilities._

 _Love_

 _Lily_

Ah. She was trying a different approach to turn him from Slytherin but was honest about it. He could not begrudge her the try when she had not disparaged any of the people he held dear with her gift. Plus, it meant she still cared enough to try. And healing spells were useful to know. Severus always observed Pomfrey carefully when she cast a spell or gave potion - either to him or another patient- but he had never taken the time to really study the subject. In fine, it was a fine gift.

His Mentor and Lucius had only sent him a cryptic letter wishing him a merry Christmas day for him and his family. Severus was to get his present during the next mentor meeting but only if he was deemed worthy of it. Severus imagined very well the smirk on Lucius' face and the smile in his Mentor's eyes while they penned the letter. They both knew Severus was not the patient kind.

Still, there were chocolate macarons along the letter and Severus happily shared with Mother who got a wishful look when tasting her first one.

Severus finally opened Mother's present. It was a book on Occlumency and Legilimency. A very detailed book he wished he had own before. Glancing through it, it became obvious he still had much to learn on Occlumency and knew nothing of Legilimency. It might help him refine his techniques to block the werewolf memories better.

"Do you know what are Occlumency and Legilimency?" asked Mother, watching him expectantly.

"I do actually, said Severus. It will be useful."

"Princes tends to be naturals, or at least to master this branch of magic without too much difficulty comparing to most. Of course, it is challenging work but I know it will not be a problem for you."

Severus heard the pride in her voice. They really were better off without his father.

He got a hug for the cashmere cardigan he had bought her, as well as remonstrance for spending his hard earn money so foolishly and a look he could not decipher.

Gifts opened, they dressed themselves warmly and went into the forest in search of potions ingredients.

They came back in time for a late lunch before settling in front of the fireplace. Mother had enchanted it so that the flames changed colours. Severus learned her father always did this little trick for her on Christmas morning because each year they were the firsts up.

Her face wistful while telling him this anecdote, she then turned serious and asked him about Hogwarts, his marks, his friends...

Severus happily spoke at length about Jonathan and Evan. He told her about Lucius' infatuation and his Mentor's reserve about Narcissa Black. Severus did not tell her much about his Mentor support. Mother approved of the mentorship but had always refused to meet Lord Malfoy, no matter the day or the occasion. Severus felt she was ashamed of herself and did not insist on his Mentor qualities, unwilling to spoil the day by underlining how her husband was found sadly lacking compared to the Lord.

Severus did not breathe a word of his difficulties with his wand. He did not tell her about the Marauders. He did not even think about broaching the werewolf incident. He did not want her to worry for him now that she could finally relax without his father's threatening presence.

He did tell her about the school's tensions between Lord Voldemort's supporters and the Minister's.

Mother listened with rapt attention. She was looking at him like never before, as if it were the first time she was really looking at him.

This night, Severus went to bed happy.

Severus awoke to the sound of birds chirping. Through the shutters, he could make out rays of sun. He remained lying in bed for a while, savoring the beginning of a beautiful day. Then he went downstairs quietly not to awaken Mother. He made himself breakfast with remnants of yesterday biscuits and gingerbreads, and set himself on the sofa with one of Mother's few novels, enjoying the peaceful morning. From time to time, he went to check on the potions they had begun brewing together when he returned from Hogwarts.

When the church bell sounded midday, Severus began to worry. He had not heard Mother even stir. He hesitated before climbing to her room.

He knocked softly and waited.

He knocked again, a little harder. No answer.

Worrying, Severus opened the door and entered the room.

Mother was on her bed, wearing one of the dresses Severus had bought her at the end of summer and her cashmere cardigan. Her arms were crossed on her chest. She looked peaceful.

Severus approached and shook her a little by the shoulder. She did not budge.

Dread pooling in his stomach, Severus took her hand. She was lukewarm.

Taking a deep breath, he searched for a pulse and found none.

He took a step back. Looking at the room, Severus noticed an empty glass on her bedside. He took it and smelled it. The scent was unmistakable. Aconite.

Putting the glass back on the bedside, he saw a letter with only his name on it.

No. No no no. She could not have done this. She could not have left him.

Turning to Mother, Severus tried every single spell he had ever seen Pomfrey use. He cursed himself for not reading Lily's book earlier. Running, he went to retrieve it. Riffling through it, he found a diagnostic spell. He immediately cast it on Mother. Once. Twice. Thrice. The answer was always the same. She was dead.

Severus slide to the ground, watching Mother uncomprehending. Mother…

Severus watched as tears fell done the face of his memory self. Distantly, he noticed his wand had worked perfectly. There really was no logic to it.

He was angry at Mother for not waiting for his return to school to kill herself. He was angry at her for killing herself. He was angry at her for abandoning him. He was angry at her for not loving him enough to live.

In his memory, Severus finally got up from the floor. Hands shaking, he opened Mother's letter.

 _My dear Son,_

 _I know my death will cause you pain and hardship but it is not enough to stay my hand. I asked you to come home for Christmas a few days after receiving your father official demand for divorce. He has met another woman and wishes to build a normal and happy family with her._

Severus ground his teeth, ignoring the knife in his heart even though his father's feelings for his freaky family were no surprise to him.

 _I cannot bear to live without him and see him marry another woman who will give him what I could not. I now long for the relief death will bring me and I am ashamed to say you are not enough for me to keep on living._

 _I know my words will hurt you and I apologize, but I cannot regret them._

For the first time in years, Severus felt tears coming to his eyes. He had known this; Mother's cold body was resting on her bed right now. But to have her write these words, so cold and cruel... Mothers were supposed to put their children first no matter what.

Tightening his left fist, he kept reading.

 _I asked you here for Christmas because I wanted to spend my last days with you, my Son. Know that I loved every second that we spent together since you arrived home._

Severus swallowed thickly. She did care in her own way.

 _I also cannot ignore the pain it caused me not to have your father to share them with._

Severus wanted to scream.

 _You deserve to know why I chose to die today and for once I will not shy away from my responsibility in my fate._

 _You already know I come from the noble and respected House of Prince. I am the second child of Augustus and Madeline Prince. Marius is my older brother and the heir of the Prince line. He married Elea Greengrass just before my First Hogwarts years and your cousin Marcus was born only a year later. I was an average student during my time at Hogwarts. Potion was my best subject but I was far from your level of genius. I must confess when I assigned you the task of creating your own potions recipes, I never imagined you would be successful. The first time, I thought it was fluke, a stroke of chance. When you kept on getting your potions right, even with a recipe different from the one I had learned, I was proud of you._

Severus had realized during his first Hogwarts year that it was indeed uncommon to create your own recipes. He knew Mother had unknowingly helped him develop his potions and research skills, for which he was grateful _._

Mother had never told him she was proud of him. It warmed his heart while making him feel her loss even more acutely.

 _I met your father during the summer of my sixth year. I was visiting a friend from Hogwarts and we met on the beach. My friend wanted to show me some inventions from the muggle world and how scandalous they were in their behavior. That day, your father told me I would become his wife one day and we would have a wonderful family and be happy. We wrote to each other during my seventh year and were very much in love. I might have avoided much heartache if I had told Mother I was in love with someone but I did not dare tell her I wanted to marry a Muggle. My parents were not aligned with Grindelwald but, as every true Slytherins, they were wary of the muggle world and I knew Father would frighten your father away._

 _I at least should have told Father I wanted to continue my studies after Hogwarts. He would have accepted – even be proud – but I had no real vocation and to be honest, I did not want to. But I did not anticipate Father's actions soon enough._

 _As soon as I graduated, Father arranged a wedding between Arthurus Malfoy, a young cousin of Lord Abraxas Malfoy, and me._

Knowing Lord Malfoy, Severus could not help a surge of anger toward Mother. His sponsor's cousin could not have been worse than his father. Merlin, he could have been Lucius' removed cousin. How different his life would have been if not for his father... Suppressing his desire to pound his fist into a wall until he was numb, Severus kept reading Mother's last letter.

 _It was too late to say anything about your father because you do not cancel a wedding to a Malfoy. To my shame but not my regrets, I ran away and married your father._

 _Of course, Father could find me thank to the Head privilege. He sent Mother to me and she disinherited me. Not for running away but for not telling my husband I was a witch. She told me I was disowned until he knew and warned me my fairytale would end badly. We were to come to her when your father knew either so that we could salvage my relationship with Father and my reputation in the best case, or so that I could divorce your father and live with my parents again in the worst case._

 _But I knew your father would never accept magic. War – the second muggle war which happened roughly at the same time as Grindelwald's reign -had shaken him deeply and he would not bear to discover a whole new world. He needed a simple life. I never considered telling him and we were so happy our first years together that I did not regret it. Of course, you ruined everything._

The words were knives in his heart even if he had already heard them. It had been years since she had last said them though, so he had hoped she had changed her mind. It was not fair. It was not his fault. Who knew how different his life might be if she had been honest with her husband?

 _When I learned I was pregnant, I was both happy and fearful. I hoped you would be a squib and took several potions and herbs known for lessening magic in order to improve my chances._

Severus felt sick. Those herbs were dangerous and more often than not killed or maimed the fetus. Mother had been so desperate she was willing to kill him… Those herbs were also dangerous for the woman who ingested them. Their purpose was to destroy magic and they did not discriminate between the baby's magic and his mother's. If Mother had taken important portion of herbs, her magical core could have been severely damaged. It would explain why she had not used magic often - before her husband broke her wand - and only for minor spells. In truth, she had not been able to do more. A damaged magical core could also unbalance a wizard and leave him prone to humour disorders…Severus felt a tear at the corner of his eye. Mother had wilfully destroyed herself by taking those herbs because of him. Had she not realized what she was doing? Had she not known how dangerous the herbs were for the both of them? He would never know now that she was…

Oh Merlin... That could explain why his wand was not working that well. Puberty might have revealed a damage caused by these herbs to his magical core...No, no, no. He had lost enough. He would not lose his magic too.

Severus considered throwing the letter away but he needed to keep reading. She was his mother.

 _Sadly, it was for naught. The day you made your ball fly toward you was the day my life ended. As I had known he would, your father hated magic._

Maybe he would not have if you had told him first, thought Severus resentfully.

 _His love for us weaned until there was only disgust, fear and hate. I could have taken you to my parents, they would have accepted us. But I was ashamed. My pride and my love for your father prevented me from leaving him._

How could she be so selfish?

 _My son, I both love and loath you._

Severus swallowed unwanted tears, his mind berating his heart who still hoped for some unconditional love from Mother but satisfied itself with such a hateful love declaration.

 _You are the cause of my happiness and my sadness._

 _I rejoiced in your cleverness only to be defeated when it brought no pride to your father. I hoped you would manage to make a place into his heart but you never did. I tried raising you as well as my mother would have but I know I have failed. I only hope you can forgive me for not being the mother I should have been._

 _I sincerely believe you will be better off without me and it assuages my guilt to know my death will bring relief to you, to me and to your father. I cannot bear to divorce him and see him marry another woman so Death will be the one to tear us apart._

 _I wish you all the best. I know you will be a great wizard one day. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. If you can accept advice from a woman who made many mistakes, make your own decision as freely as I did but be better than me and make your choices openly. If you are braver than me, go meet your grand-parents. I know they will adore your intelligence._

 _Live well Severus._

 _Love,_

 _Mother._

 _PS: You will find a Gringott vault key in my jewel box. I did put some money on the side in case you should need it. It is not much but should support you for your two summers left before graduating Hogwarts. I am not worried as I know you brew well enough to earn your life but it assuages my worries and my guilt._

Severus had no idea how long he remained on the floor, Mother's words flowing through his mind again and again. It was the potion alarm he had set to alert him that broke through his haze. Shutting his feelings away in his mind laboratory for now, he went to check on the potions.

He worked until all his potions were finished then cleaned the laboratory thoroughly. Then he went back downstairs, took a sheet of paper and a pen and began his planning.

Severus had to be careful. No one in the Wizarding world could know Mother had committed suicide because suicide was forbidden.

Severus did not understand why because Wizards had no religion, what with ghost, werewolves, spirits, and other delightful creatures. Severus sometimes wondered if Greek gods and prophets were bored wizards who manipulated Muggles for fun.

Jonathan had once told him it was a matter of cowardice: suicide meant you were not brave enough to face the ordeals life had in store for you. Severus rather thought it took a lot of courage to end one's life but had kept his opinion to himself as for once, all his classmates had seemed adamant about the subject.

Whatever the real reason, wizarding law was not lenient with those that committed suicide. Their assets were forfeited, and their living family was dishonoured. For five years, they needed to get the approval of the Ministry for every little transaction they wanted to make, be it find an employment, marry someone or do a business transaction. The sentence could be shortened if one of the family members did an exemplary deed that counterbalanced the cowardice of the suicide. Severus rather though the constant need for Ministry approval would lead to more suicides in the family but what could you do, dunderheads were everywhere.

Working late into the night, Severus finally had his plan. He brewed several potions he would need, both cursing and thanking Mother while he used one of her Dark Arts book.

In the end, Severus arranged the scene so that the Muggle authorities would believe Mother had died of pneumonia. He told them he had been away at school and had found her dead at his arrival.

The neighbourhood knew she was sickly - even if it usually was because of the lack of food and her husband fists but you did not say those things to the police – so their testimony plus the concrete signs of pneumonia present in her body thanks to Severus potion convinced the police.

Severus had Mother cremated with the Dark Arts potion so no Wizard would be able to determine the cause of her death if they ever inquired about it. He invited no one for her death ceremony and warned no one of the death of Mother.

Severus spent the rest of the break working on his creature spell. He tested it on small rodents first, both non-magical he found in town and magical he owl ordered.

When the spell seemed to work as he intended, he concentrated on the counter-spell.

Finally, he tested the spell on himself. It worked beautifully. Severus almost lost consciousness from the pain of having his magic drained and blood loss before managing the counter.

Even after many blood replenishing potions, Severus felt weak.

His weakness lasted several days.

His spell was a success.


	14. Chapter 5 Part7

Thanks to you who took the time to follow, favourite, review my story

Still unbetaed.

AN: This chapter was reposted on 08/23/2017 for correction of grammar and punctuations mistakes.

* * *

Severus slept the whole ride back to Hogwarts; still recovering from his spell testing and safe knowing the Marauders had remained at school for Christmas.

When the time came to take the carriages from the train station to the castle, he stared in wonder. Nobody had said they were drawn by Thestrals. Severus recognized the beasts immediately, having looked at pictures so many times when studying his wand core. They were magnificent. Black as night. Their body was all bones, looking hard and strong. Their wings were currently folded, but he could make out a leathery texture and knew they looked like bat wings when deployed. Their head were a mix between a snake and an eagle. They looked proud and fierce. According to Severus' readings, they were helpful and loyal beasts as long as they did not perceive you as a threat. Lost in his admiration, he almost missed the carriages departure.

Thankfully, he was alone in his carriage. It suited him and allowed him to remain a little with the two Thestrals of his carriage before entering the castle.

The magnificent black skeletal beasts looked at him patiently while he admired them. One extended a wing toward him which he took as encouragement to pet it. It seemed to appreciate it and soon, he received a demanding nudge from the other one.

The ghost of a smile was on Severus' lips when he left them. The first one since …

Watching himself enjoy the beautiful creatures, Severus frowned. Why had he been able to see the Thestrals? From his readings, you had to witness someone's death to be able to… He froze. If he had not been in his Occlumency state, he knew he would be having a panic attack.

Had Mother died just when he entered her room? Should he have been able to save her?

Please Merlin, no. He could not accept it. Maybe the witnessing death thing was not to be taken too literally. He had seen Mother not long after her death. He had been in the same house when she had died. He had tried to save her…;

It did not really matter. It really did not He could see Thestrals now. He had done everything he could for Mother. She was the one who had left him to his fate…

Back to the now not so distant past, Severus smiled without warmth. He had thought the days after Black's... prank were bad. This was ten times worse. His mind was a constant whirlwind of thoughts. He had trouble concentrating. Only Occlumency and his advanced studying saved him from abysmal grades. He shuddered to think how he would have coped without Occlumency - one thing to thank Dumbledore for, he truly was going mad.

Occlumency only lessened the damages during the days. At night, Mother's letter came out from his cauldrons amidst werewolves' growl before exploding in his head. Sometimes, her dead body appeared amidst the cauldrons' fumes, haunting him.

Severus lost himself into study and research, trying to challenge his mind and overwhelm it with information and reflection in the hope it would grant him a respite from his painful memories. It worked. Sometimes.

Jonathan and Evan were worried but they did not push him and kept idiots away from Severus' temper. He had told them Mother had died during the break. They thought it was from some illness and that she had asked her son near her for Christmas knowing the end was near. It was close enough to the truth. Severus did not correct their assumptions.

Severus' troubles with his wand had not ended with Christmas break. One moment it would work perfectly, with the right amount of power. The next, it would either cast a pitiful spell or on the contrary a devastating one. Severus could not find any logic in his wand functioning, no matter how much he tried. He felt like the most basic principles of magic did not apply to his wand anymore.

Magic was intent. Mother had told him again and again, as well as most of his professors. But spells did not do what they were supposed to anymore.

During one of his charms class, Flitwick had demonstrated the use of Specialis Revelio when cast with intent. The charm was supposed to show any charms or hexes present on the object it was cast upon. The Charms Professor explained that if a wizard cast this spell thinking of showing something that was hidden, it could also reveal something else than hexes or charms.

The little professor demonstrated by using the charm on a blank parchment. First, it revealed no hex or charm present on the parchment. He cast the spell a second time but with a different intent and revealed a text written in invisible ink. Then he used it on a cube of wood. Same as before, no hex or charm were on the cube. The second time, the cube broke in two and candies spilled from the inside hole they had been contained in.

The entire class was impressed and clapped while Flitwick distributed the candies.

"Now class, I want you to work on revealing the text written on these parchments" said the professor while blank parchments zoomed across the classroom to land in front of each student.

Severus sighed, looking at the sheet dejectedly. He was so tired. Of not sleeping. Of hearing Mother's words, again and again.

Shaking his head, he concentrated on what he wanted.

I want to reveal what is hidden in this parchment. I want to reveal … _a werewolf howled far away_ … what is hidden in this parchment. I want ... _I hoped you would be a squib ..._ to reveal what is hidden in … _You are not enough for me to keep on living_ … this sheet. I want to _..._ _Claws passed in front of his eyes..._ reveal what is hidden. I want _... Of course; you ruined everything…_ to reveal what is hidden... I want to reveal... _Death will be the one to tear us apart_... things... I want to...

"Specialis Revelio" said Severus, precisely moving his wand on the parchment.

All at once, text appeared on it. Well not text. A drawing. A beautiful inked drawing. A beautiful tree. Its branches grew and grew until they were outside the parchment to reach for other blank ones. Soon, half of the class was staring as their parchments took place in Severus's tree.

Pettigrew had first been delighted to see something on his parchment until Lupin had pointed out it was Severus' doing. Severus would have laughed if he had not been so despondent.

"How unexpected," said Flitwick, coming to stand in front of the tree. "Class, it seems some of these parchments were made from the same tree."

Distantly, Severus frowned. Parchments were supposed to be made of animals' skins. Looked like wizards' ones were different.

"Alright, class is over. We will try again next class," said the little professor, dismissing the students. "Mister Snape, please come to my desk."

Watching his friends go enviously, Severus stood reluctantly. His tree was fading, letting the other parchments fell where they had floated.

"Are you alright Mister Snape?" asked Flitwick, his usually merry eyes filled with concern.

Severus was surprised. A professor was asking about his well-being? There must be a mistake. Even Slughorn had stopped inviting him to his special evenings, although he had maintained Severus' access to his Potion lab every year.

"I know you are having troubles with your casting this year. Your marks have dropped but remain in the middle of your year group's, continued the professor when sensing his student would not talk. However, since December, I noticed you seemed … unwell. I wanted to talk to you about it during Christmas break but for the first time you went home. And now, you have been back for two weeks and you do not look better…," trailed the little wizard.

Severus squirmed. He did not know how to react. One professor had cared enough to see and ask him about his problem. But Flitwick could not help him. So…

"My Mother died during Christmas break.", said Severus reluctantly.

"Oh my, my condolences" said Flitwick agitated. "Why did Horace not warn me? I would have…"

"He does not know," interrupted Severus. "I… did not tell many people." He finished uncomfortable.

The professor fixed him with a piercing gaze before smiling sadly.

"I understand it must be painful to evoke so soon. May I warn the other professors?"

"Yes sir," answered Severus.

Flitwick make to talk then closed his mouth. Watching Severus pensively, he finally said:

"My door is always open if you need anything."

Severus stared at him before nodding. He left quickly, leaving his professor to stare at his retreating back.

What a disaster. He was lucky it had happened with Flitwick whom was the most impartial professor of the faculty.

He needed to find a way to make his wand work. Right now, he could not focus on one intention when he cast his spell. He needed to control his thoughts better if he wanted to pass his OWLS.

Maybe he could use Occlumency a bit differently… Yes, fill his potions jar with non-useful thoughts pertaining to the OWLS until it was over…That would be brilliant.

Severus focused on his potion lab and watched as a new shelf appeared. This would be his unimportant shelf. Now he just needed to make unimportant memories go there until they could be analyzed at night and put into their year shelf.

Watching himself so happy for having thought of this genius idea, Severus groaned. Hindsight was 20/20 but why had he imagined avoiding the problems would ever work for him?

A vial suddenly popped in front of him and he sighed. How many more painful memories did he need to watch?

Severus had painfully made his way to March. Although Mother death was still painful, it was not so raw anymore. Time and the perspective of OWLS were the best cures.

Werewolves still haunted his nights but days were almost peaceful. The professors had not lessened the fifth years' workload after Christmas - Severus was grateful for the Marauders were reduced to a few hexes between two classes that he usually blocked or deflected - and the atmosphere in the castle was almost serene.

One morning, Severus was silently eating his breakfast with Evan and Jonathan when there was a flurry of owls. Owls delivered mail at breakfast. Also, there were always some, that day, it felt like every student received at least one owl.

"I don't like this." said Evan, frowning while he reached for his father's letter.

Severus agreed. Impassively, he opened Lord Malfoy's missive.

 _Severus,_

 _I write this letter hastily so you may react accordingly no matter your peers' reactions._

 _One of ours died yesterday, protecting a young Muggleborn from his uncle._

How? ...

 _The uncle was threatening the child with a gun. He shot our comrade when he intervened. Sadly, he was not knowledgeable about muggle weapons and did not choose the right protective spell. The child is still with his family._

Severus shivered. He could imagine how his father would have reacted after killing a wizard.

 _I do not want to say too much in a letter. This should be enough for now._

 _Sincerely_

 _Your Mentor_

What a mess, thought Severus. But why had Lord Malfoy deemed it necessary to inform him so quickly?

Looking around casually, he noted the Gryffindors were staring at his House's table, whispering more furiously than usual. Most of the other students were too, also they were more discreet.

"Read." said Jonathan, thrusting him the daily prophet.

The story his Mentor had told him was on the front page. Except it was all wrong.

 _Wizard killed by a Muggle while trying to kidnap his nephew;_

 _Are the Defenders going too far?_

 _Cases of Wizards harming Muggles have been numerous lately. One Muggle even died._

 _We though these wizards were defending muggleborns children from their abusive family so we cheered for them. As time passed, we affectionately called our heroes The Defenders._

 _However, their motives might not be as pure as we though._

 _Yesterday, a Muggle killed a Defender who was trying to kidnap his muggleborn nephew._

 _This act should not be so surprising when you remember Lord Voldemort wanted to take Muggleborns from their family._

 _It is not a new debate, for decades some have wanted to ignore the law of blood and family by taking muggleborn children away from their own._

 _It was always denied, for good reason._

 _Respected Professor Albus Dumbledore, Order of Merlin (first class), Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards, and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot answered a few questions for us._

 _Reporter: Thank you for taking the time in you full schedule to answer us, Headmaster._

 _Headmaster Dumbledore: You are welcome my boy. I feel some of our peers are getting lost in their beliefs and responsibilities. It is my duty to warn them as it was my duty to stop Grindelwald several years ago._

 _Reporter: We are all grateful you take your responsibilities so seriously, Sir. You never agreed with The Defenders movement. Did you know they had an ulterior motive?_

 _Dumbledore: We all suspect the Defenders support Lord Voldemort's ideas. After his defeat speech, I thought there were high chances his supporters would try to apply his ideas no matter that we did not elect him._

 _Reporter: You did refuse to consider his accusations of foul play..._

 _Dumbledore: I trust Minister Birkins completely. I cannot say the same thing of Lord Voldemort. I must admit he reminds me of Grindelwald in some aspect which makes me cautious, perhaps unduly. But imagine Grindelwald minister of magic..._

 _Reporter: Does it mean you think the Defenders will not stop at Muggles and will try to impose Lord Voldemort's view?_

 _Dumbledore: Let's not be hasty in our judgment. I am only saying we must be vigilant._

 _Reporter: Thank you for your time and guidance Headmaster._

Severus was seething. How dared they? Who did Dumbledore think he was, the biased old codger?! To deform the truth like this... How do you know the newspaper is the one lying? said a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Lily. I told you this Lord Voldemort was not good. Of course, added a voice that was definitively his father's. Who would want this useless boy if not delinquents and liars?

"Severus!"

Severus abruptly came back to reality. He looked at Evan who was looking at him expectantly.

"We are going to class. Word is to remain together to avoid any retaliation."

Severus nodded and hastily joined him, catching from the corner of his eyes the Marauders looking at him avidly.

He sighed. The werewolf ... prank... had divided the Marauders and they had spent several weeks fighting each other. Sadly, they were now back together and seemed ready to eat some Slytherins for breakfast.

He studiously avoided looking in Lily's direction, unwilling to know if she looked as blood hungry as the others.

All day, Severus' stomach twisted and churned. He worried the incident would kindle a wave of fights between the Houses. He worried the Marauders would use the occasion to up their game. He worried about the child left on his own with his family.

He was happy when the teachers took great care to bury them under homework. He was relieved when the daily prophet next edition headlines read:

 _Muggleborn children kidnapped, have the Defenders crossed the line?_

Well, one more memory done. He should see the end of his enterprise soon. Severus had no idea how much time had passed since he began his foray into his memories but he was glad of his decision. He felt as though he was finally on the way to making his path instead of merely going the way events pushed him.

One vial impatiently quivered in front of him. He smiled. Those really were his memories.

Severus was once again sitting in one of the private rooms of the Procope. They had finished their lunch and now enjoyed coffee with exquisite chocolates.

"Is Lucius really going to marry so young?" asked Severus to his Mentor.

Wizards often reached the century mark in good health. As such, many did not marry and begin a family before the end of their studies or travels for the wealthiest.

After Hogwarts, Lucius had shared his time between an advanced school of magic in Paris and learning with his father how to run the family estate. He was supposed to finish Paris school next year. Then he had planned to go to China to learn a different approach of magic and prospect potential new businesses. These plans were made before Narcissa who was apparently decided to join the Malfoy family sooner rather than later.

The Lord sighed.

"Lucius and I are currently at a disagreement on the matter. I think he is rushing into this without thinking, blinded by Narcissa's beauty and charms and afraid another will have her if he waits. She apparently told him her parents wanted to marry her quickly to avoid another disgrace. Her marrying Lucius would erase her older sister affront."

Narcissa had two elder sisters. Bellatrix was the eldest and five years older. Andromeda was only one year older than Narcissa. She had, to the horror of her family, fell in love - Merlin knew how- with a Muggle. Her parents had forbidden the liaison as soon as they were aware of it and began arranging her marriage to some proper Pureblood. But Andromeda could not marry before her eldest sister so they had to wait for Bellatrix to marry first. Andromeda, Slytherin that she was, bid her time and then used the wedding of Bellatrix to Rodolphus Lestrange, heir to the noble Lestrange family, as a distraction to elope with her Muggle.

Nobody knew if she had found a spell to prevent the Head of Black to find her or if the Head - Sirius Black's father and Andromeda's uncle- disagreed with her parents, but she was married to her Muggle and still alive, though disinherited.

Severus wondered what was wrong with these women Purebloods to go on a whim live with a Muggle. He sincerely hoped Narcissa's sister life was not as bad as Mother's but felt for their children.

"I told him the Malfoy heir was the best catch the Blacks could hope for in Britain but he is persuaded her father is not rational anymore and will marry her of to any available Pureblood."

The Lord paused. Severus thought he looked tired.

"I do not want to burden you unnecessarily but you have no family to look out for you in our world and I feel it is my duty to tell you of some feelings I have."

That sounded ominous.

"I do not want Lucius to rush into a wedding with Narcissa Black because we are having some disagreement within Lord Voldemort's movement. The Black family was not part of the original Lord Voldemort's supporters. However, they -and some others - have joined us this year. I am happy for the support of major Houses but I am beginning to see a dissension in our group. The Blacks are some of the most fanatical defenders of Pure Blood Lines. I admit I would rather Lucius marry a Pureblood, although I would accept an exceptional Muggleborn. However, I would be hard-pressed to accept a Muggle in the family. I just do not see how it could work, how either Lucius or she could be happy in the long term."

He sighed.

"The Blacks will only accept the best Purebloods. They believe the blood makes the magic and are specialized in blood magic. As such, they disdained Muggles. And yet they fear them. The death of our friend at the hands of a Muggle gave a new dimension to their fears. Now they are advocating for more retaliations, supported by the Lestranges and the Mulcibers. They want to kill Muggles that killed a wizard. They want to punish Muggles who hurt Muggleborns. I am afraid they might torture those Muggles."

Lord Malfoy sighed again.

"They have other supporters and now our group is divided in several factions. Lord Voldemort agreed to several kidnappings because we estimated the children's safety was in jeopardy but… I have the feeling our boundaries are slipping. More and more youngs are joining our cause. The fools think themselves invincible, eager to right every wrong in the name of Slytherin and the Blacks are encouraging them. For now, Lord Voldemort is reining them in but I am afraid they will go wild. "

He smiled at Severus almost sheepishly.

"Lucius says I am an old paranoiac. Nothing is amiss or wrong and yet... I hope I am imagining problems where there are only different points of view..."

Severus was silent. The picture painted by the Lord was not ideal but life never was. However, it fit with Lily's accusations during summer and made Severus uneasy. According to her, the Blacks wanted to torture Muggles to punish them. And the Mulcibers were with the Blacks. Considering Mulciber's behavior at school this year...

"Severus."

He looked up, startled. His mentor was looking at him gently.

"My point is... You are too young to involve yourself in our group more than you already are. Young men easily get in over their head to impress their peers and when they think they know better. Finish Hogwarts, do whatever apprenticeship you want and then think about us. You do not have your House to protect you like most of your slytherin friends do."

Severus was feeling quite unbalanced by this talk. It seems the separation he had felt at school existed among Lord Voldemort's supporters. What did it mean for the future?

"Severus."

He blushed at being caught lost in his thoughts once again.

"I need to leave to a meeting with other paranoiacs." Lord Malfoy said with a wink.

He hesitated.

"I am clearly being a paranoiac but... just in case... I trust Lord Wilkes and Lord Prince. You may go to them if I am not available, also Lord Prince is quite busy right now with his own charge."

Before Severus could process his words, the Lord moved on.

"Here. Happy Christmas Severus."

His Mentor handed him a beautifully wrapped gift. Judging from its form, it was a book. Severus suppressed his desire to tear out the paper. Could it be...?

General Magic and useful spells.

Severus suppressed a frown of disappointment. Looking up to thank his Mentor, he saw amusement in the man's eyes. Severus raised an eyebrow in question. His mentor only smiled.

Frowning, Severus looked back at his book. Decisively, he opened it.

Magical links, theory, practice and rumours.

Smiling widely, Severus thanked his Mentor profusely.

"This book is forbidden to own, except if you are a licensed master in one of the categories authorized by the Ministry. The list can be consulted at the Ministry. Bonds and Oaths are considered like the darkest light spells by our Ministry. I agree some are truly despicable. Others not so much. As with most spells, it depends on its user. Anyway, every wizard should possess this book because we all should know what magical promises entail. The charms on it are linked to you. Only you will see the real book. Others will read about general Magic."

Looking at Severus pointedly, he added.

"I trust you to use the book wisely and ethically."

Severus agreed vigorously.

After a hug - Severus was quickly getting used to those- they parted ways. He hurried back to the castle to look up unbreakable vows.

This evening, comfortably ensconced in his bed under warm covers, Severus began reading avidly.

 _Introduction to magical Bonds and Oaths_

 _Magical links between magical living beings (see annexes for the definition of living beings) can be divided into three main categories: Contracts, Oaths and Bonds. Note that Minors cannot enter Magical links that could induce death (see relevant annex for the adult age of the different magical species.)_

 _Contracts are written papers signed by the living beings wishing to link themselves to one another. It must be carefully worded because only the words will carry the magical link._

 _A breach of a Contract will affect the linked beings per the conditions written in said Contract. If such conditions were not written in the Contract, the punishment for breaking its clauses is the loss of one's magic as well as the transfer of this lost magic to the other beings linked to the Contract._

 _This transfer of magic usually end up with the death of the breaker and the madness of the others so we advise to always write breaking conditions in a Contract._

 _For more information on Contracts, see the chapters pertaining to Contracts._

 _Oaths are oral agreement between living beings who wish to link themselves to one another. Contrary to Contracts, both the words and the intent will carry the magical link, meaning depending on the intent one put into an Oath, the same worded Oath will bind individuals together differently._

 _Oaths belong to the Dark Arts category because by binding oneself, one makes a sacrifice. They will either prevent one from doing something or incapacitate one when doing what he should not. Many Oaths are thus forbidden._

 _For more information on Oaths, see the chapters pertaining to Oaths._

 _Bonds are links between living beings created without their intent. It is said Magic creates them to repair an unbalance in magic caused by an individual's action. Bonds are still mysterious and difficult to research because they cannot be forced._

 _The results of not respecting the boundaries of a bond are unpredictable although they are usually painful._

 _The most famous Bonds are life debts and familiars' bonds._

 _For more information on Bonds, see the chapters pertaining to Bonds._

That was interesting and already much more precise than anything he had found in Hogwarts. Quickly, Severus went to the Oaths section, easily finding the silencing Oaths chapter.

 _Silencing Oaths are Oaths meant to prevent a living being from sharing some information. They can encompass a large subject as well as a precise matter. The most common one is the Unbreakable Vow. It is often used by Aurors and Ministry officials and is the only authorized Silencing Oaths since the Conspiracy of Silence affair (See annexes for more information on the Conspiracy)._

 _Like any Oaths, Silencing Oaths can be manipulated depending on the intent one put into it. However, the result of an Oath is never certain because you never know what the others' intent are. You also cannot always be sure one word is understood the same way by every oath takers._

 _It is advised to always make at least one trusted person check the wording of the Oath to explore the differences in interpretation that might exist. It is also recommended to always prepare an Oath at least a day before casting so you may be sure the Oath needs to be taken._

 _Note that the caster of the Oath can also be restrain by some of its boundaries if it is the taker's intent._

 _Some Silencing Oaths can be enhanced by wand movement, see pertaining chapter for more information._

 _All Oaths can be attenuated using Occlumency, see pertaining chapter for more information._

Right. It confirmed what Severus had intuited also he had not realized how difficult creating an Oath with the desired limitations was. Of course, Dumbledore knew all this and more. Severus was impressed and scared the man had just improvised the Oath. It must be why the words were simple. Dumbledore had relied on intent and Severus' ignorance. The simple formulation was not to raise Severus suspicion he was swearing more than he should and not to give him more time to think. It also prevented the Headmaster from making unwanted worded mistakes.

They had both played a game of intent. From Severus' tests, Dumbledore had associated the word talk with giving information about, which was why Severus could not even write about it.

To Severus', persons meant most beings with intelligence- even though this intelligence was subpar to his own. As such, the Baron was a person and Severus could not talk to him. Severus not being able to talk to the ghost meant he respected him as any other wizard which honored the Baron but did not really served Severus in this case.

Both The headmaster and Severus knew implicitly what the word prank encompassed. Although Severus disagreed with the word, he knew which events it referred to. That is why he could say the word to his friends but not what event pertained to it

Well, it was clear Severus needed to keep reading this book until he knew what every kind of magical links entailed. But for tonight, he also needed to check life debts.

Severus was switching to the bonds section when the title Head of Houses Oath caught his eyes. Curious, he began reading.

 _Every Head of House must swear an Oath when taking upon the governance of the family. The Oath is specific for each House, its wording created when the House was officially recognized. The most ancient Houses, also known as the Noble Houses, are also linked through their Wizengamot seats. For a Houses to become Noble, you need to go through very specific rituals and have several Oaths with magical species, which is why there are seldom new Noble Houses nowadays (see the Wizengamot Oath for more information pertaining to this subject)._

 _The Head of House Oath is carried differently by each Head because their intent and interpretation are different from one to another. The Oath is also a protection for the members of the House; also, it is usually only known by the Head. One of the most known facts is that the Head office House can find any member of his House no matter his location. It is always true except when the member was erased from the House (see the book_ _Head of Houses, duties and privileges_ _for more information on this topic)._

 _Blood magic can be used to modify the House Oath, as well as block it. However, if the intent behind the blood magic is contrary to the House Oath, it can backlash on the members of the House._

Well. What kind of protection for its member was an Oath if it let the Head abandon his daughter and grandson to an abusive husband and father? Although, since the Head could easily locate his members, it seemed his Grandfather knew his daughter was dead, that Severus was still alive but he did not care. He had not even sent a letter to his grandson in condolences or to ask about his well-being. No matter what Mother's letter had said, he would not try to meet his grand-parents.

Pushing the depressing thought of his pitiful family aside, Severus opened the chapter on life debts.


	15. Chapter 5 Part8

Thanks to all of you who took the time to follow/favourite/review my story.

AN: This chapter was reposted on 08/23/2017 for correction of grammar and punctuations mistakes.

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Severus was walking towards the lake, muttering to himself about the OWL Defense against the Dark Arts questions when suddenly his path was blocked. What?...

"A greasy little snake plotting dark schemes on such a sunny day, we cannot have that happen…" drawled Sirius Black.

Severus swore to himself. Where had they come from? Why had he not noticed them before? Why had he not looked out for them? And where were Jonathan and Evan?

Helpfully, his mind focused on his potions laboratory, zooming on his unimportant shelf. As a vial jumped out from it and uncorked itself, he saw his past self join Evan and Jonathan after the last OWL. Jonathan told him he had to go to the infirmary to get something for his stomach ache and Evan said he would fetch his gobstones set so they could relax. His two friends told him to remain here and wait for them then dashed away. Severus saw himself grunt in agreement, stay put a few minutes then shake his head and walk to the castle's grounds. Shit.

His method for focusing on passing his OWLS worked too well. He was forgetting everything else, putting every fact unrelated to the OWLS in his unimportant vials to be examined later… How had he not noticed before? It must have increased with time...

Lost in his analyze, when Severus came back to the present, he was surrounded by Black, Potter and Pettigrew, Lupin watching out for troubles. He sneered. Always a coward when not in monster form… He shivered. Better not go there.

"Well, well, seems like Snivellus used all his brain for the OWL, no snarky retort, no trying to insult us?" said Potter, looking almost disappointed.

"Hmm, I think he is trying a new tactic. To appear inoffensive before stabbing us in the back, James," answered Black. "I am so bored; we should animate him a little. Let me think…"

Severus felt his heart sink. That was not good. Fast, think about something, a curse, something…

Watching the memory unfold, Severus swallowed. How could he have been so stupid? If only his wand was not behaving so badly… If only Evan had not gone for his gobstones….

Severus cast Protego just as Black sent a jelly legs toward him. To his relief, his shield held. He only needed to last until his friends returned. It should be enough for the Marauders to search some easier fun. Severus tried to estimate how much time it would take for Evan to come back with his gobstones. The game was disgusting really, with the marbles spitting a foul liquid toward their player when he lost a point.

Suddenly his shield shuddered. Potter had cast a spell non-verbally and Severus had missed it. What... Merlin, he was losing his memories again. Well, shelving them away more accurately. He had to cancel what he had done. OWLS were over anyway, why had he not already done so?

Severus entered his potions lab, quickly finding the shelve containing the memories to review later - it was not hard, it acted like a magnet, attracting the memories to it. It was linked to his other memory shelves by golden threads.

Unsure how to proceed but knowing time was of essence; Severus willed the shelf to disappear. It did not budge.

He tried again, focusing on it. Nothing.

The threads. They were holding it to the other shelves, preventing his removal.

Severus ripped the threads and the shelf disappeared. All at once, inconsequential memories assailed him. Binns droning on goblins again. Going to dinner and eating with his friends. Walking in the castle. Walking past the Marauders, sidestepping to avoid a stinging hex and walking away as if they were nothing... He had done that?... Ignoring Lily as she called for him while he left the potions classroom to join Evan and Jonathan...When was that? He never ignored Lily! ... Black disarming him and Potter casting Levicorpus ...

No. It was like a cold shower. He knew it had never happened. It was not possible. It was...

Straining not to lose himself again in the flood of memories, Severus forcefully put them on their right shelves.

Not wasting a moment, he sent his mind back to reality, hoping he was wrong.

Severus came to disoriented. He was looking at Black's feet. The git looked almost disappointed. Potter was... flirting with Lily?

"Come on Evans. I will let Snivellus down if you agree to go on a date with me.", was saying the arrogant prick.

Potter must have been really affected by Lily because he was clearly not holding the spell well. Severus was swaying side to side and getting nauseous. Or it was Black... Nope, the git was glaring at Lily. Interesting, if Severus had not been feet over head. There, Pettigrew, the slimy rat, was making him move.

Severus closed his eyes not to offer them the pleasure of vomiting and suffocate himself.

It helped, along with the slight breeze cooling his head. And his legs. Severus stiffened. They were showing his underclothes to everyone. To Lily. He had bought new ones at the beginning of the year but still...

He closed his eyes harder, unwilling to face the crowd laughing faces any Marauders' prank attracted.

"I would rather date the giant squid than you Potter! ", shouted Lily.

Severus frowned. Her voice...

"Don't make me beg Evans. I will even swear not to bother him until next year"

How could this loser attract so many girls?

"Are you deaf Potter? Not if we were the last people on Earth." answered Lily.

Severus opened his eyes in shock. Her words were right but her tone… She was flattered. Flirting back. With Potter! When her oldest friend was being humiliated! What a ...

"I do not need the help of a filthy Mudblood" he yelled, putting as much disdain in the words as he could. Especially not one betraying me like this but the words were left unsaid. His humiliation was severe enough.

Silence. Potter was gaping at him. Black looked gleeful. Pettigrew was clearly enjoying himself. Lupin looked... sorry? The crowd was watching with anticipation. Lily... was staring at him, shock and sorrow and so many more feelings in her deep expressive green eyes.

"Fine. I wash my hand of you, Snape. And I'd wash my pants if I were you."

She left, walking regally to the castle.

She was leaving him. He wanted to call for her. Lily. Wait.

"So Snivellus. What should we do with you?" asked Black almost playfully, calling Potter's attention back from Lily to Severus.

Severus desperately tried to call his wand to himself. Please. Accio. Please. Come to me. Please.

His wand remained in Black's hands.

Suddenly, Pettigrew shrieked.

"Let go of me, you wild beast."

A big hairy thing was attacking him. No corrected Severus. Fang was playfully biting his clothes. Meaning Hagrid was near.

"What is going on here?" asked the Giant in a booming voice.

"Nothing Hagrid," said Potter quickly with a big smile. "Just letting the stress of the exams out, you know."

Potter skillfully let Severus on the ground while Black dropped his wand near him before joining the other Marauders to talk with Hagrid. The rest of the students had already dispersed.

Severus quickly put himself up before walking to the castle as fast as he dared. He was so screwed.

Severus grimaced. He did not look forward to coming out from his Occlumency state and deal with these raw feelings again.

A few hours later, his memory self was in front of the Gryffindor common room. Gryffindors walked past him, some sneering, some baiting him. He did not care. He hid when Filch passed for his "just after curfew" round then went back to his vigil.

Finally, Lily came out of her common room.

"What do you want?"

Her tone was icy. Cold enough to freeze the lake and the giant Squid within.

"Please Lily. I am sorry. I did not mean it."

She stared at him.

"Really?"

"Of course not Lily! You know I don't care about you being a Muggleborn!" Severus said hastily, hope rising inside his chest. She was listening. She was always so quick to anger but so forgiving. If he apologized enough, maybe...

"And what about the other Muggleborns? Do you not care or am I the only one you will tolerate?"

Severus blinked. He tolerated very few people in truth.

"You know I don't care Lily, you are the one that matters."

She huffed.

"Why call me this name then?"

Time to admit to some weakness. The words were hard to say.

"You know I was angry and humiliated..."

"Yes," she interrupted, "but why this word? Why this particular insult when so many others exist?"

Because I refuse to call you with names my father used on Mother.

Because I knew it was the one who would hurt you the most.

"It just came out." answered Severus lamely.

"That is the problem" she shouted. "It came out because it is not shocking for you anymore. Once you yelled at other Slytherins for calling me with this word. Now you do not care! Let's be honest Sev ..."

"Yes, let's be honest," he interrupted hotly. "Once you disliked Potter and defended me against him, now..."

"I still do!" She interjected.

"Now you pretend to defend me while flirting with him." he finished coldly.

"I do not!" she answered, flustered.

"You did."

"Never."

"Lily. You said to be honest..."

"Be honest," she spited. "You are one to talk. When were you going to tell me about your mother?"

He froze. How had she known?

"My parents found out in the obituary section of the newspapers. They asked me why I hadn't told them so they could assist to her funeral. "

"When would I have told you? Between mincing spleenwart leaves and crushing beetles eyes?" he asked her.

"We do not talk anymore Lily. We do not do anything together anymore," he added dejectedly. "Admit it. You were glad to finally have an excuse to drop me while coming up smelling like roses."

She looked at him, all fight gone.

"You're wrong. I am just so tired of trying to make you see what you do not want to... I listened to you about the Marauders."

She raised her hand to prevent him from speaking.

"Yes, it took some time for me to understand, but I finally did because I listened to you. But you are not doing the same with your Lord Voldemort. You are not listening to me when I am telling you he is not good for you. My parents told me about World War II. I tell you your Lord Voldemort reminds me a lot of Hitler."

"Lily! You cannot compare Lord Voldemort with that dictator! Lord Voldemort is trying to help us. To help children hurt by their families because of their magic, something they cannot control!"

"He's hurting people Sev," she almost shouted. "Killing them when they cannot defend themselves. He's kidnaping children. It's like he thinks laws don't apply to him. And many Purebloods are supporting him. Like Mulciber. You know what he did to Mary. Can't you see they are not good?"

He was at loss to say anything. She was twisting everything to make Lord Voldemort look guilty. Some of her concerns resonated with his Mentor's but really, she was so blind. And not listening. No doubt she was only repeating what her Gryffindor friends were spouting every day.

She looked at him, vibrant green eyes brimming with … tears?

"Sev, …You make it so hard to be friends..."

She shook her head and looked at him right in the eyes.

"Honestly Sev, the little girl in me will always cherish the little boy who told me I should not be afraid of my magic. But now it is time we part ways."

She was abandoning him. Like Mother. Why?

Without a word, Severus turned to flee. There was no hope anymore.

"Wait."

He stopped, heart beating with hope.

"Potter told me you owed him a life debt."

There was no word to describe this disgusting conceited being.

Severus laughed joylessly.

"I cannot wait to see Potter try and fail to collect his debt." He turned, facing Lily, face devoid of any emotion but contempt.

"What you may not know is that life debts are very complex magic. Let's say a woman named Mary acted in such a way a man name Pete now owes her a life debt. Several scenarios can happen. Let's say Pete does not care for Mary's hold over him and wants revenge for it. He tries to kill Mary's child. If Mary values her own life more than her child's, nothing happens and Pete kills the child. But if he then tries to kill her, he dies. However, if Mary values her child's life more than hers, Pete dies before killing the child."

Severus paused. Lily was captivated by his words. How ironic.

"Now, if Pete was not bothered by the life debt, he could do nothing and just live his life. They could both die without the debt being paid and the death of Pete would dissolve the debt. Or Mary could need a huge favor that she feels only Pete can give her. She goes and asks Pete for the favor. Pete can accept to do her the favor. Either it is worth enough Magic will consider the debt paid, or he will need to do another favor to Mary to pay his debt. He can also refuse to do the favor for Mary if it does not mean acting against what she values more than her life. In this case, Mary can use a ritual to collect the favor but it is not without risk. If she asks for a favor cheaper than his life, he will be compelled to do it and still owe her. If it is as costly as his life, he will be compelled to obey then be free. If it is more expensive than his life, he will not be compelled to act."

Severus paused again and smiled. It was not a nice smile.

"Last possible scenario. Pete does not really owe Mary a life debt, she uses the ritual and she dies because Magic punishes those who want to collect what is not theirs. "

Severus abruptly turned and left a gapping Lily behind him. It was so hard to breath.

The memory dissolved slowly.

Severus waited but none other came forward. Relieved to have finally finished his herculean task, Severus was bracing himself for his return to reality when he paused. He had not checked his trapdoor.

He hesitated. He had just reviewed important memories; surely it had cleared any blocked feelings... Wrong, he had used Occlumency to be able to distance himself from the memories said a little voice sounding like Jonathan. Anyway, it cost nothing to check, right?

Reluctantly, Severus went and opened the trapdoor. He took a step back, uncomprehending. Where there had once been one box, it now had several companions.

He was not ready to deal with so much locked feelings. He would need a quiet place where he was sure not to be disturbed. And he would need time. Lots of time. Severus had no idea how long he had been reviewing his memories but he suspected morning was near.

He needed to address this. After sleeping. And eating.

Right. And He still needed to decide what he would do next year.

Who was he kidding. He wanted to pass his NEWTS and never come back to Hogwarts. He wanted to be free. He wanted... to be independent. He wanted … to be emancipated.

It could work.

Decision taken. Planning later. Sleep now.

Dragging himself from the empty room, Severus went to bed, only casting a quick tempus that read 5 am before falling into oblivion.

On Sunday, Severus went to breakfast early then decided to enjoy the sun outside. To avoid any student, he walked near the forbidden forest. It was peaceful.

He found a welcoming log just big enough to support his back comfortably if he sat on the ground. He remained there, doing nothing, focusing on the noises of the nature surrounding him.

Almost without thinking, he found himself in his potion lab. He walked amidst the quietly bubbling cauldrons. The fumes were light, just enough so he would sense any intruder and be able to react. No growls or hateful words were permeating the place. It was peaceful.

Shaking his head, Severus purposely walked toward his trapdoor. He might as well take care of some of these boxes.

The boxes had not disappeared during the night. They were patiently waiting for him.

So, which one first? Eeny, meeny, miny, moe … Accio box.

Box in hand, Severus sat on his lab floor. Might as well get comfortable in his own mind.

He hesitated slightly before flipping the lid open.

Fear and pride enveloped him. Finally, he had done it. The man was gone from their life. He had been so scared. For Mother. For him. He had done it.

Severus breath in the feelings, harnessing them then sending them to join their proper memories. The box disappeared silently. That one had been easy. It might be because it had been his first box and he had already opened it once before. Or because it was the only box he had been aware of having created. That was troublesome. Another thing to ponder later.

Sighing, Severus accioed another box.

It hurt. So much he could not breathe. She had left him. Forever. He had thought she was getting better, forgetting her husband. Forgetting his father. Enjoying being with her son. Talking about magic without fear. He had thought… she loved him more than that man. He had thought … she regretted the words said when he was younger. He had thought… she was going to love him unconditionally now. Such a fool. Always hoping… Hope was for the weak. But without hope…Mother. Why? Wasn't he enough?

Shaking, Severus emerged from the see of pain. He knew it hurt. He had to accept he would never be first for her. But he had friends. His Mentor. They were always here for him. They were his family now. He took the pain and threw it to his memory shelves were the vial containing Mother's death absorbed it. The box disappeared in a plop.

Two boxes done, seven more to go. Maybe he should rest before doing the rest. But would he have the courage to do it later?

Another box was in his hand. When had that happened? No matter. Severus opened the box quickly before losing his nerve.

Overpowering guilt washed over him. It was so wrong. He should not think like this. He should be ashamed. Good sons do not wish they belonged to another family. Good sons do not wish Lucius was their brother in blood. Good sons do not wish they had blond fair hair. Good sons do not wish their Mentor was their father. Good sons are not angry with their Mother for refusing to meet with their Mentor and preventing them from spending more time with the man they wished were their father. Good sons … do not let their Mother die…

Severus let the guilt wash over him again and again. She had left him. She had admitted he was not enough. It was okay to search for a family somewhere else. It was okay…

Two boxes disappeared in a flash. Two for one, that was nice.

Severus decisively seized another box and opened it.

It hurt. A little. He was not enough. The man had always said it but Severus had thought he could change the man's view if he tried hard enough… Maybe he had not? But no. Mother had said in her letter that his Father hated Magic. Any Magic. He even hated the wife he had once loved because of Magic. What could Severus had done?

The box disappeared silently. Well. That was anticlimactic.

He accioed one of the boxes left. Instantly, it melted into his hands, enveloping him in a whirl of growls, stench, fear and claws. He was going to die. Right now. Because he had ignored his instinct and chosen to go save a girl who dropped him at the first opportunity. Because deep down he had wanted to witness the hard proof of his deductions. Because his wand was betraying him. Because they should have gone to Ollivanders' instead of going to a crazy seer wandmaker who wanted children to face death, whatever it meant. Because werewolves were scary.

Severus breathed deeply. It was alright to fear a werewolf. He accepted the fear. It was not mastering. him, he was in control of the fear. He had a spell to defeat the werewolf now. Slowly, the feelings receded until they joined Severus' memories shelves where they dissolved.

Immediately, another box flew toward Severus, opening in midair.

All at once, Severus was filled by a feeling of power and superiority. He was invincible. No one would ever tell him what to do ever again. He was the master. They would bow to him. They would fear him. He was such a genius for creating this masterful spell. His spell was working well. So well. He should cast it again. For more power. But … Why was he feeling so weak? What? …. His spell … What was the counter?... So Weak …

Panting, Severus wrench himself from his feelings. He had forgotten this. The birth of Sectusempra. He had almost died for not taking the most basic precaution when working on a Dark spell. Mother would have scolded him. But she had just committed suicide so …

Anyway, He could accept the fear. It was nothing new. It was not more frightening than a werewolf. It was like working on a new potion. He just needed to be more careful next time.

The box shrank but did not disappear.

Right. The hardest part.

Each time Severus had cast Sectusempra on different animal to test it, he had felt more and more powerful. But when he had cast it on himself, he had been … invincible. He had wanted to cast it over and over. Only his weakness had prevented him from doing so. He knew Dark Arts could be addictive if one was not prepared when using them. He had not been in his right mind then. He had been lucky his spell was well constructed. He knew with deep certainty that if his magic had not been well redirected, he would have died that day.

The thought was sobering. His spell was as dangerous as the creatures against whom he had been created to be used. He should never forget this fact when using his spell.

As he acknowledged it, Severus felt a weight lift from his shoulder. The box was gone.

He was sweating profusely now. How could one sweat in his own mind? asked an incredulous voice that sounded suspiciously like Evan. Severus did not acknowledged the thought. Three boxes remained. He needed to finish this.

Severus grabbed a box which opened spontaneously.

Once again, fear enveloped him. Why were his spells not working? He knew the theory back and through. His wand movements were perfect. His pronunciation was perfect. He had had a close encounter with a werewolf. He could see Thestrals now. He should have met his wand requirements. So why was it not working? Had Mother really stunted his magic with her herbs? He needed control and power to achieve Potion Master grade I …

The fear was not as intense as for some of the other boxes. It might be because Severus had managed his OWLS practicals perfectly. Now that he thought about it, his wand was behaving better although not perfectly. Was it because he had faced its requirements or was it because he had created the boxes or…? Magic was so complicated…

The box slowly dissipated leaving only two more box to open.

Severus accioed the bigger one which burst into the air. It hurt. She was leaving him. He had known deep down it was coming but he had hoped… As always hope… The hurt burnt like an old wound. It was painful but bearable. Lily. Their friendship had been complicated since their second year… Severus had been waiting for the other shoe to drop… His friends had warned him too… But he had hoped… Maybe later… In a few years… in a hundred years… They might be friends again…

The feelings flew to Severus memory shelves. He turned his attention to the last box. What could it contain he had not already face?

Slowly, Severus took the box in his hands. It was oh so small. Deceptively so. Taking a deep breath, he opened the box.

Incomprehension. Hurt. Resentment. Jealousy. Why was he singled out among all Hogwarts' students? What had he done for them to make him suffer so? Would he have been in their club if he had been a Gryffindor? Would Lily have valued his friendship more if he had been cool like them? But he had Jonathan and Evan. They were loyal. And witty. And intelligent. And not cruel. Not unnecessarily so. Severus loved his friends. So why did it hurt so much? Much more than Lily's abandonment. Maybe because he still did not understand why him? Maybe because it could have been different if only…?

The feelings flew around him, again and again. Finally, they receded to disperse all over his memory shelves.

Severus got up shakily to check there really was no other boxes hiding in a corner of his trapdoor. Relieved to find it empty as it should be, he prepared himself to leave his lab but blacked out before he could.

When Severus came to, he was exhausted. And warm? Blinking his eyes, he took into his surroundings. Wood. Wool cover, surprisingly fluffy. And a huge stack of breathing hairs?

"You're awake. Finally."

Startled, Severus looked up into Hagrid's concerned face.

"Aye, found you passed out on the ground near the forbidden forest. Was afraid you were gonna catch a cold."

Or become some creature's meal, added Severus in his head.

"Fang has taken a liking to you already"

Indeed, the big dog was on his back while Severus was absently rubbing his belly.

Oh. He really needed to pay more attention to what he was doing. He quickly checked his mind but the irrelevant shelf was still gone. He had just been distracted. He could not afford to be.

"I am glad he forgave me for the fright of our first meeting."

"He's a good dog. Good judge of character."

The giant paused thoughtfully.

"Why did you not come sooner lad? I would have introduced the two of you. Lily came on her own these past years."

Severus felt himself blush.

"I know Hagrid. I just … I … I was feeling guilty for Fang. And then I felt it was too late to … you know…" He trailed lamely.

Hagrid's eyes softened

"It is never too late Severus."

Severus stayed for dinner, eating the Giant simple but filling fare of soup, bread and cheese. He did give his dessert – rock cookies – to Fang which happily devoured them before contently laying down on Severus legs for a rub and a nap.

His evening was uncomplicated. Quiet. Relaxing. He really should have come to Hagrid sooner. Hagrid's interactions were simple. Straightforward. His Hut was quiet if you were used to animal's cries. Warm and cozy.

"I am glad I saw you today Hagrid. I … may not be back next year.

Seeing the giant alarmed expression, he smiled gently.

"I am hoping to pass my NEWTS this summer and find an apprenticeship for next year."

Hagrid chuckled.

"Of course, smart lad like you. I should not be surprised nor worried about you. You know what you want. Do give me some news though, right?"

"I won't forget you Hagrid."


	16. Chapter 6 Part1

Thank you to everyone who took the time to follow/favourite/review my story !

Still unbetaed.

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Severus was nervous.

He had an appointment with a Ministry Councillor to argue for his emancipation.

Only five days since he came back from school but it already felt like a lifetime.

He had spent the five days working on the best angles to present his demand and asking Lord Malfoy for advice. His Mentor had agreed to be present for the meeting and vouch for Severus as his financial caution. Professor Flitwick had also agreed to come as his educational caution.

Severus had hesitated before asking the little professor this huge favor. At first, he had thought to ask his Head of House. But while Slughorn did not ignore him, it was clear to Severus that the man was much more interested in his Slug club members.

Remembering Flitwick offer from January, Severus had waited for him to be alone in his classroom and awkwardly exposed his plan and plea. The professor had quizzed him on the courses he wanted to take as Newts in order to prove he was at the same intellectual level as Hogwarts graduates. After two hours, he had agreed Severus passing the Newts he wanted to was doable.

He then asked Severus what his plans for preparing for the NEWTS were, as well as what he would do afterwards. Severus answered as best as he could. The professor made it clear his answers would not suffice in front of a Ministry official but were a good enough beginning for the professor.

Now, Severus hoped he would be convincing enough. He had to.

He had dressed in his best robes, the ones his Mentor had gifted him – thanks Merlin they had a growth charm imbued into them or they would show his calves. For the occasion, he had used the special shampoo that cleaned his hair from any potion residues and attached them in a pony tail – a braid would have been presumptuous. For once, he did not find his reflection ugly. Far from handsome yes. But not "girls run screaming the other way" either. That was a first.

With a last check of his appearance, Severus took hold of the Portkey his Mentor had sent him. He took a deep breath before saying distinctly "rendezvous".

In a flash, Severus appeared in Diagon Alley. To be precise, he appeared in the come-and-go area of Diagon Alley. Legal Portkeys for public use were strictly regulated. The number of areas they could give access to were restricted and well defined. Severus' had deposed him in the area nearest the Ministry of Magic.

Walking quickly but without unseemly haste, scanning the crowd, Severus made his way toward the Ministry. He spotted his Mentor talking with Professor Flitwick just outside the grand building. Indeed, the Ministry was impressive. More delicate than Gringott in appearance, it could have been a king palace from the outside.

It was the first time Severus saw his charms professor outside of Hogwarts. He could almost believe the half-goblin in front of him was his professor's twin, heir raised to rule the family domain while his professor was the unlucky second born and had to make do with teaching in the most prestigious magical school. Professor Flitwick looked as regal as Severus' Mentor. Only the amused and curious glimmer in his eyes was the same as ever.

"Good morning Lord Malfoy. Good morning professor Flitwick." greeted Severus respectfully, bowing his head to the two elder men.

"Good morning Severus," answered his Mentor genially, eyes critically assessing his clothing as well as his nervousness.

"Good morning to you Mister Snape. I could believe you are Lord Malfoy's nephew, the councilor will appreciate, " said Flitwick, approval clear in his voice.

"Indeed", acquiesced Lord Malfoy. "Are you ready?"

Squaring his shoulders, Severus nodded.

"Then we shall go."

They walked to the magnificent entrance, Severus schooling his face not to show his awe. It was not that hard when the anxiety about the meeting was mounting, coiling in his gut and threatening to make him ill.

The entrance clerk looked bored. Severus thought he would be too. The man asked every visitor to hand over their wand, what was the motive of their visit, checked against some kind of register, examined the wand briefly then gave it back and allowed the visitor inside. Why he took the wand was a mystery to Severus. Did he put restrictions on it so people could not use it inside the Ministry? Was it even possible? or did he put on a trace, same as for minor wizards, to be able to tell which wand had cast a spell in case of mayhem? If the clerk did any of this, he was skilled enough not to be obvious. Severus did not see him spell any wand, even though he observed the process carefully.

When his turn came, Severus reluctantly handed his wand to the clerk. It might not answer his every command but it was his.

Taking Severus' wand, the clerk froze. Carefully, he examined the wand, a new gleam in his eye.

"This is a Maverick wand, isn't it?"

"Yes Sir." answered Severus, unsure why his wand had roused the man interest.

"I seldom see one these day. Especially in non-pureblood hands" he added with a piercing glance to Severus.

He shrugged, not knowing if an answer was expecting of him, even less one who would be safe to say. Officials notice could not bring any good to a non-influential half-blood Slytherin. If he became a Potion Master grade I, it would be another matter.

"Oh my. You really have... Thestrals tail hair for core?"

The clerk was looking at him, excited and... surprised

How did the Man know? There really was more to this wand checking than it looked.

"Well..."

Severus was at loss. Which answer was appropriate? Wasn't it rude to ask such a question?

"Do not worry young man. The privacy spells prevent anyone from hearing our conversation. Thestrals is uncommon even for one of Maverick's wand."

He paused, eyes half closed and hands hovering over Severus' wand as if sensing for something.

"Will you try the Ritual? Not right now of course, the bond is not settled yet. But it is strong even now. In a few years, you could... It has never been tried with a Thestral core. Too many people still considered Thestrals ill omen and were too ashamed to try. The fools. And they complained about Thestrals wands being weak when they were the one to weaken it with their own prejudice."

Severus felt like he had missed a step somewhere in the conversation. What was the clerk talking about? But it would not do to show ignorance.

"Well, I know you might hesitate, seeing so few dare to try it nowadays, even among the oldest Houses. But I strongly encourage you to think about it." said the clerk while handing him back his wand.

Severus contained a sigh of relief.

"Thank you for the advice Sir. I will think about it. I wish you a good day."

"Good day to you too Mister Snape. You may pass through."

He joined Professor Flitwick and his Mentor, both looking at him with interest.

"Why was he so interested in you?" asked Lord Malfoy.

"My apparently unusual wand. He asked me if I was going to try the Ritual." said Severus, emphasizing the word slightly with a question in his voice.

"I see. I did not ask you if you knew about it because from your spell casting, your wand and you are not yet aligned."

"He said we should be in a few years."

"Alright. I will tell you about it after the meeting."

"Thank you, sir."

Severus noticed Flitwick had listened intently to the conversation and was now eying Severus as if he was a very interesting puzzle.

However, Lord Malfoy did not give him the time to mull over its significance. The man moved smoothly through crowded hallways and corridors, Severus struggling to follow as swiftly as he could without colliding with anyone.

Finally, they stopped in front of a desk where Lord Malfoy subtly made for Severus to introduce himself. A few minutes later, the three of them were comfortably sitting in a cozy room in front of not one but two councilors. From their explanation, Severus gleaned the Ministry did not want any acceptance or refusal of emancipation to be challenged because their might have been a subjective decision based on the gender of the councilor. Indeed, some said women were less likely to accept emancipation of children while men would more readily support boys' emancipation than girls' because they would see the latest as weakest. To guard against such accusations, The Ministry imposed two councilors, one man and one women.

"Mister Snape," began the male councilor -Mr. Fomber. "I would like you to expose why you feel the need to ask for an emancipation."

"Yes Sir," said Severus calmly, using his Occlumency knowledge to steady his voice and hands. "My Mother died this year. She left me some money, enough to sustain myself several months if need be. My father is in the process of creating a new family with another woman. They are tight financially. I do not want to impose on my father, nor do I think it would be appreciated as both he and his future wife are Muggles. I know I can pass my NEWTS by the end of July, but I need to be an adult to take them out of school. With my NEWTS and considered like an adult, I will be able to take care of myself and plan for my future."

Mr. Fomber was watching him intently. The women, Mrs. Nealson, was taking notes. He hoped they were in his favor.

"If I understand you correctly, Mister Snape, your emancipation has two purposes. First, you want to be independent from your father," said Mr. Fomber. "Do you think he would not take proper care of you?"

The question was tricky. Severus knew he could not lie, he had to say the truth in a way that would satisfy the councilors. He had to be a Slytherin.

"My father's future wife is pregnant."

What a shock that piece of news had been. The meeting preparation as well as Occlumency had prevented him from thinking too much about it but Severus knew he now had a new mind box to deal with. Occlumency was handy but it required true discipline not to lose yourself in the process.

"I do not want to put unnecessary stress on her. I don't think he told her about magic and it would be awkward for me to always hide the truth of what I am. I believe it is best for all of us that I am not living with them."

"Your mother was a witch?" asked Mrs. Nealson, seemingly out of the blue.

Severus frowned. Why did it matter and why did she asks?

"Yes Madam."

"I see. Do you have other family left on her side?"

He thought of grandparents he had never met except for one brief moment during the Mentors first meeting. He thought of Mother's letter.

"Maybe."

She wrote something in her notes but did not pursue the matter.

"Alright Mister Snape," said Mr. Fomber, taking the reins of the interrogation once again. "The second reason you wish to be emancipated is to be able to take you NEWTS this summer, in order not to go back to school. What would you do if you passed them?"

"I will continue my studies. I can either get in a school or get an apprenticeship. I have not yet made my choice on which king of learning I prefer but it must encompass several fields. An apprenticeship would guarantee I am housed and feed. I also know several schools propose scholarships if my NEWTS are good enough."

"Are you sure you can find an apprenticeship in such a short time?"

"If I may?" asked Lord Malfoy.

"Of course my Lord, you are Mister Snape financial caution."

"Several masters are already interested in Severus, especially some French ones who look forward to working with him in Potions. I know he does not wish to limit himself to only one field so he may need several masters or one multi fields master. In the worst case, if his NEWTS are not high enough for the master he wishes for, Severus will live with my family until he takes his NEWT again."

"You all are confident in his abilities," said Mrs Nealson. "Your OWLs confirm this faith is not misplaced Mister Snape."

She already had his OWLs results? He needed to know his scores.

She smiled a little, no doubt guessing his thoughts.

"You did very well. Straight Os in every course. Your Potion score is the best since the OWLs creation." She frowned. "Were you proposed to skip a level in Potion ?"

Severus started. Study Potion with the years above him? Was that possible?

"No Madam, I did not know it was possible."

"My understanding was you could only skip a level if your grades were high enough in every course," intervened Lord Malfoy. "Headmaster Dumbledore told me you either studied all the upper level courses or none of them. He said it was a shame Severus did so badly in Transfiguration."

Severus was torn. His Mentor had never told him any of it. Of course, he must not have wanted to get his hopes up. But he had inquired. For Severus.

"To be truthful," said Professor Flitwick, speaking for the first time since the beginning of the meeting, "you can study only one course ahead of your year. But you have to have at least E in all your other courses."

Mrs. Nealson sighed.

"I know Headmaster Dumbledore felt too many children were inclined to neglect their other courses when they were allowed to skip a level in their best field but to expect E in all courses…"

"We do give side projects to the students we feel might benefit from studying in advance."

"I never was given some." said Severus tersely.

"Professor Slughorn gave you unrestricted access to a Potion lab in your third year." contradicted Flitwick.

"That was not a side project." protested Severus.

"What was it then?" asked the Professor curiously.

Severus paused. What was it indeed, from Slughorn's point of view? The man never checked on Severus. But he trusted him with a potion lab. Had the man watched on Severus without him knowing? It was doubtful. Still…

"Maybe he did. What about the other professors?" he asked challengingly.

Flitwick smiled.

"We all knew you struggled with Transfiguration so we figured we would let you put your energy in it. By the time you improved, it was clear you did not need side projects to research and think about magical theory and spells. Your essays showed me what you learned and I did not need to do more."

Oh. Severus felt his cheeks heat up with embarrassment and pride.

"Well," said Mr. Fomber. "I think we all agree taking your NEWTs is in your best interest to flourish on an academic side. However, how will you support yourself financially?"

He raised his hand, preventing Lord Malfoy from interrupting him.

"Lord Malfoy is your financial caution. But we cannot emancipate you only for you to rely on someone else. In this case, you would be better asking for adoption in Lord Malfoy's House."

Except he could not without meeting his grandparents first. And letting Lord Malfoy know his Mother was the women who had fled from a wedding with his cousin. If the Lord even wanted to add a dark hair unhandsome Half-Blood to his line. Right.

"As I said before, Mother left me enough money to last several months. Plus, I have brewed Potions to earn money before."

"In which capacity did you brew?"

"I first brewed with Mother. She sold the potions under the name Eileen's apothecary."

Mr. Fomber straightened.

"You are the one running it? I heard their potions are of exceptional quality for an interesting price. Even the Potions level III ones. My cousin took the risk even though they had no license and she did not regret it. Of course, you could not have a license, young as you are."

He paused, scribbled something.

"Yes. The Potions level III were not proposed before this year. You needed the experience. How did you manage to brew so many Potions while studying at Hogwarts?"

"Well, Mother and I brewed as much as we could during summer. And I used professor Slughorn laboratory when needed."

He paused, suddenly feeling the weight of the four adults stares.

"You managed to brew, at home, potions potent enough to last the whole year? I know the vials you used to contain the potions were not specialized ones. The potency of the potions should have decreased quite rapidly. But I know for sure they worked. How?"

Severus shrugged uncomfortably.

"When we first began to brew, I was not yet at Hogwarts. We brewed every day and our Potions worked. I did not know about the fading potency of the potions at the time. And afterwards…No customer ever complained so…"

Mr. Fomber shook his head.

"The loss of potency of potions as well as the adequate containers are covered in every year curriculum, with more details added each year I think. How could you not know?"

Severus shrugged.

"I did not learn from books at first. And then… As I told you, no customer ever complained."

Mrs. Nealson spoke, to his relief.

"I think we have proof Mister Snape could survive at least as well as any adult wizard with his NEWTs if he were emancipated. In the case you failed you NEWTs, Lord Malfoy has assured us he would house you as long as needed. Professor Flitwick is adamant you will pass them. I tend to agree, although it is a shame to think what your scores would be with two more years to learn."

She looked at him, smiling slightly.

"We understand you desire to be independent from you father. I agree it would make things easier for you, although I hope you will keep in touch with him."

Of course he would. And go for lunch every Sunday. And spend Christmas happily within family. She must have been a Hufflepuff, really. Still, she had seemed to read between the lines so…

It did not matter. What had they decided?

"Congratulations Mister Snape. Your emancipation is authorized. The contractual forms will be waiting for you at Gringott where you can sign them. Lord Malfoy and Professor Flitwick must sign them as well as your cautions."

"I encourage you strongly to explore your future options with the help of Professor Flitwick." added Mr. Fomber.

Severus felt light headed. He managed to graciously thank the two councilors and exit the Ministry without making a fool of himself before being swept in a hug by his Mentor.

The embrace was too much and he began shaking, tears coming to his eyes.

He had done it. Thanks to them. To Mother. Who had left him. He was leaving his father. Who did not care. He would be responsible for himself. As he already was. But differently. He was… He was…

"I am proud of you."

The feelings behind the words soothed him as much as their meaning.

Breathing deeply, he extracted himself from his Mentor arms, giving him a shaky smile.

"Come Mister Snape. We still need to go to Gringott." said Flitwick gently.

Nodding automatically, Severus felt Lord Malfoy take his arm before apparating them away.


	17. Chapter 6 Part2

Thanks to all of you who took the time to review my story :)

Still unbetaed

* * *

Gringotts was grand and imposing. Severus had never entered the bank before, Mother never needing him to go with her. After her death, he had signed the magical contract sent by owl to accept her will without any other form of procedure.

Severus had seen a few Goblins in Diagon Alley but was eager to observe them while doing their trade. Indeed, Goblins dealt in magical contracts and were the best at it. From his book on magical bonds, Severus knew them to be precise yet able to adapt and think of the many possibilities words could be interpreted. They were renown for being shrewd and efficient contractors. It was the reason all Ministry contracts were drawn by Goblins and signed at Gringotts.

According to Severus' books, Goblins were so apt for writing contracts because of the complexity of their language. Few wizards understood Gobbledegook, even less spoke it fluently enough to do business with Goblins in their own language. These were well respected by Goblins although Severus' book had not précised what it entailed. Other wizards were well recognized by Goblins, those who managed to negotiate their contract at the same speed as them. The exercise was precarious and, according to the book, needed a fine balance. Sometimes, it was better to ask for more time to study the contract and not sign it in haste, overlooking unwanted conditions. Other time, the signature of the contract during the negotiation was imperative not to lose the Goblins' respect.

Severus thought you had to be a little crazy to try and match the Goblins at their game. He bet Dumbledore was good at it.

If some wizards were respected by the Goblins, few Houses had managed to make an alliance with them. Severus did not know which they were, his book had not say. He thought they might be all extinct. People reckless enough to ally themselves with Goblins must die young.

Two goblins were standing guard at the bank entrance. They looked mean, angry and ... bored if Severus read them correctly. He was not an expert in Goblin's expressions and behaviours, and might be miscomprehending them completely but they felt bored. As he would be in their shoes. As the wizard checking wand at the Ministry had been.

Thinking about the man's surprising abilities, Severus wondered if the Gringott's guards also had their own. Were they amazing warriors able to catch any thieves daring to try to steal from the bank? Warriors able to defend their fellow Goblins again any wizard?

How should he behave when in front of them? Ignore them like the wizards he had seen enter the bank until now? Bow to them? Say hello? No way he would dare talk to them. Anyway, it would be foolish to engage a guard in conversation, Severus chided himself. The best was to do like his Mentor... who was nowhere in sight.

Severus looked around in alarm. No trace of Lord Malfoy nor Professor Flitwick. He had been so lost in his thoughts they must have already entered. He really needed to be more careful. He never would have forgotten to watch for his father moves.

Well. He did not think it was a good idea to ignore the two guards so... Steeling himself but trying to look like it was not the first time he came to the bank, Severus walked to the entrance, bowing slightly to each goblin guards but without addressing them. They did not move and he passed through, almost disappointed.

Lord Malfoy and Professor Flitwick were waiting for him in a hall which overlooked two great stairs. Downstairs, queues were organized, each in front of a counter behind which sat one goblin. These Goblins did not look bored. They looked ready to pounce on the wizards -and any other species - in front of them and eat them raw.

Severus shivered. You survived a werewolf. You have Sectusempra. Breath. You are not harmless. He squared his shoulders, unwilling to be scared when he was going to become an adult wizard. If I am going to be a wizard responsible for himself, I will act like it.

Taking his eyes from the Goblins, he saw the two adults looking at him approvingly but with a knowing eye. He joined them, grateful they had not waited among the queues, and Lord Malfoy led them through the crowd. After what felt like hours of avoiding people and walking in circles, he settled at one queue. Severus finally noticed the huge sign above each counter. Theirs read "Ministry of Magic Contracts".

Looking around, Severus spotted other signs reading "Private Accounts Operations", "Enterprise accounts", "Gringotts Investments", "Private Contracts", "Apprenticeships", "Councillors meeting", … Gringotts seemed to be involved in many aspects of the wizarding world. Severus wondered how much power the Goblins had over Wizards, and which contracts bound them to the Ministry … if it was not the reverse.

While Severus was observing Gringotts a much as possible, their queue was advancing quickly. Soon, the three of them were facing the Goblin behind their counter.

He did not look bored like the entrance guards. His eyes seemed to pierce through Severus and he had to use his Occlumency shields to bolster himself and not let his discomfort show.

Lord Malfoy took a step forward to address the Goblin.

"Greetings, Master of words and bounds. May our paths merge today to bring us both the reward we deserve."

Severus perked up. The sentence was familiar. He racked his brain for recognition… Yes. According to Magical links, theory, practice and rumours, proper sentences existed to greet Goblins depending on the links you shared with them. The book said you had no chance of signing a contract in your favour if you did not first address the Goblins properly – Severus wondered how Muggleborns were expected to know this kind of information without a sponsor.

His Mentor had used the greeting for esteemed partner, meaning the Goblins and he were doing fruitful business for both parties. However, he was not considered an ally – Severus really thought those were all dead.

"Greetings, Master of growth and bounds. May our paths merge today as fruitfully as our long collaboration." Answered the Goblin respectfully. "How may Roathtook help Lord Malfoy today?"

"I am here on the behalf of a young under my protection, seeking to grow before his time. He has been deemed acceptable and as such, his deed must be recognized, Master Roathtook."

Severus was puzzled by his Mentor convoluted sentence. Really, why use such flowery metaphorical way to describe a simple emancipation?

Yet, he saw the approval in Flitwick face. And Roathtook seemed satisfied. On cue, the Goblin looked at him. Squaring his shoulder and praying his memory was as precise as usual, Severus launch himself.

"Greetings, Master of bounds and beyond. May your path curve to cross one little as mine for the briefest time."

The Goblin smiled, in pleasure, anticipation or ferocity Severus could not guess.

"Greetings, Learner of bounds and beyond. May my path cross yours in the blink of an eye."

He paused, examining Severus from head to toes.

"Roathtook will hear the Learner's demand."

"Thank you, Master Roathtook. May your time not be wasted by one such as I."

Severus breathed deeply then went on, focusing solely on the Goblin in front of him.

"I am Severus Tobias Snape. My emancipation was accepted this morning by the Ministry of Magic and I hereby come to sign the agreement, providing it is up to my expectations."

"For such contract, I will need to verify your identity. However, your wizarding identification will not suffice in this case." Said Roathtook, showing pointy incisors with what looked like delight to Severus.

"I will need blood."

He was stunned. Blood?

"Master Roathtook, this Learner has yet to know about many practices. May he ask how his sample of blood will help identify him without being used otherwise?"

Mother had drummed into him blood was the easiest way to use Dark Magic on someone.

The Goblin looked at him in silence, long enough Severus began wondering if he had offended him.

"As this young Learner may not know, when one child is born from wizards, his birth must be reported to the Ministry of Magic. It includes linking the child's name to his blood. For Muggleborns, it is done when they first come to Gringotts. We have ways here to detect any wizard not linked to a name."

The Goblin paused, watching Severus. He reached out under his desk, then put on the counter what looked like a plate, with several symbols on it. At first, Severus thought they were runes but several symbols were just foreign to him, not even looking like script.

"You, Learner, have been linked to a name. With one drop of your blood on this device, I will know your name."

It meant Mother had taken the time to declare him. Well, he had wizarding identification so of course, she had. He had just not thought it implied more than in the muggle world.

"So, I prick my finger, put it on the device and it suffices?" asked Severus, making sure he understood the procedure.

"Exactly." Said Roathtook.

"Will my blood be absorbed during the device working?" Severus asked, unwilling to leave some of his blood in unknown hands.

"Indeed, the blood will be entirely consumed by it".

Nodding his head, Severus took his wand.

"Learner, you will need to use our knife."

Right. Severus eyed the sharp looking knife Roathtook had produced. Once again, there were symbols on it.

"Why are there symbols on the knife?" he asked, knowing he might be overstepping some boundaries but caution was always needed when dealing with blood magic and Goblins.

"Those symbols will ensure your blood is not tempered with, as well as extract only the amount of blood needed for our purpose."

Well. The Goblin had answered him, and he seemed … pleased.

Taking the knife, Severus pricked his finger. It did not hurt more than when accidentally slicing himself during potions making. He put his finger on the device, felt the blood fell on it, a light tingle in his finger. Severus took his hand back. There was no injury on his finger. The knife was gleaming without any trace of red. He put it back on the counter.

Meanwhile, Roathtook was looking at his counter.

"Excellent. I confirm you are Severus Tobias Snape. Do you have two living beings, at least one magical, to act as financial and educational cautions?"

"Yes, Master Roathtook. Lord Malfoy agreed to be my financial caution, and Professor Flitwick my educational one."

"Quite the cautions you gathered Learner."

The Goblin waited, as if expecting a comment from Severus. He was at loss. He knew his Mentor was an influent member of the wizarding world. Flitwick certainly was an impressive academic to teach at Hogwarts while being a Half-Goblin. Still… he could not shake the feeling there was more to the Goblin's remark.

"I am honoured they agreed to assist and support me in my quest." Said Severus, settling for a neutral answer.

The Goblin's ears moved. Severus could not say if it was in approval, surprise, disapproval…

"Lord Malfoy, … Professor Flitwick. I need to check your identity please."

Roathtook's tone did not reveal what he was thinking.

They both went through the same steps as Severus, Roathtook confirming their identities.

"Alright, here are your emancipation papers signed by the Ministry."

Severus took hold of the papers. There were only two sheets. He read them carefully, checking for double meanings and fine prints. After reading them twice, he gave them to his Mentor. Lord Malfoy looked over them, then handed them to professor Flitwick. The Half-Goblin read them quickly before giving them back to Severus with a nod.

"Master Roathtook, I agree with the content of these papers."

"Very well, Learner. You may sign your name on each sheet. Your two cautions must sign as well. I will then triplicate the papers so you may keep one exemplar. One other will be for the Ministry. The last will be kept at Gringotts"

Focusing with Occlumency to control any shake of his hands, Severus took the quill available on the counter and signed his name as elegantly as he could. Releasing his breath, he let the place for his Mentor and Professor to sign.

Roathtook took another device from under his desk and put him on the papers. Severus watched, surprised to see them triplicate. The Goblin put one exemplar under his desk, one in a box then handed the last one to Severus.

"Congratulations Learner, you are now an adult wizard responsible for his every action."

"Thank you Master Roathtook for your guidance in this matter."

"Tell me, Learner. How is it you chose an ally of the Goblins for caution?"

Severus frowned. His Mentor was not an ally of the Goblins, only an esteemed partner. Why… Oh, maybe professor Flitwick? But even if he was only Half-Goblin, from what he had read, he should be counted as clan by the Goblin, not a mere ally. Was it a test?

"Master Roathtook, I am but a mere Learner, so please forgive me if I am confused by your question. I know my Mentor is your esteemed partner. My Professor is clan with you. I do not know any ally of yours." Answered Severus, looking the Goblins straight in the eyes.

The Goblins ears moved again. Severus thought he looked pleased.

"Well said Learner of bounds and beyond. May your path keep flowing undisturbed and cross mine again. Here is a token you may show when you come back here if you wish to broaden your horizon. Beware, the token leads to a path a wizard walks alone until he reaches its end."

"Thank you, Master of bounds and beyond," answered Severus, taking the silver wrist the Goblin was giving him. He did not know what had happened but he needed to answer as adequately as possible. "May you path provide you and your clan with rewards as great as the honour you showed me."

Severus bowed then took a step back behind his Mentor.

"Thank you, Master of words and bonds, for another fruitful business. May our paths meet again."

"Thank you, Master of growth and bonds, for bringing a new seed to us. May our path meet again so we shall see its growth."

Severus repressed a frown. Had he been compared to a seed? He was not a plant! His indignation did not last in the face of curiosity when Flitwick and Roathtook began talking in Goblyddylock. The sounds were fascinating. And it was hard to guess what was being said between the two of them, also Roathtook seemed almost deferent to Flitwick.

Finally, they were outside.

"Congratulation Mister Snape." Said Professor Flitwick. "I was really impressed by your behaviour in Gringotts. Did your Mentor tutored you?"

Oh. He did not have the necessary license to own the book his Mentor had given him. He supposed his Mentor had tutored him in a sense…

"I gave him access to some texts I deemed necessary for his success in our world." Intervened Lord Malfoy smoothly.

"I see. The Ministry can be overzealous when banning some books from the younglings' eyes." Said Flitwick, eyes sharp but mischievous. "In any case, well done Mister Snape. I cannot wait to see what you will do after your NEWTs. Do not hesitate to contact me with any question or advice you might need."

"Actually, do you know what Master Roathtook offered me with this band?" Asked Severus, showing the silver token he had been given.

"Impressive," said Flitwick. "The way you answered, I though you understood its meaning. You have been given the chance to take the test for Goblin apprenticeship. I am afraid I cannot reveal more without you being chosen."

A Goblin apprenticeship? How? Why?

"I do not know why they proposed this to you Severus," said his Mentor, "but it is an honour. You shall delve about it after your NEWTs though."

"Indeed,", said Flitwick. "I must return to Hogwarts but do keep in touch Mister Snape."

"Thank you, Professor." Answered Severus, genuinely touched. "I really appreciate your support."

"You are welcome, Mister Snape. Lord Malfoy."

The Half-Goblin bowed then apparated away.

"Congratulations Severus."

"Thank you, my Lord."

"Abraxas."

Severus looked at him, startled.

"You are a man now. And dear to me. Please, call me Abraxas."

"Yes, s… Abraxas."

Life would have been perfect if Mother had been there with them. But it was already pretty good.

Severus was still lost on his cloud when he settled in an elegant and opulent yet comfortable armchair, joining Lucius and ... Abraxas in the private salon of their Manor.

A house elf - Pelly or Bink? - popped in, serving champagne and butterbeer, French pastries and chocolate macarons, to celebrate Severus emancipation.

"To Severus, may he keep on making us proud and be wiser than his years, for now you are not a child but a wizard!"

Severus blushed under the proclamation, Lucius hooting his approval of his father's worlds.

Severus raised an eyebrow, surprised by his friend's behaviour in presence of his father. The Malfoy's decorum was lacking, and Lucius seemed to realize it, looking surreptitiously toward his father.

Abraxas was looking at him, an amused sparkle in his eyes.

"I will allow this uncouth demonstration of joy, seeing you were the one to notice Severus and the first to claim he was exceptional and would surprise us."

Severus turned to his friend, stunned. Abraxas had said Lucius had been the one to convince him to choose Severus but not the extent of his son's praise.

"Of course I was. You know I have flair to notice hidden talent and usefulness," said Lucius, looking both regal and pompous. He certainly knew how to put on airs. But unlike many others, he had the power and cunning to back him. Severus really hoped he would not marry too soon.

"I am happy to have taken pity on you that evening," he said fondly, making Severus blush at the memory. He had been pitiful.

"Like a cute lost but eager puppy if I remember your words," said Lord Malfoy teasingly.

What? Severus glared at Lucius. He was not a puppy. Other students shivered at the thought of his acerbic tongue. He made some of them cry. He was not a puppy! and never had been, even back in first year!

"A puppy with teeth Father," agreed Lucius sagely. "Now, why don't you explain to said puppy the familiar ritual before he gnaws on me?"

"Yes my son, a very subtle change of topic," said Lord Malfoy.

Severus swore his Mentor would have rolled his eyes if he had not been too distinguished for these childish manners.

"Alright. Severus, I suppose you are still interested in the Ritual."

"Yes Sir... Abraxas." he answered vigorously, his Mentor's name still foreign on his tongue.

"The Ritual we are talking about can only be attempted with custom made wands. Ollivanders' will not work because the wand is not 100% compatible with its wizard. I told you how a wand's goal and its wizard's must be aligned for them to be totally bonded. The ritual pushes the bond one step further."

He paused, taking the time to savoir some champagne. Severus knew Lucius had inherited his storyteller talent from his father, but sometimes he wished they would hurry up to the story conclusion.

"No one really knows why the Ritual doesn't work with Ollivanders' wands. Some Wizard-wand pairings were said to be bonded but the Ritual always failed. Nowadays, even the owners of custom-made wands seldom attempt the Ritual anymore because they say the risks outweigh the gains."

Abraxas paused again, making Severus squirmed with impatience. He smirked knowingly.

"You do know you need to learn patience, Severus. The more useful information usually comes after long detours and wait."

Severus blushed, knowing the reproach was true.

"You also need to control this blush if you want any hope of surviving in high society." quipped Lucius.

Severus glared at him, knowing the advice was sound but still smarting over the puppy comment.

" The Ritual allows one to transform his wand into a familiar." continued Abraxas undeterred. "Familiars usually are more intelligent and sensitive than mere animals because of their bond with their wizard. However, they have no magical power. You won't see a wizard bonded to a magical animal except if he underwent the Ritual. In this case, his familiar will take the form of his wand's core."

Severus' mind was reeling. It meant his familiar would be... a Thestral! Thinking of the magnificent beasts, he smiled. How wicked it would be!

"However, even with custom made wands and the impression you have bonded fully with tout wand, the rate of succession in the Ritual is of barely 30%. The other 70% saw their wand explode in pieces."

Abraxas paused, looking serious.

"Most say they never found a wand as satisfactory as their first one. Only 5% attempted the Ritual again with their new wand. Only 1% of these succeeded."

Oh. The information sobered Severus.

"But before even attempting the Ritual, you must master wandless magic. Indeed, you will not have a wand anymore if your Ritual succeeds."

Severus knew how well this enterprise was going for him.

"Wandless magic is only possible after mastering one's wand because a wand is jealous and fear being abandoned. When you master tour wand, you are considered fully bonded and thus your wand cannot be replaced by another."

Abraxas took a sip of champagne.

"Of course, it is the theory, and I remind you wands are still mysterious to us even though we use them daily. Even wandmakers do not fully understand them, that's what make it magic." he added, eyes sparkling.

Severus was quickly reconsidering his enthusiasm about this ritual, although a Thestral familiar would be awesome.

Still, he asked:

" Which kind of ritual are we talking about?"

Dark Arts. Blood magic. Elven. There were so many possibilities, each with their inconvenient.

"A Goblin one. The bond between wizard and wand is tested at the Ministry first." said Severus' Mentor, raising his hand to prevent his interruption. "Yes, the Ministry is trying to keep an eye of those who want to try The Ritual. But since the rule was voted, the mortality rate because of the Ritual attempt has decreased drastically. The Ritual itself is done at Gringotts."

Mortality rate. Severus swallowed.

"Now you understand why few attempt this Ritual. But do not dismiss it yet. Wait for a few years, the time for you to learn from your apprenticeship. and learn more. The Ritual appeal usually depends on your job et family situation."

Right.

They did not talk about the Ritual again during the month Severus remained at Malfoy Manor. He had accepted his Mentor's hospitality at Abraxas insistence. The older man had claimed that as Severus' financial caution, he had to give him the means to succeed in his endeavour.

Studying for his NEWTS was harder work than Severus had thought, despite his advanced study of several courses, because new concepts were introduced. NEWTS allowed a student to determine if he was capable of mastering one field, each field having different grades in mastership from III to I. Hard work only got students so far and less than E usually meant you were better off dropping the course after Hogwarts.

All courses focused on adding the sense of magic in their field practice.

For transfiguration, it meant to feel the magic at work to be able to undo an unknown transfiguration or to feel for weak points in one's transfiguration.

Happily for Severus, he had already spent several years working on this sense thanks to his difficulties in the field. He was no genius at it but years of training had developed this sense. If not for this, he knew he would have had no chance to pass his transfiguration NEWTS. He had a passing chance but Severus worried about the amount of power and control it would require from his wand and himself.

Thankfully, Lucius had chosen to work in the manor the whole month Severus would have to study. He trained Severus ruthlessly, making him transfigure and untransfigure again and again until his student was drained and ready for bed.

Severus was grateful and cherished their after-sessions when Lucius remained talking with him while they ate a collation, his Mentor sometimes joining them.

Defence against the Dark Arts was about sensing magic to develop counter curse to spells you did not know as well as sense the exact location spells were directed at. It was almost like creating a new spell or twisting a potion. Having already covered the material on his own the years before, invented his own spells and created his potions recipes since he was eight, Severus found it easy and quickly pushed the subject aside.

Charms did not come as easily to Severus but the same principle applied. He quickly felt confident enough he only did cursory practice at the end of the day.

Herbology was trickier. You were supposed to sense for plants moods and needs, to encourage their growth, to increase the potency of their perfume or venom... It required patience. A lot of patience. Severus sometimes had a lot of it. Other times... He was lucky to be able to practice on the Malfoy's greenhouse, under the direction of Leafy.

Leafy was the master of the greenhouses and a house Elf. He was as strict as Lucius and Severus would never have dreamed of disobeying him inside his kingdom.

Care of magical creatures was more or less the same, Severus tried to tame beasts when before he had tried to tame plants. Some were easier than others and he prayed on the day of his NEWTS, luck would favour him. Once again, he was grateful for his Mentor offer to study at the Manor, which allowed him access to the Malfoy's menagerie.

Arithmancy was a huge disappointment for Severus. His years at Hogwarts had covered different possible uses for Arithmancy, from numerology to determining the best day to harvest potions ingredients, with the impact of numbers on magic in between. However, the NEWTs were centred on numerology and getting the feel of which number felt right in answer to one question. It was one part of Arithmancy Severus found useless and he had a hard time studying for it, more often than not foregoing the subject planned study session and practicing Runes instead.

While Severus Hogwarts years had been spent learning basic Runes, their possible meanings and translations as well as some rudimentary spells applications, the NEWTS curriculum required to feel for the runes power in order to notice its existence then work on countering it. Feel also allowed to make runes combinations more complex than the basic taught in 3rd and 4th year. However, for the combination to work, each rune composing it had to be altered slightly to fit together. It was fascinating, frustrating and time consuming.

Time passed quickly and before Severus knew it, he was sitting at the Ministry among other independent candidates. The exams lasted one week, the written part being in the morning while the practicals where held the afternoon. NEWTS were harder than his OWLs and Severus sometimes felt like he knew the answer but is was beyond his grasp... After which, he spent two days only sleeping and eating at Malfoy Manor before going back to his own house. Abraxas had asked him to remain at the Manor but he had refused, touched but needing to be alone for a while. He needed some quiet after the rush of last year, his OWLs, his emancipation, his NEWTS…


	18. Chapter 6 Part3

Thanks to all of you who took the time to my story :)

* * *

Severus took the floo to go back home. Abraxas had linked his home to Malfoy's manor private network. It meant Severus' fireplace could only be reached through one of the manor's. His Mentor had added a ward preventing anyone but Severus, Lucius and himself from using his fireplace. Severus was grateful for the quick way of communication and the knowledge he could call for them anytime - even though he promised himself he would not do so and turn into a bother.

Back home, Severus slept. Then, he put on wards on his house. They were nowhere near as complex and strong as those of Malfoy manors' or Hogwarts', but it should be a deterrent against Muggles and unmotivated wizards.

His home protected, Severus took care of the pressing matter he knew was now in his mind's hidden trapdoor. Indeed, a box was waiting for him - he was pleased it was the only one.

Severus was not surprised by the box content. Feelings of abandonment, anger and resignation washed over him. He was not good enough for his parents. Never had been. Never would be. And yet... Other people cared about him. The picture of his Mentor calmed down the feelings. Thinking of Evan and Jonathan, of their friendship and acceptance of his bad temper made the box disappear in a puff of smoke.

It had been easier than last time. Was it because the box had not had the time to simmer in his mind, or because he had already faced similar feelings?

So many things to learn. Sighting, he added it to his list of to do things. At first, his list had been immaterial, just a way to memorize future tasks. Since he had begun Occlumency, he now had a real list carved on a wall of his lab. His list was separated in distinct categories: To do quickly, in two months, undetermined… When one task was accomplished or no longer needed, it simply disappeared from the wall.

Severus had taken the habit to look at his list every morning before getting up from bed, and every evening before falling asleep. He was also working on making up an alarm system which would alert him he needed to begin one task instead of checking every evening. It would be more practical although he would still need to check on his list from time to time, if only not to forget the tasks which had no timeline yet.

His current list was already quite full:

 _To do quickly:_

 _Care about the garden, brew potions for sale, congratulate Jonathan for being made prefect, learn more about Goblins, get information on the sponsorships available in multi-fields in England and abroad._

 _To do within a year:_

 _Study Muggle research and chemistry, repay his Mentor, repay professor Flitwick, repay Lucius, deepen Occlumency study, write to Hagrid, improve knowledge of bond magic, cancel Dumbledore's oath._

 _To do within 5 years:_

 _Vanquish Lycanthropy, get revenge on the Marauders, study healing magic._

 _To do within 10 years:_

 _Become potion master grade I._

 _To do one day:_

 _Get to know his grandparents or not, do the Ritual or not, get revenge on Dumbledore._

Severus was working in his lab, not brewing for once but checking his stocks, inspecting his cauldrons, in short making sure he would have everything needed the next time he decided to brew, when he heard a chime.

He paused. This ward alerted him when someone rung the doorbell.

The chime resonated again. Severus frowned. Who could this be? He walked slowly to the door. It could be Lily. But the probability of Lily coming to see him was close to zero. Still, it felt like her.

Severus froze when the thought materialized in his mind. Where did it come from? He searched for the origin of this feeling and almost had to sat down. His magic was actually testing the person behind the door, the same way it did when Severus was brewing or trying to sense for the magic of a spell or ... The same way it had for all his NEWTS studies, realized Severus. One's sense for magic was primordial for advanced study in magic, the NEWTS had made that obvious. Severus' mind seemed to have received the message loud and clear. But did it mean it would not work on Muggles if it was a sense for magic? Could it be dangerous if a wizard realised what he was doing? Could it be turned against him? So many questions...

Severus shook his head, getting his bearings. First, he needed to see who was behind his door. Walking quickly, he looked through the peep-hole and stared. What was she doing here?

Taking a deep breath, putting on his best blank mask, he opened the door. She stared at him, as if not believing he was in front of her. Severus sneered. She recoiled, then glared at him before looking away.

"I do not have all day, Petunia."

She flushed.

" I... I need your help."

He stared, mind in turmoil. She needed help. From him. She was here. In a part of the city she despised. She had expressed weakness. It was either the truth or an elaborated prank from the Marauders. But Severus was pretty sure Potter and his lackeys were not Petunia's style.

She was looking at him, trying for a cool façade but eyes shining with both hope and despair. He did not know what kind of help she expected from him but...

"Come in."

She did so hesitantly. He closed the door then led her to the salon. She followed in silence. He knew she was judging him. His home. Severus would not be ashamed. He was conscious the house was in a poor state, but it was clean at least, without bottles lining on the floor. More than that, it was his. His father had renounced any claim on this house - no doubt his new one was prettier.

They sat in the salon, awkwardly facing each other, their backs straight as rod in the old unmatched chairs. He did not propose tea. She did not ask for any.

Surprisingly, she looked straight at him when she broke the uncomfortable silence.

"I need a way to protect my family from magic."

She looked like Lily when she had decided now was the time to tackle a problem. Without the red curls and deep green eyes but... their faces expression was the same.

"Lily told us about some problems at school in third year between pro-Muggleborn and pro-Purebloods. She convinced our parents it was nothing to worry about but I... I read some of her newspapers when I could and I was worried. Last year, I read about a Muggle killed by a Wizard for abusing a magical child. I can understand the feeling but... And now with..."

She trailed of, pulling out some papers from her bag and giving them to Severus. He looked them over and barely managed to remain impassive.

 _Defenders first condemnation!_

 _The Defenders are more active than ever, with no less than 10 interventions in the last 3 months. Last week, one was arrested after assaulting a Muggle thanks to the Muggle's neighbours' description, although his partner is still unknown. The justice department was quick to treat this controversial case and the verdict was given today: Guilty of violence against Muggles._

 _However, the judge was lenient as he considered two attenuating circumstances. First, the violence on Muggle was done in defence of a child. Two, it is this Defender first offence. Thus, punishment is only one month in Azkaban._

It was bound to happen one day. Still, Severus felt sorry for the man. Azkaban was not a place he ever wanted to visit, Evan description of the place had given him nightmares.

The second article was much more alarming to Severus.

 _The Defenders, Saviours or Murderers?_

 _Two years have passed since the first actions of the Defenders, group of people believed to be trying to implement Lord Voldemort programme for Muggleborns. We applauded at first, when they saved children from unloving families. We were unwilling to believe the worst when reports of torture and murder of Muggles were heard._

 _Today, we learned of a cruel and barbaric sacrifice which raises even more question about this group._

 _Two muggleborn children bodies were discovered during the night. They were in their room, lying on Dark Arts symbols. The scene reminds us of a time Dark and bloody rituals were permitted. Their parents were dining at their neighbour house, less than two minutes away. They came back late, went to check on their children and stumbled upon the killer. He was wearing black robes and a mask, strangely resembling the costume the Defenders are now wearing after one of their own was imprisoned thanks to a Muggle description._

 _The parents attacked the killer who defended himself with magic. The parents knew about magic as their oldest child had just come back from his first year at Hogwarts. No report or evidence of abuse have been uncovered concerning this child. The parents said the killer was sluggish and the father managed to injure him. The noise attracted neighbours who also attacked the killer. But then, other masked wizards apparated and spirited the killer away._

 _According to our source among the Defenders, one of them was called for suspicion of satanic sacrifices in the area. As you must know, satanic sacrifices stem from Dark blood rituals which were witnessed by Muggles and adopted by some of them, thinking they could gain the same power it granted Wizards. The Defender did not find the children until it was too late and was injured by the real killer. The parents found him while he was just recovering from the killer attack and took him for the real killer._

 _We want to give the Defenders the benefice of the doubt for now, because we know they saved several muggleborn children, but it would be easier if the Defender present on the scene of the sacrifice went to the Aurors of his own volition to explain himself and give Aurors the chance to catch the real murderer._

Severus' mouth was dry. The Defender could be innocent. He could also be guilty. He wondered what kind of ritual had been attempted. One who required the life of two children could not be accepted. It was the kind of rituals which had made the Ministry of Magic forbid all Blood Magic and most Dark Art spells and rituals. His Mentor's doubts... Mulciber's and McDonald... The Blacks' reputation... If a Defender was responsible... He could already hear Lily's voice singing I told you so. He needed to talk to Abraxas.

"Will you help?"

Severus startled. He had completely forgotten Petunia in his distress. He almost laughed. If he was distressed, knowing personally some members of the Defenders who were good persons, how could she not be afraid?

For the first time, Severus felt respect for her. She was doing what was needed to protect her family. She was braving her fear and jealousy and pride to ask him for help because she knew he was her best chance.

"I will need to do some research. Something which will work for a Muggle..."

She nodded.

"Thank you."

They got up and they were back to facing each other awkwardly. Without speaking, he turned, leading her back to the door, then pensively watched her walk away.

Finding a protection working for a Muggle might prove difficult. Except if... He had felt her at the door. Did it mean she had a bit of magic in her? There were schools for the less magically gifted who could not go to Hogwarts. But did they find students like Hogwarts did? Would they come looking for Muggleborns? Their students usually did not have enough magic to be dangerous if left uneducated and mainly consisted of Purebloods rejected by Hogwarts so... Another question for Abraxas. It would help if Petunia had even only a drop of magic.

Days passed quickly. Severus made good use of his floo access to Malfoy manor and his priceless library, doing research for Petunia. He wanted to have something for her before beginning his apprenticeship, in case it took up all his free time.

For all his time spent there, he never found the right moment to ask Abraxas questions about the Defenders. Or never was brave enough to.

One morning, while Severus was harvesting some potions ingredients in his garden, a ministry owl landed in front of him. Severus took the letter with trepidation. It could only be his NEWTs results.

Skipping the formalities, he looked directly at his scores.

 _Transfiguration: Written O Practical E Overall E_

 _Charms: Written E Practical E Overall E_

 _Defence against the Dark Arts: Written O Practical O Overall O_

 _Herbology: Written E Practical A Overall A_

 _Potions: Written O Practical O Overall O_

 _Care of magical creatures: Written A Practical A Overall A_

 _Runes:Written A Practical E Overall E_

 _Arithmancy: Written A Practical A Overall A_

 _We have the pleasure to inform you your potion score is the highest since NEWTs were created. You will thus receive 500 galleons for exceptional junior academical merit. We dearly hope to see you progress into your studies. Scholarships and academical advice are available for students with your capacities, please contact the Department of Academics for more information._

Relief. Elation. Disappointment. Severus felt almost faint, too many contradictory emotions coursing through his mind. He had passed all his NEWTs, which was not a given even for seventh year students. He was pleased with his results in Transfiguration, Defence against the Dark Arts and Potion - the money was a welcome bonus. Arithmancy was not a surprise, and he really did not wish to pursue the subject in his later career. However, Herbology and Care of magical Creatures were a huge disappointment. Despite knowing he had two years less of learning than in the usual curriculum, Severus had worked so hard ... He shuddered to think of the marks he would have earned without his Mentor's resources. Runes was the score he was the proudest of. He had only begun the subject in third year, meaning he had only done half of the usual years of learning. Severus was definitely convinced he wanted to study runes during his apprenticeship.

Runes reduced his choices considerably. Few masters taught both Runes and Potions, usually focusing on runes or coupling it with Defence against the Dark Arts only. Magical universities permitted to study the more subjects at once and were the obvious choice for Severus. He already had several pre-acceptance letters from Horeword, the most prestigious magical university of the United State, UTokoto the most prestigious one of Japan and Oxfarer, the most prestigious one of the United Kingdom. These universities welcomed students from all the world without distinction between level of magical power, only your OWLs and NEWTs results counted. However, Severus was reluctant to return into a school structure. Professor Flitwick had asked him to keep the option open for now, but in his heart, Severus knew it had never been.

The day after, Severus took the floo to Malfoy's manor for a celebration dinner. His Mentor had come to his home at once to congratulate him when Severus had told him his results through the floo the day before. He had remained only the time for a hug before going back to organize the dinner, leaving Severus baffled. He had not thought NEWTs were an accomplishment to celebrate with such pomp.

Severus gracefully exited the floo, shaking his head when he thought some found it difficult not to fall during a floo arrival. If you visualized your exit and looked straight ahead, there was no reason to fall.

"Really Father, how could you? You are the one who came up with the idea, how could you forget it?"

Severus faltered. Raised voices in the manor were not common. Lucius yelling at his father even less so. What was going on?

"We will pursue this conversation later, Lucius. Severus will arrive soon and I want to enjoy his success, not be berated by a young pup who thinks he knows everything."

"I am an adult even if I am not as old and forgetful as you!"

Severus decided he did not want to hear more and entered the salon.

"Good evening."

Two blond heads turned towards him. Lucius looked sheepish, Abraxas relieved if somewhat nervous.

"Good evening Severus. Please come in, make yourself home."

"Hi Severus."

Abraxas called Minky for some champagne and bouchées, then dismissed the house Elf. Lucius looked like he wanted to continue their conversation even with Severus present while his Mentor asked Severus questions about his NEWTs and where he had made mistakes.

After several minutes of his son sullen silence, Abraxas sighed.

"Alright Lucius. Do tell Severus why you were badgering me when he arrived so we can hope to enjoy our dinner. "

Lucius eagerly turned towards Severus. He got the fleeting impression Lucius was trying to ... win him over his side, as if it would add weight to his argument and convince his father.

"You know all Defenders possess a coin which allow them to call for a meeting, to give the place and date of the meeting, or to call for help. Father forgot his coin the day Lord Voldemort was hurt by Muggles while trying to prevent a satanic sacrifice. Our leader almost died because Father forgot his coin!"

"Lord Voldemort?"

The Lord, as well as many other Heads of House, seldom took part in the "save muggleborn children" missions. Their status and power in the wizarding work were too important to lose. Why this time?

"I know. It was on a Sunday, and Lord Voldemort was not sure his intel was legit because it was vague and did not come from our usual sources. He did not want to bother a team for this so he went alone. And when he called for help, some people had forgotten to keep their coin on themselves!"

Abraxas sighed.

"Lucius. As I told you before, I am not the only member of the group. Lord Voldemort was safely recovered by other members of our group and ... "

" What if it had been me? "

Severus had an odd sense of déjà vu.

"I would have been alerted by our family magic." replied Abraxas pointedly.

Lucius huffed.

"Anyway, some of us think it was a trap. Some Muggles think their rituals can capture creatures, demons..." said Lucius rolling his eyes. "We think they tried to capture one of us. We can only guess at why, but it could be to study our magic, to learn more on our group, to..."

"I agree with Lucius on the fact we are missing information to comprehend what happened. But more than that, we have no certainty." interrupted Abraxas.

Severus did not have the time to mull over this disturbing information. Lucius was already moving on his next grief.

"Because of Father forgetfulness, we decided it would be more prudent to have a mean of communication which would always be with us. Your friend Evan suggested a tattoo, several of the most artistic ones of us worked on a design, Lord Voldemort worked on the spells needed and now, I have a tattoo on my arm much more useful than a coin."

Severus was watching both Lucius and his Mentor, the tension was palpable between the two.

" As I told you before, we lack serious studies on the impact linking together several wizards can have on their magic, no matter how benign the spells are." said Lord Malfoy exasperated.

"You checked my tattoo yourself Father. It does nothing more, nothing less, than what it is supposed to, same as your coin."

"But I am not an expert, and you agreed to this without thinking through your options!" said Abraxas angrily.

"Father, I know you are wary of some of our last members, but Lord Voldemort has never let us down thus far. Look how fast he condemned Bellatrix torture of those Muggles. He even cast Crucio on her."

"And this is what worries me. I am wondering about the control some of our members have when it comes to the Dark Arts. I do not need to remind both of you the Dark Arts are ancient, powerful but dangerous magic. Both Bellatrix and Lord Voldemort used Crucio easily, when it is one of the three Unforgivables. I am not even sure they thought about the risks they were taking before using that spell ..."

Severus wriggled uncomfortably in his big armchair. Lucius almost looked cowed for a moment. Mother had made sure Severus knew every danger of practicing the Dark Arts before letting him open a book to study them. Crucio was labelled, among two other spells, Unforgivable. Severus remembered clearly the page on Unforgivables. It was burned into his mind.

 _The three Unforgivables: Crucial, Imperio, Avada Kedavra._

 _The Unforgivables are the darkest known spells, excluding Blood Magic. They require_ _the greatest sacrifice from their victims and their caster._

 _The Unforgivables are among the Dark Arts spells whose sacrifice can be transferred on an external object or being, depending on the kind of sacrifice expected from the spell. But the transfer does not fool the magic and does not end the spell, as it can only end with the real sacrifice. As the spell wants to end, it pushes the caster to cast the spell again so a sacrifice can be given this time. The more the wizard casts the spell refusing the real sacrifice, the more he wants to cast the spell again because the Dark has not been paid. The greater the sacrifice not paid, the greater the pressure from the Dark to cast the spell, the more addicted the wizard become to the Dark Arts, sometimes twisting his magic irrevocably._

 ** _Please note the Unforgivables must be performed correctly and with cautions to avoid any Darkness addiction as well as magical core sickness. Core sickness can lead to one's wand rejection and, in the worst cases, madness and death._**

 _Crucio was created to get information from an Occlumens before the invention of veritaserum. All wizards possess a mind protection. It is more or less powerful, Natural Master Occlumens being the best protected. While Legilimency can get you through most minds, its accuracy and efficiency depend on the Legilimens experience and power as well as on the protections of the mind he wants information from. Moreover, Legilimency cannot see through mind altering magic like Silencing Oaths or Forgetting Spells. Crucio inflicts pain in key pressure and nerve points of the victim's body. The pain is so intense it breaches the mind protection, allowing access for a Legilimens. It can also break mind spells, but the victim might never recover from it. The effectiveness of Crucio depends on the mastery of the caster._

Mother had underlined the fact that when Crucio was used by an expert, he could choose the key point he wanted to put pain into. She had told him about Vladinka, a dark wizard who managed to use Crucio on chakra body points. Through the chakra, the pain twisted the magic of the body, rending some of his victims Squib-like in the best cases.

 _The caster's sacrifice is to live through his victim most physically painful memory while feeling the same pain as the victim. Ironically, it often is the memory of being put under Crucio._

 _Imperio was created to prevent soldiers from fleeing or rebelling when the time to fight the enemy had come, not matter if the adversary advantage was overwhelming. Imperio allows the caster to take control of the body and magic of a wizard. It separates the body and magic from the mind of the victim, preventing the mind from giving orders to his body and magic. As with Crucio, the separation between mind and body depends on the caster's experience and power as well as on the victim resistance. It frequently happens that the separation weakens, allowing the mind to hear the order given to his body and magic by the caster of Imperio. This awareness can allow the victim to break the spell, but it usually requires training and dedication. Being an Occlumens is a definite advantage against this spell but it is not a guaranty of resistance. The more the outside orders are close to the victims' own desires, the less there is a chance that even with a weakness in the separation between body and mind, the mind will realize he is not in control._

 _The caster's sacrifice is the loss of some of his power during a time proportional to the time he used the spell. It has been noted during studies that the more the victim was made to do acts he was against, the more power was lost during the time of the sacrifice._

 _Avada Kedavra was created to offer painless death to victims of incurable curses. It was then extended to executions when justice decided punishment was death. The spell kills the victims instantly without any pain_

 _The caster's sacrifice is to live through every emotionally important events of his victim while feeling the same emotions as the victim._

The chapter on Avada Kedavra was deceptively short. When Severus had asked Mother why, she answered that to know more was a risk he should not chose to take before a long time.

 ** _The use of Unforgivables is strictly restricted by the Ministry. To use one without justification and authorisation is punished by imprisonment in Azkaban._**

"I agree Bellatrix worries me, especially from some stories Narcissa told me. But Lord Voldemort does not show any sign of addiction or lack of control due to Dark Arts use. Father, I really wish you..."

"Enough Lucius. We have already discussed this too much. You will..."

Severus' Mentor was interrupted by the pop announcing a house Elf.

"Minky is sorry to interrupt Masters but Master has an emergency letter." said Minky, giving Lord Malfoy a roll of parchment.

The Lord read the message quickly then sighed. For a brief instant, worry and something else played on his features.

"Father?"

"Yes. Well... One of the Mentor is having a hard time with his charge, a boy who will begin his fifth year in September. His family is one of the worst. Plans were made for him but it all came down when his little brother received his Hogwarts letter this summer. Apparently, the little one hid his magic from his all family because of his parents' reaction to his brother's. Now they are accusing the older one of contaminating his brother. This is a right mess. He called his Mentor this morning who arrived in time to prevent an exorcism on the little one." scoffed Lord Malfoy angrily. "Muggles sometimes... Anyway, now both brothers are with him and he must organize all the papers to prevent the Ministry from taking them back to their family."

Silence fell on the three of them. Severus thanked again their group for setting up the Mentors program.

"I am sorry Severus. We are supposed to be celebrating your achievements tonight. Come boys, let's begin our dinner and talk about merrier subjects."

They stood up as one, Lucius and Severus eager to enjoy the promised feast and forget darker thoughts.

"Severus."

Surprised, he turned to his Mentor. Abraxas held a small box wrapped in a beautiful silver paper.

"Before I forget. Here."

Severus took the box in wonder.

"You must open it alone. It is the tradition when one becomes a man."

Severus was at loss for words.

"Sir..."

"Hush Severus. Come eat now. Let me enjoy my two boys. I am proud of you."

Dinner passed in a blur of delicacies, happiness, and pride. Severus went back to his home early in the morning. Tired as he was, he still opened his gift.

Unwrapping the paper delicately, he let out a square green box with his name engraved in beautiful silver letters. He opened the box to reveal a simple but elegant wrist watch. Severus reverently examined the priceless gift, feeling his eyes prickle when he read the inscription behind the watch:

 _S, Of our Hearts if not of our Blood, L &A_

Two day later, Petunia was back in his home at Severus request. They sat in the old chairs again, although he had taken the care to provide tea and biscuits from Malfoy's Manor.

"I found a way to protect your Blood Line from most harmful Magic." said Severus, not taking the time for pleasantries. "However, it is classified as Dark Magic by our Ministry and require a recurrent blood sacrifice."

Petunia paled but nodded grimly.

"This will be your shield." Explained Severus, showing her a round and smooth jade stone dangling from a silver chain. "You must wear it all the time. Do not take it of more than seven minutes each day or the protection will break until the next sacrifice."

He paused to let his words sink.

"I understand. I can do that." She hesitated. "What is the sacrifice?"

"You must bleed on the stone the three nights of every full Moon. The most efficient way is to nick you finger then put it on the stone a few seconds. You do need to cover the whole stone with your blood, only the part engraved with runes."

She looked at the stone, searching for the runes which disturbed the smooth surface then nodded, still pale.

"Alright. I can manage. Do you have an almanac with the dates of the full Moon? I do not want to miss a day…"

"Here."

Severus gave her a little notebook, pleased with her forethought.

"It gives the dates of the full Moon several months in advance so you can organise yourself. If will also alert you on the day you must make the sacrifice with a chime only you will be able to hear. The chime will end once you have marked in the notebook that the sacrifice has been paid."

He took his knife, making Petunia stiffen.

"I need to link you to the notebook. Just nick your finger and put it on the rune inside the cover."

She did as he asked without hesitating nor trembling.

"This is a jar of healing balm, for your cut. You must have enough for the entire year."

She stared at him. Severus forced himself not to fidget. What was wrong with her?

She tried the balm on her finger, watching in wonder as the cut healed in seconds.

"Thank you… Severus."

"You're welcome. The shied will protect your bloodline, meaning ancestors, descendants, siblings. It will protect against most spells, but won't stop spells with no harmful intentions. I don't know how much use it will prove against potions. I insist it will only protect you from magic, not knives or guns or earth shakes…"

He paused, inwardly satisfied when she took out her own notebook to write the information down.

"The protection also depends on your intent. You must take one moment every day to think of protecting your family into the stone. It is as important as the sacrifice for the success of the shield."

Severus had found the spell in the Malfoy's library. He had known he needed a protective spell which did not require him lending power to it. First, his power was too unstable to be reliable, also since his OWLs, it seemed to get better and better. Two, if his magic was linked to the spell, there was a chance the spell could bled him dry if confronted to something powerful like Avada Kedavra. This and the need for the protection to work for a Muggle had led him to Runes. After much research, he had finally found this very useful spell. It had been banned by the Ministry because classified as Dark magic. Plus, legend said it was once turned from its original use by the Head of House of Gaunt to control his entire House. The House barely escaped extinction but a madness remained in the Blood Line.

Severus suspected this protective spell was still used by the Malfoy under one form or another. Indeed, the book had been well worn and had opened on this spell page.

"Thank you, Severus. Really. "

He snorted.

"You realise the spell could do something totally different from what I just told you and you would never notice. It could even harm you family."

She nodded.

"I know. But I trust you."

That shocked him. She had to put some faith in him to ask for his help, but for Petunia to acknowledged it so freely… She had changed. Or he had not known her that much. Only through Lily. And Petunia's envy for powers she could not have. Would she try and request more than this shield from him?

"I know how your father treated you." She laughed derisively. "Lily is blind. She cannot believe in the ugliness of humans. Not so close to home anyway. I know you did something last year to make him leave your home."

He did not know what to feel. How to react. To hear her talk about his home life, even without specifics…

She looked at him right in the eyes.

"You made him leave. But you did not kill him. And you were friend with Lily. I figured you are my best chance."

"You do realize we are not friends anymore." He sneered, willing the conversation to end.

"I do. It hurts not to be her world anymore, doesn't it?" she smiled wistfully. "I lost her to you, to magic… You lost her to Gryffindor, from what I heard."

Petunia heard and understood too many things. But she offered her knowledge without bragging. Without pleasure for his loss. Unlike when they were younger. They had both grown up it seemed.

"If you need to contact me, you may write by owl or post at this address. It will reach me. If I do not answer and it is an emergency, write at the same address but to Lord Malfoy."

Severus surprised himself at the words, even more when he gave her the address of Malfoy manor.

"Lord Malfoy?" said Petunia, raising her eyebrow. "You have connections. Thank you."

She paused and looked at him, curiosity in her eyes.

"Why can't I write you at Hogwarts?"

"I am sure to receive your letter this way." Answered Severus without missing a bit. Let her make what she wanted out of that.

There was nothing more to say, and he happily watched her out. He was so glad not to take the bloody Hogwarts express in two days.


	19. Interlude

Thanks to all of you who took the time to favourite/review my story :)

Something a bit different, see end of chapter if you are confused about who is who.

* * *

Where was Sev? She had not seen him during her prefect rounds in the train. With his mother dead ... Had he dropped out from Hogwarts for a muggle school? Surely, his father must have insisted his son kept learning about magic even if it reminded him of his dead mother ... Well, she had not like the man much the few times she had encountered him, and Severus seldom talked about him, except to say he did not like magic. She supposed he was jealous, like Petunia was, although she had troubles understanding how a father could not want the best for his child. It saddened her to see Severus suffer because of his father's indifference – she was not stupid, she knew Severus' relationship with his father was not a loving one- and she suspected he was quick to anger like Sev, but it was not like he beat his son.

Had he changed school for Drumstang maybe, where they favoured The Dark Arts according to Mary? Hogwarts was Sev's dream though. And he could have told her... even if they did not speak anymore ... His friends did not seem overly concerned but who knew with Slytherins… What if…

What if he had finally realized she was right and they had hurt him when he told them he did not want to be part of their little group who tortured Muggles anymore? No. No. Rosier and Wilkes had seemed okay, if a little condescending, with her… Wilkes especially unnerved her during their prefect meeting. He had been perfectly polite with her but she had felt the judgement in his eyes. Who was he to judge her when they were happy to insult her because of her blood? She had heard them call her a Mudblood often enough, especially last year. Usually not in Sev presence though…

Anyway, she would ask professor Slughorn if he did not show up tomorrow. Now she had to do her prefect duty with Remus. She would have to drag him out of Black and Potter's hands. How could he be so insufferable? Really, how could have Severus thought she was flirting with the guy? She would never, especially when he had been so cruel to Sev. It had taken her some time to realize it but their pranks were not funny when they targeted Sev. Why they had chosen him was a mystery. She refused to believe it was only because of his poor clothes.

Still, James' attention was flattering. And tiring. Some girls were jealous. She had to admit he seemed to have grown up during summer. Must be because of Black being thrown out from home and taking refuge at the Potter's manor. Remus had been shaken badly by this when she had seen him during summer. It was a good thing the four Marauders had resolved whatever had caused tensions between them last year. Remus had seemed so lost and angry at Black, Black alternating between ignoring him and following him like a puppy. And James had tried to hold the four of them together with the help of Pettigrew. He was so loyal to his friends...

* * *

Snape was not there. It might be a good thing for Padfoot after this summer hardship. And Lily would definitely be free from Slytherin influence. He just needed to be careful not to let Sirius feel neglected or there would be hell to pay, especially with his new situation. He remembered their first meeting in Diagon alley, both looking at the new Comet 6. It had felt like finding a long-lost brother. The Blacks had the reputation to be on the side of crazy but his great aunt Dorea had been a Black and charming and sweet. Sirius was fun and brave and daring... but is parents were no dream come true.

When they had first met Snape and Lily on their first ride to Hogwarts, Sirius had taken an instant dislike to Snape because he reminded him of home. For his part, he had been vexed to have been beaten by a girl. They had both agreed it was all Snape's fault. Then the git only proved them right, using Dark Spells Father said were only used by criminals. Good riddance.

He had been afraid of Snape at the beginning, impressed by his abilities in Potion and Defence, but in the end, the git was only a Slytherin like Grindelwald. And his spells were weak last year. Maybe he had had to drop out from Hogwarts for a school for the less magically gifted as they said. It was unheard of after thirteen but who knew.

Anyway, Father always told him to beware Slytherins, they always have hidden motives, manipulate you without you realizing it. And they are never straightforward with their feelings. Father was once called as a consultant for some Muggles experimented on by Grindelwald. He shivered whenever he thought about Father speaking of it. He had said Grindelwald was a devious and cruel mind whom should have been given the Dementor kiss instead of being locked away in his ruddy tower. Father always said Uncle Albus was too kind-hearted, saying everybody deserved a second chance but in this case...

Father had also added he was not to go playing favourite with the headmaster during the school year even though he knew him from childhood... But who could blame him when he did play on it? It was always for fun...

* * *

Snape was not here. The git. When he had needed to get a fight out of his system to feel better about seeing Regulus. Snape was the perfect target for him. A poor non-pureblood Slytherin so he could get away with hurting him when angry at his parents without them punishing him. And he recognized some of the spells Snape used, Dark magic like his parents had taught him to use, spells that hurt you when you used them except if you used an external sacrifice -like your beloved dog, to teach you another lesson in filial obedience.

Targeting Snape was good Auror training because he gave as good as he got... Except last year, it had been disappointing. A shame as Prongs had been even more motivated now that he wanted to get into Evans' pants. He really did not see what was so great with her. Always so goody and righteous but she abandoned her so-called friend because of a bad word. He had almost felt bad for Snivellus, except Moony could have died because of the git. Snape did not know how to take a prank like a man. It was not like he had tortured him. Moony was a real friend, forgiving him for almost getting him killed. James too, for bearing with him the time it took to realize he had been wrong to do the prank and then to admit it to himself then beg for forgiveness to Moony's feet until all was right again. Wormtail was better than her too; always ready to make his friends feel better by boosting them with the right words. Now he had to find another Slytherin to train on...

Maybe Snape was gone because of him. It felt like triumph to win against a dark wizard. He had to keep at it until he won against his parents. He loved being disinherited, he had finally moved to James' permanently. Best move ever. He wished Regulus had gone with him. The prat had dared say he was as mad as Bellatrix. He did not torture for fun. He tortured to let the Good win so children would never be tortured in the future. Regulus was so ungrateful for forgetting who had made himself a target so often to protect him.

* * *

Snape was not here. What a relief not to face his almost victim every day. Now he could be at peace with forgiving Sirius. He was ashamed of himself. His resolve not to forgive, to be a better prefect... He had barely held two months. He had not even tried to help Snape the day he had lost Lily's friendship… Prongs and Padfoot could say what they wished, he knew the truth. Snape had not finally revealed his true nature by calling Lily a Mudblood. He had only reacted to his humiliation in front of the girl he fancied…

It did not matter anymore. After Sirius disinheritance, he knew he would cave in any demand. The wolf growled at being used and betrayed, but belatedly agreed they were pack and it should be enough. Alpha should now be able to mate with the girl. The wolf approved of the new addition to the pack, good riddance to the almost meat, it had been an obstacle to enlarging the pack.

It scared him sometime, how the wolf part of himself influenced his human behaviour. He had talked to professor McGonagall about it after the incident with Snape, although minimizing the importance of it. She had found him an older werewolf to talk to, specialized in controlling his mind and body from what she had said. The man lived in Tibet and Remus would join him when he graduated. For now, they exchanged letters. It helped, especially when he wanted to tear out Sirius' parents for hurting their son so much. He couldn't wait for Hogwarts to be over. But Snape's absence would help. He knew it.

* * *

Snape was not at Hogwarts. How would it affect their group dynamics? Last year had begun badly, Sirius and James so focused on humiliating the Slytherins, and Snape in particular, that it felt like the only thing they did together. He knew very well that without the Marauders, he would have been that guy everybody enjoyed tormenting, like in his previous school. The first years, their pranks had really been fun, he had enjoyed having a laugh at the expense of the snotty ones. Pranking Snape had been exhilarating too. He had felt like he was having revenge on all his past tormentors.

But last year, there had been something different with Snape. The others had not noticed. Not what mattered. Snape had been hurting. Badly. His spells were weaker. The same intensity as his. And after Sirius stupid prank... He had felt so ashamed, watching another descend into a depression he knew well. The Marauders were his saviours. For Snape, they were...

But he could not regret the prank. Thanks to it, Remus had taken the time to help him with his studies despite his prefect duty, something he had not done since the beginning of the year. James and Sirius too. When Remus had forgiven Sirius, the group felt renewed, it had a new balance. Only their success in becoming animagus at the end of their third year had brought him as much contentment but it had not lasted. This time, he no longer felt like James' and Sirius' sidekick. This blessed state had remained through the summer, reinforced by Sirius disinheritance. He had been worried about their return to school. But Snape was not here. What a stroke of luck.

* * *

He was so happy Severus was not here anymore. With his mind, his friend was wasted here. He bet his absence would upset the Marauders...

Hmm, now that he was a perfect, he would be able to take revenge… But not like Lupin. His best revenge would be to punish them for their deeds, never letting them escape a "prank" without sanction. How one could hate such an inoffensive word… Severus had really scared him after the prank he could not talk about. But he had had to keep his head cold to prevent Evan from hurting the Marauders badly. His friend might not be the best in their class but in a real fight between Black and Evan, he knew who he would bet on.

Another thing to keep in mind. He would have to watch over his friend but it would be difficult with his new prefect duties. He had been surprised and proud when he had received the badge to replace Langford, whose family had left for America and now was schooled at Ilvermorny. Another surprise had been Evans. She had treated him with warm politeness when he had expected cold disdain. Lupin had done the same. He knew she was wondering where Severus was, he had seen her looking through her round in the train. Even now she was looking at their table. Seemed like she still cared… But she had not contacted her so called friend during the whole summer… He supposed Gryffindor pressure was hard on her, especially since the Mulciber-McDonald affair - really, blood Betrothals should be forbidden until both participants were of age, their parents were fools.

It was a shame Hogwarts chose to adapt so much for Muggleborn they forgot to integrate them in the wizarding world. Halloween now was a candies feast when in truth, it was the day the Deads and the Livings were the closest. It was the day for rituals, most Dark, all powerful, several deadly. The reverse was true. The Muggle course was a joke. One Muggleborn Slytherin had wanted to take the course and had been horrified by its contents. Thinking about it, even Severus who was a Half Blood knew nothing about the wizarding world, except for what Evan and he had taught him. Unlike Evans, Severus planned to do research about their world. It was on his to do list. Another thing on his to-do list was to study the Muggles way of doing research. Indeed, it seemed he had learned potions from a book written by a wizard and a squib which explained methods to develop a potion.

He could not believe how brilliant Severus was, like Evan would say. It really was a good thing he had finished with Hogwarts. But he was worried about the time he would be able to spend with Evan with his new prefect duty. It had been the three of them for five years, their year neutral faction in Slytherin House, although he doubted Severus realized they had enough influence in Slytherin to be a faction. Evan will be lonely…

* * *

He wished Severus was here. He had missed his comments on the new first years to remain awake during the feast. Jonathan was so caught up in prefect duty he forgot to be fun. He should have done the same as Severus, but sadly his mind was not good enough. He could see the Mudblood look at the Slytherin table, searching. Severus was better away from her. He had been jealous of the time Severus spent with her, when you could see she did not care. Severus was always so busy and serious, taking care of his mother, his free time with both Jonathan and Evan had been sparse during third and fourth year. And last year... Severus had admitted during their train ride back from Hogwarts that he had used Occlumency to help himself with his wand problem and with the aftermath of the "prank". It had really transformed him... he forgot everything not pertaining to OWLs... Merlin, even the Marauders had been intrigued. Jonathan and he had had their hands full with watching over Severus when he did not even defend himself... Yes, as much as he missed his friend, he was happy he was far away from Hogwarts. He had the feeling troubles were brewing. What could you expect when you taught children Muggleborns had the right to everything and Purebloods must excuse themselves for knowing magic and its tradition since birth? And look at Severus, living in the Muggle world, abused by his father but sneered upon by the Muggles defenders who did not cared… Dumbledore was such a fool, ignoring talent because of his prejudice…

They were so lucky Lord Voldemort had decided to come back from his world exploration to throw himself into bettering the wizarding world. Of course, the man had ambitions. Why the other Houses were so set against this word, he would never understand. You did not improve society, make new discoveries, with only loyalty, bravery and cleverness. Ambition was healthy. It was the fuel needed to remain motivated. Lord Voldemort was brilliant. He had a plan to keep their world from losing all its traditions and knowledge because of Muggleborns. He had also managed to keep their group focused despite some divergence of opinion on how to treat Muggles who hurt children. He did not mind some rough-handling of them - he was not sure of what he would do if faced with Severus' father. But Bellatrix had tortured some of them... Lord Voldemort reprimand had been swift, precise and painful. It had been the right thing to do.

* * *

Snape was gone. Good thing for his plans. Genius and his friends did not realize their power in Slytherin. Both friends were from old pureblood lines – also not Noble houses like the Black or Malfoy - but Rosier's father was close to the Malfoys. Wilkes' had worked for the ministry as an ambassador before retiring to take care of his family business after his father's death. Wilkes was a prefect – why Langford had been named first was a mystery, unless Dumbledore had punished Wilkes for being the Genius' friend… Genius was admired by many of their House for his intellect as well as his cutting tongue. His holding his own against the Marauders was also respected – even if not praised out loud. His poor appearance had been a setback but last year, he had been afraid Snape could become the next king of Slytherin if he tried.

Those fears had disappeared with Snape odd behaviour during the year as well as his public humiliation. And everyone had noticed the decrease of his magical power. Still, the group of three had influence. Now, he might have a better chance at swaying his House per his father desire and his Lord's plans. Soon, Purebloods would regain the power they had lost to the Mudbloods. Such a shame Mary had changed so much and now rejected what the blood magic they had shared so young demanded. She even wanted to cancel their Betrothal. All because she had been sorted in Gryffindor. And because she was friend with a Mudblood that was not too bad at casting spells. Evans. She was good. She had almost won Snape to her side before throwing him away. She had won Mary. She would pay.

* * *

He was proud of the young Slytherin. So touched when he received a brief note telling him he had passed his NEWTS and would not come back to Hogwarts. Could not believe the lad had felt so guilty about Fang he stayed away for two years. Had a good heart beneath sharp tongue and anger. Eyes never lied, that's how he knew how to behave with his beasts. Last time, they had been so tired. How sad Severus had not found at Hogwarts the peace himself had, thanks to Dumbledore. What a great man Dumbledore. Such a shame Severus had not dared go to the Headmasters with his worries. Maybe he should talk to Dumbledore for him, even if the lad did not come back to school this year…

* * *

He really was the best at identifying potentials. Mister Snape has passed his NEWTS with the highest score in Potion ever. He was so proud for tutoring a pupil to his NEWTS, lending him a lab had been the right choice. Such a shame Mister Snape had not been suited to his Slug club. The few times he came, he either stood awkwardly on the side or destroyed other students with his sharp tongue without even trying. He would have talked to Mister Snape and try to help him improve on the social side if he had not been tutored by Lord Malfoy.

The boy clearly was not as socially clueless as some thought. Lord Malfoy did not accept to be caution for any simpleton. He would have to keep an eye on Mister Snape for future achievements. Maybe he should try lending a private lab to another student. Miss Evans was quite good also her marks had been below her usual last year. And she had prefect duties. The same went for Mister Lupin. He would have to think on it. The younger Black might be a good choice...

* * *

What an interesting summer. He was happy Mister Snape had trusted him enough to ask for his favour. The NEWTs results of the young man were incredible when knowing he had 2 years less of study than the students usually taking them. And the apprenticeship offer… Who would have thought… The Prince blood never lied and it certainly ran true though Mister Snape's vein. He did not understand how he had not recognized Augustus Prince's traits in the young man. Hindsight as they say. He would keep watch over the young man.

How pleased his father had been. His half-blood child bringing a new powerful potential ally, one from the blood of their most trustworthy human allies but with his own magical gifts, protected by the Malfoy House... He really hoped Mister Snape would accept the offer. What an auspicious year indeed.

* * *

Mister Snape had graduated this summer. Horace was so proud, boasting of his NEWTS scores. They had been impressive indeed. How he had achieved them when he had obviously lacked power and control last year… She was missing something. He had improved steadily in Transfiguration –when she almost thought him a lost cause during his first year - and his essays were almost always O the previous year. However most of his fifth year practicals had barely been acceptable. She had been almost surprised he passed his OWL. And now his NEWTs…

Yet she was relieved. She loved her lions but last year had been difficult. And the Marauders… She had trouble punishing Mister Black knowing where he came from. Sometimes, she caught a look on his face that made her wondered what he had lived through… She had no such clam with Mister Potter, as charming as he was. But Albus always interfered with her treatment of his favourite boy. She wished he was not so close to the Potter family. She was sure it had coloured his treatment of Mister Snape.

She felt a twinge of guilt, thinking of the slytherin boy. She could have done better. She should have managed her lions another way somehow. It was too late for him now. But this year, she would be careful. She would not allow Albus to meddle with her cubs. Even if he thought he was doing what was best for the wizarding world, children were not pawns. She had already forbidden him to make any other foolish speeches against Lord Voldemort. Really. He might as well have encouraged all those undecided toward the man. She knew his failure with Grindelwald weighted heavily on Albus' mind but he could not let it colour his judgement.

* * *

Mister Snape's name has appeared in the graduated people register. He would have to dig to know what had happened. Now that he thought about it, Horace had boasted about one of his Slytherins but he had not paid attention. So many things to do. Too bad the boy had been a Slytherin through and through; he hated to see Miss Evans so devastated by the tragic end of their friendship. Hopefully, James would heal this wound. He was amused by his favourite boy antics to win the girl. To be so young and carefree... Everything would be for the best. He just needed to watch out for the Slytherins. He could not let them harm permanently a student but the other houses still needed to see how bad Gell... Voldemort and his allies were.

He wished he could erase a House from Hogwarts. Sadly, the Castle did not agree with him. No matter, he had time. It would have been easier if Miss McDonald had agreed to testify against Mister Mulciber. He would have to take a different approach with her to hope to obtain a testimony that would hurt the Mulciber's heir reputation. He needed any advantage against Gell… Voldemort.

The name was ridiculous. Why did you change your name before coming back to England Tom, if you only wanted to be elected minister of Magic? What did you plan?

He had to protect the wizarding world. He owed them. He had been so blinded by his friendship, his admiration for Gellert… and his pride that he had almost been too late. He had paid a steep price though. He had lost his two siblings that day. Never again. For the Greater Good. For Ariana. For Alberforth. Maybe one day, if he tried hard enough, his brother would forgive him.

* * *

AN: In order of apparition, Lily Evans, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Jonathan Wilkes, Evan Rosier, Oliver Mulciber, Hagrid, Horace Slughorn, Filius Flitwick, Minerva McGonagall, Albus Dumbledore.


	20. Chapter 7 Part1

Thanks to all of you who took the time to favourite/review my story !

* * *

On the day others took the train for Hogwarts, Severus met Lord Voldemort at the Pridelicious, a café resembling the Procope but located in Diagon alley. The Lord welcomed him in one of the small but cosy rooms of the café. They sat in front of each other, comfortable in big leather armchairs.

"Thank you for accepting my invitation Severus. I know you've had a busy summer and that you are still looking for the best apprenticeship."

"It is my pleasure, my Lord." answered Severus. He knew the man must have prepared their interview. Nonetheless, it awed him such a busy Lord would both take the time to meet him alone and remember details about his life.

"We have not met often, but Lord Malfoy praises you every time I talk to him. I was very interested by your progresses and I really want to congratulate you for your emancipation and your NEWTs results."

'Thank you, my Lord." answered Severus. Lord Voldemort looked so proud of Severus it hurt. Only his Mentor, Lucius, Jonathan, Evan and Lily had ever looked at him like this.

"It was no small feat. I know it will inspire us." continued the Lord. He paused, watching Severus intently.

"Last time we met, you were interested in our values and vision of the wizarding world. May I ask if it is still the case?"

"Of course, my Lord. Slytherin's rules and outlook on our world may be old but they remain true to this day." he answered earnestly. Was he finally going to be invited to officially join the group and fight for their ideal? He knew Lord Malfoy was having reservations because of some of their members, yet the mentorship as well as Lord Voldemort's program were brilliant.

"I want to propose you to join our group. To join the Defenders." said Lord Voldemort, pausing to watch Severus reaction. He must have liked what he saw because he smiled.

"Like the other young among us, you won't be asked to participate in our rescuing operations, unless no one else is available and the situation is critical."

Severus was disappointed. He had proven he deserved to be treated like an adult. He knew he would do better than some thanks to his knowledge of the muggle world.

"I see you are still earnest to do your share, Severus." said Lord Voldemort, looking pleased. "However, you will begin an apprenticeship, a prestigious one if I am right about you. We cannot jeopardize your success and take the risk of you being injured or captured. This summer events proved that despite our best planning and intentions, interventions don't always go smoothly." he said gravely.

Oh. Severus had doubted the Defenders after the two kids murder. He had been relieved to learn Lord Voldemort was the one involved instead of the Black or one of their followers, as their leader was less than convincing in the Blood magic killer role. And now ... Lord Voldemort had taken great risks to protect muggleborn children, getting hurt in the process, but he was unwilling to let those he considered in his care do the same. Severus felt warm all over.

"I also know we would benefit more from you brewing and developing potions for us. While many can go save the children from their family, few can brew potions to heal them."

"I would be honoured my Lord" answered Severus, trying not to show how touched he was by the reconnaissance and trust in his talent.

"I am glad to count you among the Defenders, Severus. We will of course have a proper introduction to the rest of our members later." said the Lord almost gleefully. "But let me tell you about a few practicalities. You must know all the Defenders are always in contact to be able to act and react quickly to any situation. At first, we used enchanted coins. Now, because of an incident with these coins, most of us have a magical tattoo."

Lord Voldemort pushed up his sleeve to reveal a beautiful green and silver snake on his left forearm. The snake was big enough to be noticed, but not so huge it shocked the eyes. Its expression was wise but attentive. Severus could not believe one tattoo could express so much feelings. It almost looked alive.

He almost agreed to the mark, entranced as he was. But his Mentor's voice resonated in his head, the echoes of his altercation with Lucius threatening Severus of disappointing the man he respected and ... loved the most.

He had planned for this eventual offer and hopefully found a way to decline the gracious offer without seeming ungrateful.

"Again, I am honoured my Lord. But I am reluctant to accept your offer because of my future apprenticeship. I do not yet know what it will be, I already applied to several and I am considering others. Professor Flitwick told me some of the tutors I applied to were strict with their apprentices and required they had no magic linked to them which could perturbed their learning of magic. Although the Defenders' mark is benign and beautiful, I think it could be a reason for rejection of my apprenticeship. "

The Lord was listening to him with attention, nodding at time.

" I understand your reasoning Severus. It is quite sound and I admit I had not thought about it. However..."

He paused, undecided. The look was alien on him. The few times Severus had seen him, Lord Voldemort was always sure of himself, full of confidence, showing and defending his path.

" Let's be honest. At first, the mark was created as an alarm system for those who intervened among Muggles so they could call for support if needed. Now we are extended it to those in need of support like you."

Lord Voldemort raised his hand with a smile to prevent Severus from speaking.

"I know you can take care of yourself, probably better than most of your peers. But your situation is precarious. You are a Half-blood whose magical parent is dead, without other magical family. Your muggle family does not care for you. Your Mentor was your representative in the wizarding world, and Lord Malfoy did a marvellous job, but now you are emancipated, he is not linked to you officially. It means you stand alone in our world while you can be used to harm him."

The Lord paused, letting his words sink in.

Severus was stunned. Stupid. How could he have not realized this?

" The mark would allow us to protect you. You could call for us any moment, no matter the situation, without delay. I know your relationship with Lord Malfoy is close, however, it is unwise to rely on only one person."

Severus hesitated. The offer of protection was tempting. And he knew the mark created a bond of kinship among their wearers, a feeling of belonging had said Lucius. Abraxas had asked why his son needed a tattoo as proof of a feeling. Lucius had said his father was too old to understand. His Mentor disapproved of this beautiful and enticing tattoo. Severus knew the right answer.

"I understand my Lord, and I am grateful for the attention and care you are giving me. I can only propose to take a coin for now until my apprenticeship is decided and I know if the mark will be authorized or not."

Severus held his breath, afraid to see disappointment on the Lord's face. Lord Voldemort was looking at him intently. So intently Severus almost felt an imaginary brush against his Occlumency potions fumes.

"This is an excellent idea, Severus." finally said the Lord. "Give me a few days to plan you proper introduction to our group, you will receive your coin then. I trust you will keep me apprise of your progresses in finding a suitable apprenticeship for your many talents. Do not hesitate to plan a new meeting when you know more."

"Yes Sir." answered Severus, glad to have avoided any unpleasantness between them.

After a few more minutes of banalities, Severus excused himself and made his way to Gringotts.

Severus was anxious. At first, he had dismissed the Goblin apprenticeship offer as something to try after earning his mastery in at least Potion and Defence. Goblins were frightening, cunning and possessed a magic different from wizards, although they excelled in Bond magic. Why would he go looking for troubles when he had enough on his plate?

His NEWTs studies had pushed the matter out of his mind and he had though the matter dealt with. However, since he had received his results, the Goblin's silver band kept flashing through his mind.

None of the available wizard apprenticeships he had found thus far satisfied him completely. The thought of discovering magic kept secret from most, of learning magic books could not give him access to, made him quiver with envy.

When Severus received Lord Voldemort's invitation to come and meet him in Diagon Alley, he had decided Fate, Destiny, whatever you wanted to call it, was giving him a sign. He would go to Gringotts and ask for more details on the apprenticeship, to have no regrets.

As he stood in front of Gringotts for the second time in his life, Severus realised he was putting far more hope in the Goblin apprenticeship than he had thought. He feared they would refuse him because his NEWTs results were not high enough. He feared even more to be disappointed by the apprenticeship content.

Severus ascended the stairs at a measured pace, fighting to keep his nervousness hidden. He bowed to the two goblin guards, disappointed but unsurprised when they did not answer back. He stopped in the Hall above the busy queues to scan the written signs. After looking over the entire room two times, Severus felt dread settle at the bottom of his stomach. No sign claimed "Goblin apprenticeship" or anything close enough to it. He took out the silver band, examining it for hidden clues he had missed. The wristband surface was smooth, except for symbols looking like runes that made no sense to him.

Looking around once more, Severus noticed several Goblins standing in the Hall at seemingly random places. He might have imagined it but one of them looked like he was watching him intently. Taking a deep breath, he walked to the Goblin.

"Greeting, Master of Bonds and Beyond." Said Severus, bowing deferentially.

"Greeting, Learner of Bonds and Beyond." Said the Goblin. "How may Hoardrock help the Learner?"

"This Learner was given a token to explore possibilities once he had passed his NEWTs." Answered Severus, showing the silver wristband to Hoardrock.

The Goblin's face was impassive when he reached for it. He studied it a few seconds before giving it back to Severus.

" If the Learner will follow me."

Hardrock turned to the wall behind him and pressed his hand on it. It opened in a doorway. Severus eagerly followed the Goblin through it, giddy with anticipation. They passed through two more hidden doorways as well as two arches. Severus felt his skin tingle when walking under them and it made him wonder about the defences in place and the tests he might have passed without knowing.

They did not meet anyone during their short walk. When Severus caught sight of the Goblin guarding the next arch, he surmised their destination was close.

The two Goblins exchanged words in their native tongue before the guard nodded and let them pass through to an empty antechamber.

"Stay here. " commanded Hoardrock.

Severus obeyed, watching silently and with curiosity as his guide walk to one side of the room. The Goblin put his hand on the wall, muttering under his breath. At once, one table and to seats emerged from the ground. They were carved in stone, their lines simple but elegant and imposing.

"Sit." said his guide while doing so himself.

Severus gingerly took place into the chair in front of the Goblin. He schooled his face not to show how uncomfortable the seat was.

"Before we begin, please sign this contract to ensure you will not reveal the specifics of what will happen in the next three hours to someone who does not already know what trying for a Goblin apprenticeship entails. I guaranty it will not impact your health or mind."

Severus had expected this after he agreed to the apprenticeship, so he had studied the Goblin focused part of his contract book before coming. He wondered at the kind of magic the goblins would tell him about that required to be guarded so jealously.

Quickly, he read the one sheet contract. It was as straightforward as Hoardrock description of it. He could find no trick in it, and signed it in his most precise penmanship before returning it to the Goblin.

His guide signed the contract too, made a copy he gave to Severus then settled in his chair.

"You have been given the opportunity to take the Trial for Goblin apprenticeship." began Hoardrock, voice low but clear, eyes piercing Severus'. "It is divided into three steps."

The Goblin paused, attentively watching Severus.

Severus had not expected the need to prove himself worthy of the apprenticeship. He had thought to learn more about what it entailed and accept it or not. The need for a Trial hinted at knowledge and power he wanted to be granted access to. But he had to be careful. Goblins were Masters of Bonds and he had already signed one contract.

"The first step is the Cleansing. It gives you access to Goblin territory. Your success or failure at the next step will determine the length of your stay. You may negotiate to increase its duration." said Hoardrock with a smile showing impressive incisive for one creature smaller than Severus.

Negotiate. Right. Severus was certain he had better pass the test with flying colours if he did not want to be indebted until his death.

"The second step is the Blanking. It allows you to live and train among Goblins."

Live among Goblins? It was usual for apprentice to live with his Master. But Hoardrock's words implied something bigger.

"The third and last step is the Naming. It defines which Goblin Art you are to learn."

Oh. He did not get to choose the subject of his apprenticeship.

As if reading his mind, Hoardrock spoke.

"Learners know not the area they are best suited for."

"May I refuse an apprenticeship if I pass the Trial?"

The Goblin smiled. Evilly. It took Severus both his self-control and Occlumency training not to flinch at the sight.

"You may. You would only displease the entire Goblin nation. "

Severus swallowed thickly. If he passed, he would not have the choice. Why had Flitwick not warned him?

Merlin. He doubted he could stand up now and say he was not interested anymore. He had always known people dealing with Goblins were reckless and a tad crazy. Why had he involved himself with them?

For the knowledge. The power. A chance at discovering things few wizards knew of. He sighed. Well, he had other questions needing answers if he were to pull this apprenticeship out.

"You said the Blanking allowed one to live among Goblins. Does it mean the apprentice lives in a goblin village?"

Hoardrock face was impassive.

"You would live in goblin territory during your whole apprenticeship."

Severus felt his head spin. Goblins took apprenticeship seriously. He was beginning to think he was involved in something much bigger than it looked. But Hoardrock did not let him the time to gather his wits.

"Are you ready to begin?"

It was not a question.

"Yes, Master of Bonds and Beyond."

The room light turned blue. Severus did not have the time to ask himself how or why, because his guide spoke immediately.

"To be allowed on goblin territory, you must first be cleansed of any previous Oaths and Contracts. No previous allegiance may keep a Learner from his Path."

That was unexpected. Most of-age wizards were at least involved in magical contracts. To end a contract before its end was costly, and it did not even guaranty you would learn from the Goblins as it was only the first step. And Severus could only surmise the steps difficulty would increase.

" Even Wedding Oaths must be broken, as the path of Goblin Learning can suffer no restriction. Heads of House must also give up their position and transfer the weight of their Oath to another for the time of the apprenticeship, with the risk of not being able to get it back, should the other be more suited to the House Oath."

He had not thought about those Oaths. That explained the lack of Goblin's allies even more, as he supposed Allies Oaths would be at least as restricted as those of a Learner.

"You are only restricted by one oath. A Silencing Oath."

How did Hoardrock know this? To Severus knowledge, it was impossible to know someone's magical links.

"Those are always difficult to break. Usually, you would have to go to the caster of the Oath so that he may cancel it."

Severus felt his stomach drop. As if Dumbledore would help him out of this Oath, especially so he could gain precious knowledge from Goblins.

"Or our specialists could work on breaking the Oath, but we do not guaranty your mind will be unscathed at the end of the procedure. Of course, you would be indebted to us. "

It could not end there. Severus knew he would not take that risk. But there had to be another way...

"However, you seem to be one of a rare case of Constraining Oath."

Severus frowned. He had not read of these kinds of Oaths in his book.

"They are really rare. Constraining Oaths are taken against the subject agreement, and without he benefiting from it. For example, imagine you caught someone doing something they are forbidden to. If they overpower you and make you swear an Oath of silence to spare your life, it is a Constraining Oath. However, if they also give you something you want in exchange, like riches or political favour or whatever you wished for, it is a Silencing Oath."

Severus' mind was reeling. Dumbledore had not threatened his life. He had threatened to expel him, before the OWLs and to make it impossible for Severus to find another school to enrol in. Was it enough?

"I am giving you a textbook example, as some would say. The reality is often more complex."

"But the Oath worked. Mostly. I could not talk about... things."

Hoardrock nodded.

"Constraining Oaths work like a Silencing Oath should at the beginning. Some of our experts have theorised it is the magic of the unwilling Oath-swearer protecting him. With time, the Oath begins to lose its strength until it disappears. The process can take years if it not helped along. Our experts think your Oath should be easily taken care of."

He could be freed. His mind and will would be completely his again.

"What will the Learner's decision be?"

"Make it go. Please."

"The choice has been made."

Suddenly, two other Goblins were at Severus side. They had objects covered in their symbols - those looking like runes - with them.

"The devices will accelerate the disintegration of the Constraining Oath and help your magic eliminate its residue. The Masters of Bonds and Minds will overlook the process and intervene if needed."

Severus nodded, mouth dry. This was going to work.

The two Masters had set up the devices on the table. They took Severus' hands to position them in the devices. Then they linked the devices together.

Severus had expected pain. Instead, he suddenly felt every part of his mind awaken. He became conscious of the lead shape of the Oath he had gotten used to. It was smaller and lighter than he recalled, confirming Hoardrock's explanations.

Severus experimentally pushed against the lead shape. It shook a little but did not move. Carefully, he pushed again and felt something was still tying the shape to his mind.

Sensing for the link between the Oath and his mind, he felt a small link, looking like a little rope Severus prodded it gently. Fear for his future assaulted Severus. What would he do if he was expelled, without OWLs nor recommendation? What would Mother say?

Severus frowned. He had passed his NEWTs. And Mother...

At once, the rope broke. Severus pushed the lead shape again. it moved easily. Smiling, Severus pushed again. And again. Until he was at his mind frontier. There, he pushed the lead shape outside of his mind, where it disintegrated.

Relieved, Severus opened his eyes. He had not realised he had closed them. Was it just over?

"Well done, Learner. You have achieved the Cleansing, and thus gained access to goblin territory. You may drink before beginning the second step."

The two Masters were nowhere to be seen, but a glass filled with water was in front of Severus. He sensed the water for any hidden addition before drinking avidly.

As he put the glass down, the room light turned green.

"To be able to learn from Goblins, you must accept not to be beholden by Bonds." said Hoardrock. "We, Goblins, have a definition of Bonds which is not quite the one of Wizards. You think Bonds are links between living beings created without their intent. When you think of Bonds, you think of life debts and familiars' bonds. Our approach is different, also we agree Bonds are links between beings. When one being interacts with another, a Bond forms. It dissolves sometime after the two beings stop interacting. If one being interacts with another regularly, a lasting Bond can form between the two. This is especially true with family."

"Are you saying Bonds are feelings?" asked Severus perplexed.

The Goblin smiled.

"Feelings hold people as tightly as Magic. Magic is intent, and feelings give intent. The theory is more complex and subtle than this, but you could say Bonds are the magical expression of deep feelings between two beings. Therefore, Bonds can go against one's Oath and lead one to madness."

Severus was sure he did not understand the complexity of what the Hoardrock was saying. Yes, intent was important with Magic, but to have feelings express through Magic…

"You cannot severe Bonds like you can Oath or Contract, because Bonds simply form." Added the Goblin. "Blanking is accepting not to act upon the Bond. For example, if your family needs help, the Bond you share with them might want you to go and help them, but you won't be able to."

Severus frowned. Recalling what Hoardrock had said before … Did it mean Severus would be allowed no contact with Wizards?

"A goblin Learner lives like a Goblin, among Goblins. No contact with other beings is allowed, except letters, once a week only. The Learner is here to learn from Goblins the way goblin younglings do."

There it was. The price. For power and knowledge. Could he do this?

Hoardrock spoke again.

"Only two reasons may allow one Learner to leave Goblin territory and met with other beings. The first is a birth amongst one of your Bonded, so you may initiate a Bond with the newest beings. The second one is the death of one of your Bonded, so you may end the Bond. However, it is only true for strong Bonds. The Learner must give the list of his Bonded at the beginning of his apprenticeship. It might be rejected if the list is too extensive"

That would not be a problem for him. The only ones he had were Abraxas, Lucius, Jonathan and Evan. Maybe Hagrid and Professor Flitwick too. Not Lily. To Severus surprise, the thought hurt less than it should have.

"Does the Learner accept the Blanking?"

There was no choice really.

"I do." Answered Severus.

A sheet of paper appeared in front of him. He read it quickly then looked at Hoardrock raising his eyebrow.

"Magic won't accept a Contract restraining your rights to act upon your Bonds. But it will accept a Contract allowing us to restrain you in case you were to act upon your Bonds, with the exception of the lit you will add in it."

Severus nodded. It made sense. More or less. He quickly wrote his list of Bonded then signed the paper before he could think too much about what he was giving up. The room light turned white.


	21. Chapter 7 Part2

AN: Thank you to all of you who took the time to follow, favourite or review my story :)

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"You will now undergo the ultimate step of the Trial. You will be tested by Masters through several tasks. They will then decide which Goblin Arts your apprenticeship will cover and name you in consequence." said Hoardrock, eyes gleaming with... anticipation?

Severus felt his heart quicken. Now was the time to prove himself. He could not fail when he had come this far.

Hoardrock stood up and gestured for Severus to follow. He realised the room now was divided in several parts. Each one was attended by a different Goblin.

His guide led him to one with several stones on the floor, each spaced a different distance from the other, some small, some bigger.

One other Goblin was here, impassive, standing on the smallest stone.

He nodded once when they reached him. Then, barely letting Severus the time to bow in greetings, he moved to the front end of the stones. He turned his head toward Severus, an implied "watch me" in the tilt of his head, then walked leisurely on the stones, through one end to the other.

There, he gestured for Severus to... do the same?

Unwilling to show any hesitation, Severus walked to the stones then followed the path the Goblin had taken as well as he could remember. It was not hard to keep his balance and he went through smoothly.

Impassive, the goblin Master walked through the stones again, following a different path. Severus was not surprised it was harder than the previous one but still made it through smoothly. They did it again and again, the Goblin showing the path, Severus following it. He went through the motions until he lost his balance.

Severus flushed, quickly standing to his feet. The Master only nodded to Hoardrock before leaving, the stones disappearing into the ground in his wake.

Severus barely had time to wonder if he had done well, Hoardrock was already walking him to a new task.

This time, one Goblin was waiting behind a stone table with pebbles of various shape and size on it. Another similar table was beside him and he gestured for Severus to take place there.

In front of the tables were targets at different distances and heights from them. The Goblin looked over at Severus then chose a pebble. He inclined his head to Severus who had a brief moment of panic before deciding it meant he should find the equivalent pebble on his table. Looking to the Goblin's hand then his table, he settled on one and showed it to him.

He got a tiny nod before the Master threw the pebble to a target, where it stuck right in the centre.

Severus breathed deeply, raising his Occlumency shields to keep panic at bay. Throwing things were not something he had lots of experience with, even less when there were targets. Still, he focused on visualizing where he wants the pebble to land, like he did when aiming his spells - it worked with magic, why not with pebbles right?

The pebble hit the target. Not dead centre but close enough not to be an embarrassment. The Goblin by his side nodded then threw another pebble. And another. They did not stop when Severus missed. They stopped when the tables where empty.

Once again, Hoardrock led him to another Goblin. This time, Severus was to avoid balls flung at him. At first, the balls came slowly. Then their speed increased. Then their number.

Severus thought he did quite well, his experience in dodging Marauders' spells being unexpectedly helpful.

The next task was different. A part of the ground had been covered with leaved and twigs. The goblin Master walked over it gracefully, quickly and without a sound, then gestured at Severus to do the same.

Severus spared a thought to wonder which kind of apprenticeship required these kinds of skills before concentrating. He imagined his father was on the couch, not yet drunk enough to pass out. Severus needed to go to his room without him noticing.

He was nowhere as silent as the Master. Forest grounds were not what he was used to. The Master did not say a word or show what he thought of his performance. Severus bit back a sigh as he followed Hoardrock to the next task.

It was painful. The Master gave him a staff, showed him how to put his grip on it then attacked. Severus did his best to parry or avoid hits, but at the end, he felt he was blue all over his body. He was beginning to worry about how long he still needed to go on. He was tired, and aching, but half the room was still full of Goblins.

Once more, he followed Hoardrock. They went to the far-right end of the room, stopping in front of a Goblin standing beside a door.

"Well met, Learner."

"May our next meeting be as auspicious as today, Master of Knives and Shadows."

Severus was so glad he had studied goblin etiquette before coming here. He did wonder why this Master had offered more information than the neutral greeting used by the others. Severus now knew this Goblin's strength was in his martial prowess rather than his magical abilities.

"You will enter the room and wander through it for exactly five minutes before coming back here."

Severus waited for more instruction, but the Goblin only stared patiently at him.

Right. What kind of test was this? Could he use his wand?

"May I use my wand inside?"

"You may use what you need."

That was a non-answer if Severus ever heard one. It all depended on what he would find in the room. If it was something taken right from a horror movie, he would need his wand. If not... maybe he should try to blend in? Thant would be the Slytherin way to go.

His wand was remaining in his holster then, but ready to be drawn if needed. Severus quickly tested his wordless and wandless Protego, satisfied it came at will after all his practice the past year. He also took care to set a five minutes Tempus timer before going in.

The room was not what he had expected. It looked like a reception room, decorated with a mix of drapes and weapons. Goblins were milling in the room, talking in groups of diverse sizes. Food and drinks were at disposal on five tables dispersed through the room. The atmosphere was light and relaxed.

Severus knew he had no hope of being unnoticed. He was the only non-Goblin in the room. There were no places to hide in shadow, as he quickly assessed the drapes provided no cover, and there were no hidden crooks in the walls. Judging from the room decorum and atmosphere, he needed... to pull a Malfoy.

Straightening himself, Severus moulded his gait in Lucius nonchalant walk, the one he used when he wanted to be taken for a spoilt rich pureblood heir whose only care was planning his next hunting party or choosing the next ball he was going to deign to attend.

He walked leisurely through the room, as if he had every right to be there. He nodded shallow bows to Goblins he met eyes with but only stopped when he reached one table. Severus had never been more uncomfortable in his life, aware of the many eyes on him, unsure if he was using the right strategy. He tried watching everything without seeming too, sure he was missing crucial details. Considering the food as if trying to look undecided about what to choose, he extended his sense to look for tempering. Neither the food nor the drinks lighted up, though most potions could not be detected that way.

Fruits were the hardest to compromise without trace, so Severus helped himself to some grapes. He scented and tasted one cautiously but tried his best not to show it. He did not find anything wrong with it and slowly ate the others, walking again through the room to admire the weapons adorning the walls.

To his relief, the timer went off and he made his way out. The goblin Master was waiting for him and asked him every possible question on every possible detail of the room. How people were dressed. Which weapon was on the far left corner of the room or what the room ambiance was like. He also asked Severus if he had picked up any gossip. The Goblins having spoken in their mother tongue only, he had not had much to tell. At this point, the Master talked him through deducting as much as he could from the behaviours he had observed. When he finally stopped and left, Severus was unsure any of his deductions were right, but he was pretty sure he had said some funny things. What the Master would made of this, he had no idea.

Severus did not sigh or train his feet when Hoardrock moved to another stand, but it was a near thing. For the first time, two Goblins were waiting for them. While one looked like the goblin Masters Severus had seen previously, the second one looked young. Like an apprentice perhaps.

"Greetings Learner." Said the Goblin Master. "You will need a partner for this trial. My own Learner volunteered."

The smile he gave as well as the flicker of his Learner's ears made Severus think the younger Goblin had not had any choice in the matter. It might be a trial for him too.

Severus nodded. It had to be a trial where cooperation was needed, as the previous Masters had had no clam opposing him. He was not a team player, but the goblin Apprentice did not look like a dunderhead. Severus trusted his instinct. Or it might be wishful thinking. Goblins were hard to read when he had no basis for comparison.

"Both of you will be tied together and must achieve a course obstacle in the minimum amount of time." Said the Master while tying them up by the hand.

Severus checked his movement amplitude, noting how it impaired him. The other Learner did the same, and soon they were experimenting how to compensate for their forced closeness.

The Master let them for a fleeting time before barking words in what Severus assumed to be gobbledegook. The sounds were both hard and fluid, like water full of rocks speeding toward a fall.

At once, the Apprentice moved to the beginning of the course, gently enough Severus had the time to take the hint and follow him.

Severus appraised the course, observing a water pool which looked quite deep, and was that a climbing Wall with spikes? He imagined it was the kind of training soldiers or Aurors had. Without being tied to someone else.

The master barked, and they were off. The Apprentice clearly was not novice to this exercise, although Severus surmised their height difference was a new challenge. Himself felt awkward and graceless, struggling with obstacles he would have had a tough time with even on his own. Still, only the climbing wall stalled them for several minutes. The spikes were difficult to avoid when they were linked, but Severus was not sure he would have had the strength to climb to the top without the Apprentice help.

They were both breathing hard when they finished the course, Severus struggling not to collapse altogether. The master said nothing as he cut the bond, but the apprentice bowed slightly. Severus did the same and watched them walk away side by side.

"Here."

Severus almost jumped in surprise. Hoardrock was holding a steamy mug emitting unknown but salivating fragrances.

"Thank you Master Hoardrock."

" You have ten minutes until the next trial. Do not sit down."

Severus nodded and cautiously took a sip of the beverage. It was refreshing and invigorating. He took the time to savour it, ignoring the Goblins still present in the room, except to note they all had a mug too.

The reprieve was brief, and soon enough Hoardrock was leading him to a new Goblin. The Master sat at a table covered by various herbs, leaves and flowers, dried and fresh. He gestured at Severus to sat down, then picked one leaf up and looked at Severus again. Severus felt himself relax. It was a "guess what is it" game. This one was easy.

"Aconite."

The Goblin put it away and picked up another. And another. Until the table was empty. By that time, Severus was sweating. Some plants he had recognized thanks to the Malfoys extensive and worldly greenhouse only. There were still several he had never seen before.

The next task was the same, except with liquids instead. Severus was extremely cautious, not knowing if some were noxious. He was pretty sure he had identified all of them correctly and had the feeling the goblin Master approved of him - he might have been laughing instead.

"Three more to go."

Severus wanted to hug Hoardrock. He settled for a nod and a bow.

Then promptly wished he could throttle him. He did not know how he had missed them, but there were animals -creatures really, beasts that big had to be- everywhere. Of course, Goblins would have their version of Care of Magical Creatures.

The goblin Master was petting a huge black wolf he could have easily ride. when the beast yawn. It displayed impressive teeth and Severus was instantly reminded of one similar dentition he had come far too close to.

It must have sensed his unease because it lazily turned it's head toward him and yawned widely again.

Severus tightened his Occlumency shield as much as he could, focusing on projecting relaxation and ease outside.

The goblin Master looked amused by his efforts but did not say a word. He took Severus hand and lead him to the different animals, sometimes stopping five feet from them and shaking his head, sometime petting them with Severus hand in his.

Severus was proud of himself for bearing with this without histrionics, but he was grateful when it ended.

With a knowing quirk of his lips, Hoardrock took him to one of two remaining tables.

"Greeting Learner."

"Greeting Master of Bonds and Beyond" answered Severus, bowing his head.

"I will ask you a question. You will pick one object in front of you in answer to that question."

The table was covered with objects of various size and materials, seemingly without any connection between them. Severus could not guess at the uses of some of them.

"Who was the first Goblin to travel to China?"

Hmm. Was there supposed to be a logic in this? Maybe the colourful fan?

"Who was Grandilock's favourite hound?"

The Golden collar maybe?

It went on, and Severus could not make head or tail of this trial. He stopped trying to use logic and went with luck when the Master asked, "which spoon was the favourite of the late queen's aunt?" and there were none on the table.

Finally, Severus was at the last table. The last task. Watching over the table, he felt excitement as well as dread build in his stomach. Seven stones were set on the table. Each was carved with symbols, the ones which looked like runes but were not. Some looked more like runes than others.

The goblin Master gave Severus a pen and a parchment.

"First, you will copy each symbol. Then you will write their meanings. The task is over when you have proposed a meaning for each symbol."

"I understand, Master of Bond and Beyond" said Severus. He could not wait to begin but he needed something to write and organise his ideas.

"May I ask for a sheet of paper please?"

The master looked at him until he wondered if he had made a grave error in judgement before giving him several sheets of paper, never saying a word.

Severus quickly organised his table as he liked then looked at the master. At his nod, he went to work.

Severus took the time to study one symbol every curves and straight lines before copying it on the parchment, leaving rooms beside to write its meaning.

Copying the symbols, he realized some parts really could be runes combined with other kinds of symbols. Unless there were goblin runes? He identified two kinds different from the one he knew.

With this thought in mind, he began working on the meanings of the symbols. He wrote the runes he recognized to guess the symbol whole meaning from it, but the sense of runes depended on their combination. Without knowing the others ...

Well, he had passed his NEWTs. NEWTs were all about feeling the magic. It should not be that different whether it was wizard or goblin magic.

Severus stretched his senses, searching for magic. He was elated to feel some emanating from each symbol. He breathed deeply and focused on the first one. It mostly possessed wizard runes, with two more goblin ones as Severus had dubbed them.

The usual combination of the wizard runes was used to boost one's health. From what Severus felt, the goblin runes enhanced the other runes to heal. However, it did not feel powerful, so a symbol used for minor healing. Severus nodded when he felt how little energy was necessary to power the symbol. Another indication it was minor, meaning useful for colds or slight headache but not a broken arm.

Severus worked on the other symbols, from the one with the more wizard runes to the one who used none. He determined there was one to keep water cold and one to keep a sword sharp. Two felt like keeping vermin outside but with very different runes used. Severus wondered but after studying the symbols, he determined he could learn nothing more without knowing all the runes significance.

He was less certain of the other two, only getting a sense of family and meeting for one, focused heat for the other.

But the last one baffled him. He did not feel anything coming from it. Severus frown, trying to use what he had learn of the goblin runes from the other symbols to decipher this last one.

Either it was a kind of shield or it was not activated. He did not see other possibilities.

Severus studied the symbol again, following the curves and lines to see if one looked cut off. There. This end line looked unfinished, compared to the one on another symbol. If it was the same rune, which was not a guaranty.

"This one is not active." He said, tapping in front of the symbol with his hand.

"Indeed learner." Said the goblin Master. "Sometimes, you need to work on symbols old enough the stone had been eroded to the point it broke the symbol. Or sometime, the symbol must be deciphered but is too dangerous or unknown to keep activated."

So, Severus was supposed to find out What this symbol meant without feeling it or knowing any of the runes, except from what he had deduced from other symbols. Perfect. He always liked a challenge.

He went back over all his deductions on the use and meaning of each rune he did not know, then studied the symbol again. Severus did not know how long he remained focused on this puzzle, only the runes and him existing in his mind.

Finally, he decided he had the best possible meaning he could deduce. It was a shield against happiness. Or the sun.

Writing both meaning on his sheet, he put it in front of the master.

The Goblin looked over his answers, eyebrow rising along the way.

"Give me your rough draft."

Severus startled but executed himself.

The goblin Master looked over everything, face impassive except for his arched eyebrow. After what felt like hours, he nodded, got up and left.

"Come eat."

Severus blinked, feeling his exhaustion dropping on his shoulders as the adrenalin and focus he had used during the Trials faded. Hoardrock was walking to a stone table which had appeared from nowhere - or he had been too distracted to notice.

They sat down while one Goblin brought each one full plate of stew with bread and ale to wash it down. The smells made Severus salivate and he waited no time to empty his plate. Finally looking up from his food, he saw Hoardrock had been as enthusiast as him.

"Are you ready for the Trial verdict?"

Severus would have rather go to bed and sleep for twelve hours. Instead, he acquiesced dutifully.

" You have shown aptitude in most goblin Arts. Some we expected. Others we did not, or not on this scale. Your Trial lasted longer than most. We debated lengthily and have decided to grant you an apprenticeship proposal with one major, three minors, and one project. Your major would be Runes. Your minors would be Infiltration, Herbs and Defence. Your project would be Potions. Your major will be your main field of study while your minors will be learnings on the side but to be later used in your main field. Your project is in a field we cannot teach you anything more about but will provide goals to reach and means to attain them. It will also later be combined with your major."

Hoardrock paused, looking at Severus.

"Would it be acceptable to you?"

It was way better than acceptable.

"Yes, Master Hoardrock."

The Goblin was obviously not surprised by his answer.

"We will iron out your Contract now."

Severus stifled a groan. He knew it was going to take forever. And it did.

The Apprenticeship encompassed the study of the fields Hoardrock had mentioned to Severus, as well as housing, feeding and clothing. Severus could have no contact outside the Goblins, except for letters he could send and receive once a week. The Contract stated that to break that condition meant to never be able to deal with Goblins again.

The Apprenticeship lasted until Severus either passed or was rejected, although it did not precise which kind of test was required to either pass or fail. He had ten years at most to pass.

They hit a block when Severus asked what would happen to his house and garden during this time. He did not have the mean to pay someone to both care for it and guard it - although he doubted anyone would try to steal him seeing the state of his home. He refused the offer of a loan from the Goblins to pay for someone, arguing it was their term for the Apprenticeship that put him in this quandary. He also explained he could not become indebted to someone outside of the Goblins as it would nullify the Cleansing.

They finally agreed the Goblins would have one House Elf care for Severus' house and garden once a week. They would also put wards on to protect Severus' property.

Severus read his Apprenticeship Contract carefully twice before signing it. He felt a weight lift from his shoulders. The Goblins also told him what his name would be for the duration of his Apprenticeship, thus ending the Naming trial. He barely noticed when the room lights turned blue.

Exhausted, Severus did not look around the room Hoardrock had led him to before climbing into the bed. He fell asleep smiling, with a name on his lips. Daoack, Learner of Shields and Crossings.

Tomorrow the Goblins would show him where he would live during his Apprenticeship. Tomorrow he would meet his Master. Tomorrow he would arrange for some of his clothes to be brought. Tomorrow he would write letters. To warn his Mentor and his friends they would not see him for the duration of his Apprenticeship - Goblins better be friendly. To apologize to Lord Voldemort for not being able to meet again soon. Tomorrow.


	22. Chapter 8 Part1

Thanks to all of you who took the time to follow/favourite/review my story! (update soon! is not a review and makes me want not to update just to spite you)

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"Before even thinking about studying your Apprenticeship field, you must learn the two basics. They are the foundation of our civilisation. They were not included in your Contract because no one, be it Wizards, Muggles, Faes, any living creatures, even Goblins, can hope to master them."

Severus was hanging onto the Goblin's every word. Wirkrund was one of the Goblin's Wises. Among other things, he was responsible for the youngsters' general education. Severus was going to spend several days with him before being allowed to study his Apprenticeship chosen fields with other Masters.

Severus was living with Drunek, his Master, Master of Magic and Myst. Drunek had a wife, two kids and expecting a third. Severus had been uneasy at first, feeling like an added burden, but his Master had silently but efficiently put him at ease. His wife's smile -despite pointy teeth- and their two children's curiosity may had helped too. He wished Abraxas and Lucius could come visit him because he knew then he would be completely happy.

"Goblins live longer than Wizards. You can reasonably hope to attain 150 years. 200 if your magic remains balanced. We can easily live up to 300 years. The oldest known Goblin died just before his 392 birthday. Goblins reached adulthood in their 36 years. Not before. Not after. We have the time to learn how to use and manipulate magic through our bodies."

Severus listened with rapt attention. This was why he had accepted this Apprenticeship. To learn. To know.

"Magic flows all around us but through us as well, humans, plants, creatures. She flows through us but there are focused points where she takes from us as much as we take from her. Those points are called Khorlos, also humans usually know them as Chakras. Have you heard of them?"

Severus shivered. He would never forget the one time he had heard about Chakras. How one wizard used them to improve the effects of the Cruciatus curse.

"I have, in a story. Only in passing, without details."

"It is often the case with our few wizard apprentices. We learn to focus the magic through the Khorlos and then let it flow through our body. You do not have the time to learn so you use wands as a focusing point. It is not a bad thing, your species compensated for one weakness in order to survive."

Wirkrund's smile was predatory and approving.

"However, wandmaking is complicated if you want a wand to help you achieve Khorlo use, which is only the stepping-off point for understanding how to use magic. Nowadays, wands have become customary when before they were only a tool."

He paused, looking at Severus thoughtfully.

"Have you heard of the Ritual?"

Severus raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"I have. Abraxas… Lord Malfoy told me about it."

The Goblin… smirked. Kind of.

"Yes, he would tell you. He does know the last English Wizard who passed the Ritual."

Severus was intrigued. But he had no time to ponder more. Wirkrund was speaking again.

"Achieving the Ritual means you have mastered the solar plexus Khorlo. It is the Khorlo of self. By knowing oneself, one can balance Magic within oneself. This balance usually manifest itself physically in the form of a familiar. I am talking about real familiars, meaning animals made of magic like phoenixes or dragons for example. The fact that you and your wand are bonded means you know who you are and can focus magic within yourself. Now you just need to become aware of it and to learn how to balance it within yourself."

Severus frowned. He needed time to think. To compare the Goblin theory and what he knew – or thought he knew. But…

"How do Wizards pass the Ritual without your guidance, or one of long life species?"

Wirkrund's ears moved.

"Ah. A few managed on their own. Most indeed had guidance from one specie or another."

"Why is it not more well-known?"

As soon as he spoke, Severus knew it was a stupid question. Knowledge was power. Wizards who could not cast spells without wands were weaker. And powerful Wizards bereft of their wand when they failed the Ritual, imbalanced by their loss, were good for Goblins. Even though the last Goblin wars dated back to 1780s, it would be like yesterday for them.

He added hastily.

"Why is it not more well-known when some of us know about it?"

Wirkrund's ears flickered again.

"Ah. Indeed. It must be because we chose our Learners carefully."

The Goblin smiled with an impressive show of dangerous looking teeth.

"I did not noticed many familiars here."

Severus almost clamped his mouth on his words. He was not insinuating Goblins failed the Ritual as often as Wizards. But he had only spotted three Goblins with Familiars thus far.

The wise looked at him in silence for a long time. Severus forced himself not to fidget. They could not kill him for being rude or noisy. His Contract stated his Apprentice status made him an honorary Goblin for the time being.

"Goblins' familiars are different from Wizards', as well as from Faes' or Vampires'. Faes' familiars usually are plants, whereas Vampires' will be humans."

Severus silenced a shout of surprise. Humans as familiars?

"Wizards' familiars usually are magical creatures. Goblins'...usually are Wargs."

Severus frowned. Wargs were big wolves who usually lived in pack. Goblins used them as mounts when they went to war.

"Wargs are pack creatures, as Goblins are. The familiar usually lives with his pack most off the time, his pack being familiars of other Goblins. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rules."

Severus nodded slowly. Wizards had different needs from Goblins or other Creatures. It made sense their familiars would offer something different to them too.

"Now. There is an Art every Goblin learns from their youngest years. It's not a magical Art because Khorlos are not only magical focus points. It's an Art used in all goblin Arts, so every Apprentice must learn it. We call it T'aichich'üan."

He paused, as if waiting for Severus to comment on the word, maybe expecting him to know it.

He did not. He was surprised by the sonority of the word. It did not sound like the Gobbledegook he had heard the day before. Neither did it sound like Khorlos. It was as though those words did not belong to the Goblin language.

"It does not sound like Gobbledegook." said Severus, hoping he had not made an etiquette faux-pas.

"Indeed." said Wirkrund, sounding pleased. "It is a Chinese word. Goblins have had means to travel quickly through the world for a long time. Our Nation is spread all over the planet, but you would not know it if you were to cross it on foot."

Severus was impressed. Portkeys were invented during Grindelwald years. Before, wizards only travelled by floo or brooms, both being limited in their travel range. Wirkrund words implied Goblins were far ahead of Wizards in this branch of Magic.

"It will be crucial for your runes study, but I will leave your Master the pleasure to tell you more."

Severus was pretty sure the light in the Goblin's eyes meant he knew he was torturing Severus by teasing him with a drop of knowledge and was enjoying it.

"Thank you, Master Wirkrund." He forced himself to say.

The Master nodded then spoke again.

"T'aichich'üan will help you find focus and feel the flow of Magic through your Khorlos… with time and practice. We will do so this afternoon."

Severus wanted to huff. Why could they not practice now?

"The second basic is the importance of one's word in a magical world. The importance of one word meaning. The importance to know how words apply to situation, creatures… Magic is intent, and words convey intent. Spells with one-word incantation have unforeseen results depending on who cast them because one word can have many interpretations. The same can be said for long worded incantations, except if the words are precisely chosen and assembled. It is even more true for Oaths and Contracts. In this matter, it is even more important to know the meaning of words. And to acknowledge which meaning we give to words. Lying to oneself only leads to failure and pain."

Severus was glad he had studied his Oath book, as well as had experience with creating new spells. It helped follow Wirkrund lesson. It did not prevent him from sporting a headache when they stopped for lunch. His mind felt overflowed with information he could not rationalise yet.

Lunch was simple yet filling and full of unknown tastes he enjoyed. Severus was relieved when Wirkrund led him to a small and quiet garden afterwards, instead of the room they had remained in the whole morning. He could not wait to begin T'aichich'üan.

He soon realised his mistake. He had forgotten the "no one can hope to master them" part.

T'aichich'üan was frustrating. And painful, although according to Wirkrund it should not be.

The goblin Master would take poses and Severus would copy him as well as he could. This part was already awkward, but then he had to hold the pose for what felt like hours, before Wirkrund would slowly move to another one.

They went through a short series of poses then the Master posted himself at Severus side and told him to do it again. Then, he corrected Severus every little mistake, pushing his body in position regardless of how unnatural it felt to Severus.

"This is the first kata. It is taught to our younglings as soon as they know how to walk, to teach them how to feel magic flow through their body. It is used after ailments to help the body find its balance again. It is used to quiet one's mind in time of troubles. Once you can move through it, I will begin to teach you how to see the flow of Magic in your body. It will take some time."

The more he practised, the more Severus was wondering if he had taken more than he could chew. He was not as athletic as James Potter, but he was not delicate or weak, his Trials were proof enough. But when his hips were in the right position, his legs were not. When his feet cooperated, his shoulders did not. Time and time again, Wirkrund had him repeat the series of poses.

Severus was grateful to go back to his room after an early dinner with Drunek's family. He was sore, tired and a bit homesick. He fought back the tears he could feel coming to his eyes and the hollow pit in his stomach when he saw the stack of letters on his desks. He should be happy. His friends had all written back to him, congratulating him for snatching such a prominent master. Severus was bound not to reveal his real Apprenticeship, but the Goblins were old hands at this. They had given him a false Master name, one used by any Wizard who took a Goblin Apprenticeship, to tell his friends.

Severus has not expected the false name to be so well known and recognized among his peers, even when they did not know what it really meant, and all agreed the mystery surrounding the Master was another appeal.

Abraxas and Lucius had written back letters full of pride and love as well. They did not seem to know Severus was with Goblins.

When he had filled himself with their compliments and happiness for him, one letter remained.

Curious, Severus wondered who, apart from Abraxas, would use such rich parchment. His name was elegantly scripted on the envelope. Turning the letter, he froze. He had looked for this emblem in his first year. The Prince blazon was taunting him.

Severus threw the letter away from him. He summoned his wand without even thinking, throwing Incendio, Bombarda, Reducio, and any other destructive spells that came to mind without being dark.

The letter remained intact.

He took a knife from his chamber decoration – yes, goblin decorations on the wall were mostly weapons of any sorts and weapons – and tore through the letter. Tried to. It only glided further on the floor.

Well.

Might as well take a look.

 _Dear Grandson,_

 _I am afraid you will find this letter to be too little too late. You would be right, and I can only try to explain how it came to be, although it is no excuse for my tardiness._

 _I put several protective spells on this letter as I heard from Abraxas you inherited the Prince's temper. Please, I only ask you to read my words, so I may hope one day you will agree to meet us, your grands-parents._

That was unexpected. Almost a nice twisted attention from someone who had ignored him his all life.

 _I was furious with your mother when she ran away with a Muggle a few days before her betrothal with one of Abraxas' cousins. Abraxas is the brother I never had, and the expected joining of our families was a joy to both of us. I would have eventually forgiven her if she had not hidden to her husband she was a witch. I knew too many sob stories to have any doubt on how it would end. I disinherited her until she told her husband the truth or divorced him._

Mother had said as much in her letter. There would be at least one truth in this letter.

 _I knew when you were born, privilege of the Head of House. Your grand-mother and I went to see you that day. Our daughter was so happy, looking at her husband holding their son with a smile. It was obvious she had told him about magic and he had accepted it, because she never would have chanced a child otherwise._

Right.

 _We_ _watched the happy family from afar, and decided to respect our daughter's choice and happiness, even though it tore at our hearts (I have taken a photograph of the memory and joined it to my letter)._

He did not want to see it. He really did not. But he had already taken the envelope included with the parchment he had ignored at first. Opening it with trembling fingers, he stared. He did not remember ever seeing his parents look as happy as they did in the photograph. They both alternated between looking at him and at each other. With love. Like nothing could be more precious than the three of them.

He did not know how long he remained watching them. Those well-known strangers. When he put the photograph on his bed table, his hands were shaking, fingers white and hurting from being clutched too tight too long.

He breathed deeply to calm his heart and clear his eyes from the tears he had not allowed to fall. He had a letter to read.

 _You must wonder why we never went back to see our daughter and her family, even from afar. I owe you the truth, because you are my grandson and we already hurt you far too much without meaning to. She did not need us. We would not need her._

He understood the feeling. Anger and indifference were easier to bear than hurt and longing. But adults were supposed to be better than that. He had needed them to come back.

 _I was overjoyed to hear from you through Lucius several years later. I had hoped to, knowing you would begin Hogwarts – and Slytherin grapevines is the best… The boy sung your praises to Abraxas every chance he got: how you were a genius, the good grades you had… I was so proud._

He snorted. If he had been proud, he would have come and meet him. He would have come for him.

 _I began looking for a way to get to know you while respecting my daughter's choices. When we decided to implement the Mentorship, I wanted to take on you. Abraxas and I argued lengthily before I realised I would not be the best for you. You needed someone without baggage. Someone who would not try to mend his relationship with his lost daughter through you. If you are wondering why Abraxas never told you he knew you were my grandson, he was respecting my wish not to interfere with your mother's desire to obliviate us from her life. He would not have lied to you if you had confided in your lineage, but you never did. I thought your Mother had taught you to despise us._

No, they did it themselves by never showing up.

 _I also shudder to imagine some harpies barging on her to ask for retribution on past offences and perceived slights on their honour. I have taken great care not to let any Wizard or Witch know my daughter was no living in a paradise far away island._

 _You were included in the Mentorship program because as a Half-blood living in the muggle world, you needed more connection to the Wizarding World. I now fear you also needed the Mentorship to protect you from your home life. You never said anything to Abraxas or your friends, but they expressed concerns… I now fear my daughter was not as wise as I thought she was. I fear she took the chance on a child without telling her husband of her heritage. I fear you are not one exception to Slytherin's rules…_

He feared. Did he even know what it really meant to fear?

 _Abraxas kept me apprised of your progresses. I am happy Eileen took you to Maverick. I know you struggled with your wand – maybe still are – but trust me on this: Princes do badly with non-custom wands. We are the family with the highest successful rate for the Ritual. And do not forget there are always different side to words and prophecies._

 _I was the one who provided the books on Oaths you needed. I am a bit worried about why you would need it. I know Princes, and although Abraxas believed you, I know you must have wanted it for more than theory._

How could he know Severus so well without having ever met him? Blood could not tell that much. He could not have spoken that much with Abraxas about him. He did not care that much. Giving a book was easy.

 _I felt Eileen death. Like a knife in my heart. Head of House privilege. Your grand-mother wanted to come to you at once. But I had to care for my own mentoree who was being hurt by his family. I knew once I began to try and mend our relationship, I would be hard pressed to give him the attention he deserved._

That was the worst excuse ever.

 _We agreed to contact you as soon as his situation was under control. It sadly took much longer than we thought._

 _We went to see her grave but learnt you had her cremated. Wandering through town and listening to gossip, we learnt some truths about your father. I cannot help but feel I owe you a deep thank you as well as an apology, although your mother's urn and cinders showed nothing suspicious._

How did he know?

He was not mad at him… because he had preserved the Prince's honour, of course.

 _We finally managed to find a date to meet you. I arranged with Abraxas to come for your NEWTs celebration. But once again, there was an incident with my mentoree, concerning his little brother this time. I could not let him down. Abraxas was here for you._

Still the worse excuse ever. Even if he could understand. Barely.

 _And then, when at last your grand-mother and I were waiting for you at Abraxas' home, when you were supposed to come for diner with Abraxas and Lucius, you went and got yourself an Apprenticeship with Goblins, preventing any contact with us except letters until you mastered it. You found the most fitted punishment without knowing._

He laughed. Not to cry. With nerves. And sorrow. And loss. And …

 _You are a Prince true and true. We currently are the only family allied with the goblin nation. I am so proud of you, even though I do not have any right to be._

No right what so ever.

 _My mistake was to believe my daughter was wise. My mistake was to believe she would love you more than herself. My mistake was to trust without checking like a Gryffindor. It won't happen again, but it is too late for you, isn't it?_

Sixteen years too late.

 _I still hope to meet with you once. If you cannot bear me, I beg you to at least allow your grand-mother this incommensurable pleasure. Know that I swore you in the Head of House Oath on your birthday. By this admission, you should now have another chapter in your Oaths book about the Princes. I hope you will take the time to peruse it._

The sneaky Slytherin. He dangled knowledge of Oath in front of Severus to make him learn and maybe care about his family. He was not reading it.

 _Do not reply at once. You have time before you need to decide after all. We will be waiting._

Will you?

 _Your Grand-Father_

 _Lord Augustus Prince._

Underneath the signature, another hand had written, as elegantly but more delicately:

 _With all my love, regrets and hopes,_

 _Your Grand-Mother_

 _Lady Madeline Prince_


End file.
